Arhi OneShot |Bedside Manners| - Page 7

Nafisa, I'll be very honest here. Edited by vgedin - 10 years ago

Originally posted by: vgedin

Nafisa, I'll be very honest here.

This was delightful, yes. But it really needed to fleshed out. Felt too rushed at many points. Arnav's character shone out quite well, but with Khushi, there were many gaps that most of us will fill in borrowing from stereotypes. Thats quite un-Nafisa, no ? 

Otherwise the story was very cute, and a college going ArHi was a treat :) Perhaps a little insight into the background would have been nice. 

I am taking the liberty to be very honest here, Nafi, please don't take offense :) 

Originally posted by: AngelTeen

Can I disagree as a fellow reader? :)

I think this story was essentially Arnav's. Khushi was the one being addressed here...hence, for me, I felt no incongruency and found it quite natural that Arnav's character was more fleshed out than Khushi's. 

No offence though, just an opinion. :)

Originally posted by: vgedin

None taken :) 

Arnav's character being more fleshed out in comparison to Khushi, I understand. But, I would have appreciated a little more insight into Khushi's even if it is through Arnav's eyes. Especially since this is AU, and I make no prior assumptions about either of them. Again, this is also just an opinion :) 

A complete peach of a story.

Finally found this! YAY!

Ha, ha! That was absolutely delightful, DE. Khsihi's incredulity and Arnav's devlishness are so endearing!

Loved this OS, hope we are going to get more of these delightful bites into Arnav and Khushi's story.😃 Edited by Japonica - 10 years ago

So cute and romantic. =)
i really enjoyed reading it. Witty yet endearing dialogues.

'...' these were funny. :D

and best part was the obvious kiss. :D

*walks away to nurse her jaw* 😆

You do have some plans up your sleeve, don't you? Regarding permanently damaging my jaw? 

And I fall for it every single time!!!

Gosh! How do you do it??

What I feel about this this OS must be amply clear by now, being the bright and smart girl you are. But in case you are flustered after reading ten pages of comments (which, I know even without reading, must be wonderful) or going through a very occasional phase of being thick, or clueless...let me tell you - this was SUPER AWESOME! 🤗

I ask, no, I demand that you write more in this manner! 😉

By the wayy...why did you put those dots in the end? Just before Arnav's last dialogue? :P :P Nafi, tell naaa...*nudges Nafi* Bataoo naa! What was exactly happening there? Ab bata bhi do! 😆 😈

For me, the highlight was how you did manage to present before us a picture of what they were doing, how they were behaving without letting go even the tiniest of actions - how Arnav covered his eyes with his arm to pretend that he was sleeping, how he held her back by her wrist, how Khushi started hitting him because he taunted her about her being jealous, how she wouldn't look him in the eye after he confessed how he could be himself with her...all this and so much more while maintaining the format of the dialogues with perfection. There was nothing that was abrupt or out of place anywhere. 

I really, really loved this! 😃


*pens down 'Bedside Manners by Nafisa' in her favourites* 😉