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The Udayveer Chronicles| NEW UPDATE|PART 26 PAGE 137 (Page 119)

Roses_ZaYa Senior Member
Roses_ZaYa
Roses_ZaYa

Joined: 20 May 2012
Posts: 495

Posted: 23 July 2012 at 7:00am | IP Logged
OMFG!!! THAT WAS AWESOME BUT I
HOPE THERE'S NO BARRIER BETWEEN MANVEER CAUSE OF MINA.

reeha...k IF-Rockerz
reeha...k
reeha...k

Joined: 05 September 2006
Posts: 7556

Posted: 23 July 2012 at 12:13pm | IP Logged

Re: Special Update on Page 114

 

I don't know if you all saw or read it, and if you haven't please give it a look and read over!

-Mais- was kind enough to give you guys a special treat- or teaser- while I was busy with my school work (One Essay down, One Presentation down: And one essay Left -_- )
So, our resident Hacker- Here is my take:

 

I loved it. Even when I knew that this Udayveer was not the Udayveer I had created with my words: They are still two sides of the same coin.

 

At the same time, I can see this transition you made: It's true. Udayveer has fallen for Manyata and didn't heed Aura's advice (not a fan of the name: Makes me think of ghosts! LOL!)

One thing that did surprise me was your articulate description of Sex: or post Sex. I didn't expect that from you- it was done gracefully and with extreme taste. I LOVED it!
You're a fantastic writer, and I've never understood why you haven't ever pursued to COMPLETE and FF.

Another thing I love about your writing is the Use of these : " "
I can't use quotation marks, I never get the flow right or the transitions. Hence why I have a script text:
[b] Name [/ b]: Dialogue

I personally, prefer your method- it's much more clean and succinct.

 

Overall: I rate it a 10/10. You've captured Uday at the perfect age and in the perfect mood.

 

<3

 

PS: Sorry about the late response L

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lostmymusic.

Piggies Senior Member
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Joined: 10 January 2012
Posts: 755

Posted: 23 July 2012 at 12:27pm | IP Logged
WOW!ClapClapClap
What a great update Reeha! You write so magnificently. 
I LOVE to read UVC's. This is the first time I'm posting in your thread. I had been a silent reader ever since you started UVC's.
They have been getting better every single time.
Do update your JNC's.Smile
Love those as well. You portray the emotions of every character whether it'd be a minor or a major so well. I'm left amazed at how well you write in every update. You should really consider writing a book or something!Big smile
Can't wait to read the next part and see what happens between Mina,UV,& Manyata.
P.S. : Thank you Mais for writing the Special Update. You both are VERY talented.
P.S.S.: I realized that Andy was Uday's son when they first met at the airport especially when you said something about his smile.

Love,
PiggiesEmbarrassed


Edited by Piggies - 23 July 2012 at 1:20pm
reeha...k IF-Rockerz
reeha...k
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Joined: 05 September 2006
Posts: 7556

Posted: 23 July 2012 at 12:51pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Mais-

Before i go on my long comment, READ MY SPECIAL UPDATE YOU WITCH! :@ WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ME HACKING YOUR FF WHEN YOU DIDNT EVEN READ IT!? Ya know, I was honestly counting on some ManVeer separation thats why I had racked my brains to write that flashback. Though my UV was a lot different from yours :p mine was colder, royal and too close to the UV of the initial episodes of the show. Yours tou is completely outta this world lolz. I mean... Done and Done! Got it all down pat! LOL! You're comment for your update is up. Personally, I can see the difference- you're UV was like the Old UV. ; )

...inna love? Oh Yah. He's totally Inna Love. Like Really, really in love. I love Bad Boys, but there's something about watching a badboy fall helplessly in love. It's Karma. Of the best kind ; )

This brings to my comment (i know i had resed a spot but meh, too lazy :p) most of the update was fillerish and too cheesy. But in a cutesy way. Some moments were duds but some shone the brightest!  Yes! I know. Filler was necessary. I had to put in Aditya. But SLOWLY. Very "innocent" meetings- which wouldn't leave people to assume much with his presence. I personally, would have loved to have just the ball- but there needed to be context leading up to it :/

Part 21 - loved the jealous UV at the airport. Hahaha, UV jealous of J for stealing away M? Too precious! Adored the way he was being jealous and how M caught onto that. The first encounter with Andy (dun like that name much, his real name is just wow! I know! I've always LOVED the name Aditya. It's one of my favourites. Here's the thing Maisy, out here in the West, when you go to school or even out in public, people always have a hard time pronoucning our names. Aditya is turned into ADEE TEE YA. (Poor kid in my grade 7 class, his name was BUTCHERED) hence why there are tons of nick-names. Andy just seemed like the most obvious choice. But, I'd like to give myself a pat on the back *Pats self on Back* For Aditya Veer Randhawa (or Singh) It's a mind Blasting name I tell you.) was nice. He didnt like the kid, the kid didnt like him and M totally fell for the kid. Someone to put UV into place, thats gotta be cherished. And here it is a 4 year old. My alarm bells didnt ring at this point and i brushed it off just as a random encounter The magic of Fillers! LOL! That's why there were spaced out and with other stuff ; ) 
OMG! The triplets part was hilarious! Just when UV was getting worried about M not wanting to commit to him, here comes M acting all authoratative! Poor brunettes :p was laughing so hard at UV's happiness that M was jealous! Awesome! Didnt like the bedroom part much and the bathroom part was okayish. Loved the kiss though! The happy end tone to the chapter was also cool. Filler filler filler. It's icing. My readers like Icing :P LOL!

Part 22 - depressed J? Me no likey! I guess i will have to hack the JNCs as well Go for it! I have to write it up. I should warn you JNC is going to become DRAMA Central. Oh Boy. . A scenario is jumping in my head. And this depressed J who is too scared to leave M alone with UV, the heart goes out to her She has it in the back of her head what happened to her could happen to Manyata: The heart break. It's a good bonding point for the two sisters. . Oh she despises UV and i love it! Which means she can be possible kanta in manveer in the future but meh, i dun care Perish the thought! JN is GOOD here! I personally think one of the failings of the Show was NOT Utalizing JN's potentional EAT THAT S.A!! At last we know why M isnt happy with UV. He didnt proposed. Loved the girls' outing and the J-U banter. Lolz, Unnzie told UV his mistake, no surprise there. The M giving Adi (i will call him that, andy is bleh! Be my guest! Andy is literally called Aditiya by Aman, and Mina refers to him as baby, sweetheart etc. only Aditiya when she's mad- as you'll soon find out) UV's pancakes was awesome! Bechara UV! :D bache se kaise larega? :p  LOL! I'm looking forward to writing about these two.
khair, the library part was nice. Maria was too sweet. Though i found UV opening up to Maria all these years ago a lil weird but whatever rocks your boat. UV works well with girls- especially little ones. I could do a flashback, but it's in my head. And imagin him telling her the story with a hint of cynisism.  A chubby UV? Hahahaha, reminds me of AK's old photos :p golu mollu! So anyway, nothing much happened...fillerish :p LOL! I know! very filler! Again, needed to introduce Aditya without anyone getting suspicious. AND I got the Idea from AK's old photos ; )

part 23 - the bomb! Loved how you just jumped on the oxford ball! The first paragraph was just wow! The description of the selfish relationship everyone shared was so bang on! Defo my most fav part of the huuugggeee update! I could so picture UV standing with a wine glass and M entering the hall. It was so magical! Truly beautiful! M's nervousness, her worries, that little fear felt so real. And that small kiss was magical.

"lets give them something to talk about."

i just melted there! M's confidence after that was pleasing. Their encounter with the Randhawas was so coool! The bite of the words, the prick of the tone, the coldness surrounding them; i could literally feel it. Seriously enjoyed reading it!  I liked writing it. I'm trying to humanize the Randhawas. I truely want the readers to NOT hate them. Hence why you will see two sides of them: The Rich, Aloof, Socialites and Business Tycoon. And then the natural, mother, grandfather, father-daughter tandum.

Balconies are my fav! You made it all the more special. How he just came and kissed her scar. Ufff! So beautiful...! The proposal was awesome! Her worries and fears and his reassurance that the world didnt matter. Easy said than done my boy but whatever. Love can make anyone go crazy :p i love you for making him propose her with a necklace of the old ring. I just love necklaces! And she said yes! Yaaay!

M in the washroom and Mina following her talking on the phone, thats when the alarm went off. I just knew that something is wrong. And surely it was! Adi is UV's son! Dun dun dun! Loved the way Mina was shielding him and UV just wanted to see him.  Mina has her flaws, but she is a damn good mother- you'll find out why soon enough. Hated the way he pushed her away. I just could not connect with UV's eagerness of taking his son away. Is he crazy? Outta his mind! I think this needs to be cleared up: Uday doesn't want to BOND with his son: He hates being LIED to. That something that is "his" wasn't GIVEN to him. To him, Aditiya is a possession. ALSO, there are stages (Spoiler.) Right now it's EAGERNESS, Then it's ANGER; then It's RESENTMENT; then it's CARELESSNESS. There are stages. Trust me. UV has a lot to digest. This is his root reaction- not the long term onw.  And whats with the challenging tone?! Someone Lied to the Prince. Someone dared Hides something that was HIS. Mina will explain this nicely No, i am not saying this in context of manveer but i just could not comprehend his reaction. M looked too much like a mary sue standing there. She felt unneeded Oh yes. This is Manyata's role. She is the perfect bridge, but doesn't see it. . Would have loved it if the confrontation happened between VeerNa LOL! Are Uday and Mina VEERNA? LOL! only. Khair, lets see how you shape it all up in the future.

All in all, the update was worth the wait. Lolz, sorry for nagging you too much :p but i just love it! Anyway, hope you liked this looong detailed comment! My fingers are aching from all this typing on the phone. PHONE! Are you crazy! LOL! Hope that's a suitable response love <3
P.s - i am serious about the JNC hacking -_-'  I'm serious too: Go for it :D
BTW: I should mention in the JNCs there won't be any JN flashbacks, but I've decided on Yash parallels

p.p.s - all the best for ur assignment! :D  Meh, I think it went well enough o.O

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lostmymusic.

reeha...k IF-Rockerz
reeha...k
reeha...k

Joined: 05 September 2006
Posts: 7556

Posted: 23 July 2012 at 12:55pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Mais-



just a hunch :p

ok, actually that enraged sex session had me thinking. I mean, UV wasnt in his senses. He was furious. Anger kills the little grey cells and gives birth to troubles. In his case, a kid :p also, something similar to this happened in a nora roberts story that i had read. Only, there the girl had twins :p but i remebered that just now. Honestly, a kid felt like a perfect conflict at this point of the story. You're right!  Sometimes a kid is the perfect conflict. I love Nora Robert's books- I can't remember which one you're refering to, sometimes they all just blur the line and seem like one !

hope u liked my jumbo comment! Polo is busy with her life.  I LOVED your jumbo comment! I had read it a while back, but finally got time to reply to it now! I'm not like you, I have to type from my PC, the phone is too much of a hassel!

Just a request - dont make M like those sacrificing satti savitris of television. Hope from some sense from your side! :D I think like any self respecting Indian Nari's she will TRY. Key word TRY. It ain't happening though ; )
reeha...k IF-Rockerz
reeha...k
reeha...k

Joined: 05 September 2006
Posts: 7556

Posted: 23 July 2012 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sweetshab

OMG!!!
Wat a fantastic update...correction updates;)
u actually did it...
Manyat n UV were actually getting knw each other..manyata accepted his proposal just mins /hours back nd u threw a bomb at us..ahan it isnt inny minny bomb but missile..
Awww :O andy is his son o_O

fantabulous update dont keep us waiting
Did i mention i loveddd the updates :)
Cont soon
Thank you! LOL! Yes, it's kind of a missile isn't it? especially in Uday's perfectly planned out life.
 
reeha...k IF-Rockerz
reeha...k
reeha...k

Joined: 05 September 2006
Posts: 7556

Posted: 23 July 2012 at 1:01pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Inkpen4877


Honestly? I didn't see that coming until the washroom bit- Mina being gone for a year after their break up? Yeah I just thought she was in an asylum because she tried to kill herself...Your idea was much better Smile

btw- I actually think the forum wouldn't close down even after DEK ended, I mean Shubh Vivah's forum is still up- and running- granted its pretty empty...but I think you just can't hit the Chaska meter anymore...
Asylum, hmm. Makes sense. You'll be getting more Mina's side of things later on. It's part of the bigger picture.
Thank you! I'll have to keep that in mind! That means I can post everything here ! Perfect, if worst comes to worst I could just keep a spare thread in the FF section for future references!
reeha...k IF-Rockerz
reeha...k
reeha...k

Joined: 05 September 2006
Posts: 7556

Posted: 23 July 2012 at 1:03pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by mahi0809

Stupendous work Reeha... just finished reading all of the chapters of this wonderful FF... it truly ROCKS!!

Do update soon, I wanna see if Manyata still wants to be with him or not and what happens to Mina cause she would never give up her son to anyone
LOL! Wow, that was some serious reading! All 23 Parts?!
Manyata and Uday are always the end game- I'd never make them separate. Trust me.

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