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Culaccino ~ An ArHi SS | Ch 3 Pg 45 Note Pg 58 (4/4/14) (Page 36)

kushi.raizada Senior Member
kushi.raizada
kushi.raizada

Joined: 31 October 2013
Posts: 978

Posted: 27 January 2014 at 7:27am | IP Logged
Arnav's pain s heart wrenching..well written..loved it

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FieryPhoenix

archana.mh17 IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 10 July 2009
Posts: 3834

Posted: 27 January 2014 at 8:38am | IP Logged
You know, I feel its too premature to give an opinion of the story-its building well, though & its becoming interesting!
BUT, BUT, BUT, you should take a bow for having the courage to write a version of Khushi who isn't perfect, & who CAN make & HAS made mistakes! I like your Arnav, too-he's vulnerable, just like any normal guy in his position would be! Right from GHD, now, to this, I can tell you that your biggest strength remains how you have your characters rooted to the reality!


Edited by archana.mh17 - 27 January 2014 at 8:36am

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FieryPhoenix

-HEAVEN- IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 06 December 2012
Posts: 7060

Posted: 28 January 2014 at 4:00am | IP Logged
i have only one line to say...OMG!!!!!!!!!
i m loving this ss...u r brilliant!Clap

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FieryPhoenix

FieryPhoenix Goldie
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Joined: 26 May 2013
Posts: 1254

Posted: 31 January 2014 at 2:39pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Crazy4Sobti

Chapter 1

First things first, loved the newspaper clippings; they were nice accent to the update.   

I could see the continuity in the intensity of the story from the prologue and how it escalated through the chapter.

Keeping aside the fact that Khushi cheated on Arnav, it is clearly evident that Khushi loves Arnav unconditionally and she is the one who brought stability in his life. She also in her own way filled in the void left my Arnav's mother in his as well as his dad's life.

Khushi and Devendra's, father and daughter relationship was heartwarming. The fact that he readily accepted her, made her his daughter, let her see the vulnerable side of their lives and not resenting or hating Khushi for her mistake, shows how learned, mature and sensitive this man is. Looks like he forgave his own wife for her mistakes and here Khushi is like his daughter so it's not surprising that he still cares for Khushi. I think he will be the catalyst between Arnav and Khushi.

Khushi wants to make up things normal and get her love and life back. But her methods are wrong here. By making chai, pokaras and chattering like nothing happened makes her look insensitive towards the hurt, pain and humiliated she inflicted to Arnav.

Arnav is in a rock and hard place. It's hard to see someone you love with all your heart in pain; no matter how much they hurt you. Yet, it's easy to forgive someone whom you trusted more yourself and lay your heart open to them.

As much as cringe that Khushi is the one who cheated here, I am really intrigued to see how you take this forward, because too much has been damaged here and at the moment, anger, pain, humiliation and guilt are roaring clouding love. 

You have managed to capture all the characters and the dynamics of their relationship with others really well and I am glad that you were able to gather all of this from the first chapter itself...makes me feel like they werent completely off the mark! :p :D

Originally posted by Crazy4Sobti

Chapter 2

 "Culaccino" it's too deep to be forgotten and too dark to be ignored, especially that ones that are make in our hearts. Here it's not the question of Arnav forgiving Khushi, it's about reviving the love they shared, re-cementing the trust they had and bringing normalcy back in their lives. Because if Arnav decides to forgive Khushi and give her a chance and put the past behind , there will be many situations and moments where the ugly past will rise and open the wounds again.

Arnav is in a very miserable situation. There is his mother who abandoned him and then there is Khushi whom he trusted like himself and she shattered everything they had in a moment. It's unbelievably painful if the one you love most is the one who hurts you the most. It's impossible to love and hate the same person.

Khushi's thoughts are in the right direction. She needs to do this for Arnav, not for her. She was selfish once and now if really needs to redeem their relationship she needs make herself a last priority.

I really wish these two could take a break and not live in the same house and think through everything. Get away from every madness!!

It was heartrending to see Arnav so broken and looking up to Khushi for some sort of support and insight. 

 

The bold part is what is the best part about this comment. Forgiveness can amount to something only if it stands the test of time, isnt it? And thats the challenge here for both Arnav and Khushi and yes, maybe it would have been better had they not been living under the same roof but then again would that have led to a permanent breakdown of things because of a lack of necessity to face things is something that could very well be possible...

Thanks so much for your such amazingly profound and reflective feedback! :D


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Crazy4Sobtijduke

FieryPhoenix Goldie
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Posted: 31 January 2014 at 2:40pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ssyahoo

Res

Edit

Arnav's inner turmoil and pain is heart wrenching. He's truly shattered by Khushi's action and we can see that Khushi is ever remorseful. I can't help but wonder if three more to this story on Khushi's end. Khushi and Arnav have an intense bond, one that has been there since be was 8. But I guess we will find out more about their history in later chapters :) I'm curious indeed!



At least they are talking about the situation like mature adults. Also, I am pleased that Khushi is not forcing Arnav. She is laying out the facts and giving him his space to make his own decision, mentally preparing for both possibilities.

If he gives her that chance she will give her 150% I know, but that kind of deceit is just shattering. Wonderful depiction of emotions and eagerly awaiting next chapter :)

Thanks so much for the feedback! :D

And keep reading to get the answers to all your questions! :)

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Crazy4Sobtissyahoo

FieryPhoenix Goldie
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Posts: 1254

Posted: 31 January 2014 at 2:41pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by moomin4455

Arnav's pain and confusion, Khushi's contrition and desperation for forgiveness are so palpable.
I am glad that Khushi took a step back and advised him as a friend. At the end of it all Arnav has to do what's right for himself and no one else, whether that's giving them a chance or admitting that he can never trust her again...

Wonderful chapter!

Thanks so much for the feedback! :D
FieryPhoenix Goldie
FieryPhoenix
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Joined: 26 May 2013
Posts: 1254

Posted: 31 January 2014 at 2:48pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by jduke

Cool. Hope Arnav accepted her proposal. What kind of lies he or she came across and that made Kushi to cheat on Arnav in whatever way?.  Who is the culprit?. Is Shyam part of this story? :) This plot is very interesting and intriguing.

Why assume that there was some lie in place that 'made' Khushi cheat on Arnav? Maybe there was, maybe there wasnt but in either case does it take away from the fact that she DID cheat on Arnav?

And about Shyam being a part of this story...jab bhi kuch gadbad hoti hai log automatically bechaare Shyam ko kyon khojne lagte hain? LOL! :D

Thanks for your feedback though :)
FieryPhoenix Goldie
FieryPhoenix
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Joined: 26 May 2013
Posts: 1254

Posted: 31 January 2014 at 2:49pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by roma_khanam

Bequtifully written. Thanks for the pm

Thanks! :D

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