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I've never actually drowned in my life. In fact, I'm a great swimmer- freestyle, in a pool or in open water. I can handle myself. But, I feel like I'm drowning tonight. I don't know where I'm going as I pull Manyata out of the Hotel suite and slam the door behind us. I don't know what she's saying as I head towards the elevator. All I can see is him. The kid. My kid? Looking so small in that big bed. And her. That bitch. That vindictive little bitch. Mina. The drowning feeling is pushed away by a new filling: Rage. Who the hell does she think she is? She's going to hid something like this from ME? Yuvraj Udayveer Singh? She thinks she get even with me? She's going to regret the day. I will ruin that bitch. Ruin her. I must look like I'm going to kill someone, because Manyata pulls my face towards hers and she isn't gentle about it. I would have expected to find some compassion, or empathy from one's significant other- but no, this is Manyata. She speaks her mind, and it's never to please me.
Manyata: Forget it Uday.
I raise my eyebrow and look at her, trying to figure out what she's referring to.
Manyata: Whatever you're concocting in your head- whatever bitterness you're letting boil in there, forget it.
Me: How can you say that Manyata? You think she's right? You think what she did was OK?
Manyata: I'm not saying that Uday- but I'm also saying that you don't know her reasons- you don't know her problems. You can't judge her.
Me: Whose side are you on anyways!
Manyata: I'm not on a side Uday. I'm being objective.
Me: Objective. Whatever. Women. You all stick together anyways.
That must have pissed her off, because she smacked my arm and forced me to look at her.
Manyata: How can you be so stupid Udayveer? This isn't about You. This isn't about Mina. This isn't about how you dislike each other- there is someone far more important involved. To you fail to see that? You have a son Uday. A four year old. How can you simply overlook that?
Is she out of her mind? The kid! The point isn't about the kid- I can deal with that; it's the fact that Mina- the vindictive little…- the point is that she lied to me.
Me: I can deal with the kid later Manyata- the point is that she lied- she intentionally hid this to get back at me for not wanting more of a relationship with her.
She looks like she's going to slap me. I can see the frustrated crease form on her forehead, and she looks like she wants to rub her temples. What I do?
Manyata: That "kid" is your SON Uday! Your son!
Me: I said I can deal with that later.
Manyata: YOU SHOULD HAVE DELT WITH IT FOUR YEARS AGO UDAY.
She's practically yelling, but when the elevator doors open to the main lobby, she composes herself and walks towards the main entrance, leaving me to follow her. Dealt with it four years ago? I don't know what I would have done four years ago. Her silence is icy as we sit inside the car and drive off, she refuses to feed my ego and tell me I'm right- Instead she's taken Mina's side on the entire issue. Women. Driving calms me, the fine European engineering of the vehicle hums in in sync with the beat of the music pumping through the speakers. I can't tell if it's soothing Manyata as well but I do know that this is not what I had expected for tonight. I got Manyata and lost part of her the same night- how is that even possible? I've got Manyata- whose going to be my wife in less than a year…and now apparently I have a son? How is that possible? We don't go back to the Ball as the night is obviously not going to be the same again, instead I drive up to our hotel and let the car run idly in the drive, holding my hand up to the concierge, signaling to wait. Sighing, I turn to look at Manyata, and she's already turned her face to look at me.
Me: How mad are you?
She rolls her eyes, and touches my face gently.
Manyata: Udayveer, I'm not mad per say- that isn't my place. I can't be mad at you for being with someone before me, any more than you can be mad at me for Akash.
Me: Then why were you yelling at me back there?
Manyata: Because you're wrong.
I can feel myself boiling up and she gives me a dirty look before placing her hand over my mouth, silencing me.
Manyata: Don't play the blame game Uday. You're wrong to threaten her, and trying to intimidate her. You're wrong to judge her and hold this against her. She is a mother above all else- show some respect. Even if you dislike her and the fact that she hid this from you, you can't treat her like that, and talk to her like that especially infront of your son.
Son. This word is really gnawing at me. I don't want kids – correction: I don't want a kid with Mina. I feel as if I've tainted something- this is something I should have had with manayta- first child, first son, first heir. Not with Mina. Not with someone I feel nothing for. How the hell could I have been so careless? Or stupid? Does it make me a bad person to not want anything to do with this child? He doesn't mean anything to me. But, I can tell he means everything to Mina. She was like a Lioness protecting her cub when we came into that room. Wild eyed, and strong. She would have harmed me or Manyata had we done anything to her son.
Her son. She loves her son, doesn't she? Then, I guess we'll just have to take him away. Because no one. Ever, gets away with trying to make a fool out of me.
I feel like smacking is face upside down and kicking him down there to make sure he can't reproduce ever again. Jerk. I can't tell what's going on inside his head, but I know whatever it is, isn't pretty. I love Uday. I can honestly say I've never loved anyone- with all their imperfections and flaws- the way that I love him. But at this very moment, I'd like to string him dead. He isn't curious about his child. He doesn't have any questions, concerns, love or wonder. Instead, he's pissed off that Mina hadn't told him – which under another circumstances would have been normal- but it's not just that, Uday views it as someone trying to up one on him- or make him look bad. As if Mina would use her son as a weapon. Impossible. I can't buy that. How can he be so blind? All I could see in that room was love. Love for her son. She loves him so much that I can't even see her using him to hurt Uday. That's the thing Uday doesn't understand: Uday doesn't matter enough to Mina for her to want to hurt him. She doesn't care anymore. She may dislike him- not that I blame her for that mind you- but she won't use Aditiya to hurt Uday.
Aditiya. Now I can see why I was so enchanted by his charm, and smile. He's like his father- makes everyone swoon at his feet. Looks wise, he's the best of both Mina and Uday: A beautiful child. When I had first seen him, I would have thought he was A white British child, pale face, blue eyes, and gorgeous dark hair: instead he just got the best genes of his mother and father. Andy. I like Aditiya better, I'll have to make sure Uday remembers to call his son by his proper name. Udayveer Singh. Aditiya Veer…Randhawa. He needs to convince Mina that his name needs to be changed. Aditiya is the heir to the empire. I feel I little connection to him now…as small odd bond. I'd bet anything that Aditiya doesn't know he's a prince. Then again, he's only 4. All of these thoughts running through my head, I don't even bother to notice that Uday hasn't spoken once since we've left the car and make our way to the elevators. Instead he takes us to our floor and stops in front of my door. Ma and Papa aren't here yet, and Jai is probably still out. There's another head ache. Jai. What am I going to do with Jai? How do I fix her? I shake my head, trying to take it all out of my mind- sleep won't come easy tonight.
His figners gently trace the now obvious bags under my eyes. His touch is soft, gentle and so unlike the individual the world has come to see him. But I see him. Our eyes lock, and in this moment the night seems endless and the conflict before seeping away.
Uday: It's been one hell of a night princess. Hasn't it?
I give in to the throbbing in my head and rest it on his shoulder. I don't care if I'm mad at him. I need to lay my head down. I need to close my eyes.
Me: I don't want to talk about this anymore Udayveer. It's obviously not going to seep into your thick skull.
He chuckles, and I shiver has he runs his hand up and down the line of my spine. His warm breath tickles my ear, and his lips send a jolt through my body has he places a soft kiss on my neck. This moment seems more intimate then anything we've ever done before, and yet, our lips hadn't even touched.
But they did. They always do. We fit together perfectly,
like two pieces of a puzzle completing the most exuberant portrait. I reach up
into his hair, and my hands get lost, the soft, thick locks and pull him
closer. I don't know what it is, perhaps the adrenaline from the night is
catching up with me, perhaps it's the fact that I've never been so daring. Or
maybe, the wait is over. I can't believe myself, and yet I can't help myself.
Are princesses supposed to unbutton prince charming's shirt in the middle of a
Well, I just did. His smooth chest is warm beneath my palms, and as I run my hands over, I can feel how alive his body is: the rise and fall of his chest, the rhythm of his heartbeat. Uday. That's what I'm saying. His name, breathless and just as seamless as the air I breathe. Pinned up against the door, my legs around his waist, I feel almost guilty- but he kisses me again and I erase the thought out of my head.
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The Jainandini Chronicles| NEW UPDATE| PART 9| PG. 45
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