Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon


Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

Why Khushi Cannot Reveal About Shyam: Edited

rima IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 31 October 2011
Posts: 25045

Posted: 06 April 2012 at 12:08pm | IP Logged
Almost Everyday I read posts saying Khushi should have told about Shyam to Arnav or at least Nani
Almost Everyday in some post or the other whenever Khushi is hurt by Arnav, bang comes the retort she should have told the truth.
Almost everyday I read posts where people ask why she gives Shyam so many chances.
I also read posts that Khushi is encouraging Shyam by being silent. She should tell at least Payal. She should slap him etc. etc.
I have been reading this for so long and never spoken on it. Today I just had to because once again she was a victim of Arnav's wrath and did not tell him about Shyam's mishandling her.
Let's go back to before marriage.
  • She tried to tell Anji. But her mangal suttra broke and she stopped herself.
  • She decided to keep quiet for Payal and Anji
  • She can't tell Naniji because Shyam is a trusted member of the family. Who will believe a new entrant in comparison to a trusted member. Moreover there is the family peace to think of and the fact that Khushi has just been accepted by Nani
  • She can't tell Anji, goes without saying. Anji is pregnant, she worships her husband and she would just be devastated.
  • She can't tell Akash because he worships his jija and jiji. Also he is married to her Jiji. If Akash knows Payal hid the truth all hell may break lose. Not only Mami, even Akash may turn against Payal. At present Khushi cannot risk it.
  • She defenitely can't tell Arnav. He already distrusts and appears to hate her. Imagine what reaction, an accusation like this can evoke in Arnav. Khushi doesn't know Arnav knows about Shyam. She thinks he will be deastated.
  • She can't tell Payal and her family, because they are too wrapped up in their own world to care for Khushi. She can try and tell them, but how will they help?All the problems which applies to her, also applies to them. Anything against Shyam may destroy Payal. Moreover, this stupid family watched as shyam came towards her during Holi. No one asked her anything. Her family is not her real family. She is adopted. She cannot risk losing them. As it is they are reeady to tell her she is adopted and not their blood. We know the Gupta family doesn't care because they as elders should have told about Shyam to the Raizada family but they failed. Bauji is the only hope. Had he been normal, I am sure Khushi would have told him as she trusts only him.
  • Khushi stands to lose all relationships if she reveals about shyam.
So I will say Khushi has no choice.
Do you know most victims of sexual harassment suffer in silence due to the following reasons:
  • Shame and fear of social stigma. Girls often think people will say they attracted the unwanted attention from the stalker. We all know it happens
  • Fear of upsetting the apple cart when the stalker is in the family. Most victims think if things can resolve itself without upsetting anyome, then they should ignore the stalker and the problem will be solved.
  • Optimistic hope that the stalker will change his behavor some day and reform
  • Fear that if they slap them or do some physical harm to the stalker, he will overpower them and force themselves on them. Many of us girl do not slap an eve teaser for similar reasons
Tell me if any of this is untrue for Khushi? How on earth is she expected to reveal about Shyam?
I think in this case the CVs have portrayed what really happens when the staker or sexual advance maker is in the family.
Beleive me it is a nightmare no girl would like to be a victim of.
Here the only person who can help Khushi is she herself. God helps those who help themselves. She is too strong to be a victim. All I am trying to explain is why she is not telling anyone. But when the time comes, I am afraid when Shyam gets even worse, she will have no choice to let the hell break lose.

Edited by rima - 06 April 2012 at 2:51pm

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rana5 Goldie

Joined: 14 October 2011
Posts: 1617

Posted: 06 April 2012 at 12:20pm | IP Logged
Thanks for reminding all of us about Khushi's POV.  I think most of us are impatient and just want something to happen.  But your points are valid and make sense.  Since Khushi is a people pleaser, she will undoubtedly take all the guilt onto herself. She just does not want to create problems and is hoping this will somehow resolve itself.

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gifttag IF-Dazzler

Joined: 07 February 2012
Posts: 2651

Posted: 06 April 2012 at 12:20pm | IP Logged
very well said.good answer to all the Q about harresment by one of the family member.thank you for sticking up for Khushi.

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rima IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 31 October 2011
Posts: 25045

Posted: 06 April 2012 at 12:23pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by gifttag

very well said.good answer to all the Q about harresment by one of the family member.thank you for sticking up for Khushi.
If any woman steps into Khushi's shoes, they will know what I am talking about. One would quake at the thought of accusing a family member of sexual harassment and targeting especially when that person is also married.

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OnepoundChic IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 05 January 2011
Posts: 22647

Posted: 06 April 2012 at 12:25pm | IP Logged
very nice post rima..well written n well needed!
cant give a long comment,going for test but absolutely fab post!

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Tia.0 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 04 March 2012
Posts: 13856

Posted: 06 April 2012 at 12:33pm | IP Logged
Thanks for putting the thoughts in such a factual perspective. That's what I have been saying in every post where people were bashing Khushi for hiding the truth. 

Woman always feel guilty when they become a victim of sexual harassment, specially when the harasser is one of the family members. Shame is another reason for not revealing the truth. 

However, women are women's worst enemy. I can bet you everyone who has been bashing Khushi for not revealing the truth are women. Because, when this kind of things happen, everyone blames the woman... No one points a finger to the man. And it is not the first time, it started since Adam and Eve... Eve enticed Adam, Adam was a poor innocent baby with puppy dog eyes...  

If I were in Khushi's shoes, Arnav will be the last one I'd confide in. Because not only he has called her lier and a gold digger again and again, but also mentioned time and time again that he will never believe her. So why bother since after 6 months she will be out of the house anyway? Besides she has no indication that Arnav knows the truth... Shyam lives in the mansion like a king and ASR pays for those luxuries. The same guy who did not even bother buying life's necessities like a piece of cloth after she got married and had to borrow clothes from her sister in law. 

So, I think Khushi's reluctance to reveal the truth makes perfect sense..

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areeba_blossom IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 09 April 2010
Posts: 11118

Posted: 06 April 2012 at 12:34pm | IP Logged
Not to the extent to which Khushi's being harassed but I do know what kind of tension envelops when u are being stalked.
Thanks for a good post like this. Khushi's situation has been helpless from day 1. I assume and it clearly looks that Khushi has always considered herself debted because of being adopted. She has always tried to reach out for others but she's the kind who hides her saddness and problems not letting herself being the center of attention.

Arnav is the only one who'll love her completly but it'll depend on how he'll manage his anger!

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Horizon IF-Dazzler

Joined: 29 February 2012
Posts: 3986

Posted: 06 April 2012 at 12:35pm | IP Logged
One has to identify some thing as a problem in the fist place to address it. Khushi deosn't really seem to come to a conclusion/ decision yet if Shaym is indeed a problem that needs immediate attention at all!
Situation has reached a stage where she can not play safe any more and she has to realize that. She has to take a risk with some one.. even after all this Arnav still remains her best bet.

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