Chapter I: Annihilation
"Margaret Hale is a sanctimonious brat and
John Thornton is an ass." Khushi cradled her cell phone between her neck and
shoulder as her hands worked on the dough. She rolled her eyes when she heard
the shrill on the other end of the phone wishing she could simply drop the
phone as the shrill bit into her ears.
"Did you read the novel already?" Khushi's
hands stilled at the question.
"No…but Payal-"
"How many chapters have you read then?"
Payal demanded.
"Well…about twenty chapters or so but-"
"Then we aren't discussing North and South
anymore. Seriously Khushi, you should first read the novel completely before
passing on judgments without knowing the content in its entirety." Payal's
words rolled easily in her ears and she tried to reason with her sister.
"Okay fine!" Khushi replied waspishly. Khushi
wasn't familiar to the world of classical literature. During one of their calls
when both avoided talking about the current issues their family faced, Payal
randomly started to talk about classics. After three days of Payal's continual
insistence, Khushi had picked up North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell to break
her literature celibacy.
Their conversations had become superficial
after Payal's wedding and they both had an unspoken agreement about leaving the
problems of real life alone. Or at least that's what Khushi was intending to
do. She believed it was unfair to bring about distressing news during the
initial days of married life of her sister.
"How is everyone?" Payal asked softly.
Khushi sighed deeply without offering an immediate reply. She could feel her
mother's eyes hovering towards the kitchen making Khushi skittish to stand
there and talk to Payal freely.
"Everyone is fine Payal. You should stop
worrying about things here and concentrate on knowing and adjusting with your
new family." Khushi forced cheerfulness in her voice and repeated the words she
had said many times before. She could hear Payal taking in a battered breath.
"The price of new will be paid by the blood
of old, is it not?" Her voice was shaky.
Khushi flailed her arms after washing them
thoroughly and wiped it easily on her kurta
uncaring about the blobby trail it left on lime green cotton.
"I am so looking forward for moving out of
this damn dusty place." Khushi grumbled. Before Payal had a chance to respond,
she piled on. "It's not like Delhi isn't as polluted as here but still it's the
national capital and all, you know? Hey, did you know Delhi has a museum
dedicated only to toilets? Weird, isn't it? I can understand the train museum
but one for toilet is pushing a bit far isn't it? And that pillar-" One of
Khushi's arm massaged her shoulder and neck joint having been resting her
cellphone for a while there. She started
her rant to stop talking about their permanent relocation to her aunt's house
in Delhi. It had come as a surprise but was an inevitable decision.
"Slow down a little, Khushi," Payal
interjected Khushi's monologue understanding what her younger sister was doing.
When Khushi didn't immediately reply, she continued. "Are you excited about
going to Delhi?" She asked softly.
"Payal, watching a bacteria reproduce would
be exciting than an evening in this dull town's main street," Khushi grumbled
earning a laughter from her older sister. She was lying and Payal knew it but
Khushi was glad when Payal didn't contest her exaggerated lie.
"I will have to go in couple of minutes. We
are expecting some guests." Payal said softly. Khushi's heart gave a sharp twinge
at Payal's use of 'we'. It was a perfectly placed word used to denote oneself
and others specifically which didn't include her.
Payal was married for only three weeks and
Khushi was dissecting pronouns used by her sister and grieving over her
absence. They had done everything together all their lives and suddenly that
blanket of familiarity was yanked below her feet. There were several times
since Payal's marriage she had forgotten the absence of her sister and simply
called her out asking if she wanted something from market. The resonating
silence made her chest ache.
"Okay." Khushi replied. Her feet were
pacing non-stop as the jitteriness she had felt from before was returning to
her tenfold. Payal was a huge calming factor on her life and the rational and
calming stop to her irrational train of thoughts and panic attacks. With her
gone, coping with normalcy was becoming a huge challenge.
"I will try to come and meet you before you
leave," Payal said in a small voice. "But you know how he gets…" Payal managed
to convey that the deciding factor in her life now was her new husband. Khushi
felt bitterness flooding her mouth.
"Okay." Khushi stuck to monosyllables. There
were also familial complications in that said arrangement as Payal's new family
were still harboring mild distaste towards the incidents which happened during
wedding.
"Don't skip pages and read the last
chapter, okay?" Payal admonished gently.
Khushi's snort was unladylike. "I am sure
the brat and the ass will get together in the end after a lame misunderstanding
and thirty pages of pining for each other." Khushi replied flippantly. She
could practically hear Payal grin on the other end of the phone.
However when she spoke, all traces of humor
was gone from her voice. "Sometimes we don't look for life's milestones the protagonists
achieve but the way they deal with circumstances presented to them and with
that the changes which come up on them making them evolve to be better people
for their family and their society."
Khushi's eyes travelled at that very moment
to the living room where the creditors were getting signatures from her father.
They were taking away the house as a payment to the debt which her father
Shashi Gupta was unable to repay – the debt the family incurred during Payal's
wedding.
Khushi swallowed a lump in her throat and
maintained her signature high voltage carefree voice. "I know Margaret Hale
will start appreciating her life in Milton. I know there are solid reasons
behind John Thornton's actions. I know. I know Payal. I know how it works. I
know how we wish life work." She
repeated drawing in comfort from fictional character's ability to adapt and
evolve during course of time. "In
stories like these the characters evolve into an elevated state of mind where they
find contentment and peace by the end of journey. The nostalgia of the past is
taken as a lesson well learned while dreams of future are architectural blue
prints of the destined legacy. However in real life, people simply…give up."
There was an odd catch in Khushi's voice when she saw her mother wipe her eyes
as the creditors took back the signed document from her father's hand.
"Khushi…I am sorry but I have to go. He is calling me." Payal said hurriedly.
Khushi didn't know if she had heard the last part or not and for her sake, she
hoped Payal was distracted enough through her monologue depicting her bleary point
of view.
"Everything is going to be fine Payal."
Khushi said with strange sense of detachment encompassing her as the home she
grew up in was already alienating her.
Her cellphone fell from her hands and only
then she allowed the distress of her mind and nerves to take control of her as
she succumbed to another panic attack.
The startled cry of her mother was a distant
buzz and she wantonly embraced the approaching darkness.
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