Would you ever fall for a man IF - Page 14

no I would probably kill myself before falling for a man like that in real life

no ways... not in real life. fiction is better. 

@Smriti very well said .You wrote everything nicely.
@Binsur exactly. I also dreamt BIG and always thought a person who loves his fam/mom the best is the best one since he would also love him the most. He would be THE BEST family man ever.
Trust me it is not the same once you are married and sharing your life with the same kind of person. You would want to be his PRIORITY and that's a fact.
Life is NOT AT ALL what it seems when you watch an ever sacrificing SP bahu. It's NOT REAL.

Originally posted by: serialjunkie

Just want to ask everyone here, how many of you will be comfortable living in a joint family with lots of sisters, mother, other relatives whom your husband will always put ahead of you, every single day. Will you be good with that situation? If the answer is yes, then you are ready to love a guy who will put his family ahead of you. If the answer is no way i cannot live in a joint family but i dont mind him occasionally putting his family ahead of me,  you are not ready to love a guy like ASR because you cannot pick and choose when you want him to put you ahead of his family.

Lets say you need his support to study further but he always wants you to assist in household chores and help his sister because she is pregnant. would you be willing ot make that sacrifice?

lets say you plan a nice twosome vacation and your sister in law and her kids want to tag along and he says yes because he does not want to hurt his sisters feelings, would you be willing to make that sacrifice?

lets say you want to work or run a business but your sister in law objects to it because she thinks a woman's place is at home, and he listens to his sister because he cannot hurt her feelings, would you be willing to make that sacrifice?

Lets say your mom or dad is seriously ill and you would like to spend some time with them, but your sister in law needs you at home because she is pregnant and cannot do much household work and he tells you that you should rather be home looking after his sister than spend time with your family because his sister is the msot important person to him, would you be willing ot make that sacrifice?

lets say you need money to buy a house/car/furniture/vacation/computer anything you feel is very important for you but your sister in law needs cash for sending her children to private school (a waste in your opinion because she can send them to cheaper but equally good schools) but she cannot afford to do so, your husband tells you to sacrifice your needs and sends all his money to his sister. would you be willing to make that sacrifice?

sure, you will be willing to make that sacrifice once, twice even three times but after the fourth time you can bet you all the good virtues in the world you will sure as hell resent him and his sister.

Edited by asha... - 12 years ago

Originally posted by: binsur

Hi,

 

Thanks for the advice. But I guess you have misunderstood my words... My husband and I have no problems. We have no MU. We both certainly understand each other very well. We both love each other inspite of the differences in personalities. There is not even a single fight between us that has not been resolved before the day ends (so far...). We are kind of like Arnav and Khushi in that we are exact opposite and our views differ on almost anything under the earth. But we communicate with each other very well. We express our displeasures to each other so that each know the other inside out. My colleagues say they have never met somebody else who talk to their spouces (on phone) so much every single day. We miss each other if we do not talk to each other (in a busy day) on the phone...We call up the other every few hours and if there is nothing else, we will just fight about something 😆.

Coming to your point I do not want him to change but what I was trying to say was that it is easy to make claims and difficult when you have to live with it!!! I saw many  claiming that they want their husband to put their mothers, sisters or somebody else before them etc etc... Having been in that position years ago and having faced the reality, I just wrote my opinion. I was also an idealist. Reality is different...As a wife you would want your husband to give you top priority (maybe not at the expense of others). As a husband he would expect the same from you. Ask any man...

What I was trying to say to people who claimed that they do not mind their partner to give prority to others NOW in the hope that one day they will become his top priority was that- It might not happen in real life.. Do not be disillusioned in such a  case...I was just trying to quote my case as an example...not to bring my marital problems into the picture...