A/N: All flashbacks are in Italics.
This one is for Lazyleaves, who sang her way to this dedication.
Chapter Seven
Arnav sat down
heavily on the recliner, one of the books still clutched in his hands.
He couldn't take his
eyes from it, as all the implications slowly dawned on
his disbelieving mind.
He still couldn't
completely believe it.
He looked down again.
Was he mistaken?
No, he wasn't . There
could be no doubt that this was exactly what he thought it was.
So what was the meaning of all this?
This could change
everything.
Everything.
It was obvious to him
now that Khushi had been hiding another secret that he had been unaware of.
One she had been hiding before they ever got
married.
How had he not seen the signs?
He knew the answer to
that, of course.
He might have
suspected something if only he had been with her.
Over the last seven
days, he had made it a point to spend as little time with her as possible.
Of course, he had his
own reasons for doing so, and the tense situation at work had provided an
acceptable excuse..
He couldn't be with her, and not touch
her.
He couldn't stay near her, and not give
in to the feelings he tried hard to suppress.
And so he had chosen
the easy way out by avoiding her at work, and staying away from her at
Shantivan.
Although easy wasn't a good term for what he was
going through..
The nights were the
worst, though.
There was a pattern
he followed every night, one that was unknown to her..
He waited until he
was sure that she was asleep, and listened to the even rhythm of her breathing
before turning towards her.
And then he spent
hours gazing at her calm, peaceful countenance, although he knew that it
actually hid a deep level of turmoil within..
The sparkle of tears through the glass
that separated them..an unspoken plea, an unheard reply..
As he stared at her,
he allowed himself to slip into a land of fantasy where there were no
deceptions, no lies, and no secrets. He gave himself permission to dream about
her as she had existed in his imaginings..
When his eyes finally
drifted shut, her face was the last thing he saw.
But when morning came
around, the bright rays of sunlight wouldn't allow him to deceive himself any
longer. He would remember everything that had happened, and the pain of
betrayal would force him to leave his bed before she awoke.
At A.R, it was easier
to avoid her, because his meetings never included her anyway. But he still knew
exactly where she was, every minute of every day. Several times, he had stood
in his office upstairs and watched her leave with the driver, her gaze turning
towards the office again and again as if she was waiting for him..
He had to force
himself to turn away then, but ignoring the appeal in those eyes was getting
more and more difficult.
In fact, this whole
situation was driving him crazy.
He didn't even know
what he felt for her anymore.
Anger and hatred were
his ever-present companions, and frustration at this charade was eating away at
his equilibrium.
And now, there was
this latest discovery.
He looked down at the
book again, and tried to imagine just what had gone through her mind when she
had done this.
There was an obvious
answer, of course.
But he wouldn't allow
himself to believe in that, not just yet.
Because if he did, he
would open himself up to the probability of more pain, and more heartache..
But he had know why
she had done this.
The easiest way would
be to ask her, of course.
But would she tell
him the truth?
And even if she did,
would he able to believe her?
No, he couldn't ask
her about this.
It would probably be
better if she didn't even know that he had seen these..
He gathered the books together and placed them back on the shelf
before closing the wardrobe .
Even though he turned
away immediately, the memory of what he had just seen wouldn't leave him, and
he walked out to the pool to try and think this through.
Why was it important for him to know
the reason behind this latest lie?
In all his life,he
had never been less than honest with himself.
And now, that honesty
compelled him to admit that it was important because..he still cared.
He still cared for Khushi Kumari Gupta.
He whirled around,
and looked around for something..anything..
His eyes fell on the
pitcher of water sitting on the table.
He picked it up ,
and stared at it for a moment.
And then he smashed
it against the wall, the tiny, sparkling fragments giving mute testimony to his
frustration.
What the hell was wrong with him?
How could he still care for someone who
had betrayed him?
But his conscience
wasn't done yet.
It brutally reminded
him that he had probably never stopped caring for her.
His family, Di's
pregnancy, A.R, her Buaji..all these were mere excuses.
He had forced her to
remain married to him because he hadn't been able to face the alternative.
He hadn't been able to let her go.
He swiped his hands
through his hair, his mind and heart warring within him.
So that was the
truth.
He had done all this
just so that he could keep her with him.
His honesty with
himself now compelled him to demand the same from her in return.
He had every right to
know why she had done this.
He had every right to
know the truth behind what he had just seen in the books.
And he wouldn't rest
until he had figured it out.
No matter what.
He felt that sense, that sensation that he always associated with her presence.
Taking a deep breath,
he turned to face her, but she wasn't
looking at him.
Her gaze was fixed on
the shards of glass at his feet, and she stared at them for a moment before
looking up at him.
They stared at each
other for a moment, until she finally looked away.
He didn't allow
himself to think twice about what he was going to do.
He went inside and
closed the sliding door behind him, then locked the main door for good measure.
She stared at him
with a question in her eyes, but she didn't say a word.
"Khushi, I need
to talk to you."
Now surprise replaced
the curiosity in her eyes, and he knew what she was thinking.
After days of
ignoring her and pretending she didn't exist, she was probably wondering why he
wanted to talk to her at all.
"About..about
what?"
"About..why
don't you sit down first?"
"Sit down? Why?
Hai Devi Maiyya, has something happened to Buaji?"
"What?! No! Of
course not. I just wanted to ask you something, and I just thought you would
want to..never mind. Just answer me now. And I would appreciate it if you would
be honest in your replies."
She looked away
immediately, and he winced at his choice of words.
But then she took a
deep breath and faced him again.
"I have no
reason to lie to you, Mr.Raizada. What do you want to know?"
Several questions
rushed through his mind, but he chose the one that bothered him the most.
"Why did you
marry me?"
"What?!
Her eyes widened in
shock, and her hand flew to her mangalsutra in an unconscious gesture that
wasn't lost on him.
"It's a simple
question, Khushi. Why did you marry me in the first place?"
"Why? I've
already told you why! I wanted to avenge my sister by taking away A.R, and you
provided the means for me to do so by giving me those shares in the
prenuptial.."
"But that's
exactly my point. I did not make the prenuptial agreement until a few days
before the wedding. You had already agreed to marry me by then, and you had no
way of knowing that I would give you those shares as a gift,so why did you come
here to accept my proposal?"
"I..I wanted
to..I mean, my intention was to try and destroy A.R as an insider.."
"How?"
"What?"
"How would you
have done that? How did you know that I would let my wife work in A.R at all?
Especially since I didn't even know that you were a business graduate? I might
have asked you to stay home as a housewife, and what would have happened to
your little plan then?"
"I..I
didn't.."
He took one step
towards her, and she took one back immediately.
"Why didn't you
stick to your original plan of buying out the minor stakeholders?"
Another step, and one
more back..
"Why did you
even consider a marriage of any kind to a man who had supposedly destroyed your
sister's life?"
He took one more step
towards her, and she took one back, but she was now backed up against the wall.
Her eyes were wider
than ever, and her breaths were rapid and uneven.
"Why did you let
that man touch you, kiss you..if you hated him for what he had done?"
He placed his hands
on either side of her, and leaned closer.
"Why, Khushi?
Answer me, dammit!"
She stared at him,
then shoved him away with a sudden move.
"I don't have to
answer any of your questions! I'm here only because of your threats , and
nothing else!"
"Really."
"Yes!"
"And you married
me only to take revenge."
"Yes, how many
times.."
"And you hate me
now, just like you always have."
"How difficult
is that for you to understand? Yes, I hate you, and I always.."
She stopped abruptly
as he turned around and walked to the wardrobe.
He heard her shocked
gasp as he pulled out the books, and held it out for her to see.
"Then what the
hell is this, Khushi Kumari Gupta?!"
She appeared to be
stunned for a moment, her gaze moving from the books to him, then back again.
"How did
you..when.."
"It doesn't
matter how and when I found this. What matters is why. Why have you done this?"
She stared at the
books, then seemed to pull herself together.
"It has nothing
to do with you."
"Really."
"Yes!"
"I don't believe
you."
"That isn't my
problem!"
"I think I might
know the secret behind this. Do you want me to tell you?"
"No! I mean..I
told you, it has nothing to do with you! I did it because..because.."
"Yes?"
She looked at the
books again, then back at him with panic in her eyes.
"I..because.. I
hate you!"
She whirled around
and ran to the door, unlocking it and running out before he could take a single
step.
It didn't matter.
Because he now knew
that no matter what she said, or did, hatred wasn't all that she felt for him.
The proof was in his
hands.
As he turned to place
the books back in the wardrobe, he did something he hadn't done for days.
Arnav Singh Raizada
looked up, and smiled.
An hour later, he
decided that he had given her enough time to compose herself, and went down in
search of her.
He looked through the
living areas, but she wasn't there.
He was just heading
towards Nani's room when he heard a voice from the kitchen.
What was all that
muttering?
He moved closer, and
now he could hear the words clearly.
"Who does he
think he is? Asking me all those questions in that accent like a..like a..Laad Governor! Yes, that's it! He's a
pompous, arrogant, hateful, Laad Governor, and I just hate.."
She stopped talking
abruptly as she saw him, and her cheeks turned pink with an embarrassment that
he hadn't seen in days..
But then his gaze
dropped to what was on the counter in front of her, and it was his turn to be
shocked by what he saw there.
"What is all
this?"
"They
are..jalebis, of course. Haven't you seen them before?"
"I know what
they are. But why are there so many? Are we having a party that no one told me
about?"
"No! There's no
party, it's just.."
"Why did you
make so many , then?"
"I..I made them
because..because..it has nothing to do with you!"
"I never said
that it had anything to do with me,Khushi."
Her lips parted as if
she was about to say something, but then she turned off the stove and walked
away briskly, throwing him an annoyed glance over her shoulder as she did so.
He just couldn't help
it.
He laughed out loud.
If this was hate, then he was all for it!
Khushi watched in
stunned silence as his face transformed with laughter.
And immediately, she
was once again reminded of those days in Lucknow when he had smiled,and laughed..
She was still
thinking about this as she prepared for bed that night, and was startled out of
her reverie when he suddenly spoke to her.
"What?"
"I was just
asking if there is one side of the bed which you prefer to sleep on.."
She just stared at
him blankly.
After one week of
acting as if she was invisible, why did he suddenly care about her comfort?
"Uh..no, there
isn't.."
"And do you want
the night-light on?"
"Yes, I
do.."
He turned the light
on, then got into his side of the bed.
"Good night,
Khushi."
She couldn't even
reply to that.
But as she pulled the
blanket over herself and settled in, Khushi knew a strange sensation was taking
over.
A sense of peace..
And she had no idea
why.
For the first time in
days, she fell asleep within minutes of lying down on the bed.
And so did he.
Two days later,
Khushi unstrapped her seat belt and leaned back against the headrest of the
plane.
Their flight to Hong
Kong had just taken off, and Arnav was busy in a discussion with NK.
The last two days had
been very busy at work, and she had barely managed to pack her clothes in time
for this flight.
This was the first
respite she had been given from the hectic pace of her life, and she closed her
eyes as she finally allowed herself to think about the two incidents that had
happened over the last two days..
Incidents that had
changed so much..that held so much meaning..
She walked towards her desk, her mind
still occupied with the events of last night.
What would she do if he questioned her
about those books again?
As she sat down on her chair, her eyes
fell on the object that lay on her desk.
She gasped as she realized what it was,
and who must have placed it there.
Why had he done this?
She had a suspicion , of course, but
she needed to know for sure.
She tried to see if she could meet him,
but he was tied up throughout the morning.
And when she finally saw him, the words
he spoke shocked her, and she forgot all about what she had been waiting to ask
him.
"Will you join me for lunch?"
"What?"
"I'm stepping out for lunch, and I
wanted to know if you would like to join me."
"But..I've already eaten.."
Was that disappointment in his eyes?
"Oh. That's fine, then. "
As he turned to leave, she suddenly
remembered what she had been about to ask him.
"Did you put this here?"
He looked down at her desk, then back
at her again.
"What?"
"I..just wanted to know if..you
brought this..for me.."
He stared at her for a long moment
before he finally answered.
"I don't know what you are talking
about."
He was gone before she could say
another word.
She spent the rest of the day staring
at her desk, and didn't know how she got any work done at all.
The other incident
had taken place last night, when she had gone out to the poolside, only to find
that she wasn't alone..
The cool breeze blew against her face
as she stared at the man who was treading water in the pool, his eyes
glittering as he stared at her.
She couldn't look away.
She didn't even want to.
They stared at each other, caught in a
timeless moment where no past,and no future existed.
The web that always seemed to be around
them was drawing them closer, and for just this moment, the thought of
resisting never entered their minds.
He was standing on the step inside the
pool now, and his gaze never wavered from hers.
And when he reached a hand out to her,
it seemed like the most natural thing in the world for her to take it.
She took one step into the cool water,
and then she hesitated.
"I..I don't know how to
swim.."
"It's okay. Trust me.."
And she realized with a start of
surprise, that she did trust him.
For this moment, at least.
She took the next step, and soon she
was standing beside him in the shallow end of the pool, the water lapping
against her waist as she stared up at him.
She had no idea why she was doing this.
She didn't allow herself to think about
it either.
All she knew was that she wanted to be
here, in his arms..
And when he leaned down to kiss her,
the thought of refusal didn't even cross her mind.
He pulled her closer with one hand at
the back of her head as he deepened the kiss, and she lost herself in the feel
and scent of him..
When he finally ended the kiss, she
opened her eyes slowly, trying to understand what was happening here.
But she had no time to wonder, because
he swung her up into his arms as he stepped out of the pool.
Her wet saree trailed behind them as he
entered the bedroom, and she clasped her hands around his bare, wet neck,
loving the feel of the smooth skin under her fingers.
He put her down gently, and she looked
up at him as he lowered his head again.
Suddenly, she was reminded of the last
time she had been this close to him.
His rejection, the pain..it all came
back to haunt her, and she abruptly pulled out of his arms.
"Khushi?"
She stared at him for a moment, then
turned and ran for the washroom, locking it behind her as she stood there
panting..
When she finally went back, he was already
in bed.
She knew he must be angry, and
disappointed..and she felt guilty about that..
And then she had seen what lay on her
pillow.
Tears had flooded her eyes, but she had
fallen asleep with a smile on her lips.
Khushi opened her
eyes to see that he was still talking to NK.
Arnav Singh Raizada.
Her husband.
The sensations of
last night were still fresh in her mind, but she had no clue about his
thoughts.
He had never talked
about what had happened, and had actually behaved as if nothing had taken place
between them at all.
Was he ever going to
speak about it?
But why did she have
to wait for him to?
She had given this a
lot of thought last night.
She still didn't know what was on his mind, and what he wanted out
of this marriage.
She didn't even know
what she felt for him..
But she did know one
thing for sure.
The past two days had
given her a small sliver of hope..a slight hint of possibility..
She had allowed herself to dream again.
Sh didn't even know
if those dreams had any basis in reality, but she knew that she wanted to
pursue them.
She owed it to herself,
and to him.
She had allowed anger
and resentment to rule her life for too long.
And recently,guilt
and hatred had joined that list as well.
But she wouldn't let
that continue.
Not anymore.
This wasn't the life
she wanted to lead..
She was going to try
and reach for her one chance at happiness, even if that was still a distant
mirage..
She knew that there
was a chance that she might end up getting hurt in the process.
But she didn't care.
She had nothing to
lose, after all.
And if she won, it would all be worth
it.
She held on to that
thought as she dressed for the evening at the hotel in Hong Kong.
This was a business
dinner with the investors, and he had already gone downstairs to meet them in
the restaurant.
She was supposed to
join them in a few minutes, and now, as she looked at herself in the mirror,
she wondered if she actually had the
courage to go through with this..
She took a deep
breath and stood up, knowing that she would have to call on all her reserves of
strength in order to do so..
As she left the
elevator, all she could think of was his reaction when he saw her this evening.
So far, he had only
ever seen her in traditional, Indian clothing, and this was the first time she
was wearing one of the dresses she had brought from New York .
A simple sheath dress
in red that fell just below her knees, it was one of her favorites, a gift from
a friend.
She had teamed it
with black heels, and she wore no jewellery apart from the engagement ring he
had given her.
She had almost taken
it off after wearing it, but then she had remembered the look in his eyes
last night..
What would he say when he saw her?
What would he do?
She knew that the
restaurant had a dance floor, as well.
Would he take her into his arms for a
dance?
A small part of her
mind screamed at her to stop building these fantasies, but she didn't pay any
attention to it.
She would go with the
flow, and see where it led.
A small smile played
on her lips as she entered the restaurant.
The hostess directed
her towards the table reserved for them, but when she reached it, he wasn't
there.
Where was he?
She couldn't wait
until he saw her..
Her eyes searched
through the crowd, and the smile fell off her lips as she saw him.
It was just as if her
fantasy had suddenly turned into a nightmare.
Because he was
already on the dance floor.
With a woman in his
arms, entwined in an intimate dance.
****************
PS: Three more
chapters to go!
New readers, please
add me to your buddy list for PMs of updates.
comment:
p_commentcount