DOTW: Is Natha Pratha Okay in Any Circumstance?

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Illyria

@.Prometheus.

IF-Veteran Member

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

Hi Guys

So this issue of Natha Pratha is generating a lot of discussion on the forum and to make everything easier to read and comment on i thought of creating a singular thread to have this discussion on.

So what are your views on Natha Pratha?

If Natha Pratha is accepted by both families, is this still a just custom to follow?

Also if its accepted by both famililes, does the mother then still have rights?

What does be done about Natha Pratha?

What repurcussions should there be about people following this?

What should happen in the base of Phooli?

Do leave your comments and lets have a constructive discussion about this, please no bashing or use of foul language

Juleka

Edited by Illyria - 12 years ago

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redapple1

@redapple1

Goldie

Posted: 12 years ago

Natha pratha is not OK under any circumstances. This custom seems almost similar to Mutah marriage that is followed in some other parts of the world. All these customs are mainly prostitution in disguise. All the rights are only for the man. If a child is born, it has the same rights as other siblings. The woman doesn't have any rights nor does she get any property rights or alimony. Some men of course will endorse these ridiculous customs as it favors them. If they have to pay the alimony and share the custody of the kid with their temporary marriage or natha contract woman then they will understand. 😡
Phooli should get her baby back and should start working with Anandi to suppress this stupid custom.

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

hmm..

when I think about Natha pratha.. I am forced to compare it in my mind with many living in situations.

How is that any different...

Yes the woman is willingly going into that relationship well aware of whats going to happen etc.

and the child might have rights according to the law, but still is illegitimate. Morally and ethically as its out of wedlock

Now, people can say well natha , the child has no right on its mother but thats not really the case, as when fought for as in phooli's case , she got the right for her child and probably even an alimony from the baby's father.

anywayzz for me any relationship out of wedlock is a NO NO.

and it has deeper repercussions. Many psychological issues have risen on the child thats born from such relationships. And we see that often here in U.S. and due to that the society has become morally deprived under the name of modernization.

So for me,

Natha pratha and living is almost the same.

Both uncertain relationships

Both morally wrong

people can defend with my POV my POV but what I stated is the truth and a very blunt one.

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tinoo

@tinoo

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 12 years ago

Great idea to consolidate all in one thread Juleka. thank you.

I think for the most part -- all social traditions -- not just in India but in all countries all over the world began not with ill intentions -- but really with good intentions to address some social ill prevailing in that particular time-space reality.

Now, when we look back on it with out "modern lenses" -- we cringe and think "wow, cant believe that social custom".

It is the same in our lives -- you know those stupid things we did in our teenage years/youth -- and now that we know better and have evolved - we think "how dumb was i to have done that?" But at the time it was the best we knew how or the best we had with the options in front of us.

So, I think naata pratha too must have started with something good in mind -- and right now, because we have access to terms such as "prostitution" and "commodification of women" -- this practice looks bad -- but within that particular jayetsarian anthropoligical construct -- it must have made sense to the local people in some meaningful way.

That being said -- I think that all rituals have some sort of structures of rules and a "code of conduct" -- which are commonly seen as acceptable to all members of the society and the two families entering into it in front of society.

In Phooli's case -- I think that these rules and code of conduct (I still dont know what they are)

have been violated, twisted and turned by Bharat and these naata in-laws to suit their own purposes. So Bharat and co. have not followed the "law" of naata (whatever it may be). One cannot enter into any institution and then start breaking the rules.

For instance - take institution of marriage - A man cant enter into a marriage and then start having an extra marital affairs because he wants freedom. Then dont enter into the marriage to begin.

Meaning, either line up with the institution or avoid it altogether -- but dont enter it and then start to break the rules of that institution.

Similarly, I am sure naata pratha also has some rules. And it is clear that these rules have not been followed. If it was so straightforward -- then Bharat and creepy mom-in-law would not have had to cook up the story of the first beendhni being an evil person who tortured all of them and they would not have had to go through the farce of being so nice to phooli.

They could have straight away gone to phoolis parents and made a trade of money in exchange for phooli's uterus.

(since she keeps saing "my gokh" so I am using the term uterus -- my intention is not to be crude)

If the matter was so straightforward, they could have just told phooli -- want you to sleep with me and give me a baby.

So it is clear that whatever the real naata pratha custom is -- what phooli has been through is some distorted, cheap, flagrant abuse of the rules and regulations surrounding naata pratha by bharat's in-laws.

It is hard to judge Naata pratha based on this case.

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hooked

@hooked

IF-Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

Ditto Tinoo !

I too have always believed that every law is made in keeping with the times and it is ususally made with the good of all concerned at that time.

But misuse can make the best rule seem vile, and also - there comes a time when that law has out lived its purpose and so it shud be killed. Naata seems to be one prime example.

No outsider wud have married a widow earlier, and so her in-laws absorbed her in their own house by marrying another son to her, thereby asking for a sacrifice from both - their own son and their DIL, but eventually keeping the BEST INTEREST of the kids in mind !! The grandkids stayed the winners. A new dad may never have accepted them or been fair n loving, but an uncle and the grandparents wud always stay loving n caring !!

When you see it in that context - it was a very well thought out practical and feasible law. It addressed rehabilitation of a widow, financial n emotional well-being of her kids and was not objectionable to the girl's parents. It was a fantastic solution.

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tinoo

@tinoo

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: hooked

When you see it in that context - it was a very well thought out practical and feasible law. It addressed rehabilitation of a widow, financial n emotional well-being of her kids and was not objectionable to the girl's parents. It was a fantastic solution.

I never saw it that way hooked! But you have explained it very, very clearly and it now makes perfect sense -- as a way to address widow and child rehabilitation!! This is exactly what i meant when i said that there had to be something good in mind when it first started.

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tinoo

@tinoo

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 12 years ago

Questions i wanted to be documented in the panchayat discussions --

1. what ultimately happens to a girl after the naata relationship is done and over with? I mean do the rules of naata say that the girl is turned out and returns to her parents home sans the baby?

2. what did phooli's father understand as the implications of naata when he first did it? did he not know that the girl will come back to them after the delivery of a child.

3. Even if the girl is to be kicked out after the delivery -- is there any system of "alimony" or if not a life-long income stream for the girl -- then is she to be given some lump sum of compensation?

4. Can a naata be broken unilaterally by the husband at his will? When the relationship is entered into bilaterally?

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ZaaraBB

@ZaaraBB

IF-Rockerz

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

Firstly Natha Pratha is where a lady comes as a mistress of ''her husband'' to bear a child or some sort of live-in relationship with no legal authority,Well this is how i see what Natha Pratha is😕

Well if Natha Pratha is accepted by both families it should NOT be just a custom,I know what i'm going to say is going to completely 'mash down' the meaning of Natha Pratha,but i think they should be some sort of legal authority. What Phooli's husband wanted was a surrogate mother and NOT Phooli or any "Natha Pratha".

Yes,If Natha Pratha is accepted by both families,the mother should have all rights,as previously said in the episodes,the child needs the REAL mother,for everything whether mostly for their milk or warmth or comfort. The mother MUST or SHOULD have MORE/FULL rights on the child first.

In my opinion, This Natha Pratha should be discontinued.

Is it some ritual in Rajasthan ? For societies approval of live-in relationship between two people so that a woman could offer a child or other needs to the family,Well basically this is how they portrayed it in the serial(as i had NO clue such exist[out of India]).

Persons should NOT follow such tradition or ritual, To me its quiet disturbing + disgusting, and this should no longer be a tradition,espeacially with the times and the importance of education should completely be discontinued. This is why NOW,these things need to be stopped and education be of MORE importance. This Natha Pratha should not reflect others in any positive manner.It will leave negative impacts on the ladies alone,as its just a short live-in for a child to be given..which is disgusting.

Talking about Phooli:

She should get back her child,In all of this,Anandi will help her,not only her but many other widows and other girls,SHE will save others from going and having short live-ins just to give birth to a baby then snatched,just like what happened to Phooli,She should be given justice and her husband and that family should NOT be spared. What they have done is wrong and they should be punished, Punishing them would be a start, A scare or threaten to others with the fear of not doing it and TO STOP this Natha Pratha.. Many girls life would be spared!!

And widows are girls,They should be given the authority to wear colourful clothes and jewellery,this should also be discontinued,Seeing Asha's track hopefully this Natha Pratha track will lead to some freedome

Whew..i wrote..A bit too much...

Thank You😆

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Missesha

@Missesha

IF-Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: tinoo
Questions i wanted to be documented in the panchayat discussions --

1. what ultimately happens to a girl after the naata relationship is done and over with? I mean do the rules of naata say that the girl is turned out and returns to her parents home sans the baby?

2. what did phooli's father understand as the implications of naata when he first did it? did he not know that the girl will come back to them after the delivery of a child.

3. Even if the girl is to be kicked out after the delivery -- is there any system of "alimony" or if not a life-long income stream for the girl -- then is she to be given some lump sum of compensation?

4. Can a naata be broken unilaterally by the husband at his will? When the relationship is entered into bilaterally?

Very appropriate questions; I also felt similar questions should have been raised in panchayat discussion.

And honestly if naata is all to do with surrogation of a child then why did Bharat's family cook up a story about his first wife. They could have easily hired any girl who was willing to go for this system with a clear intention of surrogating a child and in exchange for some monetary benefits. why did it have to be Phooli then? Phooli's naata happened with Bharat because she was a widow of Bharat's elder brother. Since both Bharat & Phooli were deprived of their partner's love and affection, they chose to live together as companions without social boundaries i.e. something similar to live-in relationship.

One more question I had is, does a girl have a right to break naata and go out of guy's life at anytime.

I still don't understand the real meaning of Naata pratha and regulations associated with this practice.

Edited by Missesha - 12 years ago

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Missesha

@Missesha

IF-Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

What if Phooli gave birth to a girl child?

As per the track , Bharat's family wanted a vaaris and a vaaris as per old customs will always be a male child, as girls are married off to another to another family.

So back to point, what if Phooli produced a girl child, would they consider her as vaaris or would they ask phooli to keep producing till they got a boy? Also, would that mean they would keep first wife's existence in Disguise for all those years, till a boy child is born?

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