Chandragupta Maurya

India-Forums

   
Chandragupta Maurya
Chandragupta Maurya

FF: Mysterious Murder at Manampur; Updt-Pg 44;5/2 (Page 12)

Amor. IF-Stunnerz
Amor.
Amor.

Joined: 27 August 2008
Posts: 41175

Posted: 23 December 2011 at 4:08am | IP Logged
read both parts
awesome start
its intresting to read
continue soon

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

swethasyam08

swethasyam08 IF-Rockerz
swethasyam08
swethasyam08

Joined: 15 June 2011
Posts: 8762

Posted: 23 December 2011 at 7:26am | IP Logged
Originally posted by polly_03

@ swetha :
              read your update just now, it was quite good and the suspense built up quite well. & the poems were really goodClap, i read detective stories in bengali by Satyajit Roy, and even there i find such poems that form the leading clues to a case. you can also do like that if you wantSmile. now regarding your update, i think you still have problems with punctuation marks. for example ( i'm copy -pasting it here ) :
 

They entered the Police station and presented their card. 

The Chief inspector Amar Ahluwalia received them saying u no need to introduce ur self. I was expecting u! How are you?

The Chief inspector Amar Ahluwalia recieved them saying : u dont need to introduce urself. I was expecting u ! How are you ?
Both of them introduced to chief inspector.

I'm glad that u have come. I'm not sure whether it will help u or not but I thought of mentioning it to u.

put this inside " " signs, since this is a single dialog without the name of the speaker.
 
and this line
 
Amar ji: I have made enquiries with the photo u have sent but none have seen him but... after a pause a week ago a strange man appeared in the town.
 
put after a pause within ( ) since it is a halt in the speech and not part of the dialog.

Polly first of all thank u dear for correcting. Hug

but this time the problem was with copy past or editing or i don't know. i tried to edit it many times but it didn't edit at all. i was tired of doing it for some time n left. Cry

the pause one i have highlighted in ( ). all the above mentioned ones were taken care but still Cry

will try to put later and see. hope it may work as my laptop had good sleep last night LOL

thank u all for ur comments n liking.

Chapter 3 is almost ready. will be posting it in an hour or two... 


The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

Moner_Radiotiny15

swethasyam08 IF-Rockerz
swethasyam08
swethasyam08

Joined: 15 June 2011
Posts: 8762

Posted: 23 December 2011 at 8:22am | IP Logged


Chapter 3: The Victory Group

 

The University Club located near the Lucknow University is well known club.

The head of the University Club is Mrs. Sudha Nair. She is a classical dancer but now she gives shows only for any charity or any cause. She knows each and every one who visits to the club. She is very kind woman.

The club is always crowded with students and also professors too. It contains a Cafe at ground floor, and 2nd and 3rd floors are for few kinds of indoor games like bowling, billiards etc.

Students do part time jobs in the club as waitress, some as incharge of club and the indoor games depending on the need.

It will be crowded after 7'o clock in the evening as most of them will be back from work.

Professors of Psychology and History - Raj Aryan n Deepak Basu visits to the place daily. They both are good friends. One more professor who was new also accompanies them.

 

It was 7.30 P.M. A group of students arrived and the waitress made them to sit comfortably. They were the famous Victory Group students.

Every one present there started to chat abt them.

 

The Convo between the Professors

 

Deepak ji: What a gr8 evening. Seeing this batch after so very long time.

Raj ji: Yes seems all r busy these days.

New Professor (NP):  (Anxiously) Who are those students gathered there. U both seemed to be so happy seeing them.

Raj ji: They are the Victory group students. Well they formed into a group and gave the name as victory group themselves. They used to give various performances during their college days and are very famous. They never had a feeling of Jr. n Sr. at all.

Deepak Ji: What a batch were they. They used to fight, crack jokes, perform stage shows what not. If their friend / friends are in trouble they stood beside them and solved the problem. Such a good chaps are all. Though they are from different background and took up different careers they still are the same. No pride of what they are. How much we ever say about them, it will be less.

 

NP: Seems very good and interesting group. I would like to know abt them in more detailed way. Can u plz tell me who is the man over there in Light blue shirt and a handsome look.

 

Raj ji: That guy! Rohit Kashyap ' He is Famous Music composer. He likes experimenting in music. He gave many stage shows and released few of his albums too. Though he is friendly, very unpredictable mentality. His mood suddenly changes at times. No body understands what's wrong with him. Very ambitious abt his career. He is engaged to be married to Kushi ' a Sculptor, the daughter of Former minister. Girls used to fall for him. U can understand that from his looks.

 

NP: Ok. The guy next to him. He has a good smile & is tall. Looks handsome in that casuals.

 

Raj ji: He is Siddharth Khanna ' The Famous Critic. I think u read few of his articles which were published in college magazine recently. He criticizes his friends' works too at times. A Very straight forward person. His friends don't like this attitude as it hurts the feelings of others. I think recently he is engaged or he is abt to get engaged to the girl u r seeing right there in her Black dress and good looks.

 

She is Charu. She is the Incharge of the club and doing her PG through distance education in Economics. A Very kind and fun loving girl; Almost right hand to Sudha ji. Loves to watch movies and singing. She makes new banners for the club to attract people and make them feel that they are in different world. Her banners are very famous. U can understand how hard she works to look this club so beautiful all around.

(NP looks all through the walls and see nice banners with different ideas of each are pasted to the walls.)

 

NP: Seems interesting girl and her work is just awesome. The guy with spectacles and sitting calmly. Who is he? He looks very reserved type.

 

Raj ji: Yes. U guessed it right. He is Sumit Bhosle ' The Famous Architect. Most of his works succeeded. Good natured person but very reserved. Don't speak much. He works for many big companies. And a workaholic.

The rest of the 3 young men were their classmates. Don't remember them exactly but were seen with them all the time.

 

NP: The girl in the pink dress. Looks like she is very naughty by appearance. Who is she?

(Hearing this, the both professors started laughing loudly)

 

Deepak ji: That girl! U have guessed absolutely right. She is indeed a naughty girl. She is Jayathi ' Fiancee of Aditya, a Detective police man. She is a Stage Director cum Play Writer. She takes most of the cases handled by Aditya and present them as shows in the theater ofcourse by adding her own spices. She is planning to open a theater of her own along with some other friends. Very naughty and jovial girl. Once the principal was on his rounds saw this girl teasing a jr. of hers (Though it was her friends idea she was caught). She got left and right from him. Later she never did such things. And her friends got left n right from her.

(All laughs again.)

 

NP: Why are u laughing at this so much. Is there any thing else.

 

Deepak ji: Actually we were there when the incident happened. We heard abt her but we go to c live on that day. It was really funny. She almost teased the jr. when the principal was behind her and her friends ran away to the class.

 

NP: That's really very funny. They almost booked her in front of the prinicipal. That tall girl beside her. Who is she?

 

Deepak ji: She is Arunita. My research student. Fiancee of Shashank, a Reporter in his own office. Happy go lucky girl always discusses abt different and interesting topics with her lover for which he will be publishing it in his newspaper. It benefits both though.

(For this all the 3 professors laughs out loudly.)

 

She is interested in Indian history. Loves to read as many books as she can to learn different things. Tries to grasp the knowledge from where ever she can.

 

NP: Wow looks u are very much proud to say that she is ur student. Aren't u???

(and gave a sheepish look.) Who is the girl beside her. By appearance she looks jovial but not much. She observes a lot. Am I right?

 

Deepak ji: Yes Absolutely. She is Swetha - Research Assistant in Psychology. She is working under Raj. A workaholic and always will be busy with her books and laptops but love to hang around with her friends when ever she get time. She is engaged to be married to I think Syam Prasad who has his own publication office. Its her hobby that she observes more each and every person around and tries to read their mind. Most of her works really help in the research of Raj. One more habit of hers I think she writes in her diary what ever she feels like different from routine during her observation.

 

NP: That's really a good thing she is doing. The girl next to her. Looks she is of fun loving, caring type girl.

 

Deepak ji: She is Ashi ' Also was a Pyschology student. A very good friend of Swetha. They are always seen hanging around in the caf in the weekends mostly. Took up teaching in a local. As u said she is fun loving and very much a caring girl.

 

NP: Who is she next to her? Seems she orders and fights with every one but she is given respect.

(Both the professors burst into laughter.)

 

Deepak ji: She is Radhika ' We call her Radhi. P.A. to the Chief of the Police Department Mr. Suraj Sachdev. She is the senior to that entire group but likes to hang around with them. Very responsible daughter and a good friend too. Naughty and teases all her jr's but inturn they tease her too. Well we heard recently that she is falling for Suraj ji. Not sure of it so we will be quiet on this matter.

(And started laughing again. And it goes on about these group discussion and other personal discussions)

 

(Here the Conversation btw the Victory Group people is something like this)

 

Charu: Welcome all!! Oh dear its been ages since we met last time. Most of the guys didn't even join for the New year party.

 

Aru: Yes its been 2 months we last met if I'm correct that too for Radhi's B'day party. And recently only few of us attended the Seminar in Shimla. U 3 guys, Ashi, Kushi and myself.

 

Jayathi: Yeah boys!! u missed the new year party. We girls had good time. Kushi n Sumit were not in the city but what happened to the rest of u???

 

Ashi: I think Rohit was missing Kushi so he didn't come. But Sid ur Charu is here but still u didn't'' feeling shy???

 

Swetha: It is seen in his face that he is feeling shy. Why do u ask him when we know the reason.

(And all the girls started hi5 and laughing louder)

 

Sid: Hello u all Bhabhi's n Behenji's except Charu. Why do we fell shy its ur girls thing to be'..

 

All girls at once: What we bhabhi's n behen ji's hellooo (Angry face)

 

Radhi: I know someone is mentioning me directly that word of behenji. Don't they remember that we too can call them bhaiyya if not uncle directly. We are good enough to answer u ok'..

 

Rohit: See clever girls will understand without saying anything. Radhi now accepts that she is behenji'.

 

Ashi: U are accepting the fact that girls are clever. Aren't u'.

 

Rohit: Girls are clever but they are dangerous. (and gives a hi5 to his friends)

 

Radhi: Well we are not that dangerous as boys are. Boys are even more dangerous.

 

Sumit: Guys stop teasing can u talk something else in a pleasing voice.

 

His friends all at once: Ohh Sumit stop it yaar! Why do u always be away from such things, these are the things which u remember for ever.

 

Sid: leave it guys he is of that kind. Don't know how to enjoy.

(for this Sumit got hurt)

 

Radhi: What Sid! This nature of ur's is not good. U hurt ur friend. We all know how sensitive he is.

 

Sid: Oh my big sister! Now stop giving lecture to me. Ok I'm sorry but u know my mentality I can't change.

(Charu: (in her mind) u must after marriage after all u can't hurt me. Thinking so she gives a sheepish smile to him.)

 

Charu: BTW Aru and Swetha how is ur research work going on??? Ur are doing on something different. Hearing abt it very much these days.

 

Aru: Its really going well I'm enjoying it. Will be out of city on that purpose this weekend.

 

Ashi: Which place are u visiting??

 

Aru: Patna city. There I have to collect few details in the central library. Must meet a professor there. One more girl is accompanying me.

 

Swetha: That's gr8. Ur work is on that regional languages and dialects that were from ancient times ri8. Interesting topic isnt' it.

 

Aru: Yes. Got to know the ancient things a lot and I'm really liking it. Few of them I have published in the paper too.

 

Radhi: Poor Shanky! What will he do? He must publish what ever his fiance give other wise he will be finished.

(All burst out in laugh)


Swetha: Why do u talk abt that now? See she is feeling shy listing the name of her fiance. Hahahah What Aru m'I right???

 

Aru: Atleast U stop teasing me yaar. Atleast I'm utilizing the opportunity to publish my works. U though have the option never do even that. Anyways its my future company so trying how far it will succeed.

(And gave a sheepish smile)

 

Leave mine how abt ur work. Ur psychology work of criminal brains hahhah

 

Swetha: hmm going smoothly so far. But its really painful at times. But u know I like my work more. Charu knows well what will be my situation when I return back to caf during evening times daily. Huh

Well Radhi what abt u?? is there any positive sign from Suraj ji or still the same old battle of wrong files and all.

 

Radhi: Why do u ask when u know the result. Any ways I'm enjoying teasing and making him anger.

(and blushes.) (All Full smiles)

 

Sudha ji entered. She was surprised and glad to c this batch after long time. She greeted them all.


Sudha Ji: Hello guys seeing u all after very long time. How are u all? What Rohit had good time with the girl in the club the day before? It was first time that I'm seeing her directly though saw her photo in magazines. I missed her when she came to this club. She is so pretty.

(He smiled and was a bit embarrassed.)

 

All girls: What with a girl in the club? So Kushi didn't tell us this when we met her yesterday'.

 

And they were going on chatting and laughing out louder while the light music was playing at the background and the waitress served them samosas' and kachories' to all and the smell of the samosas are making every one hungry even more.

 

All of sudden the topic diverted to the ongoing case of Manampur murder case. And every one are giving their own opinions as there were no clues at all.

 

Mean while there entered an elderly man in his late 50's, who was a retired professor, every one stood when he entered the club. He joined the professors and they chatted. Some how this old professor didn't like the victory group. It may be the generation gap. Nobody knows the reason.

 

Later all of a sudden Rohit's mood changed and he stood and said he must go and meet someone.

 

Every one teased him but he turned and moved out. Rest of the members also dispersed. It was almost 10.00 P.M. and they thought time has flied today.


Chapter 3 completed

how is it guys???




Edited by vss08 - 06 January 2012 at 4:56pm

The following 7 member(s) liked the above post:

justjayatiMoner_Radiorai-kishori.chatterboxtiny15Amor.khusi_*

justjayati Goldie
justjayati
justjayati

Joined: 21 September 2011
Posts: 1729

Posted: 23 December 2011 at 8:31am | IP Logged
super like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
too good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Clap

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

swethasyam08

Moner_Radio IF-Rockerz
Moner_Radio
Moner_Radio

Joined: 31 March 2011
Posts: 9366

Posted: 23 December 2011 at 10:56am | IP Logged
@ swetha :
             arre wah..khushi, charu, aru, jayati, swetha, ashi & of course radhi, sab ke sab entry maar liye apne fiances ke saathWink !! jiyo boss..kamal kar diya tumneClap !! a big, but entertaining updateClap . keep going !!Clap
 
           & no critisism from me this time !!Wink

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

swethasyam08

chatterbox IF-Sizzlerz
chatterbox
chatterbox

Joined: 01 May 2005
Posts: 23444

Posted: 23 December 2011 at 11:03am | IP Logged
swetha me sleepy abhi samaj mein nahi aayega

i would read tomm and comment ok



The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

swethasyam08

swethasyam08 IF-Rockerz
swethasyam08
swethasyam08

Joined: 15 June 2011
Posts: 8762

Posted: 23 December 2011 at 11:04am | IP Logged
thank u polly!! no yaar actually all ur criticisms and suggestions working out for me in giving a good  update. Smile

hope this time i didn't confuse LOL

Meena take u time dear. no hurry gd n8 and sweet dreams LOL


Edited by vss08 - 23 December 2011 at 11:05am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

Moner_Radio

chatterbox IF-Sizzlerz
chatterbox
chatterbox

Joined: 01 May 2005
Posts: 23444

Posted: 23 December 2011 at 11:15am | IP Logged
yay good nite have fun

god knows what surprise bharti is giving i would miss i guess

chalo good nite all of u


i just hope i dont hv dreams of tighda and all hehee

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

swethasyam08

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Author Replies Views Last Post
NF: Akhand Bharath Ka Sapna - Updt on Page 12

2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 12 13

Author: swethasyam08   Replies: 100   Views: 9917

swethasyam08 100 9917 19 December 2011 at 1:40am by rai-kishori.

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category / Channels
Forums

Chandragupta Maurya Topic Index

  • Please login to check your Last 10 Topics posted

Check these Celebrity also

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.

Popular Channels :
Star Plus | Zee TV | Sony TV | Colors TV | SAB TV | Life OK

Quick Links :
Top 100 TV Celebrities | Top 100 Bollywood Celebs | About Us | Contact Us | Advertise | Forum Index