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Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

Another Similarity Arnav/Khushi (Page 3)

HeadOverHeels Goldie
HeadOverHeels
HeadOverHeels

Joined: 25 October 2011
Posts: 2108

Posted: 19 December 2011 at 10:44am | IP Logged
Originally posted by napstermonster

You guys have no idea how hard it is for me to post a shake of the head in response to something HeadOverHeels AND momma1128 are agreed on, but I seem to be in a contrary mood today.

I think almost all of ASR's hurts are self inflicted, in most cases the hurt comes from a painful past, but right now I don't feel that he deserves my sympathy, not this time. What has he lost, really? A woman he does not love, while the one he's crazy about just joined his extended family. How is he inconvenienced? La is leaving him in the smoothest way possible under the circumstances, this is the cleanest breakup I've ever seen in my life.

Why is he feeling guilty? Because until a day ago didn't he even clearly see his girlfriend as an person deserving of his consideration, and NOT deserving of his indifference and manipulations. When he realized this, he cut things off with her, and then comforted her for breaking his heart.

He has been mentally cheating on La since Khushi fell into his arms, because throughout their interactions, he has never not been La's boyfriend. He is feeling uncomfortable, guilty, stressed. Even regretful. He is of course, doing the right thing, in caring about the effects of this devastation on a girl who's done him no wrong, and who is giving him his freedom. 

But he is not losing someone he is in love with, nor watching someone he loves announce to the world the demise of their relationship. He is getting his way, again, he is free again from the bonds he himself created, and there are no consequences for him to face, again.

There never seems to be any consequences for him, the only thing that boomerangs back on him in the form of regret is in anything that involves Khushi. Nani was right, in saying his actions reverberate on everyone, but he does not see this to be true, not even now, when his family is devastated by also losing anew member, who they've come to accept and like for HIS sake. The whispers, Anjali's despair, even the taunts Nani and Mamiji will deal with-. He doesn't worry about it.

The family should not be stroking him on the back, asking him if he's okay, because he made this decision, and the person they should be feeling bad for is the puppet who's strings the entire clan all took a turn at yanking - Lavaniya. If they indulge this man further,  by running after him with arms wide open, it would be a slap across the face of the person he's hurt, and who deserves their indignation right now. He should NOT be "thik" right now. And sympathy is out of place when you have been unsympathetic to everyone else but self indulgent to yourself.

  
Ah my love, I dreaded this day would one day come. Wink

Not disagreeing with you about ASR and all that he's done, maybe on the whys, but not the actions themselves. It's his family's insistence from the start (Nani) and their reaction today which got to me. They never respected his right to decide he did not want to marry. Nani insisted, then insisted some more... It was, if I remember correctly Angali who brought La over to the house first for a visit. They seem to come from the same mindset as Bua, "Who cares for your happiness? Just do what's expected of you. We don't care how or with whom." Not very different from what Khushi went through with her family.. They just didn't care, keeping their "face" to the world perfect. I don't approve of that and stand by his adult right and constant cry that it's HIS life.. If they had exercised some control, perhaps there would have been no need for him to later exercise any kwim? First blood and all that.


And, not for a moment do I think he was indulgent. Did he bring La to live there to make a point? Yes. Did he announce his engagement to her to make a point? Yes. Snap decisions which he later regretted, and it showed. But, it was not at all indulgent, just erratic.

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spsharmilanapstermonsterSStephyzainzasunflower52Infofan

ravenheart IF-Dazzler
ravenheart
ravenheart

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Posts: 3211

Posted: 19 December 2011 at 10:47am | IP Logged
@Napstermonster - agree with you on this subject.  Your last line is apt.
 
My empathy is with La today on what she might have gone through when Arnav made the announcement that they are no longer a couple.
 
Arnav is where he is because of his actions.  It is self inflicted.  He has been extremely selfish in his relationship with La - thinking only about his wishes and not hers - be it announcing their engagement (I didn't see him proposing to La) or fixing the date & then breaking it off. As for his family not sympathising with him - why shoud they?  It has been his decision throughout that they bowed to.   
 


Edited by savi-tan - 19 December 2011 at 10:47am
LadyLaLa IF-Rockerz
LadyLaLa
LadyLaLa

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Posted: 19 December 2011 at 10:47am | IP Logged
A very good point Clap Often in our cultures we think of family's honour and respect rather than focusing on the individual who is going through the pain..

Good observation.
music1 IF-Dazzler
music1
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Posts: 3368

Posted: 19 December 2011 at 10:48am | IP Logged
No offense to u Head over Heels,but I totally agree with what napstermonster says.He was using Lavanya to get to Khushi.May be he is feeling all guilty now BUT what he did cannot be justified.Yes his character is slowly coming out of his shell but whats done is done right?I am not bashing ASR,but rather expressing my opinion of his past deeds.Everybody commits mistakes,his were little harsh,more like that of a business man .But  he ended his relationship with Lavanya  like a true gentleman.I applaud him for thatClap
hukshila IF-Rockerz
hukshila
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Posts: 6843

Posted: 19 December 2011 at 10:51am | IP Logged
similarities between people bring them closer what i have seen in reality 
DiamondLife IF-Sizzlerz
DiamondLife
DiamondLife

Joined: 30 January 2011
Posts: 15109

Posted: 19 December 2011 at 10:54am | IP Logged
EXACTLY THIS POINT I SAID YESTERDAY IN SOME POST..THAT i have a complain to Cvs that ...who will understand his emotions...at least one person to show stand by his opinion and says u did right by stopping sagai
bidz IF-Dazzler
bidz
bidz

Joined: 13 September 2011
Posts: 4955

Posted: 19 December 2011 at 10:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by napstermonster

You guys have no idea how hard it is for me to post a shake of the head in response to something HeadOverHeels AND momma1128 are agreed on, but I seem to be in a contrary mood today.

I think almost all of ASR's hurts are self inflicted, in most cases the hurt comes from a painful past, but right now I don't feel that he deserves my sympathy, not this time. What has he lost, really? A woman he does not love, while the one he's crazy about just joined his extended family. How is he inconvenienced? La is leaving him in the smoothest way possible under the circumstances, this is the cleanest breakup I've ever seen in my life.

Why is he feeling guilty? Because until a day ago didn't he even clearly see his girlfriend as an person deserving of his consideration, and NOT deserving of his indifference and manipulations. When he realized this, he cut things off with her, and then comforted her for breaking his heart.

He has been mentally cheating on La since Khushi fell into his arms, because throughout their interactions, he has never not been La's boyfriend. He is feeling uncomfortable, guilty, stressed. Even regretful. He is of course, doing the right thing, in caring about the effects of this devastation on a girl who's done him no wrong, and who is giving him his freedom. 

But he is not losing someone he is in love with, nor watching someone he loves announce to the world the demise of their relationship. He is getting his way, again, he is free again from the bonds he himself created, and there are no consequences for him to face, again.

There never seems to be any consequences for him, the only thing that boomerangs back on him in the form of regret is in anything that involves Khushi. Nani was right, in saying his actions reverberate on everyone, but he does not see this to be true, not even now, when his family is devastated by also losing anew member, who they've come to accept and like for HIS sake. The whispers, Anjali's despair, even the taunts Nani and Mamiji will deal with-. He doesn't worry about it.

The family should not be stroking him on the back, asking him if he's okay, because he made this decision, and the person they should be feeling bad for is the puppet who's strings the entire clan all took a turn at yanking - Lavaniya. If they indulge this man further,  by running after him with arms wide open, it would be a slap across the face of the person he's hurt, and who deserves their indignation right now. He should NOT be "thik" right now. And sympathy is out of place when you have been unsympathetic to everyone else but self indulgent to yourself.

  


Head over heals, I think the above post coherently makes the points I want to say. I do agree that no one should have to live their lives per others expectations. Somehow I feel that Arnav has always lived the way he has wanted. He has always indulged himself. Even today, the family accepted his decision. However, in Khushi's case she was forced etc...So, I do sympathize with Khushi. Don't get me wrong. I love ASR's character. Like others I am obsessed with him. But sympathy from family members just because he decides not to use LA anymore? That doesn't sit with me. I agree that the family should have tried to understand him and his feelings towards LA. They are all blind. That I will give, but from their point of view they have accepted LA in his life, considered her a part of their family, so they are heart broken as well for losing her. So, I think in this context anger is justified. As nani said his decision affects everyone in the family.

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zainza IF-Dazzler
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Posts: 3306

Posted: 19 December 2011 at 11:03am | IP Logged
i agree with HeadoverHeels.i feel that La has inflicted this upon herself.when she came to RM she didn't expect marriage, she came to live in with ASR, it was her own choice, her own decision.and how could she not sense it that ASR was never in love with her, it was always her.she was so intent on getting what she wanted that she blinded herself into sacrifising so much. I cant blame ASR for that. And he is also a human being, once he realised this was unfair he was man enough to end it before it created more hurt and more problems. And all this time ASR didnt really think La has actually changed, he had been taking her for the selfish (as selfish as himself)La he knew in the beginning of the serial.he didnt realise that the changes ran deeper than appearances(the clothes and all).thats why he was surprised she was keeping it quiet for the family's sake. he had thought la would just take it as one relationship ending (a normal thing these days among people who take relationships lightly, as they had portrayed la and ASR as such in the beginning).
im not sure if i have explained my point well.

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