Posted: 11 April 2012 at 7:38am | IP Logged
To me...Gauri is more real because I associate more with Gauri than with Anandi. and mind you, I am not a psychotic criminal...
I think given Gauri's situations..I would have reacted more like Gauri (maybe not screamed as much as she did...but that's it)...I would not go around with a married man...but if situations disclosed themselves this way----and if I were really so mad in love with someone--I would not care if he had a past with another woman. I would not care much about how much mahaan was his ex, and whether she felt victimized as a consequence of separation!!..I would simply not want her in my present life...irrespective of how mahaan she is, neither would I want people around me to sing praises of her great deeds. If I loved a guy so much, I would want his family to accept me...and even if I would not be screaming at them or challenging them like Gauri does,but atleast I would feel bitter in my heart towards them if they would not accept me.
As far as the title of "legal wife" is concerned ...I am not sure how would I react in Gauri's situation...but yeah if someone was so important, and so worth it in my opinion---the title of "wife" would not be more important than relation with him. For some weird reason--I don't even believe that getting some legal dwifey status is the most important achievement of a woman, and without that legal certification of relationship validity, she transforms into some unethical piece of shit.
Sans Gauri's screaming at all the people around her (may be I'd have screamed too if I were in her place...but perhaps not 10 out of 10 times...maybe 1 out of 10 times.)
When I see Gauri's situations...I feel very connected to her feelings, which I feel are quite natural, and could come to any woman I know. Though her screaming all the time seems unnatural...but I guess they have to show it to add some drama.
I don't think Gauri is an insult to womanhood...because I don't think I am insult to womanhood...because when I put myself in her situation..I find it completely natural to feel the same things like she feels...minus the drama.
On the other hand...I don't see myself feeling or behaving like Anandi anytime. Frankly I wouldn't give up my studies if I lhad the option to continue it...irrespective of an old woman nagging me in my childhood all the time, irrespective of anyone saying or doing anything...and no, brainwashing me was and never will be the easiest thing for anyone to do--even when I was twelve. I was quite a rebel as a teenager...and had my own mind even as a ten or twelve year old child.In adulthood, if I had a husband who treated me like trash...perhaps I'd make sure he feels ten times more trashed by me. I'd be more worried about getting proper alimony and moving on with my life...than strengthening ties further with his family...even if they were epitome of greatness.
Its not that I haven't seen women who have given up the will to make something of themselves...who have submitted themselves to the choices of their family. I see it happening all the time in my village, and even in certain Indian homes in USA...but I don't see them leading happy lives...I see them dissatisfied and bitter somewhere in their heart.
I am tired of the stereotype of ideal woman who is all submissive. Women can be happy and lead very good lives even if they are not submissive at all. Its about being true to your personality, unless you have a proven--criminal mindset; its about being what you are... than emulating somebody else' standard, stereotyped definitions of goodness.
Edited by hima_123 - 11 April 2012 at 7:44am