Part 9
Havelock
~ Lyrics of the album Counting Stars by OneRepublic
"Iss bhar sab theek kardena Devimayya, hum aap se bheek maangte hain". Khushi heard her own prayers echo in her mind. It was mid afternoon in early November, and she felt surrounded in a blue, blue world, except for the streaming white foam left in the wake of their private motor boat that was speeding Arnavji and her towards Havelock from Port Blair, where they had landed that morning. She idly wondered if it was the ocean that reflected the skies with the cresting white waves mimicking the white streaks of the clouds or the other way around.
Despite predictions of rain and monsoon, the sky was a beautiful shade of crystal blue upto the point where it met the Ocean. Thereafter, the shades of the water changed with every surge; deep blue, to cobalt blue at its deepest, to aqua, to sea green, and to cerulean blues. She tasted the crisp saltiness of the ocean air as it caressed her cheeks and teased her silky straight hair into textured waves. The shades of the ocean calmed and soothed her soul for the moment even as she sensed in the depths of her heart that perhaps this was the calm before the storm. Automatically her gaze shifted to the man next to her.
Arnav pushed aside the dupatta that had an uncanny knack of fluttering onto his face, and surveyed her expression for an instant before mouthing "Khushi, you ok? Tum theek ho? Land hote hi tum resort chale jana to rest, I'll wrap up my business as soon as possible and join you. If everything goes well we'll be home tomorrow morning for Diwali."
Khushi smiled, nodding her head and shifted her gaze back to the now fast approaching shore line, while her fingers curled around her Arnavji's arm.
************
"What the... ! Tum mujhe ghar pe kyon layeho? Muje to AR Resorts jaana ta?" Arnav thundered at the chauffeur who had pulled up into the driveway of a breathtaking seaside mansion and had opened the door for Mr. ASR to alight.
"Sir, just following orders Sir. " The man stuttered, clearly out of his depth.
"Nice! Actually tum se nahin, I need to ask this of ..." Arnav muttered, hitting Aman's number while holding out his free hand in a habitual motion to assist Khushi.
"Aman, Yeh driver mujhe bunglow pe kyon laya hai? I thought I was going to be briefed at AR Resorts by my realtor. Phir what is this?"
"ASR, Mwaaf keejiye, aap aisa keejiye, aap doorbell ring kariye, shaayad who pahlese hi bunglow pe pahunch gayi hogi. I am sure it was all well managed, sir. Jinhon ne mujhe brief kiya ta, who ek perfectionist hai sir. Woh sara intezaam kardiye honge sir."
"Sir. Yes sir. Ofcourse, ASR, I'll await your call. Thank you, sir." And the line went dead.
After the driver left them with a smart salute, Arnav quickly related the pithy exchange between Aman and him to Khushi, hefted their overnite bag, and made his way up the natural stone steps towards the covered front porch.
He rang the bell multiple times to no avail. Biting off a succinct curse that crept up his tongue he reached into his pocket for his cell, when Khushi gently pushed at the door. It instantly yielded open under her hand. Arnav grabbed her wrist before she toppled in. With an astonished look; they crossed over the threshold and stepped into the house together and promptly lost their hearts at the sight that met their eyes.
The house was of a beautiful, breezy, open floor plan and right from the threshold where they stood, they could see past the open great room through the floor to ceiling glass, the sprawling backyard and their own stretch of private beach beyond, where the mighty ocean heaved its frothy tides relentlessly. Khushi gasped at the sight and with a tight squeeze of Arnav's arm rushed through to fling the French windows open. She twirled in joy with her arms outstretched, the minute her feet touched the bleached wood flooring of the patio.
"Wah Arnavji, yeh ghar kitna sundar hai. Par yahan par to koi bhi nahin hai!"
She returned back to stand by him as his gaze scanned the house and the visible loft for any human presence.
"How odd? Muje aisa kyon lag raha hai ki it's a set up..." he pondered out aloud, as he walked slowly around looking for some explanation in the vacant great room. Presently they were jostled out of their thoughts by a strange new ringtone. A little bit of looking around led them to an ipad propped on a nearby mahogany side table.
Arnav's brow cleared as he hit on the truth just as he swiped his long lean finger across the screen to take the call. Looking squarely at the image of his brother that formed on screen, he said, "Aakaash! This better be good. I am convinced now. Yeh sab ek set up hai. What's the big idea?"
"Ee big idea ma, hum bhi Aakash ke saat hai chote" said Naani emerging to the right of Akash
"Aur humahu saat ma hain Nand Kisore!"
"Buaji, aap? Kya baat hain? Kis baat mein saat ho?" questioned Khushi emerging at Arnav's side and looked on wide eyed at the trio of faces staring right back at them on facetime.
"Ah haan, Kushi. Tumhare saat rahke, tumhara sanak hume bhi lag gaya hai" sang out Payal happily joining the club.
Arnav sighed as he settled into the oversized wicker chair and prepared to listen to what his meddlesome family was upto now.
"Bhai, The house is yours. Title transfer pichle hafte ko hi hogaya ta. I am sorry mujhe aap ko trick karna pada. I just want... I mean hum sab chahte hain ki aap aur bhaabi aapas mein sab kuch sort out karle. That's it. Payal, mein, Buaji, Naaniji hum sab ko humara Bhai aur Khushi Bhabhi wapas chahiye, with the smiles and laughter and challenges and standoffs and word battles, et all. Bas"
"Arnavji, hum jaante hain, ki aapko thodasa akela pan chahiye, taki aap apne dil ka uljhan sulja sakhe. Aur Khushi ko apni uljhan suljhane ke liye apni dil ki baat bayaan karna zaroori hai. Isliye humne aap dono ko akele, par ek doosre ke saat, chodne ka rasta dhoondliya."
"Chote, Kusi bitiya, ab agar wapas ayiyega to pahele jaise humri potha aur Kusi bitiya banke wapas ayiye. Hum kahe derahe hain" stated Naani categorically
"Humra babua aur titaliya jaldi hi laut ayenge Nand Kisore! Aap dekhiye, hum such kahat rahen. Kyon Arnav babua, ka kahat ho?" buaji said in a persuasive tone, her eyes trained hopefully on Arnav.
"Ji buaji" muttered Arnav. He could not find it within him to douse the faith in her eyes.
The screen went blank and they sat rooted to their seats for several moments simply looking at it and then at each other. The rhythmic sound of the tireless waves resonated in the back ground as the seconds stretched into minutes until, Khushi broke their eye lock and looking away said, "Yeh Ghar bahut hi sundar hai Arnavji. Kitne paude hain. Zaroor iske wajah se hi aapne pasand kiya hoga, hain na?"
She rose and paced nervously towards the windows as she spoke.
" Nahin. Actually, jab mein yahan aya ta, it was nighttime. Aur beachside pe taare bade hi clear nazar aathe hain. I thought of you and the next thing you know..." he said, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocked slightly back on his heels.
Khushi stopped midstride and turned around with an "oh!"
"Achha! Jo bhi ho, aapka nirnay sahi ta. "
"Hume badi bhook lagrahi hai, kya hai kitchen mein hum dekhte hai." she said, hurrying towards the kitchen and poked around the shelves.
"Devimayya, yehan hum soch rahe te ki hum bade chaalaki se apne mann ki baat chupa rahe te, par sare pariwar walon ko humari aur Arnavji ke beech ka tanav ka andaaza hai." she said, gesticulating to the pots and pans on the shelves.
She set the can of flour on the counter and the pan on the stove. With an exasperated sigh, she pushed her wayward locks behind her ear and bent down to look for Sugar and oil in the shelves below the counter.
Muttering aloud"Aur ek humari Laad Governor hai, jinhe kuch soojta hi nahin", she grabbed the sugar and was about to straighten when her head came into contact with a warm firm palm followed by a -
"Watch it Khushi..."
Khushi found herself looking into mildly upset yet slightly amused brown eyes that belonged to the man who had just saved her from a nasty bump against the counter.
Smiling uncertainly at him she stood up and set the jar of sugar on the counter. Something about the concern in those eyes had her insides squirming and churned tears in her eyes.
"What's the matter Khushi. Tumhe laga to nahin?"
"Nahin Arnavji. Hamesha ki tarah aap te hume sambhalne ke liye" and she choked on a sob.
"Then what's the matter?"
"Woh, ghar mein tel nahin hain. Tel ke bina hum jalebi kaise banayenge." She sniffled.
"Is that all? Let me just stroll out and see. I am sure yehan par kirana shops honge..."
And he started out, only to be stopped by
"Nahin rahne deejiye Arnavji. Ek din Jalebi nahin khayenge to asman nahin thootega. Ye zaroori nahin hain, ki hamesha jo hum chahte hain, who hume miljaye."
Arnav whirled around, and gawked at her crestfallen expression.
"This is not about the tel or whatever, is it Khushi?" He hissed, his own temper and frustration surfacing.
"Aapko kya lagta hain, Arnavji? Aapne suna nahin pariwar wale kya kahrahe the. Unhe humare tanav ka ehsaas hai. Who hume leke pareshaan hain. Who humse kuch chaah te hai."
"So! What do you expect? Har cheez unke kahne yah chahne pe nahin ho sakta Khushi." He thundered, turning his back to her lest she see the confusion in his eyes. He hated this ambivalence, and could not let anyone, not even her, see it.
"Aur agar hum bhi yehi chathe hain, to..."
She paused. The tension in his stance told her he was listening although he was motionless.
"Arnavji, hum bhi yehi chahte hain. Hum chahte hain ki humari beech ka tanaav khatam ho. Jo bhi hua, use bhool kar hum aage bade. Hum phir se khoshish Karen... humare pyaare se bacche ho aur..."
"Enough Khushi!" He whirled and closed the gap between them in a trice. Gripping her arms he drew her closer and rasped out in a tortured tone, "How can you say that? Mujhe abhi bhi yaad hai, tumhara chehra jab... tumhara kya haal hua when you lost the..."
"I can't do it again Khushi. It's barely been a month. I cannot risk you again. Chahe saara Pariwar mujse disappointed ho, tum disappointed ho, phir bhi nahin. Mein phirse tumhe dukhi nahin dekh sakta Khushi"
"Ab kya hum aap ko bahut Khush lag rahe hain Arnav ji?"
"Humare aankhon mein dekh ke jawaab deejiye", she said turning him to face her when he turned away.
"Na hum khush hain na aap. Hume nahin pata ki iss bhaar kya hoga. Par hume itna zaroor pata hain ki hum is tarah se to nahin jee sakte. Hume ek bhaar phirse khoshish to karni chahiye. " she pleaded, the tears shimmering on her lashes.
"I was reluctant to risk it the first time itself just because Tum underweight thi. Tum ne kya kuch nahi try kiya tha muje manane ke liye, including throwing away my condoms and enlisting the elders. It was an accident..."
"Nahin Arnavji, who accident nahin, humara sowbhagya aur devimayya ka ashirwad ta. Aur hume bharosa hai Devimayya pe. Who sab theek kardengi iss baar." Implored Khushi reaching out to stroke his cheek.
"Khushi it was an accident, let's face it. Par I was thrilled, I'll not lie. That part was not an accident. Lekin akhir mein kya hua? Common sense and science ruled. Your body was not ready for the baby, aur mein kuch nahin kar saka. Agar iss baar tumhe kuch hogaya to. Mein Di ki halat dekh chuka hoon, jab final stages mein unhone apna bachha khoya ta. Mein phir se ye chance nahin le sakta Khushi."
Tears poured down her cheek. She bit back a sob and plodded on. She could not give up now, not when she was this close, "Dekiye Arnavji, ab to humara vazan bhi theek hai, aur hum shareerik aur dimagi ore se tayyar bhi hai, to ek baar, sirf ek baar haan kahdeejiye."
"Khushi..." The word tore out of his throat like an anguished cry, as he cupped her face between his palms equally beseeching her with his eyes; willing her to understand his fears and torments, before he dropped his hands to his sides and looked away.
When he turned to face her this time, his face was unyielding "Khushi, if this is your resolution, I am afraid, I have no satisfactory answer for you right now. I am sorry, I need to be alone, muje tode der akela chod do." he said in a low voice and turning on his heels, strode out of the kitchen.
He needed to get away, clear his head and think. He did not want to be cluttered by her tears or her hopeful eyes.
"Damn it!" he swore at the mental vision of those limpid pools staring at her with such shining optimism and love. He tossed his tie on the couch and loosened the buttons on his shirt as he strode out of the house impatiently.
************
Arnav had spent the better part of the afternoon walking around the town and had returned home barely an hour back. He found Khushi fast asleep on the couch. He looked fondly at the candles she had set out on the porch. "Even in her current state she had not forgotten that it was the eve of Diwali" he mused.
He had showered and changed and yet she had not stirred. Bending down, he lightly kissed her brow, before heading out to the patio to watch the seas.
Arnav was a man of mercurial mood swings and he was at ease with the fact. It was part of who he was and naturally he never thought twice about it. It had never mattered, at least not until he had fallen hard for Khushi and she had tamed the wild in him so to speak. She was the safe harbor and yet, ironically she had always been the one to whip up a storm within him. She forced him to face the depths of his fears and anxieties, posed questions he did not wish to answer and challenged him with her vulnerable, but candid doe eyes, till he could run but not hide from his own self.
Had he not experienced this angst when he denied his growing attraction and love for her? "You'd think I would have learnt something from it" he thought wryly with a mocking snigger directed at himself.
The ocean seemed to mirror his moods tonight. The clear blues of the morning had given way to a stormy gun metal grey, that shimmered bronze and gold where the setting sun touched it. The winds had picked up and were whipping the swaying coconut trees into a frenzy. The waves that crashed on the shores had turned faster and furious than ever before; the calmness of the morn was replaced with an edginess that reflected his very emotions. He felt one with the Universe in the moment and strangely enough, that simple realization clarified his feelings and thoughts.
Khushi stood a mere twenty steps behind him and watched alike her man of stormy moods and the tempestuous ocean beyond. She had woken up seconds after he had stepped out onto the patio. Every cell in her body sprang to life at his mere presence, how could she not know that he was back? She knew he was fighting hard to accept what his heart already wanted, and she loved him even more for it, for she knew that it was concern for her that tortured him.
As if in response to her thoughts, Arnav turned around and faced her. The wind whipped the thin material of her saree that fluttered around her ankles before billowing and clinging to her slim form that he already knew intimately and fanned her tresses around a face that seemed to be made of the most delicate china. Her eyes looked troubled. His heart constricted before beating painfully in his chest and a warm flush spread from the pit of his stomach to envelope his being. How could he deny her anything? How could something that made him feel so alive be so wrong?
He wanted so badly to reach out and stroke her cheek, touch her hair, that he crossed them against his chest instead. It would be a mistake. One touch and there would be no looking back.
Thunder clouds and deep thick fog began to roll over the ocean and on to the beach behind him as he moved in a trance towards her.
"Lagta hain Toofan aaraha hai", she muttered unable to tear away her eyes from his countenance. He looks so vulnerable. How can I demand something from him, that seems to all but kill him?" she pondered.
"Haan, andar chalo varna tum bheeg jaogi"
"A-arr-nav-ji aap agar sat ho to muje toofanon se bilkul bhi darr nahin..." she responded fully aware that she spoke of a very different storm.
"Be practical Khushi. You are asking me to risk every happiness in my life, my very life because I will cease to exist if anything happens to you. Tum mujse meri zindagi maang rahi ho. Jaanti ho?" He was barely a foot away from her and she could feel his anguish as sharply as if it were her own. Her resolve almost crumbled at the tortured look in his golden eyes.
Reaching out to caress his cheek, she drew closer, her lips a hair's breadth away from his. "Hum jaante hain ki hum aapki zindagi hain, aur hum iski suraksha mein koi kasar nahin chodenge. Aur Arnavji, sab se zyada, khud se zyada, devimayya se bhi zyada, hume aap pe vishvas hain. Aap hume kuch hone hi nahin denge. Par aap kya chahte hain?" She asked her eyes shining with unshed tears.
A shuddering sigh escaped his lips. How could he fight against such unshakeable faith, such yielding tenderness? "Khushi, you are killing me! Mein tumhe khush dekhna chata hoon. Even if it kills me, I swear I'll give you what you want" he exclaimed, before drawing her close in the tight coil of his arms and crushed his lips against hers, bowing down to the simple conquering love and faith this woman bestowed on him.
Their lips met just as the wind howled and the raging surf crashed against the shore and thunder rumbled in, opening the flood gates of heaven. Khushi was oblivious to all of this. She felt not the chilling rain, but the raging fire blazing in her veins. He heard not the rumble of thunder but the pounding of the blood in his head. Sheets of rain and mist curtained them from the external world as she surrendered to the temptation his tongue offered and melted under his burning touch.
And as he kissed her, he prayed for the first time in a long time, for strength and grace to grant her, her heart's desire and keep her safe at the same time.
Her head spun with the sheer velocity of her desire. His volatile mood coupled with weeks of abstinence served to intensify every touch, every sigh and moan. With every touch she was surer that this was the night. It was meant to be. As his lips and fingers sought, she gave, and knew in her heart that the storm that had begun would whip them up in its frenzy. When it abated, they would be spent but gloriously so, and revel in their rediscovery of each other.
At last the stony barriers between them had vanished as if they were walls of sand washed away by the salty ocean waves.
********************************************
Dear Readers,
I hope all of you had a wonderful Ugadi/Yugadi/Gudipadwa/Tamil new year/Baisakhi and Vishu. My belated wishes to all of you and hope this year fills your lives with happiness peace and prosperity.
A Quick Recap : Akash, payal, Naani and Buaji have astutely observed the persistent tension and unhappiness that hangs as a cloud on their beloved Arnav and Khushi's marital relationship and have hatched a plan that would force them to face off in lovely Havelock islands.
Now read on to see what happens on Havelock.
This one is rather long. Do hit like and leave your comments. 🤗
Intezar ke Pal Kuch Khathe, Kuch Meethe
Disclaimer: These pictures have been procured from public internet sources and have been used merely for illustrative purposes. I do not own any rights to these.
Note: Do not copy. My works are copyright protected.
Part 9
Havelock
Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep,
Dreaming about the things that we could be.
But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars,
We'll be counting stars, yeah we'll be counting stars -------
------I feel something so right,
Doing the wrong thing.
I feel something so wrong,
Doing the right thing.
I could lie, could lie, could lie,
Everything that kills me, makes me feel alive!
~ Lyrics of the album Counting Stars by OneRepublic
"Please, Devimayya, make everything right this time around. I beg you". Khushi heard her own prayers echo in her mind. It was mid afternoon in early November, and she felt surrounded in a blue, blue world, except for the streaming white foam left in the wake of their private motor boat that was speeding Arnavji and her towards Havelock from Port Blair, where they had landed that morning. She idly wondered if it was the ocean that reflected the skies with the cresting white waves mimicking the white streaks of the clouds or the other way around.
Despite predictions of rain and monsoon, the sky was a beautiful shade of crystal blue upto the point where it met the Ocean. Thereafter, the shades of the water changed with every surge; deep blue, to cobalt blue at its deepest, to aqua, to sea green, and to cerulean blues. She tasted the crisp saltiness of the ocean air as it caressed her cheeks and teased her silky straight hair into textured waves. The shades of the ocean calmed and soothed her soul for the moment even as she sensed in the depths of her heart that perhaps this was the calm before the storm. Automatically her gaze shifted to the man next to her.
Arnav pushed aside the dupatta that had an uncanny knack of fluttering onto his face, and surveyed her expression for an instant before mouthing "Khushi, you ok? As soon as we land, head over to the resorts and relax. I'll wrap up my business as soon as possible and join you. If everything goes well we'll be home tomorrow morning for Diwali."
Khushi smiled, nodding her head and shifted her gaze back to the now fast approaching shore line, while her fingers curled around her Arnavji's arm.
************
"What the... ! Why have you brought us to the bunglow? I thought I was expected at AR Resorts?" Arnav thundered at the chauffeur who had pulled up into the driveway of a breathtaking seaside mansion and had opened the door for Mr. ASR to alight.
"Sir, just following orders Sir. " The man stuttered, clearly out of his depth.
"Nice! Actually this isn't a question for you but for ..." Arnav muttered, hitting Aman's number while holding out his free hand in a habitual motion to assist Khushi.
"Aman, Why has the driver brought me to the bungalow? I thought I was going to be briefed at AR Resorts by my realtor. What the hell is happening?"
"ASR, pardon me. I am sure the realtor has already reached. It's quite possible she is inside the house. There should be no confusion. I was briefed by a man famed to be a perfectionist and I am sure he has made all the right arrangements sir. May I suggest that you ring the doorbell and check?"
"Sir. Yes sir. Of course, ASR, I'll await your call. Thank you, sir." And the line went dead.
After the driver left them with a smart salute, Arnav quickly related the pithy exchange between Aman and him to Khushi, hefted their overnite bag, and made his way up the natural stone steps towards the covered front porch.
He rang the bell multiple times to no avail. Biting off a succinct curse that crept up his tongue he reached into his pocket for his cell, when Khushi gently pushed at the door. It instantly yielded open under her hand. Arnav grabbed her wrist before she toppled in.
With an astonished look; they crossed over the threshold and stepped into the house together and promptly lost their hearts at the sight that met their eyes.
The house was of a beautiful, breezy, open floor plan and right from the threshold where they stood, they could see past the open great room through the floor to ceiling glass, the sprawling backyard and their own stretch of private beach beyond, where the mighty ocean heaved its frothy tides relentlessly.
Khushi gasped at the sight and with a tight squeeze of Arnav's arm rushed through to fling the French windows open. She twirled in joy with her arms outstretched, the minute her feet touched the bleached wood flooring of the patio.
"This is a marvelous house Arnavji. But there seems to be no one in here!"
She returned back to stand by him as his gaze scanned the house and the visible loft for any human presence.
"How odd? Why do I feel like I have been set up?" he pondered out aloud, as he walked slowly around looking for some explanation in the vacant great room. Presently they were jostled out of their thoughts by a strange new ringtone. A little bit of looking around led them to an iPad propped on a nearby mahogany side table.
Arnav's brow cleared as he hit on the truth just as he swiped his long lean finger across the screen to take the call. Looking squarely at the image of his brother that formed on screen, he said, "Aakaash! This better be good. I am convinced now. This is definitely a set up. What's the big idea?"
"I am an integral part of this big idea in cohorts with Akash, chote" said Naani emerging to the right of Akash
"As am I Nand Kisore!"
"Buaji, You? How come? A part of what?" questioned Khushi emerging at Arnav's side and looked on wide eyed at the trio of faces staring right back at them on Facetime.
"Ah haan, Kushi. Some of your drama has rubbed off on me, thanks to our lifelong association" sang out Payal happily joining the club.
Arnav sighed as he settled into the over sized wicker chair and prepared to listen to what his meddlesome family was up to now.
"Bhai, The house is yours. The title was transferred to your name last week. I am sorry I had to trick you in this manner. I just want... I mean we all want you and bhabhi to sort things out between the two of you. That's it. Payal and I, Buaji and Naaniji, we all would like you and Khushi bhabhi back in your usual mode, with the smiles and laughter and challenges and standoffs and word battles, et all. That's all there is to it."
"Arnavji, I know you need solitude to resolve your thoughts and Khushi needs to air her thoughts to resolve her confusion, so we decided to leave you both alone, but in each other's company. Far from our maddening presence, I hope you are able to rediscover yourselves."
"Chote, Kusi bitiya, I suggest you only entertain the thought of returning back only if you have resolved all your mutual issues, or else..." stated Naani categorically
"My Arnav babuwa and Titaliya are bound to return quickly Nand Kisore! Just you wait and watch naaniji. What do you say Arnav babuwa?" buaji said in a persuasive tone, her eyes trained hopefully on Arnav.
"Ofcourse buaji" muttered Arnav. He could not find it within him to douse the faith in her eyes.
The screen went blank and they sat rooted to their seats for several moments simply looking at it and then at each other. The rhythmic sound of the tireless waves resonated in the back ground as the seconds stretched into minutes until, Khushi broke their eye lock and looking away said, "It's indeed abeautiful house Arnavji. Look at the greenery all around. I am confident that it was the main attraction for you. Wasn't it?"
She rose and paced nervously towards the windows as she spoke.
"No. Actually I first saw this place at night and immediately noticed how enormous the stars looked by the beach side and I thought of you and how much you would love the sight of it. And the next thing you know..." he said, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocked slightly back on his heels.
Khushi stopped midstride and turned around with an "oh!"
"Really! Whatever the reason, I am glad you decided to buy it. "
"I am starving. I am going to check what's available in the kitchen." she said abruptly, hurrying towards the kitchen and began poking around the shelves.
"Devimayya, Here I was under the false belief that I have been successfully masking the unease between Arnavji and me from the family, while they have been fully aware of everything." she said, gesticulating to the pots and pans on the shelves.
She set the can of flour on the counter and the pan on the stove. With an exasperated sigh, she pushed her wayward locks behind her ear and bent down to look for Sugar and oil in the shelves below the counter.
Muttering aloud"And then ofcourse is my laad governor who seems to be the least concerned with this unnerving fact that everyone knows", she grabbed the sugar and was about to straighten when her head came into contact with a warm firm palm followed by a -
"Watch it Khushi..."
Khushi found herself looking into mildly upset yet slightly amused brown eyes that belonged to the man who had just saved her from a nasty bump against the counter.
Smiling uncertainly at him she stood up and set the jar of sugar on the counter. Something about the concern in those eyes had her insides squirming and churned tears in her eyes.
"What's the matter Khushi. Are you hurt?"
"No Arnavji. Saved by you, as always" and she choked on a sob.
"Then what's the matter?"
"Oh! it's just that there is no oil in this house. How in the wide world can I make any jalebi's with out oil to fry them in?" She sniffled.
"Is that all? Let me just stroll out and see. I am sure this place has some grocery stores nearby..."
And he started out, only to be stopped by Khushi calling out to him.
"That's alright, let it be Arnavji. I am sure I will not die if I do not eat Jalebis for a day. It's not like one gets everything that one desires."
Arnav whirled around, and gawked at her crestfallen expression.
"This is not about the oil or whatever, is it Khushi?" He hissed, his own temper and frustration surfacing.
"What do you think, Arnavji? Did you not hear what Naaniji, buaji and the rest were saying? Does it not matter to you that they were able to perceive that all was not well with us? They are worried about us. They tricked us into being here together to accomplish a purpose."
"So! What do you expect? I do not need to do things just because they wished for it or hoped for it Khushi." He thundered, turning his back to her lest she see the confusion in his eyes. He hated this ambivalence, and could not let anyone, not even her, see it.
"And what if it was what I wanted too Arnavji?"
She paused. The tension in his stance told her he was listening although he was motionless.
"Arnavji, I too wish for what they wish. I wish we end this uneasy calm between us and confront what each of us really wants. I wish we speak our mind and hear each other out. I wish that we would try again... That we have sweet little babies and..."
"Enough Khushi!" He whirled and closed the gap between them in a trice. Gripping her arms he drew her closer and rasped out in a tortured tone, "How can you say that? I still remember how you looked the night you... I cannot forget the trauma and shock you endured when you lost..."
"I can't do it again Khushi. It's barely been a month. I cannot risk you again, even if it means that I disappoint my family and you. I cannot bear to see you grieve like you did Khushi"
"And do I seem like I am very happy right now Arnav ji?"
"Look at me please, and say it to my face", she said turning him to face her when he turned away.
"Neither I nor you are happy the way we are right now. I have no idea how things would turn out this time around if we let ourselves try, but I am sure that I can no longer endure living the way we have been for the past month. We gotta give it another shot", she pleaded, the tears shimmering on her lashes.
"I was reluctant to risk it the first time itself just because you were underweight, but this time around the odds are higher. I had resisted your hare brained schemes, including your attempts at having the elders pressurize me. It was an accident a fluke..."
"No Arnavji, it was not an accident but a blessing. I have faith that Devimayya will make everything right this time." Implored Khushi reaching out to stroke his cheek.
"Khushi it was an accident, let's face it. but, I was thrilled, I'll not lie. That part was not an accident. In the end though, didn't common sense and science rule? Your body was not ready for the baby, and there wasn't a frikking thing I could do to prevent our loss. If anything where to happen to you again... I have seen Di go through hell when she lost her child in her final month, and you in your initial stage, I cannot endure it again. I cannot take another chance like that Khushi."
Tears poured down her cheek. She bit back a sob and plodded on. She could not give up now, not when she was this close, "Listen to me Arnavji, I am no longer underweight or anemic and am physically and mentally prepared for pregnancy this time around. Just once, this one time, say yes. Please."
"Khushi..." The word tore out of his throat like an anguished cry, as he cupped her face between his palms equally beseeching her with his eyes; willing her to understand his fears and torments, before he dropped his hands to his sides and looked away.
When he turned to face her this time, his face was unyielding "Khushi, if this is your resolution, I am afraid, I have no satisfactory answer for you right now. I am sorry, I need to be alone for a while." he said in a low voice and turning on his heels, strode out of the kitchen.
He needed to get away, clear his head and think. He did not want to be cluttered by her tears or her hopeful eyes.
"Damn it!" he swore at the mental vision of those limpid pools staring at him with such shining optimism and love. He tossed his tie on the couch and loosened the buttons on his shirt as he strode out of the house impatiently.
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Arnav had spent the better part of the afternoon walking around the town and had returned home barely an hour back. He found Khushi fast asleep on the couch. He looked fondly at the candles she had set out on the porch. "Even in her current state she had not forgotten that it was the eve of Diwali" he mused.
He had showered and changed and yet she had not stirred. Bending down, he lightly kissed her brow, before heading out to the patio to watch the seas.
Arnav was a man of mercurial mood swings and he was at ease with the fact. It was part of who he was and naturally he never thought twice about it. It had never mattered, at least not until he had fallen hard for Khushi and she had tamed the wild in him so to speak. She was the safe harbor and yet, ironically she had always been the one to whip up a storm within him. She forced him to face the depths of his fears and anxieties, posed questions he did not wish to answer and challenged him with her vulnerable, but candid doe eyes, till he could run but not hide from his own self.
Had he not experienced this angst when he denied his growing attraction and love for her? "You'd think I would have learnt something from it" he thought wryly with a mocking snigger directed at himself.
The ocean seemed to mirror his moods tonight. The clear blues of the morning had given way to a stormy gun metal grey, that shimmered bronze and gold where the setting sun touched it. The winds had picked up and were whipping the swaying coconut trees into a frenzy. The waves that crashed on the shores had turned faster and furious than before; the calmness of the morn replaced with an edginess that reflected his very emotions. He felt one with the Universe in the moment and strangely enough, that simple realization clarified his feelings and thoughts.
Khushi stood a mere twenty steps behind him and watched alike the man of stormy moods and the tempestuous ocean beyond. She had woken up seconds after he had stepped out onto the patio. Every cell in her body sprang to life at his mere presence, how could she not know that he was back? She knew he was fighting hard to accept what his heart already wanted, and she loved him even more for it, for she knew that it was concern for her that tortured him.
As if in response to her thoughts, Arnav turned around and faced her. The wind whipped the thin material of her saree that fluttered around her ankles before billowing and clinging to her slim form that he already knew intimately and fanned her tresses around a face that seemed to be made of the most delicate china. Her eyes looked troubled. His heart constricted before beating painfully in his chest and a warm flush spread from the pit of his stomach to envelope his being. How could he deny her anything? How could something that made him feel so alive be so wrong?
He wanted so badly to reach out and stroke her cheek, touch her hair, that he crossed them against his chest instead. It would be a mistake. One touch and there would be no looking back.
Thunder clouds and deep thick fog began to roll over the ocean and on to the beach behind him as he moved in a trance towards her.
"It seems like a storm is brewing", she muttered unable to tear away her eyes from his countenance. He looks so vulnerable. How can I demand something from him, that seems to all but kill him?" she pondered.
"Indeed, get indoors or you will be soaking wet"
"A-arr-nav-ji if you are by my side, I have no fear of storms..." she responded fully aware that she spoke of a very different storm.
"Be practical Khushi. You are asking me to risk every happiness in my life, my very life because I will cease to exist if anything happens to you. You are asking me to put my life on the line." He was barely a foot away from her and she could feel his anguish as sharply as if it were her own. Her resolve almost crumbled at the tortured look in his golden eyes.
Reaching out to caress his cheek, she drew closer, her lips a hair's breadth away from his. "I know I am your life and I will guard it well for your sake. More importantly, I trust you more than I do myself or devimayya, to protect me. The real question is what do you want? Can you honestly look me in the eye and say that you do not want to give it a go for my sake?" She asked, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
A shuddering sigh escaped his lips. How could he fight against such unshakeable faith, such yielding tenderness? "Khushi, you are killing me! You know I cannot deny you happiness, even if it kills me. I swear I'll give you what you want" he exclaimed, before drawing her close in the tight coil of his arms and crushed his lips against hers, bowing down to the simple conquering love and faith this woman bestowed on him.
Their lips met just as the wind howled and the raging surf crashed against the shore and thunder rumbled in, opening the flood gates of heaven. Khushi was oblivious to all of this. She felt not the chilling rain, but the raging fire blazing in her veins. He heard not the rumble of thunder but the pounding of the blood in his head.
Sheets of rain and mist curtained them from the external world as she surrendered to the temptation his tongue offered and melted under his burning touch. And as he kissed her, he prayed for the first time in a long time, for strength and grace to grant her, her heart's desire and keep her safe at the same time.
Her head spun with the sheer velocity of her desire. His volatile mood coupled with weeks of abstinence served to intensify every touch, every sigh and moan. With every touch she was surer that this was the night. It was meant to be. As his lips and fingers sought, she gave, and knew in her heart that the storm that had begun would whip them up in its frenzy. When it abated, they would be spent, but gloriously so, and revel in their rediscovery of each other.
At last the stony barriers between them had vanished as if they were walls of sand washed away by the salty ocean waves.
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