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ArHiFF:Winter Storms & Cherry Blossoms [Note-Pg57] (Page 14)

Angel-Girl Senior Member
Angel-Girl
Angel-Girl

Joined: 17 August 2009
Posts: 806

Posted: 22 December 2011 at 11:37pm | IP Logged
i liked how it started
cant wait for more Smile

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Aubade.

-RushTrip- IF-Rockerz
-RushTrip-
-RushTrip-

Joined: 19 May 2009
Posts: 9024

Posted: 22 December 2011 at 11:40pm | IP Logged
wow! nice

do pm me updates!

thanks for the pm!!

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DTeacher Senior Member
DTeacher
DTeacher

Joined: 01 December 2011
Posts: 426

Posted: 22 December 2011 at 11:44pm | IP Logged

Hi Amal,

Thanks for inviting me to read the prologue - really nice start. Have to admit that I was slightly confused at the start, as you seemed to flit from 'third person' to '1st person' then back to '3rd person' for Khushi's character. Found it very enjoyable though - thank you!

Edited to add: If you want to amend it, it starts where you write ''I had worked with him twice and that was enough for me.''   and  it is ''he hung around''  not  ''he hanged around''



Edited by DTeacher - 22 December 2011 at 11:48pm

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Marybarton IF-Rockerz
Marybarton
Marybarton

Joined: 12 October 2011
Posts: 5991

Posted: 22 December 2011 at 11:49pm | IP Logged
14 pages of prologue comments. I doubt you need a confirmation from me that you write really well. 

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Aubade.

Aubade. IF-Sizzlerz
Aubade.
Aubade.

Joined: 24 April 2010
Posts: 13137

Posted: 22 December 2011 at 11:50pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by DTeacher

Hi Amal,

Thanks for inviting me to read the prologue - really nice start. Have to admit that I was slightly confused at the start, as you seemed to flit from 'third person' to '1st person' then back to '3rd person' for Khushi's character. Found it very enjoyable though - thank you!

Edited to add: If you want to amend it, it starts where you write ''I had worked with him twice and that was enough for me.''   and  it is ''he hung around''  not  ''he hanged around''


Thanks a lot dii. I will amend them now. Din't proof read it before. Sorry.Embarrassed
applesauce. IF-Sizzlerz
applesauce.
applesauce.

Joined: 23 February 2010
Posts: 13760

Posted: 22 December 2011 at 11:53pm | IP Logged
Interesting..cont soonBig smile

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Aubade.

Aubade. IF-Sizzlerz
Aubade.
Aubade.

Joined: 24 April 2010
Posts: 13137

Posted: 22 December 2011 at 11:54pm | IP Logged

The following 146 member(s) liked the above post:

shy_rebelgurl,  kashev,  Angel-Girl,  321abc,  melovemayur,  Rihana2088,  rosellla,  Shini.Shiva86,  fhussain237Madhu123

I am totally overwhelmed guys. It really means so much to receive such response in the beginning itself. Thank You. I will be posting the first part tonight itself. And yes, I will reply to each one of your comments soon. <3

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--sumana13--

DTeacher Senior Member
DTeacher
DTeacher

Joined: 01 December 2011
Posts: 426

Posted: 22 December 2011 at 11:59pm | IP Logged

Thanks SmokingDreams and you are welcome. Smile

Just to clarify, I'm not a Dii - as I am male. LOL

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