Posted: 19 December 2011 at 8:46pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by bidz
Originally posted by napstermonster
You guys have no idea how hard it is for me to post a shake of the head in response to something HeadOverHeels AND momma1128 are agreed on, but I seem to be in a contrary mood today.
I think almost all of ASR's hurts are self inflicted, in most cases the hurt comes from a painful past, but right now I don't feel that he deserves my sympathy, not this time. What has he lost, really? A woman he does not love, while the one he's crazy about just joined his extended family. How is he inconvenienced? La is leaving him in the smoothest way possible under the circumstances, this is the cleanest breakup I've ever seen in my life.
Why is he feeling guilty? Because until a day ago didn't he even clearly see his girlfriend as an person deserving of his consideration, and NOT deserving of his indifference and manipulations. When he realized this, he cut things off with her, and then comforted her for breaking his heart.
He has been mentally cheating on La since Khushi fell into his arms, because throughout their interactions, he has never not been La's boyfriend. He is feeling uncomfortable, guilty, stressed. Even regretful. He is of course, doing the right thing, in caring about the effects of this devastation on a girl who's done him no wrong, and who is giving him his freedom.
But he is not losing someone he is in love with, nor watching someone he loves announce to the world the demise of their relationship. He is getting his way, again, he is free again from the bonds he himself created, and there are no consequences for him to face, again.
There never seems to be any consequences for him, the only thing that boomerangs back on him in the form of regret is in anything that involves Khushi. Nani was right, in saying his actions reverberate on everyone, but he does not see this to be true, not even now, when his family is devastated by also losing anew member, who they've come to accept and like for HIS sake. The whispers, Anjali's despair, even the taunts Nani and Mamiji will deal with-. He doesn't worry about it.
The family should not be stroking him on the back, asking him if he's okay, because he made this decision, and the person they should be feeling bad for is the puppet who's strings the entire clan all took a turn at yanking - Lavaniya. If they indulge this man further, by running after him with arms wide open, it would be a slap across the face of the person he's hurt, and who deserves their indignation right now. He should NOT be "thik" right now. And sympathy is out of place when you have been unsympathetic to everyone else but self indulgent to yourself.
Head over heals, I think the above post coherently makes the points I want to say. I do agree that no one should have to live their lives per others expectations. Somehow I feel that Arnav has always lived the way he has wanted. He has always indulged himself. Even today, the family accepted his decision. However, in Khushi's case she was forced etc...So, I do sympathize with Khushi. Don't get me wrong. I love ASR's character. Like others I am obsessed with him. But sympathy from family members just because he decides not to use LA anymore? That doesn't sit with me. I agree that the family should have tried to understand him and his feelings towards LA. They are all blind. That I will give, but from their point of view they have accepted LA in his life, considered her a part of their family, so they are heart broken as well for losing her. So, I think in this context anger is justified. As nani said his decision affects everyone in the family.
I get your point on how this decision will impact them, since there is some fondness shown towards La from the family, and of course they are hurt that she is leaving. You're right about that, and it didn't strike me at the time. But, I really hope it's because of his overall attitude towards the engagement which has annoyed them, and not the fact that he has called it off, or has wronged La by breaking it off kwim? Oh well, we can wait and see what happens. I just see how KKG/ASR are very similar in many ways, although the choices etc. they make are worlds apart. It's still early, and I need more coffee to get this brain to function.
Thank you everyone for the great discussion. It's nice to see difference of opinion actually discussed like this for a change.