Part 5
ASHU
Though I had listened to Nidhi and promised her not to meet again, fate still put us together twice. And now with her
working in SV, we are bound to keep meeting again. Why does my heart still go leaps at the thought of seeing her?
Even when I know, there would be nothing beyond that. She has promises to keep, promises that stifle our dreams,
our future that could have been. With a sigh, I realise I am already at the hospital. After checking in with Sarita
I went to see an old lady with severe head injury. Luckily, she was brought in at the nick of time. I told them to get
the OT ready and changed into my gown. It was not a very complicated surgery and thankfully, not much damage done.
In 2 weeks, the lady should be able to go home. I went to the doctor's lounge after changing and was updating the
lady's file when " Sir, would you like some tea?", said the voice most dear to me. As I looked up,
saw Nidhi, dressed in a Pink and white Kurti and leggings, her face seemed to have some glow today, she looked pretty
and close to the old Nidhi. Was it the new job or ??? I brushed away any hopeful thoughts and motioned her to sit.
She placed the two teacups on the table."Ginger tea" she said, as our eyes met briefly. I kept looking for a while
, remembering our tea dates, then looked away, lest I turn weak. " Thanks for the tea,How is Ketan, Dr. Nidhi?" " Better,
I have given him the morning dose and he was sleeping when I came, you can check him in half hour". " So, how is everyone
at home?" " Just the same", said Nidhi with a faraway look, perhaps remembering our last confrontation in Kerala. I had done everything I could, to persuade Colonel Verma, but he was unrelenting. And for the first time I saw Nidhi so weak against her family.
I noticed Nidhi looking at my head bandage intently, " Do you have pain still? How is the wound? Do you remember
to change the dressing frequently? You should or the wound will not heal well. " Her Barrage of questions brought a smile as it reminded me of our interlude,
when I had a sprain on my leg and she had come barging in with a similar interrogation. Her animated concerned face,
her drinking my glass of water, all flashed before my eyes. Though we had not confessed
our love to each other then,it was a feeling of closeness that had crept up within me, as well as her. The way she
commanded over me seemed as if we had known each other since ages.My world seemed colored with her,
like a bountiful rain on a parched land, I felt so so complete. All that seemed like a dream now,and inspite of telling
myself again and again not to get emotional, I found tears betraying me. Nidhi, as if sensing what was going on within
me, said softly, " This world and its people have a lot to do with two people's happiness, put everything into it
to keep them from being happy. But they are blind to the tears, no one can see those, or the feelings behind those",
and she came beside my chair delicately wiped the tears her fingers. I caught both her hands between mine and rested my head on them.
It felt as if I was resting after ages. " Dr. Ashutosh, we have to ...", she tried saying, but my strong arms engulfed
her fiercely, " Nidhi, I have not lived all these days without you, just survived, I have tried each and every day
to be the same Ashutosh before I met you. But I am failing, and failing badly. All I see is you, all I think is you,
its as if my whole world has stopped in place, waiting for you. Please, please come back into my life Nidhi, I won't
be able to sustain without you ." Nidhi looked at me, taken aback at this outburst after long. I myself realized I hadn't broken up like this after a long while. It felt good, my aching heart seemed
somewhat lighter. She could not stop her tears
either, "Dr. Ashutosh, I have not been living either, just dragging myself, pushing to live. We could not be together
in happiness, but we are together in our sorrow, no one can take that from us at least." And she looked at me with
tear stricken but loving eyes." Sir, Ketan is awake now", said a nurse, which jolted us back from our emotional episode.
I went into the washroom to clean up and when I returned saw Nidhi with a determined look in her eyes. She smiled
weakly and came towards me and we walked together to check on Ketan.
Nidhi's house
Nidhi
It just tore me apart to see Ashutosh break down like this, had never seen him so before, not even in Kerala when we parted. I had turned him from Mr. hardstone, confident to this weak, emotional person. I was the one always confident in our relation, coaxed him to come out of his shell and start loving life. And now that he learnt to look at life with rosy eyes, I shied away, leaving him alone to face his solace. How helpless I felt, hated myself !! Inspite of Anji and Shyama aunty warning me, I went ahead with this relation, very well knowing that the age gap between us, will not be easy to overcome. And now, my faith is faltering, wavering? How did I become so weak? Not able to support the man I love? For whom I wandered all over the place clutching to the belief that he was safe and sound, and brought him back from being believed dead.
No, I cannot torture him like this. I cannot bear to give him any more sorrow, he has HAD ENOUGH. I have to find a way to get him in my life again. After getting him back from that accident, I cannot lose him again. I have to win dadibua and Baba for him. Its not going to be easy, but I have to do it. When fate made me fall in love with him, and made us work together, it shall help me get us together again. Dadibua and Baba will have to see beyond the 18 yrs between us. They will have to see this wonderful person I love, and who loves me deeply, and grant us our happiness. In this life that god has given me, I cannot waste any more time being without him, away from him.He does not deserve this. Thinking all this, I didn't realize when I slept and when I woke up, felt a new day waiting for me. After what seemed like ages, it seemed like I was the same Nidhi when I had joined Kotnis.
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