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Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships

Another day, another rejection.

dating_mystery Senior Member
dating_mystery
dating_mystery

Joined: 20 October 2013
Posts: 234

Posted: 07 January 2014 at 8:57am | IP Logged
I don't really mind rejections you know. Everyone has right to reject. I reject too (twice, when I was not dating at all). So don't mind answers like "Yeah, she rejected you hard", "You've no chance with her. "She doesn't even want to talk" etc..

So here it goes --

Me:You new to the gym?
She:No
Me:So how many months?
She:I come and go on and off.
Me:You're maintaining yourself?
She:(laughing) No I'm fat
Me:No, you dont look fat, you look good.
She:(laughing kind of hard)
Me:So you first start in the treadmill?
She:I'm doing bicep exercises, dumbbells and all that.
Me:Weight training.
She:And then cardio.
Me:Saw any improvement?
She:I just joined so..

This time I even praised her.

Does it look like I'm moving on her? What do you think of her attitude? Is she trying to escape from the conversation? Is she trying to give rejection signs? Answer these question assuming you're in India.

And yeah, people who know -- Now I think I get less stares. First girls are going to notice, stare hard or give some weird reaction like laughter-control or giggling etc... then they ignore. It's good actually. I got more privacy now.

@TroubleShooter
This girl was dark. In case you think I like white only. And most girls I've approached, they're darker than me (my firends say I look kinda British, although no one assumed me to be non-Indian till date).


Edited by dating_mystery - 07 January 2014 at 10:09am

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No2Pencil

D3viL Goldie
D3viL
D3viL

Joined: 29 November 2013
Posts: 1181

Posted: 07 January 2014 at 9:22am | IP Logged
OMGodfather never EVER tell a girl they look good until you know she is hooked and have had many dates. If you tell her she looks good she already thinks you have accessed her physically and have judged her and she will judge you accordingly and that is that you are a creep with no shame telling a random person they look good! Regardless of the fact that they are in the gym! Firstly they are in the gym cuz they know they want to look better!

Never in a gym give your opinion about how someone's body looks ..unless they are in front of a mirror taking selfies! Never in a relationship ever tell her what to do with her body! It's a big insecurity and you don't want to make her feel insecure around you because a relationship is based on one thing and one thing only!! Security!!

For me that conversation is a big salvage operation .. You come across as a little bit desperate or overly fake nice telling her that she doesn't look fat ..

How about you wear and ear piece and ill whisper in your ear how to talk to your next girl! Talk about Briyani seriously girls love Briyani!


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MasterDisasterdating_mystery.MissAmerica.No2Pencil

dating_mystery Senior Member
dating_mystery
dating_mystery

Joined: 20 October 2013
Posts: 234

Posted: 07 January 2014 at 10:17am | IP Logged
Post updated.

Ok. I made a mistake.

But the girl didn't look fat actually (if she did I wouldn't have approached her in the 1st place).

Thanks for the tips man!

Any girl opinion?


Edited by dating_mystery - 07 January 2014 at 10:15am
dating_mystery Senior Member
dating_mystery
dating_mystery

Joined: 20 October 2013
Posts: 234

Posted: 07 January 2014 at 9:14pm | IP Logged
@TroubleShooter

I though about this --

The girls wants to be praised by the guys they're interested in. But they're only interested in good looking guys. I've seen the girls wanting my best friend to call them beautiful and praise and ask for pics of them before hooking up.

But he's a good looking guy, so his rules are different. So in general if a girls like a guy (who's a stranger), she's going to like praises cause in the 1st place she's going to use her body as a weapon to get the guy. So she naturally wants it to work.

Look, it was not that odd (was it?). I just said casually, 'you don't look fat, you know, you look good'... that was not much of a praise was it? I was just countering the fact that she thinks she's fat. So dont you think I made her feel better by saying 'you look good'. I mean, isn't that ok for someone who comes to the gym?

Also it's commonly understood by the girls that, if a guy is praising her, it means he's moving on her. So if I do not praise her, she'll just think I'm not really interested and just curious. Like this thread you know.

I did not approach and moved on her. She came and sat to a bench close to me (that's the only feasible place to sit in the gym), so she was close by and I thought why not move? I got the opportunity.


Edited by dating_mystery - 07 January 2014 at 9:12pm
.MissAmerica. IF-Dazzler
.MissAmerica.
.MissAmerica.

Joined: 08 November 2011
Posts: 4716

Posted: 08 January 2014 at 6:51am | IP Logged
Ok I wanted to make another topic to give tips to u,but I cant due to some email reasons...
So,you want to date a girl...I mean,just date or you want to be in a relationship..coz being in a relationship doesnt mind you're going on dates or not...or maybe you want to spend the knowing period time with a girl to see her and you together work or not??

First of all,Stop staring girls...you know what I think..they dont notice you...they notice that you're noticing her for a loong time..she thinks its incidentally you're staring at her...so after sometime she looks again and see you noticing her again...and after sometime again...coz it has happened with me a lot of time.By this way,you're already tarnishing your image..she'll never talk to you(In my POV)

If you're interested in a girl...start a friendly convo...convo may not be very long but atleast know her name and what's her professional front...I guess you may make some talks of some office works...leave it till then...dont make long convos during first 2-3 days..she'll get comfortable and can look to u as a friend...Believe me,you cant go to next category unless you come to friend zone...so 1st enter there...

After 2-3 days,you can ask what hobbies she has..and whatever she replies,search it on google and get more knowledge about it and next day,talk to the girl about it...girls love to talk about things they love...
You can ask her if she's on any social networking site...fb,gtalk..etc etc...it'll be easy for you to know her and grow the comfort level between both of you.

You're wrong if you think girls dont like silent guys...once there was this guy who liked me...he was also the one who dont speak much...but the starting 10 steps were taken by him only...next 90,I jumpedLOL

The girls who come to gym,comes there genuinely for body workouts...and not for dating purpose unlike you..so why would they give you reactions unless you're in some dating adda??

I think you've problems in understanding a girl and you dont share a much-comfort level with them...I may advise you to join some vocational fun course type of thing as its short-term course plus there everyone gel up preety well so you may get some ladies as friends and they'll unknowingly help u understand females better...

If you think that 2-3 days talk and you'll be on dating table,then you're wrong my friend...before starting dating,there need to be atleast one month time unless you're just going to take her for free lunch or dinner.

I've been approached by a lot of guys and I know what type you're.you need to be a bit more approachable...do wish every..and I mean every girl morning,day,night..etc..they'll reply to this and you'll feel good...Do paas a lil smile to girls...a friendly one...
And plzzz dont talk about girl's weight even if you're in gym..I may never talk to that person again who'll talk about my weight.
Please first be friends with girl and then make sure that the girl knows you're interested in her...
And also keep in mind that the nature of the girl you're approaching to..as am a free-minded girl..Once if a silent guy gives me enough hint that he likes me...then I myself take it forward keeping in mind his nature...but most of girls will never do that...

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No2Pencil

.MissAmerica. IF-Dazzler
.MissAmerica.
.MissAmerica.

Joined: 08 November 2011
Posts: 4716

Posted: 08 January 2014 at 6:58am | IP Logged
And this was my longest post in my 2 and half year history of India Forums...Sorry for my bad English if you're unable to understand anything...
dating_mystery Senior Member
dating_mystery
dating_mystery

Joined: 20 October 2013
Posts: 234

Posted: 08 January 2014 at 10:14am | IP Logged
@-Suhana-

Thanks for making so much effort!! I always appreciate.

I'm looking forward towards a relationship. And I want to physically see her. Not phone relationships. So first I need to date.

First of all,Stop staring girls...you know what I think..they dont notice you...they notice that you're noticing her for a loong time..she thinks its incidentally you're staring at her...so after sometime she looks again and see you noticing her again...and after sometime again...coz it has happened with me a lot of time.By this way,you're already tarnishing your image..she'll never talk to you(In my POV)


Ok.

If you're interested in a girl...start a friendly convo...convo may not be very long but atleast know her name and what's her professional front...I guess you may make some talks of some office works...leave it till then...dont make long convos during first 2-3 days..she'll get comfortable and can look to u as a friend...Believe me,you cant go to next category unless you come to friend zone...so 1st enter there...

After 2-3 days,you can ask what hobbies she has..and whatever she replies,search it on google and get more knowledge about it and next day,talk to the girl about it...girls love to talk about things they love...
You can ask her if she's on any social networking site...fb,gtalk..etc etc...it'll be easy for you to know her and grow the comfort level between both of you.


OMG!! Dead SOOO much work... Ok, I'll try if the girl remains friendly. But she does not usually. For e.g. this girl is now missing from the gym. As with all girls I've approached (except 1).

Dont you think the girl should respond a little? I mean, check out the conversation I had with her. I was literally dragging the conversation. But that beautiful girl, she's friendly with me. Humm... but she actually bought a guy to avoid a conversation with me (it was her cousin or something).

The girls who come to gym,comes there genuinely for body workouts...and not for dating purpose unlike you..so why would they give you reactions unless you're in some dating adda??


But there're no places specifically for dating in here. Pubs/bars are not exactly for that here.

If you think that 2-3 days talk and you'll be on dating table,then you're wrong my friend...before starting dating,there need to be atleast one month time unless you're just going to take her for free lunch or dinner.


I understand that, but the girl should at least sustain the talk, so I can move forward.

And plzzz dont talk about girl's weight even if you're in gym..I may never talk to that person again who'll talk about my weight.


Did I do something wrong in this conversation in this context?Confused I mean I praised her 'you look good'.
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