Posted: 19 December 2011 at 10:44am | IP Logged
Originally posted by napstermonster
You guys have no idea how hard it is for me to post a shake of the head in response to something HeadOverHeels AND momma1128 are agreed on, but I seem to be in a contrary mood today.
I think almost all of ASR's hurts are self inflicted, in most cases the hurt comes from a painful past, but right now I don't feel that he deserves my sympathy, not this time. What has he lost, really? A woman he does not love, while the one he's crazy about just joined his extended family. How is he inconvenienced? La is leaving him in the smoothest way possible under the circumstances, this is the cleanest breakup I've ever seen in my life.
Why is he feeling guilty? Because until a day ago didn't he even clearly see his girlfriend as an person deserving of his consideration, and NOT deserving of his indifference and manipulations. When he realized this, he cut things off with her, and then comforted her for breaking his heart.
He has been mentally cheating on La since Khushi fell into his arms, because throughout their interactions, he has never not been La's boyfriend. He is feeling uncomfortable, guilty, stressed. Even regretful. He is of course, doing the right thing, in caring about the effects of this devastation on a girl who's done him no wrong, and who is giving him his freedom.
But he is not losing someone he is in love with, nor watching someone he loves announce to the world the demise of their relationship. He is getting his way, again, he is free again from the bonds he himself created, and there are no consequences for him to face, again.
There never seems to be any consequences for him, the only thing that boomerangs back on him in the form of regret is in anything that involves Khushi. Nani was right, in saying his actions reverberate on everyone, but he does not see this to be true, not even now, when his family is devastated by also losing anew member, who they've come to accept and like for HIS sake. The whispers, Anjali's despair, even the taunts Nani and Mamiji will deal with-. He doesn't worry about it.
The family should not be stroking him on the back, asking him if he's okay, because he made this decision, and the person they should be feeling bad for is the puppet who's strings the entire clan all took a turn at yanking - Lavaniya. If they indulge this man further, by running after him with arms wide open, it would be a slap across the face of the person he's hurt, and who deserves their indignation right now. He should NOT be "thik" right now. And sympathy is out of place when you have been unsympathetic to everyone else but self indulgent to yourself.
Ah my love, I dreaded this day would one day come.
Not disagreeing with you about ASR and all that he's done, maybe on the whys, but not the actions themselves. It's his family's insistence from the start (Nani) and their reaction today which got to me. They never respected his right to decide he did not want to marry. Nani insisted, then insisted some more... It was, if I remember correctly Angali who brought La over to the house first for a visit. They seem to come from the same mindset as Bua, "Who cares for your happiness? Just do what's expected of you. We don't care how or with whom." Not very different from what Khushi went through with her family.. They just didn't care, keeping their "face" to the world perfect. I don't approve of that and stand by his adult right and constant cry that it's HIS life.. If they had exercised some control, perhaps there would have been no need for him to later exercise any kwim? First blood and all that.
And, not for a moment do I think he was indulgent. Did he bring La to live there to make a point? Yes. Did he announce his engagement to her to make a point? Yes. Snap decisions which he later regretted, and it showed. But, it was not at all indulgent, just erratic.