Chapter 5: Dream a little dream of me
Her final words had stuck in his mind throughout the drive home and even when he changed for bed, her words haunted him. There were very few things in this world which had the capacity to knock him off his game and he had never considered a small town girl to be one of those things. For a girl whose mind wandered mile a minute and incoherency was kind of a given signature, she sure was pretty articulate in expressing her state of mind.
He poured himself hot water and dropped a tea bag. It was quite late or too early in morning to ask his house help for hot cup of tea so he made it himself. These small mundane routines always calmed him down. He walked to the garden he had grown in courtyard and settled on a garden chair without bothering to switch on the lights.
His garden was his pride. He had started it to get away from people and their idiosyncrasies where he was expected to act with lots of societal rules. But amongst plants, he was just himself.
"You love it here, don't you?" He heard Khushi say. He was startled at the sudden voice and turned to see Khushi leaning on the wall and looking at him with a serene expression.
His imagination was working overtime making him think Khushi was there. He knew it was his imagination.
But he didn't care. For the first time, he dealt with an imaginary Khushi honestly. He smiled at the image.
"Yes, I do. Do you know why?" He asked fully knowing that he was talking to himself. He saw imaginary Khushi shake her head and walk down towards him and sit on the floor a feet away from him.
"I used to sit exactly where you are sitting right now and watch my mother working in garden. After everything that happened in our family, this is the only thing that makes me feel connected to her, you know?" He said, his voice dropped to a husky whisper.
Imaginary Khushi simply nodded her head.
"I am not most guys Khushi," he said and stood up. "I was too young when I was subjected to things that I didn't deserve. I dealt with it in my own way."
"How? By ostracizing yourself from everyone around you, including your sister?" He noted wryly that his imaginary Khushi was super similar to the real one.
"It wasn't intentional; not at first at least." He slowly walked along the path. After twenty steps he saw that Khushi was also walking next to him feet away but looking straight ahead. He smiled and shook his head but continued to walk.
Calmness enveloped him and for the first time he didn't know why he wasn't agitated with her presence. He was a self-proclaimed loner and he preferred his own company when compared to anyone else yet being with Khushi hadn't been bad.
"What is going on between us?" He said stopping, his voice little above whisper.
"You do not know?" Imaginary Khushi asked him looking at the sky, her eyes slowly blinking at darkness of it all.
"I don't think I do," he said looking at her. Why wasn't he getting angry for not knowing?
"What do you feel?" She asked rapidly changing subject.
"Content," he replied honestly.
"You don't feel love?" She asked him smiling.
He looked confused.
"Should I?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. She trilled in laughter.
"What?" He asked her in annoyance yet a smile playing on his lips.
"How many people you know who are in love and content?" She asked. He didn't respond.
"Is your sister content?" She asked softly when her previous question didn't warrant an answer.
"I sure hope so," he said immediately.
"Be honest Arnav. Think from here," she said placing her small hands on his chest right above his heart. His right palm clutched her small palm and squeezed it softly.
"I don't think she is," he said after several moments of thinking and contemplating. His voice laced with defeat and the thought of his sister not being content made him unhappy.
"I don't know how to fix it," he said immediately. "If I had known or seen it before, I know I would have done something, anything to'"
"Sh'." She said placing her other palm on his mouth stopping him from lashing out on himself any further.
"Arnav," she said. Her voice was hypnotic and mesmerizing. "You can make your sister happy. But only she can allow herself to be content." She said and took her palm away from his mouth and placed it on his shoulder. He sighed deeply and rested his head on her shoulder.
"Thank you," he said weaving his free arm around her waist.
"For what?" She asked and splayed her free arm across his shoulder. She still had her other palm resting on his chest and he was still clutching it as if it was his lifeline.
"For coming in to my life," he replied. She laughed in his ears and she could feel him smile on her neck.
"I am sorry," he said suddenly pulling himself off her. She looked at him in confusion.
"Things are going to get very hard on you. I am not sure if I will be around to help you out," he said. Once again she walked towards him and placed both her palms on his chest.
"I know. But that is not going to stop me." Imaginary Khushi was as spirited as the real one, he noted.
He shook his head and pulled her into a kiss.
Reality be damned.
(TBC)
comment:
p_commentcount