Hey there,
I am back with the second chapter...Sorry that it took so long but I wanted to clear my head of the actual track before finalizing this. This chapter may appear slower and a little less intense as compared to the first one, but it is kind of a prologue to the next part. I have tried to keep it slow and subtle like the actual story.
Hope you like it...Please comment.
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Chapter 2: So near yet so far!
Ahem sat in one of the sofa chairs in his room, the laptop in front of him and a file in his hand. To anyone else in the house this was a regular sight, the usual Ahem, working like a machine, sometimes even into the wee hours of the night. The report he was making for his uncle had to be perfect and Ahem Modi was known for his perfection "Yeah right."
But no one knew that behind that carefully composed face, Ahem was squirming with frustration. No one had a clue, no one…Not his wife lying on the bed a few feet away from him, not the occasional family member who came in to check on her. They all just went on with their stuff unaware that it was taking Ahem literally all of his physical strength, not to scream out with frustration. "She still isn't looking at me…What's so interesting in that book anyway? Can't she see I am here?" This drill had been going on for quite some time now.
Three days it had been since Gopi fell and Ahem decided to stay at home. Ahem had woken up that first morning, excited and determined, he had gotten his way after all. Ahem had shifted a mini office in his room and work was fine. Nothing was impossible if Ahem Modi put his mind to it. Ahem smirked "Except of course telepathically forcing Gopi to look at me." The thought wiped the smirk off his face. It had become a frustrating routine.
He would get up in the morning and she would be asleep. "Fine by me, medications at work". By the time he would get ready and come out of the bathroom, Gopi would be up. The maximum he had been able to get out of her was a smile and the occasional "How are you now?" "Ji, I am feeling a little better", and that was it. Before he could string another set of words in his head to form an unassuming casual sentence, Meethi would come and ask him if she can help Gopi get ready. That was her way of telling him to leave. "Right on schedule aren't you Meethi?…No! No! Very good…Very efficient…And oh yeah…Damn you!"
He would try to rush through breakfast as fast he could, followed by a quick briefing with Jigar and Kaka about the day's schedule and the paperwork and such that he would be sending their way. Then he would go upstairs for Gopi's walk. She had been advised by the doctor to walk for at least 10 minutes but after the "incident" as Ahem liked to call it, she was asked to walk for a few minutes in the room itself. The walk had become one of the best times of his day. He actually looked forward to it. The few minutes in the day when he got a little close to her, "Well not as close as I would like but at least I get to hold her". She never spoke "Ofcourse", but Ahem cherished the way she held on to him as she took those small steps. It was a small thing but it meant a lot to him. For him, it was a mark of the trust Gopi still had on him, inspite of the accident he had indirectly caused her. But he did notice that Gopi was being extremely conscious of herself. Not once would she blush, not once would she look up at him, just a customary smile before the walk and a shy "thank you" later.
After the walk, Kokila and Hetal would come up with Gopi's breakfast. "That's it for the day." Ahem would think grudgingly. He would carefully help Gopi sit down and leave the room with his cellphone to brief his secretary about the day's task list. He would always unknowingly wait for his mother to leave the room before he entered. He was confused as to why he was avoiding his mother around Gopi…it was weird but he did it anyway.
By the time he would be back in his room, Gopi would be sitting up with either a book in her hand or some sort of odd-job his mother brought up for her. She would acknowledge his presence with a slight smile and that would be it. "Never a word, never! Not a single thing. How tough was it to speak?...Sure, Ahem you are the one to talk.." Ahem would wait for a couple of seconds, fail to come up with anything to say and slump onto the sofa pretending as if he had a lot to do, which he did.
Ahem would begin work with better focus than the office. At least here he didn't have to worry about her hurting herself again. But soon he would begin to lose interest. He would make sure he finishes all the urgent tasks but the once he would get a little headway, he would slacken. The memories would haunt him again and again. It was like they never left him. They would always be there at the back of his mind, lingering, waiting for an opportunity to engulf him. Always giving him a sense of emptiness, hopelessness…
Ahem himself wasn't sure what had him so rattled. This is what he wanted … to keep her under his own supervision. He had what he wanted, didn't he? But was this all that he wanted? The new arrangement may have removed the physical distance between them, but the walls where still there. The silence was maddening. It was unexpected for him. Usually he was the one in control, but now he felt like he was on the other side of the door…Not knowing how to get in…Hell! He didn't even know whether he wanted to go in, but he was hating the fact that he didn't know how.
Did I distance myself so much, that now I myself have lost my way back? She is right there, on the bed…and I am not able to talk to her. He remembered when he would scold her for the smallest things, hated the sight of her…Ahem could distinctly remember the day he had slapped her. Rage, outright rage had taken over him. His wife was illiterate? Ahem closed his eyes to block away the memories. "I have to do something before I go completely insane"
He purposely dropped a file to the floor, hoping to get a word out of her. "Pathetic Ahem, Pathetic…Well desperate times desperate measures". He immediately looked at Gopi, who had looked up and was about to say something when Kokila entered the room. She had come to check on Gopi "As usual". Ahem stared at the duo as they spoke in hushed tones, trying not to disturb Ahem. Kokila glanced at Ahem, "Ahem, are you not supposed to be working? Do you want something?" For some unfathomable reason, he stiffly said "No." giving a really stern look to both of them. Ahem was loosing it by the day and he knew it.
He returned his gaze to the laptop and resolved not to look in her direction for another hour at least. "Enough of having Ahem Modi on tenterhooks. No, No more." Kokila left the room saying that Hetal will come in an hour or so to give her the medicine. Ahem's head snapped up. His mom looked at him casually…He was about to say something but thought the better of it. He couldn't have another argument with his mom…and win. Ahem looked down again and stifled a sigh. "I am not her security guard, I am her husband…Its my job to give her the medicine not Kaki's… Isn't that why I went through the trouble to be here in the first place."
Ahem waited a few minutes after his mother left. He glanced at Gopi again hoping that she would say something. Even he didn't know what, anything would do. But Ahem was in for a shock. Gopi had a frown on her face and she looked extremely worried. Before he could understand what was going on, Gopi wiped a tear from her eye. "What happened? Why are you crying?" Ahem asked, panicking. Gopi looked up startled. "Ji, Nothing." "What the…Just tell me what happened?"
"Gopi! How are you feeling now?" Rashi entered the room unannounced. How much he hated her. Nothing about her was right… not her words, not her actions… "Not her timing.." Rashi entered the room for her usual "checkup". Gopi was suddenly smiling radiantly, and Ahem was taken aback. "A second ago she was wiping her tears and look at her now…Smiling as if nothing happened. How could she be so convincing…Hide her feelings as if they didn't exist. Stupid Beautiful weirdo!" Ahem took a deep breath and turned away from the sisters.
Rashi left the room in a few minutes telling Gopi something about her mother Urmila calling to check on her and how concerned she is. Ahem blocked out the rest. Ahem had made it a practice to feign deafness in matters regarding Rashi and her mother. He hated the very sight of them. "Yeah sure, SHE is concerned. Where was all the concern when it really mattered? Where was she when Gopi needed blood?...No Ahem Don't go there…" But before he could stop himself, his mind filled with the bloodied images of Gopi..the hospital…the ICU. "If we don't get blood soon, she may even slip into a coma", these words had been haunting him in spite of the fact that Gopi was out of danger now, safely home. Ahem closed his eyes and tried to shake the images away. Gopi noticed his agitation from the corner of her eye.
Gopi lay on the bed, staring at an open book, completely perplexed with Ahem's behavior. She had been confused for so many days now. What had gotten into him? Did he eat properly? Did he sleep at all? Was there some problem at work? Why is he always stressed? She looked at her bandaged leg and felt miserable. If only she had been well…she would have made sure he was taken care of. Not that Maaji and the others didn't take care of him…but it kind of looked like all that care didn't seem to be having any effect on Ahem. It felt incomplete to Gopi. Was he liking the food? Was he getting his tea on time? Gopi felt more and more guilty with every passing minute. How could she sit here and see other people take care of Ahem. It was her job. Her devotion to him. Her only way of expressing her love for him. Taking care of his needs was a right, a right she had earned painstakingly. It was hard not to look at him when he was in the room. Hard not to fuss over him, did he need anything? Water? Tea? But she had to control herself… She should not disturb him, not when he had already done so much for her.
"Who was that? Is it Gopi? Why is she screaming?" Ahem ran up the stairs…There she was standing between the clothes lines…sobbing uncontrollably. Ahem went towards her, she didn't even notice him coming. He looked up at the sky…it was going to rain any minute now. "What happened? Why are you screaming?" She turned around surprised…confused…disbelieving. She looked at him, unsure of what she was seeing. She clasped her hands together as if in prayer. Within seconds the expression changed…She smiled and instinctively raised a hand to touch him, just to make sure he was actually there. But her hand stopped a few inches from him, as if they had hit an invisible wall…"
"Ahem dikra, lunch is ready. Go downstairs, your Kaki is waiting for you", Kokila's voice tore into Ahem's daydream. She was standing at the door carrying a tray of food for Gopi. Ahem nodded saying "I just need a few minutes" "To clear my head that is". Kokila came in and helped Gopi sit up. She could feel Ahem's eyes on them. She smiled inwardly…her son was definitely changing. She silently began feeding Gopi as Ahem looked on, picturing himself to be the one feeding her. A couple of minutes later, Meethi knocked on the door, asking for Ahem to come down for lunch. Ahem was too engrossed to notice her. Kokila turned around, "Ahem!"… "Ji, Mom?" "Lunch.." "Right". Ahem got up and left without another word.
Kokila turned to Gopi, and saw the gloom that had come over the soft features of her daughter-in-law's face. Kokila realized that her primary concern for the past few days was manifesting itself…Both Ahem and Gopi were fighting their feelings, each for their own reasons…leading them to misconstrue each other's actions. Gopi didn't know that Ahem had finally fallen in love with her. Her son himself didn't know. She could sense that Gopi was being cautious and wary of the attention she was getting and Ahem was frustrated at the distance he himself had created. "Hey Krishna bhagwan! What should I do?" Kokila thought to herself, but before she could think further, she got the solution and it came from her Gopi vau herself.
"Maaji, can I say something?" Gopi asked hesitatingly…
