Chapter 3| I'm afraid i won't get out alive.
They say,
you never really realize the true worth of someone until they have left
your life completely, than only you come to understand their importance
and worth. Similar was the state of Arnav Singh Raizada, had someone
told him a week ago, he was about to loose a part of himself whilst
watching walking khushi walk away, he would have outright ridiculed the
mere thought of it but now standing enclosed within the shadows,his
wholes existence was put into question. Without her, it was like going
back into the past, loosing his mother and sister all over again. The
stars above taunted him for his loneliness, the moon sauntered his
devastation and the dark night foreshadowed his tomorrow without her.
releasing
deep withheld sigh of ignorance, he paced around the room relinquishing
his own fears, emotions and insecurities. Her demand was of the
simplest one's and somehow that had turned out to be the biggest hurdle
for him. She didn't ask for too much, but it was still hard to give her
what she needed because somewhere, he felt he was incapable of promising
her the stability she needed. All his life he ran away from attachments
and being tied down, not because someone didn't try but rather no one
really mattered enough that he would give up his fears and entrust them
in their hands until of course khushi. Despite his own lock down, she
had somehow made way in his every fiber of being and for some reason he
could not shake her off; or maybe he just didn't want too?
the
phone vibrated bringing him out of his thoughts, hurrying over, ''
anything ?'' he asked impatiently whilst the person on the end seemed to
have given him nothing he wanted to know, clenching his fists in anger,
arnav threw the phone on the bed.
regaining composure, he picked
up the phone again, '' find her? i don't care how long it takes, i want
to know where she is and that too right now!'' Arnav demanded with the
authority the Raizada name brought, '' she couldn't have disappeared
into thin air!'' growling and pacing were doing nothing to tame the fire
within, he was feeling as helpless as he had when he watched his mother
take away her own life in front of his innocent eyes. '' i said FIND
HER'' and with that, he switched off the phone. He had tried calling her
for countless days and hours but she never replied.
it had been a
week now and khushi's whereabouts had not been revealed, he was going
insane aching just for a glimpse of her. He tried to find out about her
from every last person she knew, but none could give him what he needed.
And to top it all, he knew, she was doing this on purpose. It brought a
angst that she was depriving him even though she had come to know, how
vital she had become to his being. He couldn't wait to get his hands on
her because after that he would never let her go, ever.
Past
ten, he winded up near the french windows again looking up at the sky,
silently unknown to his own thoughts,wishing and praying to heavens for
her. He just needed one more chance, it was true he had held himself
back, because she in a way scared him. She had the power to read him and
that was something he could not afford, vulnerability and him never
mixed, power was his calling. The need to have all within the clasp of
his own hands was right, with khushi it was all wrong and yet he knew in
his own heart, it was right, more right than any fear, distrust, anger,
anything and above it, she made it better somehow.
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'' thank you for letting me stay here'' khushi managed a smile, playing around with her fork
''your my daughter, you don't need to thank me'' her father said glancing upon his phone from time to time.
''well you know, just filling in the formalities'' sarcasm dripped from her voice
Mr
Gupta turned his attention to his only daughter, catching on from her
tone that something was amiss, '' you don't need to be formal with me,
you know that right?''
''do i ? '' pausing, she pushed back a strand of hair, '' dad how do i know that when i can count on you and when i can't''
''what kind of question is that? I am your father, you can always count on me''
with
a sarcastic smile, khushi pulled her chair back and got up, '' No dad, i
can't count on you because i don't know if your door will be open when i
need you. Till now it has always been closed. I have never been able to
see you in a father figure, because you never allowed me to be your
daughter. Ever since mom's death, you built up these walls that i have
never be able to tear them down'' grabbing her plate, she walked a few
steps before halting, '' so no dad, i don't know that i can count on
you'' walking out from the dinning room, she headed straight to the
guest room.
Spontaneous,
well she never considered herself a woman who
took risks, reason she needed everything to be planned or laid out
before so she knew awaited for her, the future made her afraid after
loosing her mother.So she was taking a big leap from the
woman who sworn off men after a egotistic Arnav Singh Raizada and his
demeaning ways of showing her just what a man was capable of, it given a
chance to play with your heart.
She had set out and
decided to visit her father at his farmhouse far off into a small town.
She needed to get away from him but not only that, she also wanted to
rid of the memories connected to him and that place. but was this
reasonable? Or was it just a moment of pure stupidity? Well only time
would tell
what this step would breed, either she would loose him forever or gain
him. Khushi
knew that she made him afraid but until he couldn't trust himself with
her, she couldn't and would not do anything about it. She wasn't really a
big believer in setting free of the hearts but for her own agony she
needed him to prove that he really did indeed belong with her.
There
were so many reasons to ward him and so many to keep
him close but the biggest one that made her heart leap was, just him. It
was hard and of course scary but Khushi knew he had
somehow in his ways loosened her from the inside but the foundation was
not
that weak that one tumble and she would fall of course she would hold
and grip
tight because she was not entirely too ready to face a heart break. It
was devastating enough that he didn't trust her with his feelings, but
it would be total shattering if he just played with her feelings for his
own physical desires.
the
knock on the door brought her out of her thoughts about that one man
who had stolen her heart right under from her close kept gaze, '' come
in'' pulling up on the bed, she looked up with widened eyes.
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''you
really have fallen, haven't you?'' his sister, light but powering
whisper brought him out of his own distress and he placed a smile on his
lips not wanting to worry her, '' love is of the essence of pain, they
seem to go hand in hand'' she stated keeping it light. She was a silent
viewer to all his agony, until now it had gotten too much.
''Anjali
Di, I am fine'' Arnav walked away from the window and took a seat, ''
and i have not fallen, Arnav Singh Raizada never falls ''
''unless
it's in love with a woman named khushi'' Anjali dripped sweetness into
her warm soothing voice and took a seat beside her younger brother, ''
just admit it!''
''why should i?''
''because the truth needs to breathe''
''i have lost Di'' with defeat in his eyes and desperation in his voice, he looked towards her for support.
'' Love is never your weakness, its only our own fears that make us weak''
''its scary to know, how much she is a part of me now, my existence seems fatal without her!''
Anjali
smiled with content, so her brother had indeed fallen. All his life, he
had sworn off that one feeling which brought sadness into her life but
what he didn't know was, without love he was incomplete, '' its like
pushing yourself off the cliff, afraid but still have the strongest of
beliefs to know that one person will catch you at the bottom''
''you had the belief and yet you still fell''
''i am not you Arnav, and You are not me''''
but ...'' Anjali cut in before he could speak further, '' if the reason
for not holding onto her is what happened with me, than let me tell
you, i have never been ashamed to be your sister until today! Why are
you putting her through so much pain because of fear, instead you should
learn from my mistake and hold onto her, hold on more tighter, more
secure than ever and never let her fade!''
Arnav started to speak
but his phone interrupted his words and he passed a sigh before
flicking the phone on, a smile arched upon his face, '' what is she
doing there?'' stopping, he shook his head, '' nevermind, just message
me the address''
Anjali stood up seeing a light upon her brothers face, '' you found her?''
Arnav
nodded, grabbing his coat, he walked out of the room towards the light,
and he knew just what that light was; it was khushi and he was coming
for her because darkness now didn't want him anymore, light was calling upon him.
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''can i come in?''
khushi
twitched and nodded, '' this is your house'' her father smiled and lead
inside the room, walking over to the corner shelf, '' what is it dad?''
''i am sorry'' he declared
khushi looked up confused, '' why are you apologizing?''
''i
am sorry for building walls to high that you could never reach over
them, i am sorry for keeping you away, and i am sorry for taking away
your father also after loosing your mother''
feeling tears brim her eyes, khushi maintained her composure, '' why now?''
He
came forward and sat on the bed beside khushi, '' do you remember what
your mother use to say,when she saw me buried in my work?''
Khushi smiled, '' she use to say, your a cheat, you married her but you spend more time with your work!''
''exactly
and in a way she was right and after she left me, i took to what i knew
i could control, khushi with you i didn't know where to start off -- i
was so scared that i would loose you that i kept you far off''
confronting his feelings, her father forwarded his hand, '' and till now
i really didn't know how far, and i am sorry about that''
without
a word, Khushi wrapped her arms around her father,holding on for her
dear life. Something was finally right, she was finding home again.
------------------------------------------okay so i know this part totally sucks, blame my boss and work, i simply couldn't find enough time to write out the part with as much satisfaction as the others. But i am still posting it because i don't have the willpower to write it again π
anyway next part will be the last part , with loads of Arnav&Khushi & with this part i just wanted to show their feelings simmering and the realizations :)
Kia.
Edited by iwilldare - 12 years ago
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