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Arakshi FF: Ajeeb si daastan.. Chapter 18C - Pg.101 27/4 (Page 42)

sashashyam IF-Sizzlerz
sashashyam
sashashyam

Joined: 04 January 2012
Posts: 14450

Posted: 15 April 2014 at 2:03am | IP Logged
This, my dearest Avantika, was a very nasty episode.
I remember telling you once that I do not like, indeed cannot stand torture scenes, which is why I do not read spy novels, even the  relatively mild James Bond ones. Nor could I ever stand the leering, ugly rape scenes - God, how even the word makes my skin crawl! - in the Hindi films of up to 20 years ago.
Now this is a combination of both, and you have gone to town with the details. I know that such things do happen in isolated  places, though Mussoorie, with the NAA, is not my idea of an isolated, typical small town. But normally,  a woman has to be arrested by a woman officer and cannot kept in an all male  police station after 6 pm. She has to be produced before a magistrate. And this sort of thing goes on right in the middle of a Police Academy? It is as  well that you have a large disclaimer, my dear!
Anyhow, I am afraid that all this torture-cum-indecent advances  got to be too much for me. I do not think so much of lurid detail was needed for the sake of the impact. That would have been just as strong if Trivedi had threatened her with a sure fire sentence.  Her life, and her mission, which in  a way are conjoined, would have both been destroyed in a instant.
I suppose you wanted to highlight the sheer horror of it,  so that the dramatic impact of our hero saving his fair maiden from what used to be called a fate worse than death is suitably heightened. But it was too much, Avantika.
The trouble is that you write so well that that whole, ugly scene and  Sakshi's helpless desperation, the unbearable shame and revulsion she feels,  become palpable. Real. I could feel all that she felt. So it is your fault, my dear, not once but  twice over. How is that for a left handed compliment?
Now to compensate  for making me feel sick to the stomach, make sure you include not just a "few punches", but a  full scale bashing of Trivedi till his ugly mug has been nearly reduced to a pulp. Anything less than that will not be acceptable, so take heed, young lady!
Shyamala Aunty
[QUOTE=_Mohabbatgirl_]

Hello everyone.. Me is back! Hug

Err.. before you start glaring at the screen, I should apologise for being late. 

Been caught up with a lot of stuff lately.

I won't be able to reply to each one of you, but please know that I really appreciate every tiny bit of your feedback.. Thank you! Big smile

I hope the upcoming chapter answers some of your queries.. Smile


Anyhow.. Here's the next one.. Some of you might find it a little short (Yeah greedy u.. Tongue) But I had to stop there.


** Your comments are my only source of inspiration (except of course, my twisted head) and hence I'd love it if you chose to acknowledge the FF in any way you can, if you follow it


I'm already losing a lot of readers, for reasons unknown to me. And hence intend to move all my works to my personal blog in the near future, if this goes on.

The next updates, either PM or blog ones will only be sent to those of you who're really interested in reading further.. Coz it is annoying to send out so many PMs and receive so little feedback..


DISCLAIMER:

The story revolves around a fictional Police force and Institutions associated with it. I do not intend to criticise or malign any individual or organisation. It's fiction and hence I guess, I can be a bit liberal with creative freedom here.. Big smile

Besides, it's me.. So you should know by now, when to keep your logic aside.. LOLWink

Also, the previous warning stays.. It's going to be suuper filmy, so please take it with a pinch of salt.. 

I condemn any form of violence against women, but am taking a liberty here with fiction. Hope none of it offends any of you.


                                                                         CHAPTER 6

 




Edited by sashashyam - 15 April 2014 at 2:01am

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life93

yas23 Goldie
yas23
yas23

Joined: 27 November 2012
Posts: 1687

Posted: 16 April 2014 at 3:04pm | IP Logged
Awesome update
hate the trivedi
liked that Sakshi tried to fight back
loved Arjun's entry
waiting for the next part
thanks for the pm
continue soon
laila1994 IF-Dazzler
laila1994
laila1994

Joined: 31 August 2011
Posts: 3649

Posted: 21 April 2014 at 9:20am | IP Logged
I finished my syllabus before 2 weeks of my exams, I had nothing to do today so I started reading this FF.Cool
And believe me, the charm of your story again worked on me. Heart
I thought I will read only a chap or two but story got more interested after every update so I read chap2-6 in a go.
 
Sorry can't comment on every chapter individually.Embarrassed
The concept is fantastic.
But the thing that stole my heart is Sakshi's character.
As you have already told us that she will be a grey character, I am looking forward to it.

PS. Add me in your PM list for this one too


Edited by laila1994 - 21 April 2014 at 12:55pm
AeDilHaiMushkil IF-Rockerz
AeDilHaiMushkil
AeDilHaiMushkil

Joined: 08 March 2011
Posts: 7523

Posted: 11 May 2014 at 8:43am | IP Logged
Res for Thank-You's.. (Will be back to unres later) 


Hello peeps! I know I'm suuper late.. The same usual stuff; bad health, heat and piles of workload.. Confused

Anyhow, here's the next Chapter and I hope you haven't forgotten the plot, as yet.. LOL

Catering to public demands, here's a full fledged bashing of Trivedi.. More to come, later.. Wink

The pace of the story may feel slow as of now, but trust me on that one.. I'm building it up and for that, need to get a few things sorted first.. And I promise, won't delay it much.. Tongue

Thank you for your appreciation (and patience) Wink Hug

Heart




Edited by Fantasia_junkie - 15 May 2014 at 2:31pm

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AeDilHaiMushkil IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 11 May 2014 at 8:43am | IP Logged




Edited by Fantasia_junkie - 23 March 2015 at 4:48pm

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ll-Shilpa-ll IF-Sizzlerz
ll-Shilpa-ll
ll-Shilpa-ll

Joined: 08 February 2010
Posts: 13720

Posted: 11 May 2014 at 8:44am | IP Logged

Err...behna...Sorry is not enough for my lateness in reading and commenting on this, but please, please forgive me.

 
To the update..wow..one action packed angry Arjunwala update, how can I not love it.
 
Aha...he was mad that an innocent girl was facing a monster like Trivedi but once he saw who the innocent girl was his rage knew no bound.
 
I had expected him to be angry of course but his rage was something else.
 
Loved the way he took care of her, and he took off his shirt to cover her with.Tongue And a black vestWink
 
Need I say more.
 
And Lisa couldn't resist checking him out either.LOL
 
Awe...poor Sakshi, going thru the trauma was bad enough, but now she had her father's memory to deal with too.
 
Hope things only get better for both from here on out.
 
Looking forward to next update.


Edited by ll-Shilpa-ll - 11 June 2014 at 2:02am
laila1994 IF-Dazzler
laila1994
laila1994

Joined: 31 August 2011
Posts: 3649

Posted: 11 May 2014 at 9:05am | IP Logged
*Edited*

Arjun's attitude was out of the world.
Loved it.

Sakshi's turmoil was really disturbing.
they didn't even show Sakshi her father's dead body because it was damaged.Ouch


Sorry for the short comment actually the update was really disturbing I can understand why you wrote it in three daysDead

"My life, my career and my honour was destroyed with a snap of a few fingers but we were all helpless. There's nothing more that we can do, you have to let me go.." 


Arjun got the news of his mentor being accused By TV...did he went to meet his menntor after that??? If yes then his mentor must have given him some clues to prove him innocent.Ouch

@Blue: He didn't say We both were helpless...in ALL is he including someone else too??



Edited by laila1994 - 19 May 2014 at 5:44am

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AeDilHaiMushkil

Rehana25 IF-Dazzler
Rehana25
Rehana25

Joined: 19 June 2013
Posts: 2619

Posted: 15 May 2014 at 3:13pm | IP Logged
Oh god I had tears in my eyes
I love the way Arjun save her
And beat that bas***d
Oh ho Liza entry wow so nice
And the way she talk with Arjun
Love it
Poor sakshi bare lot of things but
When Arjun come to know that she is his mentor
Daughter I am waiting for that time
Impatiently
Do continue soon dear

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AeDilHaiMushkil

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