FF: Intezar ke Pal-Kuch Kathe Kuch Meethe Not - Pg 76 Jul 3rd - Page 11

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Part 3 A Mother, by any other name...

"Babua, toliya wahin sanka devi ki chudiyon ke istand ke pass hai." 

It had been more than two years since Khusi and Payaliya had been wed and left for Shantivan, but this room was still their's in buaji's mind, as were the things they left behind in it, which she lovingly dusted and looked after.

"Yeah! Buaji," came the ringing response from the tiny bathroom in Khushi's erstwhile room in Gupta house.  The splash of cold water on his face felt like a blessing against his skin.  Arnav shook his head scattering the droplets of water that clung to his forelocks as he strolled over to the window, oblivious to the glazed over expression on the faces of a trio of teen girls who had just happenend to glance from across the street.  What did he know of several such minor heart-breaks he caused by just being'?

At the moment, the poster on the wall had claimed his undivided attention.  "What the...?  " he grinned walking over to examine in close quarters the poster of Salmaan Khan. He recalled his reaction the first time he had spied a cutout picture of Khushi in the palanquin that Salman carried.  But now, it had his face plastered over Salman's.  "When had this happened? How had he missed seeing this?" He wondered with a doting smile that warmed the cockles of Madhumati's heart as she paused briefly at the doorway, before bustling in with her characteristic energy.

"Hai re Nandkisore!  Ee Sanka devi aur uski harkaten, baghwan jaane kal ke din bacchon ko kaise sambaalegi?" she exclaimed shaking her head and handed Arnav his cup of tea with the special smile she reserved for him. 

Arnav had driven buaji home after Aanya's first birthday party celebrations while Akash had accompanied Garimaji and Sashiji to the clinic for Shashiji's follow-up visit and the rest of the family had disbanded to Shantivan.  "I hope Khushi is resting up and not rushing about" he brooded silently, sipping his tea. 

The frown on his handsome brow had not escaped Buaji.  How wrong she had been in her evaluation of him in the past.  She cringed, everytime she remembered how she had compared him unfavorable with that cad Shyam.  Thanks to her Lord Nand Kisore, who had in his own divine way brought about events that revealed the multi-hued persona that made up this young man, she had grown to love him with each revelation. The shrewd, aloof and cold-hearted boss, the loving brother, a man head-over-heels in love; a man who was tortured by his past, and yet gracious enough to look beyond that and embrace a future that included the woman who was the cause of his parent's death, embrace this middle-class family whole-heartedly; a man who was right now agonizing over the well-being of his wife and their unborn progeny. 

For a while they spoke about what a great party it was, and how quickly Aanya had turned one, how fast the year had gone by and all the life changing events that had occurred in their lives including Anjali finding her happiness.  Soon, the conversation fizzled out with Arnav lapsing into one of his brooding silences.  There was something that was eating away at his insides.  He had concealed it from his family and Khushi, but here in the warmth of Buaji's presence and the homely atmosphere of Gupta house, his feelings were clamoring for release.  He just did not know how and where to begin.

Deciding it was time she prodded her silent damaad into airing his thoughts, Madhumati laid a gentle hand on his forearm and began, " Ka baat hai babua?  Kusi ko lekar pareshan ho?"

Arnav's head snapped up and he nodded.  "Haan Buaji!  As her due date gets closer, mere dil mein ek darr sa phelne laga hai.  Do dinon mein uska weekly check up hai, aur I dread to go.  Pata nahin iss baar kaunsi nayi baat sunn ne ko milega."  He paused to put away his cup and raising tortured eyes to the motherly face he blurted out in agonized submission,"I should have never gone ahead with her wishes.  Ab sirf aur sirf meri waje se Khushi ko itni takleef ho rahi hai, aur uski jaan bhi jokhum mein hain."  Clasping buaji's hands in a rare display of emotion, he continued,"Mein sirf usse takleef hi deta hoon.  Aisa kyon hai buaji?"

"Aise himmat na haro babua.  Sambhalo apne aap ko.  Maa ban na har ladki ka sapna hovat hai.  Yeh baat mujse accha kaun pehchan sakat hai."  Squishing the sharp pang of of self-pity in her heart, she continued, "Khushi ko mein acchi tarah se jaanti hoon.  Bachpan se uska ek hi kwayish tha ki use uski sapnon ka Rajkumar miljaye aur unke ghar mein dedh saare bacche hon, taaki who apni sanak jaari rakhe.  Bas.  Aur Jitna takleef tum sochte ho ki tum ne usse diya hai, usse kaheen zyada Khushiya bhi titaliya ki zindagi mein tum ne bhar diya hai babua.  Tum to titaliya ki dil ki dhadkan ho.  Tumhare bina to uski jaise koi baat hi nahin banti." 

Madhumati's eyes scanned his face searching for evidence of his as yet unspoken fear, "Par tumhari pareshani ka karan sirf yeh baat naahin ho sakat?  Apna dil halka karlo.   Batao asli baat ka hai?"

Arnav rose to pace the floor suddenly hating the confines of the room.  He had to let what was bothering him out before the dread consumed him.  With a sigh he spun around, his hands struck in his pocket, his shoulders squaring up defensively.  "Asal mein buaji, mein darta hoon.  Darta hoon apne khoon se.  Mere ragon mein mere dad ka khoon hain.  Who dad jiss se mein nafrat karta hoon, jisne mere maa ko maar dala ta, do maasoom auraton ko dokhe mein rakha.  Usske dictionary mein pyaar shabd shayad kabhi mayine hi nahin rakta tha.  Aur such to ye hai ki Khushi se milne se pehele, mere dictionary mein bhi uss word ka koi value nahin tha.  Kahin mere bacche agar aise hogaye to?  Darr ta hoon iss baat se mein."

He came to kneel in front of buaji.  Madhumati's heart melted at the sight of his tortured expression. Where the world saw the mighty ASR, she saw a young man lost in the woods of despair.  Weighing her words carefully and deciding that the best way was to appeal to his sense of logic, she proceeded "Babua, aise kaheen cheezen hain jo apne haaton mein nahin hovat hain, par unhe sahin anjaam dena to zaroor humra hi bas ki baat hai.  Tumhare bapuji se to hum kabhi nahin mile, par tumhe, tumhe hum acchi tarah se jaante hai aur samajte hain.  Tum bhi unhi ke bete ho.  Isske bavajood, tumne apni ki zindagi ko jis tareeke se sambala hain, kaise apne baapuji ke se saaye se hatkar khud ka wajood khaayam kiya hai, use dekhkar mein kahsakti hoon ki tum sat parishad ek number one papa banoge.  Agar tumhari amma aaj hoti to unhe bada garv hota tumpar. 

Tumhare bacchon ke ragon mein tumhare baapuji ka khoon kyon na ho, latchan to tumhare hi rahenge.  Kyon ki tum unhe aise parvarish hi doge.  Tumhare bachhe to tumhare tarah khud ke taqdeer likhenge.  Yeh Madhumati ka dava hain, Nand Kisore!"

Arnav dropped his head in buaji's lap overwhelmed with the unconditional love and unmistakable ring of pride he heard in her words as he whispered "Thank you Buaji."    

Madhumati's heart welled up as did her eyes.  She stroked the bent head in her lap and mutely thanked her Lord. "Hai re Nandkisore! Tumhara leela apaar hai.  Mere liye Arnav babua ko damaad ke roop mein naahin, balki bte ke roop me bej diya."

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"Babua, you will find the towel by sanka devi's bangle stand."   It had been more than two years since Khusi and Payaliya had been wed and left for Shantivan, but this room was still their's in buaji's mind, as were the things they left behind in it, which she lovingly dusted and looked after.

"Yeah! Buaji," came the ringing response from the tiny bathroom in Khushi's erstwhile room in Gupta house.  The splash of cold water on his face felt like a blessing against his skin.  Arnav shook his head scattering the droplets of water that clung to his forelocks as he strolled over to the window, oblivious to the glazed over expression on the faces of a trio of teen girls who had just happenend to glance from across the street.  What did he know of several such minor heart-breaks he caused by just being'?

At the moment, the poster on the wall had claimed his undivided attention.  "What the...?  " he grinned walking over to examine in close quarters the poster of Salmaan Khan. He recalled his reaction the first time he had spied a cutout picture of Khushi in the palanquin that Salman carried.  But now, it had his face plastered over Salman's.  "When had this happened? How had he missed seeing this?" He wondered with a doting smile that warmed the cockles of Madhumati's heart as she paused briefly at the doorway, before bustling in with her characteristic energy.

"Hai re Nandkisore!  This Sanka devi and her childish antics.  I wonder how in the wide world will she ever manage her children!" she exclaimed shaking her head and handed Arnav his cup of tea with the special smile she reserved for him. 

Arnav had driven buaji home after Aanya's first birthday party celebrations while Akash had accompanied Garimaji and Sashiji to the clinic for Shashiji's follow-up visit and the rest of the family had disbanded to Shantivan.  "I hope Khushi is resting up and not rushing about" he brooded silently, sipping his tea. 

The frown on his handsome brow had not escaped Buaji's eagle eyes.  How wrong she had been in her evaluation of him in the past.  She cringed, everytime she remembered how she had compared him unfavorable with that cad Shyam.  Thanks to her Lord Nand Kisore, who had in his own divine way brought about events that revealed the multi-hued persona that made up this young man, she had grown to love him with each revelation. The shrewd, aloof and cold-hearted boss, the loving brother, a man head-over-heels in love; a man who was tortured by his past, and yet gracious enough to look beyond that and embrace a future that included the woman who was the cause of his parent's death, embrace this middle-class family whole-heartedly; a man who was right now agonizing over the well-being of his wife and their unborn progeny. 

For a while they spoke about what a great party it was, and how quickly Aanya had grown, how fast the year had gone by and all the life changing events that had occurred in their lives including Anjali finding her happiness.  Soon, the conversation fizzled out with Arnav lapsing into one of his brooding silences.  There was something that was eating away at his insides.  He had concealed it from his family and Khushi, but here in the warmth of Buaji's presence and the homely atmosphere of Gupta house, his feelings were clamoring for release.  He just did not know how and where to begin.

Deciding it was time she prodded her silent damaad into airing his thoughts, Madhumati laid a gentle hand on his forearm and began, " What's eating you son?  Is it Kusi that you are worried about?"

Arnav's head snapped up and he nodded.  "Yes Buaji!  As her due date gets closer, fear grips my heart.  Her next weekly check up is due in two days, and I dread to go.  I dread that I may hear yet another concern."  He paused to put away his cup and raising tortured eyes to the motherly face he blurted out in agonized submission,"I should have never gone ahead with her wishes.  It's solely because of my inability to stand my ground that she is undergoing so much trouble."  Clasping buaji's hands in a rare display of emotion, he continued,"Why is it buaji, that I seem to lead her on a thorny road, when all I want is to strew petals in her path?"

"Hush my dear.  Do not be harsh on yourself.  Motherhood is every woman's dream.  Take my word on it, I should know."  Squishing the sharp pang of self-pity in her heart, she continued, "As for Khushi, I know her very well.  For as long as I can remember, she has dreamt of being married to the prince of her dreams and having a house full of children so she can keep up her goofy capers.  For all your talk of filling grief in her life, you have enriched hers with immeasurable love and happiness.  I have forgotten how titaliya was prior to you entering her life.  You have become her life-blood and your name has come to be her very heart-beat." 

Madhumati's eyes scanned his face searching for evidence of his as yet unspoken fear, "But, this is not the only thing you are worried about.  Is it?  There is something more deep rooted than this.   What is it my son?"

Arnav rose to pace the floor suddenly hating the confines of the room.  He had to let what was bothering him out before the dread consumed him.  With a sigh he spun around, his hands struck in his pocket, his shoulders squaring up defensively.  "The truth buaji, is that I am scared.  I am scared of my own blood.  My dad's blood runs in my veins.  A dad I despise and unlike whom I have strived all my life to be . A dad who is the cause of my mother's death, one who cold-heartedly deceived two innocent women.  He did not know the meaning of love.  But I fear that probably I was not as different from him, cause prior to Khushi the word love did not exist in my dictionary either.  Can the apple fall far from the apple tree?  What if my children turn out to be like him?  I am terrified of the very thought."

He came to kneel in front of buaji.  Madhumati's heart melted at the sight of his tortured expression. Where the world saw the mighty ASR, she saw a young man lost in the woods of despair.  Weighing her words carefully and deciding that the best way was to appeal to his sense of logic, she proceeded "Babua(Son), there are innumerable things in this universe whose existence or occurrence are beyond your circle of control.  However, molding them and reshaping them to give them an identity of your choice is very much in your hands. I have never met your father, so my opinion of him is based on hearsay.  On the other hand not only do I know you, I understand you very well.  You are his son and as you said his blood runs in your veins.  But look what you have done with your life.  You have stepped out of his shadow and sculpted an illustrious identity for yourself.  If your mother were alive, she would be proud of the man you are today.  I am a hundred percent certain that your kids despite having your dad's tainted blood in their veins, will take after you, for you'll  guide them and empower them to carve their own destiny just like you did.  Mark my words Nand Kisore, you'll make a wonderful father."

Arnav dropped his head in buaji's lap overwhelmed with the unconditional love and unmistakable ring of pride he heard in her words as he whispered "Thank you Buaji."    Madhumati's heart welled up as did her eyes.  She stroked the bent head in her lap and mutely thanked her Lord, "Hai re Nandkisore! Your grace is beyond compare.  You've sent my way a son, in the guise of a son-in-law."

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