I hardly remember it now bt I heard this song early last year wen I was diagnosed with stagial blood infection(something dat has just seeded n may or maynot become a lymphoma)
My frnd made me hear it...In a way 2 irritate me as im more of a Mozart kind..i was on da hospital bed waitin 4 da doc 2 lemme off n she was creating all dese dreadful diseases 4 me...I remember her face wend a doc selected 1 most horrific 4rm hr list...she luked totally lyk Arnav felt...as if she was on da receiving end...I had xplain hr it was stagial...i remember crying afterwards...everyone thout im losin it...da doc started pacifying me n I glared up 2 him
"im nt givin up my long streaks of hair 4 ur aweful chemo-chamo" n my brother asked him to scan my brain as well
My next thout was "I want 2 have children..tell me nothing is gonna happen 2 my kids?" I was a gone case dat day...
The song is still so apt 2day 4 Arnav n Khushi...
Khushi wants to live we knw dat...but is anybody out there...anybody listening...
She wants to unburden herself..share her pain her fears...her huge life in da tiniest moment allowed...with Arnav...she wanted 2 start anew to wat maybe left in da oldself...but he hasn't called...nor came 2 meet her or maybe hasn't evn thought of her... 'doesn't he care?...he wasn't feigning his reaction wen I told him...No...his eyes held understandin care sorrow..love(maybe)...all 4 me...so why...does anybody really knw it feels da end of my beginning...'
Anjali called her up worried about an unstable and nonresponsive Arnav...was dis call da quiet hush of 1 breath is all she was waitin 4?...maybe yes...this call proved he cares...her happiness has no bounds...but sometimes da one we're takin changes everyone before...she had wanted to share not make him suffer...she lessened her grief by sharing it with him it was something she wanted...n he was basking in it alone...suffering 4 her...maybe tryin to lessen her pain...this was something she didn't...thus sheddin da ego of waiting n da fear of rejection she went ahead to da 1 thing she wanted most in da world...Arnavs happiness...
Arnav's agony is too much to bear..he's holding on to her...to wat will only be memories one day...n not letting go off her...leave her here n nt have her in da future...seeing her standin there at swinging door open...watching after days her who is his warmth his joy...the face behind his eyes..whose presence he feels with every breath he takes..da one he always wanted 2 stay strong for..n then realizing dat wen the door closes she'll remain on the other side..the strength cracks a moan escapes n da mighty ASR crumbles to fate..
This is my fav part
Khushi saw the defeat in his eyes when she had asked that question, but she realised that he was one of the strongest people she knew. He would be okay, no matter what happened. He had to be, because she wouldn't be able to take it if he wouldn't.
"You will be" she said reassuringly, picking her hand up slowly and poking lightly at his cheek teasingly. He felt a knot constrict his throat at the gesture. She turned and his heart skipped a beat as she took a step away from him so he held out for her hand, gripping her lightly by the wrist and pulling her strongly back towards him. She went flying towards him, colliding strongly against his chest as he held her firmly in place with a hand around the small of her back.
Arnav is da strongest person she knws...n prays to let him be..her prayer found an answer n da next moment we see he is cornering her...enlightening her dat he's not some silent spectator of her condition...he WILL fight 4 her..even fight against HER 4 herslf I... I am going to be there... all the way Khushi, and I don't care what you have to say, this is not your decision"
But some prayers never knw He watched her for a sad moment, realising how much her weightlessness scared him, finally deciding that it didn't matter that she was ill. It didn't affect the way he felt about her, not even for a second, and he shouldn't let her feel any different.
Arnav will always be wishin 4 her to be there with him forevr n hence..tobe corporal in existence..we knw she'll fight n survive..live as long as living is possible..bt da fear of losin her in da near future will never be called off
Arnav
realized he was nt with someone this world cud call its own..she exclusively
his.. he was holding an Angel n he never evn knew it
"What do you want to do?" he asked "We'll do whatever you want to" he said, as Khushi smiled slowly at him, ridding herself of any sadness she felt at thinking that this all would end too soon, whenever it would be, she knew it would be too soon.
She looked up at him for a long moment "I want to make a list" she said, holding on to Arnavs hand, who entwined his fingers with hers
They don't knw(bt we do)if they'll make it..bt they'll stand by each other..be da strength to stand da light to shine da love to show da togtherness to evn tempt da fate to change its course..WE r broken we knw...bt WE just cant let it show as we'll be da pillars to eachother( Sam to ur Frodo)till we reach da holding on n then with a smile letting all go
Don't throw any food plezzz im surrounded with all kinds of pets here😭😉
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