Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon


Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

Understanding Arnav's behaviour *edited*

-Drishti- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 18 March 2009
Posts: 18573

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 7:39am | IP Logged
Okay, so as some of you know, i've been MIA for the last i didn't exactly catch all the discussions, however i did see many posts criticising Arnav for behaving the way he did with Lavanya, others making posts to stop this negativity...i havent seen one which justifies rnavs behaviour so thought of making this. Some people think that he's falling for her, others want a new guy for Khushi..not permanently but for a while to see a jealous and possessive Arnav, some don't sympathise with La and blah blah main focus in this post is Arnav

Why was Arnav so teary eyed during the break-up conversation with La?

Simple, because he realised his mistake..realised that he had unnecessarily, unconciously yet slightly intentionally hurt her, gave her fake hopes of marriage, of his love...when he knew that they weren't there, or rather meant to be there. Whenever he's been with Lavanya, be it before he met Khushi or after...while buying some gift for her, hugging her, going on a date with her, before and after announcing that they're getting married etc...he was ALWAYS ASR. Khushi may have come to RM to install traditional beliefs in La, but she ended up changing Arnav too. The Arnav that was buried deep inside ASR resurfaced again...previously only in front of Khushi, but later even Payal and now La too. For probably the 1st time he spoke to La as Arnav. He realised that he's been very unfair to her, and the Arnav in ASR..the one that feels guilty came out. The man that understood his mistake, apologised to La, hugged her...that was not ASR, it was Arnav.

He got teary eyed because he realised that La loves him..and he doesnt feel the same, never felt the same, yet gave her false hopes. He repeatedly asked her a question 'are you ok?' because he needed to be sure that she was his fault that she was in this state...he could have easily made it clear that he's not going to get married to her, but he didnt..he agreed to get married to her, giving her hope, making her believe that maybe, maybe he does love me. ASR refused to listen to his heart, he didnt take into consideration abt La's feelings...because he wanted to get rid of the feelings Khushi evoked inside him. Yet, inspite the injustice he did to her...she thinks abt his family. She's willing to pretend that all's well, even though its everything but...ASR has insulted her, given her false hopes and she has now accepted that fact that her feelings for him are unrequited, yet she thinks abt the consequences this break-up will have on Akash and Payals engagement, and so tells Arnav that they should hide this fact till Payash are safely engaged. Arnavs expressions when he's like 'tum mere family ke family baare mein soch rahi ho?' is of sheer shock, because he can't believe that inspite of everything that he did..she wants to maintain his family's happiness. Honestly, when i put myself in La's place, i cannot imagine doing this...thinking abt the family of the very guy who has lied to me, given me false hope and broken my heart...i would have left the house had i been insulted like that, and not thought abt anything or anybody else neither would i have thought abt the consequences. It was La's selflessness, and his regret that made him feel like this.

Why did Arnav hug her when she asked him to? Why did he apologise? Is he falling for her?

NO, HELL NO! He isn't falling for her... '

Lavanya, tum jo mere liye feel karti ho, shayad main tumhare liye feel nahi karta, shayad kabhi kiya bhi nahi'

Is this one line by Arnav not proof enough?

As i've mentioned before, Arnav realises his mistake, realises just how unfair he has been towards La, and an apology just comes out of his mouth. He wasnt ASR..the guy who wud never feel guilty, who never cared for others opinion/feelings, who never apologised..he was Arnav who realised his mistake and wanted to make up for it. When La asked Arnav if he would hug her for the last time, just look at his expressions...he's feeling guilty as hell knowing that it was he who was the cause of the tears...and when he hugs her...he tells her unspoken 'sorries' through that hug, trying to make up for all the hurt he put her through...and all the hurt she will face now onwards.

He is a changed man, Khushi has made Arnav much so that he is now able to show this side of himself to others, other than his Di and Khushi. Arnav has become more confident, and is now able to over-power ASR, under whom he was supressed for so many years. That Arnav came out again when he realised what he has done to La. When Arnav apologised to Payal, i didn't see anyone unhappy.. but now when he apologised to La, many of you'll are like.. why did he do it? Why should it be any different guys? Just because he apologised to her does not mean he's falling for her. An apology is a spoken expression of regret.. he regrets the way he treated her, the decisions he made in anger, the hurt he inflicted upon her..and simply show her that he's make up for all the mishaps he created.

Most of all, WHY was Arnav so regretful in the first place?

Here, ASR has asked La to have a live-in relationship with him. She accepted then, only because she never expected to get married with Arnav. Slowly, with Khushi's help.. she changed, and she started to understand the value of marriage. She even proposed to Arnav, but he refused to get married to her. After a few more days, she decided to leave...but he came back to pick her up, and bring her back to his home. Now, we know that Khushi sent him the suicide note along with plants, but she doesnt...and so she thinks that Arnav brought her back because he loves her. Days pass, and suddenly he announces during the diwali party that they're getting married. We know why he did that, she thinks its because he loves her. Soon, he tells her and his Di that he wants to get engaged the very next day, although later agrees with getting engaged the next week..again we know why he did that...she thinks its because he's impatient to get married to her as he loves her. All this just gave her hope. Last week, when La is like 'ASR, its Lavanya', he's shocked...and he takes a minute to realise that. In the process he also realises that he's been very unfair to La.. because he never loved her, and he could never give her the happiness that she deserves.. that she hopes for. He realises all the decisions he took regarding their relationship was not really out of choice.. what i mean is that he didnt do it because he wanted to, he did it to run away from things/feelings. Being the changed man that he is, he feels guilty...ANYONE would wouldnt they...for treating someone like this?

And so i see nothing wrong in the way Arnav behaved. Infact, dare i say... that i actually enjoyed the break up, which brought me close to tears too?! The way Lavanya handled it, the way Arnav for maybe the 1st time he actually spoke his heart out to La. It was a good scene...nothing OTT, just right.

This was my interpretation on Arnav's behaviour... would love to see your views on the same :) Agree? Disagree? Some what? Do comment!


- As you've noticed, i've changed the title..because as i look back, i don't think Arnav's behaviour needs to be "justified" me or anybody else he didn't do anything wrong. All he did was perhaps, for the 1st time...took the right decision and gave Lavanya the respect she deserves. Until people look at this scene from an unbiased POV, it will not create the desired effect that highlights the change Khushi brought in both Arnav and Lavanya.

Edited by -Drishti- - 19 December 2011 at 2:51am

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Keshriya IF-Rockerz

Joined: 23 November 2011
Posts: 5218

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 7:45am | IP Logged
Drishti, I love your post and this love story is a mature one and the break up with LA should also be handled maturely, which is exactly what they did. As you said it was not OTT , both Barun and Sana acted so well.

BTW, on a different note I have seen you vm on ARHI-Reason, have been recommending to some of our forum friends.

Edited by Keshriya - 18 December 2011 at 7:46am

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HeadOverHeels Goldie

Joined: 25 October 2011
Posts: 2108

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 7:54am | IP Logged
Great justification, and there's not much that can be added to that I think. It's simply the way mature adults own up to their mistakes, and try to rectify them. There is no perfect way to do it, but that does not mean both adults shouldn't give it their best shot, and that is exactly what Arnav and Lavanya did.. The best they could in a bad situation, putting aside any indifference, finger pointing, and resentment. In fact, they took it a step further, and bonded as friends, which many people do not have the ability to do after a break up. 

The show also highlighted perfectly how adults are not so fickle that they shift gears immediately after a break up, and begin oogling at the first pretty little thing at their door. I think it's very important that people try and see that.

Again, great thread. Thank you for starting it.

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.Sad.But.True. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 03 September 2011
Posts: 18002

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 8:00am | IP Logged
Good post !!
People justify Arnav when his actions cant be justified but this time when he actually didnt do anything wrong,noone justified good justification and i totally agree with you .
I hope the people who had problems with ASR hugging La reads this post.

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anu17 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 27 May 2010
Posts: 13727

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 8:00am | IP Logged
this is what ws in my mind too...
he now got to knw whats the love means case of Khushi...
so thanks for this lovely post really lovely...
and next week will be a interesting one for us...may be emotional one...

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Jordin Groupbie

Joined: 01 October 2011
Posts: 112

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 8:16am | IP Logged
You have explicated Arnav's actions well! ClapClap

Lovely post. Smile

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Infofan IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 15 September 2010
Posts: 12012

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 9:14am | IP Logged
Well said Dhrishti. Nice to read a mature take on the situation and last week's episodes.

Edited by Infofan - 18 December 2011 at 9:14am

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Fatz77 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 06 December 2011
Posts: 3662

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 9:35am | IP Logged

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