This, my dearest Avantika, was a very nasty
episode.
I remember telling you once that I do not like, indeed cannot stand
torture scenes, which is why I do not read spy novels, even the relatively mild James Bond ones. Nor could I
ever stand the leering, ugly rape scenes - God, how even the word makes my skin
crawl! - in the Hindi films of up to 20 years ago.
Now this is a combination of both, and you
have gone to town with the details. I know that such things do happen in isolated places, though Mussoorie, with the NAA, is
not my idea of an isolated, typical small town. But normally, a woman has to be arrested by a woman officer
and cannot kept in an all male police
station after 6 pm. She has to be produced before a magistrate. And this sort
of thing goes on right in the middle of a Police Academy? It is as well that you have a large disclaimer, my
dear!
Anyhow, I am afraid that all this
torture-cum-indecent advances got to be
too much for me. I do not think so much of lurid detail was needed for the sake
of the impact. That would have been just as strong if Trivedi had threatened
her with a sure fire sentence. Her life, and her mission, which in a way are conjoined, would have both been destroyed in a instant.
I suppose you wanted to highlight the sheer
horror of it, so that the dramatic impact of our hero saving his fair maiden
from what used to be called a fate worse than death is suitably heightened. But
it was too much, Avantika.
The trouble is that you write so well that
that whole, ugly scene and Sakshi's
helpless desperation, the unbearable shame and revulsion she feels, become palpable. Real. I could feel all that she
felt. So it is your fault, my dear, not once but twice over. How is that for a left handed
compliment?
Now to compensate for making me feel sick to the stomach, make
sure you include not just a "few punches", but a full scale bashing of Trivedi till his ugly
mug has been nearly reduced to a pulp. Anything less than that will not be
acceptable, so take heed, young lady!
Shyamala Aunty
[QUOTE=_Mohabbatgirl_]Hello everyone.. Me is back! 🤗
Err.. before you start glaring at the screen, I should apologise for being late.
Been caught up with a lot of stuff lately.
I won't be able to reply to each one of you, but please know that I really appreciate every tiny bit of your feedback.. Thank you! 😃
I hope the upcoming chapter answers some of your queries.. 😊
Anyhow.. Here's the next one.. Some of you might find it a little short (Yeah greedy u.. 😛) But I had to stop there.
** Your comments are my only source of inspiration (except of course, my twisted head) and hence I'd love it if you chose to acknowledge the FF in any way you can, if you follow it
I'm already losing a lot of readers, for reasons unknown to me. And hence intend to move all my works to my personal blog in the near future, if this goes on.
The next updates, either PM or blog ones will only be sent to those of you who're really interested in reading further.. Coz it is annoying to send out so many PMs and receive so little feedback..
DISCLAIMER:
The
story revolves around a fictional Police force and Institutions
associated with it. I do not intend to criticise or malign any
individual or organisation. It's fiction and hence I guess, I can be a
bit liberal with creative freedom here.. 😃
Besides, it's me.. So you should know by now, when to keep your logic aside.. 😆😉
Also, the previous warning stays.. It's going to be suuper filmy, so please take it with a pinch of salt..
I condemn any form of violence against women, but am taking a liberty here with fiction. Hope none of it offends any of you.
CHAPTER 6
Edited by sashashyam - 10 years ago
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