Dreams ,Desires and Demands | Diya Aur Baati Hum

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Piu Chatterjee

@Transference

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 5

Posted: 10 years ago

Hi Folks,
This is my topic in this forum .Hope to have Discussions in a healthy and fair manner.
Well certain things are bothering me.AS I am not a DABH watcher and have just come across due to Neil Bhatt's entry as CADET Zakir,I CANNOT SAY WHAT THINGS WERE AND HOW THINGS ARE.But THIS POST IS SOLELY BASED ON MY OBSERVATIONS FOR THE PAST WEEK.

Since last week These three key words have been BOGGLING my mind...
About Dreams ,Desires and Demands.

Dreams of Sandhya

What is the purpose of a dream come true if you are not able to relish the moments with pride and bask in the glory of your feat?
What is the purpose of a dream when even it is fulfilled,you still move forward with half-hearted sense of unsurity?
What is the purpose of such a dream when even if it comes comes TRUE you do nothing but mope and think about priorities apart from the ever cherished dream?
Wasn't being IPS her dream since DAY 1?
Wasn't being an asset for the society and service to humanity her ULTIMATE DREAM ?
Why this Apprehension ? What am I missing?

Desires of Suraj

Why the desire of cherishing and fulfilling the dreams of Sandhya so unsure?
Was it not his desire to see her in the IPS uniform?
Why doesn't he ever desire to stand up for his wife in front of his mother?
Does the desire of having a Saree clad ORIGINAL Wife whom he loves is overpowering his Desire to become an UNCONDITIONAL SUPPORT TO Sandhya?Why this sudden desire of proclaiming his love for the Saree clad Sandhya ?

Demands of Bhabho

I want to ask the so called MIL in the show that whether she will be so skeptical and frowning if it would have been her son instead of Bahu being selected.Would a wife say That I love my original hubby who used to tag along with me and not this one in uniform...
Would the mother still stop her son if he was getting such opportunities?Would she be always threatening him as if she owns his life and pose obstacles..Hmm.What message is there in such a scenario??

Regards,
Piu

AM I MISSING SOMETHING ??Dreams ,Desires and Demands I cannot put the pieces together. They are all hazy and merged for me.

Edited by manzilmukul - 10 years ago

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Frequent Posters

EXOL

@EXOL

IF-Stunnerz

+ 7

Posted: 10 years ago

Brilliant post piu...even i have the same doubts

i still dont get it why Suraj said that he prefers her in saree avtaar...may be its a honest confession but why at that moment of victory..it went over my head.

and again ..i dont like when Suraj is all mum infront of his mom..

and above all i fail to see the pride on face of sandhya..as u said was it not her dream ???😕

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952985

Inactive

Posted: 10 years ago

Hi dabh fans! I love the show! Iam not mocking or making fun of anyone! So if anything is say offends anyone sorry!

Hi,

U have raised questions that wld take 100 hours to answer n it will be longer than Ramayana!!!!

Le me write something which may not make sense or even answer ur questions! I will go from last question to first!

N I sometimes answer seriously, n sometimes very wacko manner. So bear wih me!

Ok, suraj

Suraj telling his wife he .loves her in saree .

Imagine ur husband wearing Barathanatyam dress n dancing, what wld u tell him?

He desires to stand up, he is trying to but is doing it in such slow motion, in snails pace, it will be another 500 epis before he finishes standing up!

Ok, he is portrayed as a very obedient, loving son, a sravan Kumar, so can't go against his mom! He is sensitive n a sweet heart!

Yes, he desires for,his wife to achieve but not at any cost! He cannot hurt his mom! Family first!

Ok sandy

Yes, she had the dream to become an IPS officer which she sacrificed at the altar of marriage, which her hubby found out, revived n is dreaming for her!

Surya (suraj-sandhya) r about sacrifice. Suraj will sacrifice for sandy, sandy will sacrifice for suraj! N they will still achieve everything!

N sandy has not achieved her dreams yet! She still has a looong way to go before training gets over n she becomes IPS officer! Lots more drama to come! Sandy knows it, till she finishes n becomes an officer nothing is certain. She is just not celebrating prematurely!

The dilemma here is can a woman perform such a job as IPS officer, be a public servant which requires lots of sacrifices n great deal of commitment, n do justice to her family life also without compromising either one (Her family, n life also requires lots of sacrifices from sandy, as u have seen!)

Sorry my answers will not endear you to the show! Just some observations!

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

IF-Stunnerz

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

Piu I will try my best to answer your queries. Let me start first with Sandhya's dreams. Sandhya's dream from day 1 was to become an IPS officer. Unfortunately for her her parents died in a bomb blast and her brother in his greed to migrate to US married her off to a school educated guy that is Sooraj. Her marriage to Sooraj was based on a lie from both end. It was told to her he is a professional and it was told to them she is only 7th pass. This lie told by her brother turned Sandhya's life upside down.

Her marital life started on a lie and she tried to continue the lie so that her parents upbringing was not questioned. When that lie came out Sooraj shared her blame and stopped her from thrown out by his mother. Thus her relationship to him started of first with respect and gratitude and then she gradually fell in love with him and along the journey of becoming IPS she completely accepted him as her husband.

Though they are married for 2 years it is very recently Sandhya came close to Sooraj in every aspect and like any wife who has to go away from her husband immediately after a long due honeymoon she is feeling some hiccups. Her words with Sooraj is needed to be taken only in that sense. I mean when training starts it is something Sandhya can easily get over.

Now coming to Sooraj's desire. Yes he wanted his wife to be IPS. He had gone all the way to bring her to this place after she tried multiple times to sacrifice her dream. If you look at the character Sooraj has come a long way from a mama's boy to a doting husband. Coming to saree part today's episode clearly clarified that Sooraj has accepted Sandhya in both ways. His dialogues tell that when Sandhya is in uniform her duty to country comes first and in saree she becomes his wife. It was just an acceptance of 2 avatars of Sandhya and let her know he is happy to see her in both avatars.

Now if you look at the above picture things are quite good and ok with the couple. But here lies the catch. The demands of Bhabo. Sooraj for all his support has still not cut his apron strings completely. He still needs Bhabo as emotional crutch. Irrespective of knowing multiple things Bhabo has done on Sandhya he has not yet directly confronted Bhabo on her misdeeds and has used his own methods to bypass them. He worships Bhabo and believes that you cannot be rude or questioning your parents. Bhabo explotis this love and respect of his to control both Sooraj and Sandhya's lives.

Sandhya loves Sooraj and she knows Sooraj loves Bhabo. So when Bhabo is annoyed she indirectly fears she might loose Sooraj. Sandhya has suffered one emotional trauma in the loss of her parents and she is in no position to suffer another. Also Bhabo showed some love to her and the young girl yearns for the security of a family which the fate has cruelly taken from her. This is Sandhya's emotional weakness. She needs both Sooraj and IPS. Only then she will be happy. Sooraj needs Bhabo and Sandhya thinks to have Sooraj along with IPS she has to please Bhabo at any cost. Hence all her confusion.

Sandhya will be liberated and enjoy her dream fully the day Sooraj stands upto Bhabo and in a given circumstance choose Sandhya over Bhabo.

Coming to your query on what use is the dream if you cannot enjoy it after you fulfill is , it is for you to decide your priority. For Sandhya to become truly an IPS officer she has to liberate herself from the clutches of Bhabo and grow emotionally.

Piu I hope I have been able to answer atleast some of your queries.

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952985

Inactive

Posted: 10 years ago

@m nice post!

@neil, n m

Dabh is a complicated show, requires lots of complex thinking n mature understanding n sacrifices (our time), u can't just watch one epi n decide!

I bet by the time agent Zakir finishes, u wld have become dabh fans!

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Piu Chatterjee

@Transference

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 5

Posted: 10 years ago

@PT
Thanks for the response.
I understand what you are saying but honestly
1.If my Husband is wearing a Bharatnatyam dress and tries to dance one fine day..I will not say I love your original self in pant shirt..I will say how lovely you look in this and wow KUDOS TO YOU FOR STARTING SOMETHING NEW !!Clothes are nothing but like the bark of a tree Shedding with seasons..but what matters is your heart ...LIKE THE ROOTS OF THE TREE WHICH STAYS FIRM.
2. Suraj Sacrifice -Yea I AGREE Sacrifice is the CRUX of his CHARACTER...But for me as Ramayana and other EPICS do say.."To bear Anayaya in the name of SACRIFICE AND RESPECT is A CRIME in ITSELF.."
Please do not COMPARE him to Shravan Kumar..I agree he SACRIFICED but Sharavan Kumar a SUPPORT to his parents who were in need.Here I don't see him even Standing in front of his MOTHER to tell her she is WRONG...
Sandhya I agree she is a PREY to circumstances but SORRY TO SAY if she is not happy about her achievement then her DUTY DONE WITHOUT HEART IS FUTILE-"Jinka lakshya nahi jivan mein woh aise reh jatey hain jaise Lakhon dheron patte Pani mein beh jatey hain..."

@Suraj Sandhya Relationship..I AGREE ABOUT SACRIFICE... being the BEAUTY of their RELATIONSHIP...But
What is SACRIFICE if it teaches you nothing but being MEEK..
What is the purpose of SACRIFICE if it Doesn't teach you SELF -RESPECT...

@Women trying to balance home and outside..
my questions in General
Why is it Always the RESPONSIBILITY of a WOMAN to manage BOTH FAMILY AND OUTSIDE..If Men WORK outside DO they care to look back ?
What is The message of propagation ?
A women has to be a SUPERWOMAN TO HANDLE EVERYTHING ??WHY BURDEN HER ?? Why SHOULD she be expected to MANAGE EVERYTHING ??

Well I am not saying all this because it's a show..but because my own life experiences...

Edited by manzilmukul - 10 years ago

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952985

Inactive

Posted: 10 years ago

Dabh in a nutshell,

Suraj wants to do his duty to mom n family(he has been taking care of them from his 9th grade, )he is the earning, (halwaii) caretaker of his family, has almost raised his siblings,

N now wants to do the duties of a good hubby

Babho only wants a dil who will serve the family n not anything else,

Sandy wanted to serve the country, got married, adjusted to married life in a very different environment, slowly struggled to be accepted by the family, became a loving, good wife, good dil,

Now the time has come for her to revive her dreams, she is struggling to balance everything n do justice to all her duties!

N get used to it! Babho plays a MAJOR role in dabh!

Se might even become friends with Zakirs parents n start caring for zakir, n meddle with Zakirs love life n love interest!!!!!

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Piu Chatterjee

@Transference

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 5

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: ..PT..
@m nice post!
@neil, n m
Dabh is a complicated show, requires lots of complex thinking n mature understanding n sacrifices (our time), u can't just watch one epi n decide!

I bet by the time agent Zakir finishes, u wld have become dabh fans!

@Blue..
Well though the comment is not directed towards me but I will answer the MATURITY AND COMPLEXITY PART..I never thought I will but.. I will definitely share my own story..I am the bahu of a VERY CONSERVATIVE FAMILY..A family where Bahus were supposed to adorn pallus and not even sit near proximity of MIL's ,We even did purdah from our MALE In laws...
my mother's home ,Yes I was a girl who belonged to a home where Women were LIBERAL..the transformation was too much to bear..But I will tell you what the REAL meaning of SACRIFICE means...My husband stood for me ,Stood up for anything that was WRONG AND REGRESSIVE..Not only for me but SETTING AN EXAMPLE FOR ALL THOSE COMING BAHUS OF OUR FAMILY.Believe me when I say it He loves his OWN mother more than ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD-YES MORE THAN SURAJ DOES.But just because FAMILY COMES FIRST he never bowed his HEAD TO WHAT WAS WRONG!!Honestly my MIL understood ,she was reprimanded for all that was negative..THAT WAS NOT HURTING HER ...THAT WAS STANDING FOR WHAT WAS RIGHT...
I wear business suits to work.We are modern in every sense of the word not only in thinking and treating women with respect but also focussing on warmth of emotions rather than burdening each other in the name of sanskaars

You won't believe but we live in different cities because I HAD DREAMS ...I HAD DREAMS which could be fulfilled in this way...
We had moments of apprehensions but HE ONLY SAYS ..YOU WILL FOLLOW YOUR DREAM NO MATTER WHAT??
This is what a HUSBAND STANDS FOR NOT ONLY WITH EACH OTHER BUT FOR EACH OTHER...
Edited by manzilmukul - 10 years ago

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EXOL

@EXOL

IF-Stunnerz

+ 7

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: ..PT..
@m nice post!
@neil, n m
Dabh is a complicated show, requires lots of complex thinking n mature understanding n sacrifices (our time), u can't just watch one epi n decide!

I bet by the time agent Zakir finishes, u wld have become dabh fans!

we r viewers of the show "Gulaal"...nothing can be more complex,layered n complicated than that..so may be thats why i was unable to relate but i will wait to see if it will impress me or not

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952985

Inactive

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: manzilmukul
@PT
Thanks for the response.
I understand what you are saying but honestly
1.If my Husband is wearing a Bharatnatyam dress and tries to dance one fine day..I will not say I love your original self in pant shirt..I will say how lovely you look in this and wow KUDOS TO YOU FOR STARTING SOMETHING NEW !!Clothes are nothing but like the bark of a tree Shedding with seasons..but what matters is your heart ...LIKE THE ROOTS OF THE TREE WHICH STAYS FIRM.
2. Suraj Sacrifice -Yea I AGREE Sacrifice is the CRUX of his CHARACTER...But for me as Ramayana and other EPICS do say.."To bear Anayaya in the name of SACRIFICE AND RESPECT is A CRIME in ITSELF.."
Please do not COMPARE him to Shravan Kumar..I agree he SACRIFICED but Sharavan Kumar a SUPPORT to his parents who were in need.Here I don't see him even Standing in front of his MOTHER to tell her she is WRONG...
Sandhya I agree she is a PREY to circumstances but SORRY TO SAY if she is not happy about her achievement then her DUTY DONE WITHOUT HEART IS FUTILE-"Jinka lakshya nahi jivan mein woh aise reh jatey hain jaise Lakhon dheron patte Pani mein beh jatey hain..."

@Suraj Sandhya Relationship..I AGREE ABOUT SACRIFICE... being the BEAUTY of their RELATIONSHIP...But
What is SACRIFICE if it teaches you nothing but being MEEK..
What is the purpose of SACRIFICE if it Doesn't teach you SELF -RESPECT...

@Women trying to balance home and outside..
my questions in General
Why is it Always the RESPONSIBILITY of a WOMAN to manage BOTH FAMILY AND OUTSIDE..If Men WORK outside DO they care to look back ?
What is The message of propagation ?
A women has to be a SUPERWOMAN TO HANDLE EVERYTHING ??WHY BURDEN HER ?? Why SHOULD she be expected to MANAGE EVERYTHING ??

Well I ma not saying all this because it's a show..but because my own life experiences...

Hey, r u suraj?!!!😆

Our suraj is a shy, sensitive, gentle soul!

No actually, he is saying whatever she does, becomes, he will always love her as his wife, n in her IPS uniform she commands respect!

N iam not comparing him to sravan Kumar. The cvs do. Ever 50 epis, babho will say u r my sravan Kumar n will keep brain washing him n tie him up with the ropes of love and duty, guilt

Yes, sacrifice making them meek, be patient,.. Cvs r getting to that, she will break away the shackles of all these things n come out strong!

If she already everything, where is the growth of the character, what will be there to see or watch?

Women, home, work,

Exactly, that's what dabh is also saying. Why this disparity? They r telling a big story to get there!

The cake is just being made now, its all flour n eggs n butter, is in the process of being baked!

Wait for the finished product!

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