FF: Mysterious Murder at Manampur; Updt-Pg 44;5/2 - Page 8

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radhikarani thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
aww raj ji v aa gaye. Aru ka bf shanky? Wow!
Nice part.
swethasyam08 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: justjayati

awesome part Swethu!!! 


Thank u dear ðŸ¤—

ek doubt meri taraf se bhi: even if u mention 8:30 instead of 5:30... why did u write "it was getting dark outside"?? 8:30 se aur zyaada kya dark hoga??? even if its summer...[Don't mind dear...just a random doubt] 

Wanted to put here something but didn't as i thought it will be filmy n deviate from original track. but forgot change the sentence due to some other work. ðŸ˜­ 

Now... ab bajegi teri band... ðŸ˜› Mar gayi...

abt characters...
Meri full on buraai karaaai jaa rahi thi ashu se hunh???   

i cannot do it straight to u and teri ashu hi tho kaha hai mein nahi😆 ðŸ˜‰


aru ko shanky de diya... khushi ko rohu, charu ko sid, polly ko Murderer... wah!!! kya baat!! kya baat!!! kya baat!!!

dhanyawaad ji ðŸ˜†
 
pura badla nikala hai mere se !!!! milo aaj googletalk par... sikhaati hoon tujhe sabak on chatting!!! aaj to chodungi nahin!!! ðŸ˜ˆ

Aaj mein nahi aane wali chatting mein. ðŸ˜† thanks u said it here. now i will escape ur badla ðŸ˜›


At the end!!!! Awesome yaar... u r writing really good [keeping all the scott's suggestions to u in mind] Update soon...

well thank u again. 


this time with all ur suggestions will try to put it in a good way. next part is almost ready must change few things so will be posting 2moro as weekend spl ðŸ˜† 

i may not give chapter 3 during weekends but will try my level best to update. it is a long weekend. so i'm not sure of posting 100%. if i prepare the update will post it definetly.

i know all are waiting for their characters to be seen in the story. chapter 3 is the intro of all ur's ðŸ˜‰ and ur career thing.


swethasyam08 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Thank u Anu n Radhi!

Aap bhi aayenge in chapter 3. toda wait kariye. mujhe dantna mat padne ke baad. ðŸ˜³




Edited by vss08 - 12 years ago
tiny15 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
@jayathi i think at 8.30PM in north india gets dark.so i think swetha is rite abt getting dark outside even at 8.30PM!!😊😊
 
@swetha i want 2 give a suggestion. 4 Shimla theres no direct train from even Delhi and u've 2 take a train from Delhi 2 Kalka(a small town in Haryana bordering HP) & from there u've 2 take Toy Train which takes min. 6hrs!!😊😊
 
radhikarani thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Mummy bhook lagi khana do
justjayati thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
@radhi
tu toh mujhe lagta hai ki full mood mein aa gayi hai..

@tiny15
that's what i said...
in north India.. it gets very dark at 7 only... but in her FF she mentioned that "it started getting dark" She should have written "It was very dark outside " or something like this... MOreover me too knew abt that train thing but was not sure,,, thnx for reminding yaar...🤗

@swetha
chinta mat karna dear... we atleast I don't bother much about these small details however it helps making ur FF better but still i m personally liking ur FF very much... and tu toh sach mein dar gayi yaar... don't worry... tujhe kha nahin jaaungi chat par...😆
swethasyam08 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
tiny! u have said what i had in my mind re!!! thought of mentioning abt diff trains but neglected it as it is FF. i made a direct train till shimla and from there a taxi to sahu hills  ðŸ˜†

though i know its not possible to go there directly hahah ðŸ˜‰

Next update Shortly...
Edited by vss08 - 12 years ago
swethasyam08 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago


Chapter 2 Part 2: The stranger in the town


They entered the Police station and presented their card. 

The Chief inspector Amar Ahluwalia received them saying u no need to introduce ur self. I was expecting u! How are you?

Both of them introduced to chief inspector.

I'm glad that u have come. I'm not sure whether it will help u or not but I thought of mentioning it to u.

Amar ji: Are u coming straight to the police station?

Manish ji: No we have checked in a hotel in Sahu hills to see how the place looks like.

Amar ji: We have received the entire details of the case. Well Sahu is very small place with little population. As u see it is surrounded by hills on three sides the only source of production is cloth which is called Sahu weave. But recent years the production is reduced as large no. of young people are migrating to larger cities.

Manish ji: (In his mind) he is speaking in the northeastern dialect.

Amar ji: I have made enquiries with the photo u have sent but none have seen him but... after a pause a week ago a strange man appeared in the town. His first appearance was of a laborer, wore a worn out suit a man in in his 30's or 40's. This man stayed in Ashiya Inn in the Sahu hills region which is old but a reputed inn. Its not that he stayed in that inn its abt a laborer stayed in such a inn. The hotel owner was not ready to give a room. When he paid all the amount of the room in advance, he had to give him the room but not a good one.

Manish ji: What kind of things happened?

Amar ji: Well that's the thing. Nothing happened strangely. He gave 500 Rs as a tip to the hotel maid which generally no one would give in this area. Then after supper he said he was tired and slipped to bed without even changing. That made people think quite odd.

Manish ji: anything else??

Amar ji: Yes! He woke up at 10 o' clock that night and asked the hotel maid till what time will the inn door be open? She answered 1 o'clock. Hearing this he took his bag and left at that time and returned at 1:00 A.M. They were surprised to see him doing so as nobody knows where he was gone and moreover nobody goes out after 10.

Manish ji: I suppose there is a record of his registration in the inn.

Amar ji: Yes u can get that even in the inn. And the next morning he left. When the inn owner asked him he said he is getting the train to Lucknow. And he gave his address of lucknow.

Manish ji: So the strange thing is he was away from inn for 3 hrs.

Amar ji: If that was the only thing I wouldn't aks u to come so long. There were 2 more things abt him. 1. He was seen loitering near a cloth weaving store in the near by mall for 30 minutes. He did nothing but staring at the shop and to the sides. The shop owner wanted to complain to the police but she dropped as he was doing nothing wrong just standing and staring. 2. He was seen sleeping near the river near by the hills in the noon time. No body would sleep at that time and that too near the river.

Manish ji: That means before he could check in to the hotel he was wandering around and found slept near the river. Hmm this is very strange. That means he appeared taking a nap on the bank of river, later he checks inn and leaves out for 3 hrs at 10 in the night, stares at the shop. This doesn't look like a normal behaviour.

We would like to look around the place and also visit the inn. Saying so they left to the inn.


He showed his identification to the inn owner and asked abt the strange man.

Manish ji: Do u have the details of him in the register?

Inn Owner: Yes we do and showed the register.

It was written as: Gagan Chand, XXX, Chand street, Lucknow. The writing was very bad as if a grade schooler had written. 

The maid replied "he filled the details in his room. And when I returned it was filled."

They failed to describe this man. And he was not carrying any luggage except a old shoulder bag.

Then they went to the shop where this stranger was seen staring. Collecting all the details from the shop owner, they reached the river which was flowing through mountains.

It was a beautiful place covered 3 sides with mountains with the river flowing through them. The grass grew tall on the banks of the river. A woman in the farm was carrying hoe. Few people are working in the farm. It was peaceful and very scenic place.

 

Aditya: What do u think abt this man? Was he related to the victim???

Manish ji: I don't know. But his name and address are fake. That is for sure. If we observe clearly he has filled the register with his left hand purposefully. Here is the copy of the register. There is no flow in the writing and no one will write so awkward characters.

Aditya: But where did he go from 10 - 1 in the night? Very strange, with his appearance and his doings we can assume he has no other business in the town.

Manish ji: That's it. I was just thinking about it myself. 

He stood with his both hands stuck into the pockets. Ripples spread in the river in front of his eyes. The sun shone on the mountains and cast deep shadows.

Aditya: This is a strange trip. The results are kind of disappointing, aren't they? What shall we do now? Since we don't have any more leads, shall we go home?

Manish ji: Don't we have to find out where else the man went?

Aditya: I don't think we'll be able to. He was probably here for only that one day.

Manish ji: Though he seemed like a drifting laborer, there's no evidence that he came to ask for work. But may be we should make inquiries in the nearby towns just to be sure. After all, we've come all this way, come on cheer up.


The following afternoon, Manish ji n Aditya visited the office of the Chief Inspector again.

Manish ji: Thank u for every thing you have done for us.

Amar Ji: you're welcome. Were you able to discover anything?

Manish ji: Thanks to you we were able to get a concrete picture of what went on. It seems that the man didn't make an appearance in any other villages. And maybe this incident holds some promise.

They chatted for a whole with the Chief inspector for an appropriate length of time and took leave from him.


When they reached the station and entered they saw a commotion over there. A group of young men and women with suitcases surrounded by several men who looked like newspaper reporters. Some had cameras and were taking photographs.

Manishi ji was not interested to find who they are and so he went to find the train schedule.

Aditya was anxious to know who they are asked his permission and went to see who they are. To his surprise it was the "Victory Group", friends of his Fiancee.

Having chatted with them he left towards Manish ji. He said they were here to attend seminar through University and now returning back to Lucknow. Finally they boarded the train. After sometime Manish ji started writing in his pocket book. Aditya thought it was regarding the case.

Later he gave the book to Aditya and asked him to read it.  It was a beautiful poem... 

 

A stranger stood by a cloth store staring

His clothes were old and worn

His shoes were scuffed and soles were loose

His coat was ragged and torn.

He sleeps at noon on the banks of river

He vanished for 3hrs

Who is he? Who is he????????????????????


Aditya said ohh it was regarding the stranger 


I was sitting

I was resting

On the banks of river staring

The grass is green and its breezing

The women in farm working

The people around walking

What am I thinking and why am I thinking

Now the train is moving and the sun is setting

When its just awesome around and time for resting...

 

this is all about the nature and our journey now... 

Manish ji was listening without any expression on his face. 

Aditya was so happy to read his poem and later they had dinner and slipped to sleep...


Chapter 2 Part 2 Completed

how is it guys???


Coming up next: Chapter 3: The Victory Group ðŸ˜Š

Edited by vss08 - 12 years ago
justjayati thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
too good swethu!!!!!!!!
u write awesome...

and woah!!
case ko poem mein convert kar diya!!! That was something new... awesome..
Well swetha.. u write very nice poems... plz post some on poetry thread yaar!!
Edited by justjayati - 12 years ago
swethasyam08 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
heheh never expected poem will come good. ðŸ˜Š and glad u like it. thank u