The day was tiring. Ahem had to finish of few important client meetings, which were delayed for a while, and had some pending tasks to be completed. All are done now. When he looked up to see the clock, he was stunned.7.30. Oh, it is late and decided to head home. She might be waiting. Hope she is not sleeping. Shall I call and check? That reminded him, he had asked his PA to get him a mobile with connection. He took the mobile from his table and kept it in the laptop bag.
While driving, his thoughts were full of her. The way she was walking in the morning. With him holding her, she seemed to walking fine. The thought of holding her waist, bought a smirk on his face. That was the first time; he was ever conscious of her body. Before today, whenever he touched her, he never bothered to think in any other way. It was all either accidental or just to help her. But today, though he caught her because she is falling, he let his hand linger there for few more seconds. He knew that he is touching her. He would have taken back his back once she was steady. Instead he preferred to look into her eyes searching for a longing. She did not reciprocate. She was initially surprised then uncomfortable. It was just him who is lost there. He immediately took his hands back. Once he reached the parking lot of Modi bhavan, he lifted his right hand stared at it for few minutes. Holding her was such a pleasure and he wished she shared his same feelings. As if to hold on to the memory, he closed his palm for a min and signed then let it go.
Kaka and Jigar was already reached before him. Mom and Kakiji were busy in the kitchen. Raashi opened the door and tried to greet him. He gave her a cold glare and did not even bother to return the greeting. He missed Gopi. When Gopi used to open the door for him, her face would be a treat to see. The eagerness to see him and the happiness of seeing him would be evident. Even those days, when he used to snap at her, those expressions would not change. He missed it. He climbed upstairs. Meethi was standing near his cupboard. What is she doing there? Gopi is sitting up in the bed. She is smiling, he took a long breath. That's it. She is alright. He relaxed and gave her a smile back. She is looking at him as if she has seen him after years. Meethi greeted him and took leave.
She greeted him with a 'jai sri krishna'. He nodded.
"How are you? Are you ok? Had medicines?"
"Ji Ahemji" she beamed.
He was out of questions. What to ask now?
"How was your day, Ahemji?"
"Good."
Ahem paused for a while and asked
"Were you tired after the walk in the morning?" He hoped she will think about the morning incident. He wanted to see her blush.
"ji Ahemji, I mean no. I was not tired." No blushing, she is just smiling like a kid. Disappointed, he went to change and then for dinner telling Gopi that he will ask his mom to get her food. She told him that she is not hungry and get it only after their dinner.
Everyone has already reached the dining. Baa is nodding at him happily, smiling. He greeted her. He made a note in his mind to spend some time with her tomorrow. He never had time for her. Guilt gripped his heart again. He sat down for dinner. Raashi was standing there with a scowl on her face since his mother forbade her from serving. He somewhat understood, why his mom is always strict on Raashi. She never came across as a truthful person. He always thought her as manipulative and cunning. May be his mom shares his view? Forget it. He concentrated on the food.
"Ahem jiju"
Ahem looked up in surprise. Me...
"Today, Gopi was about to fall down. I reached there on time and helped her"
He almost shouted."What..." He dropped the spoon in his hand.
Instantly the room went silent. Mom was glaring at Raashi and for a change even Kakiji was glaring. Mom put her hands on his shoulder and he turned to look her.
"Hetal bahu.. You told me, it was nothing, When if asked you about the sound" Baa was surprised.
Mom instantly replied. "Baa. Gopi vau was trying to stand up to take the medicine. And she tripped her leg. Raashi caught her on time. Nothing happened. She is fine"
Kakaji faced mom "Kokila you should be more careful about Gopi. We got her back from death because of our prayers. Now we need to take care of her like a precious gem. No mistake should be allowed from our side"
Mom's face lowered a bit and she looked at Raashi and then to Kakaji. Kakiji eyes her to be calm. hem stood up instantly and asked Meethi, to give him Gopi's food.
"Ahem dikra, finish of your food"
"No Kakiji, I am not hungry"
He took Gopi's plate and left the dining.
'She almost fell. How can that happen? Why did she get up? No one case to her if she needed something? Mom would have definitely cared for her. I am sure it might be Raashi's fault. Not again. I would not let anything happen to Gopi, because of her sister again
He shook his head and he tied to calm down by taking long breaths. Gopi was reading a book, which he got her yesterday.
"Gopi."
He was almost shouting
She dropped the book and looked at him. The moment he saw his face, she knew its trouble. She did not reply back, just looked at him expecting the worst.
"Why didn't you tell me? You were about to fall today? Why did you get up without anyone's help? You could have called mom? Why can't you think about your condition before doing something stupid like this? Don't ever do this to me. Understood?" He stopped catching for breath.
Gopi nodded. She clearly not understood what is happening. She got that confused look on her face
"Are you alright? Is it hurting anywhere? Do you want me to call the doctor?
"No Ahemji. I am fine."
"How is your head? Is the pain still there?"
"No Ahemji, I am better now.
"Now, have food"
She looked up directly in his eyes. This time, he did not see the twinkling of happiness of shyness in her eyes. Instead, worry reflected in her eyes. Is she really ok?
"Maaji?"
Ahem wondered'"Maaji???"
She hesitated. Ahem asked again
"What happened? You need mom for something? Mom is having food. I can help you, if you need something."
She lowered her face. 'Please god don't let her cry'
"ji I will have food when maaji comes up". She mumbled but still the reply was stubborn. Her eyes have become teary.
Ahem, was about to snap at her for acting like a child, then he realized, she is hesitating to take food from him? Why? The other day it was ok. Her face was lowered as if she is hiding something. Is she ok? Ahem was becoming impatient. He decided to talk it out. How to begin? He pondered. The silence is getting thicker and thicker around them. 'Please don't let her cry' he prayed.
He slowly put the plate down and took her hand in his arms. She looked at him. It reminded him of the look she had the day, when she went to the goons. The way she turned in front of the car, the way she looked, scared, unsure of the future. He just ran his thumbs on top her palms and stated circling it to sooth her anxiety.
Gopi looked at his action unbelievingly. He has done it before. But that times were different, they had different issues, priorities. Now it's just two of them and he knew she will be very much conscious of this touch in the privacy of their bed room. He assured himself 'It is ok'. May be more than words, a touch can comfort her. Or is it that he did not trust his words so much to console Gopi. He just wanted to make one point, that he is there for her whatever she needs.
"Gopi"
He waited for the reply. None came
"What happened?"
"If there is any problem, tell me. I will fix it no matter what. I will call mom. You don't worry. But I know you are worried. If it is something which you want to share with me, I am here."
"ji woh.." Gopi hesitated.
Ahem waited patiently. He has an urge to push her to continue. But still he waited. Let her speak up. She should not be scared of him anymore, let her reach her comfort level herself.
She started to sob lightly. Oh god. How will I ever keep away those tears?
"Ji, I am becoming a burden to everyone. Everyone is worried because of me. I don't know what to do. Look at you; you are not eating properly nowadays. Your office schedule is a mess up. Maaji and Kakiji, they have to do all the housework and also they have to climb the stairs up and down all the time to check on me. I don't know what to do. Ahemji. Can i go back to hospital? Please?"
She finished of her sentences with hiccups. She was struggling to speak between the cries.
Ahem was stunned. What, Why the hell she is thinking like this? Did anyone behave that way with her?
"Gopi, chup ho jao"
Ahem immediately took the glass of water and gave her. She finished the taking a sip and returned the glass. He turned to face her. When he saw her crying face, that's it, he decided. I cannot take it anymore. He slowly raised his hand and touched her shoulder slowly moving it up and down to comfort her. Her eyes were widened at his touch. He expected more.
"Gopi, look at me"
"You are not a trouble for me or mom or anyone else in the house. Believe me. If I was in your condition..."
She did not let him complete the sentence. She immediately covered his mouth, blocking the sentence and she nodded continuously, indicating a no. Ahem removed her hands, in his right hand and continued. He did not let go the hand.
"What I mean is..." ahem is short of words. Then he decided to take another approach.
"Gopi, think about mom, she loves you like a daughter. If she gets to know that you are thinking this way, she will feel bad. She will feel that you are not respecting her love for you. She will be very upset. Do you want to upset her?"
"No" the reply was instant. 'I know, you will fall for this' ahem gave himself a pat on his back mentally.
"So don't think about it anymore. Everyone in this house adores you. Kakiji, papaji, kakaki every one loves you. You are family. Understood?"
She nodded, whiping of the tears.
"Good, now don't keep any of those ideas.'
"Now, let me give you food, or else it will be cold"
She happily nodded. He started feeding her. 'No blushing. Is she still worried'.
Between the meals ahem told her about his schedule tomorrow. Just to remind himself and to assure her that he is not slipping anything in the job front and have planned enough time to take care of her. Hopefully she understands it, he wished. 'Still no blushing'
But this time, ahem was determined to get a blushing from her, no matter what. and if lucky a small shy smile. That would make his day complete. He raised his hands and touched the side of her lower lip with his thump as if to remove the tiny piece of food from there. That did the trick. Initially she was confused what he is doing; she eventually blushed and gave e shy smile. To hide the smile, she lowered her head. He lingered his finger for a few seconds to feel the lips, then he took it back. He got what he wanted, the smile the bush. He smiled. Her face was reddish and he just wanted to touch her lips once more. Phir kabhi. Not now.
By the time, he hit the bed, it was 10.30. She was already asleep. He made sure she is sleeping comfortably. The pain killer doctor suggested is making her sleep faster these days. He felt happy about what happened today. At least he could stop her from crying. He could help her resolve her doubts. He liked the little steps they are taking in their relationship. There is no issue of compatibility. She is everything which he is not and she would complement him in every way. The real challenge is knowing each other and healing the past wounds, which is really a long journey. Ahem signed. He turned to see her face once again and closed his eyes.
