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Dekha Ek Khwaab
Dekha Ek Khwaab

Manveer FF: |Choomantar| PMlist & Ch.4 (Pg9) Jan 4 (Page 11)

minizz IF-Dazzler
minizz
minizz

Joined: 28 September 2011
Posts: 4972

Posted: 04 January 2012 at 10:16pm | IP Logged
This chapter was really good.got to see a slightly different side of Uday.oh no J ko patha chal gayaOuch
ab kya hoga?lovely update.enjoyed it a lotBig smile

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-iPayal-

crazysandhir Goldie
crazysandhir
crazysandhir

Joined: 27 March 2011
Posts: 2207

Posted: 05 January 2012 at 3:17am | IP Logged
Its SIMPLY SUPERB Clap n thnanks for d pm Hug

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moksha89 IF-Dazzler
moksha89
moksha89

Joined: 26 October 2011
Posts: 2672

Posted: 05 January 2012 at 10:19am | IP Logged
how did i not come across your FF before?  i just read the first part & it's so good!  I like how you've set up the story & made Manyata's character a little more smart! LOL Loved how Uday is hating the guards ..& for some reason this line cracked me up " "Jaan-e-man, kaha aa rahi ho?" said one of them getting out of the jeep."  reminds me of Shammi Kapoor going "badan pe sitare, lapate hui.. oh jaan-e-tamana..kahan ja rahe ho?" LOL

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moksha89 IF-Dazzler
moksha89
moksha89

Joined: 26 October 2011
Posts: 2672

Posted: 05 January 2012 at 3:42pm | IP Logged
"Manyata turned around to see HIM. Oh no! not him again. Uday walked towards them with the jeep's headlights shining on him like a spotlight. His hands in his pocket, a smooth walk and a calm smile on his face.(A solid hero waali entry)"

so good!  i love how you have Udayveer's hottness and intellligence in full form while Manyata is persistent as ever.  Off to part 3 Wink

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moksha89 IF-Dazzler
moksha89
moksha89

Joined: 26 October 2011
Posts: 2672

Posted: 05 January 2012 at 3:50pm | IP Logged
omy gosh! totally in love with your FF! i reiterate, how did i not come across it earlier??!??!? 
loving the banter, and suspense near the end of this part, now on to part four!

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moksha89 IF-Dazzler
moksha89
moksha89

Joined: 26 October 2011
Posts: 2672

Posted: 05 January 2012 at 3:57pm | IP Logged
grrr, that J! 
i'm liking how you nicely exited Aakash out, means that Manyata's only roadblock is herself.  can't wait for your next part! :)

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moonstruck Senior Member
moonstruck
moonstruck

Joined: 27 July 2007
Posts: 773

Posted: 05 January 2012 at 5:03pm | IP Logged
hai if only they showed this on the show. manyata fighting for/remembering her baba!!!
 
have they forgotten so quickly?
 
loved the update thankyou

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abhijeet.bhai Goldie
abhijeet.bhai
abhijeet.bhai

Joined: 13 September 2011
Posts: 1598

Posted: 25 January 2012 at 11:00am | IP Logged
plzz add me soon na i am wating

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