Option 2 - Men marry women with the hope that they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
Early morning in the Carter household and Emily is running up the stairs shouting at the top of her voice. "Richard! RICHARD! Wake up already!", cried Emily, yanking the sheets off the slumbering bundle on her bed.
"Whassamatter? Quack? Quack??!"
"Did you just... quack? Like a duck?" asked Emily, barely stifling a giggle.
"No..." answered Richard groggily. "I meant quake"
"Earthquake? No such luck for you" said Emily smiling brightly. "You're just late for work, again and with no pretty excuse like an earthquake to save your neck."
Richard groaned and stepped out of bed, walking straight in to the shower.
He walked in to the kitchen downstairs ten minutes later, fully dressed and ready for a quick bite before he left. "Waffles?" he asked, "For breakfast?"
Emily eyed him over the stack of waffles on the kitchen counter.
"What?" he asked defensively and then spotting the honey jar, he picked it up and shook it from side to side. "Yes, sweet husband of mine. Waffles with honey" replied Emily pointing at the waffles and honey jar in turn. "Since it's your day to cook and you're late as usual, I get to fill us up with whatever I like" she finished smiling sweetly.
Richard sighed and sat down. "I don't like waffles in the morning much" he mumbled quietly. "Change is good" said Emily, "and you could try waking up early, and then you can make me eat, whatever you want to". "When are you goanna quit on wanting me to change?" he asked cocking his head to one side. "When you have changed", replied Emily, mimicking his head position. They stared at each other for a full minute, when suddenly a fat tabby cat jumped on to the table, knocking over the honey jar and the plate of waffles to the floor.
"Maxi!" cried Richard, grabbing the cat off the table.
"Monster!" screamed Emily, grabbing a towel to mop up the honey that was slowly dripping on to the ceramic tiled floor.
Richard scrabbled to the door with the struggling cat in his hands and let him out in to the back yard. "He meant no harm" he started to say but Emily gave him a dirty look from the floor and he stopped. She was on her hands and knees cleaning up the mess. Then she grinned and spoke in a high-pitched cackling voice "You have taught him well, my love".
Richard burst out laughing and scooped Emily off the floor, hugging her tightly. Emily blinked, startled but pleased. "Too many waffles will make you fat" he said in a low sugary voice. Emily rolled her eyes at him. "You're late for work, remember?" she reminded him. "No, for once in oh-so-many-years, I'm not", he said beaming at Emily. Emily looked confused, while Richard merely pointed at the clock.
Emily looked at the clock and back at Richard and then it dawned on her. She hadn't turned the kitchen clock back for daylight savings. Richard was in fact an hour early for work this morning.
"I'm impressed" she said giggling.
"You made a much bigger impression on me, trust me."
"What are you talking about?" asked Emily, sounding incredulous.
"When you yanked off those sheets, I was sure it was an earthquake!" barked Richard in reply followed by his patent booming laugh.
Emily frowned and pulled away from him a little to look at his face properly. "You know," she said seriously, "those jokes were only funny in college".
"But you loved my jokes back then" Richard protested looking slightly hurt.
"Yes, I did" said an exasperated Emily, "But you need to grow up some time"
"Oh, no" said Richard, dropping his hands from around Emily's waist and backing towards the kitchen door. "I feel a 'change lecture' coming on" he said with his hands raised in front of his face in defence.
"Oh, come on Richard" said Emily, "You know I love you"
Richard dropped his eyes and looked in to the face of the woman he had loved for the past eight years. Those three little words always disarmed him and in two quick long steps, Emily was back in his arms. "As I love you" he said holding her close.
"I'm fine with the way you are Richard" said Emily, "Really" she added. "Oh no, you're not", whispered Richard right in to her ear. "But don't you worry, a BIG change is coming" He drew his head back and looked straight in to Emily's eyes. "I'm going to confirm everything and tell you tonight, ok?" Emily looked surprised but seeing the quiet confidence in Richard's eyes, she simply smiled and nodded.
While Richard was work, Emily spent the entire day at home wondering what his surprise could be. She knew she should be working on her novel but she couldn't get her mind on the writing today. Richard loved giving surprises and there was no way to get him to reveal the surprise until it was done. He was crazy like that, but Emily loved him all the more for his silly quirks.
'I hope it's not a Chihuahua', she thought to herself. Her last birthday had ended with her in a hospital because she was allergic to dog hair but only some kind of dog hair it seemed. She smiled recalling what her brother-in-law has said while all the guests watched in horror as she had turned red and swelled up like a balloon 'You've finally got her pregnant baby brother'. Emily wished it had been true but after numerous tries and treatments nothing had worked.
Emily wanted to adopt but Richard had been resisting. 'May be he's finally changed his mind' she thought happily.
At 6'o clock sharp, Richard was at the door. "Honey I'm home" he called out as he entered the living room. Emily chucked a pillow at him. "Ow!" cried Richard, "What was that for?" "For the cheesiest line in the history of the 21st century" replied Emily, sticking her tongue out him. Richard laughed and sat down on the couch next to her.
Emily watched as he fidgeted with the inside of his coat and drew out a photograph. A girl in her early twenties who looked uncannily like Emily was smiling in it. "Who's this?" asked Emily. "She's the mother", said Richard smiling at Emily, "of our baby". "Oh my goodness, Richard!" squealed Emily and jumped on him hugging him tightly. "I love you, I love you, I love you!" Richard chuckled. "I know sweet cakes, I know. Look, isn't she pretty?"
"Hmmm..."
"Look, she has your eyes"
"Yeah, where did you find her"
"What does it matter? I did and the baby is ours"
Emily hugged him tighter. "I'm so happy" she said.
"I knew you'd understand" said Richard
"I've wanted to adopt forever Richard, of course I understand!"
"Adopt? Who said anything about adopting", said Richard, "I know how I feel about having a stranger in my home Emily"
"What do you mean? We can't just take this woman's baby"
"We're not going to take it, I have custody"
"Custody?" asked Emily, confused and looked back down at the photograph.
"Yeah, I'm the father", said Richard.
"Oh ha-ha, very funny Richard. You know I hate your dumb jokes"
"I'm not kidding. You wanted me to be more considerate towards your feelings of being a mother and this is me being considerate. I've changed. You don't know how hard it was to find a girl who looks like you. Well, not looks like you as you are now, but she's so much like your younger self. So slim... and soft".
Emily looked at him horrified and unbidden she felt the tears coming. "This isn't funny, Richard. It's really not"
"It's not a joke honey, no more jokes from my side. I'm a changed man. I know how much you wanted this. I did this for you" he said taking Emily's face in to his hands.
Emily shook his hands away and walked away from him. "You... you...", she stammered, unable to form the question that was burning her inside out. "Yes, how else do we make a baby?" Richard answered her silent question.
"Get out", said Emily in a barely audible whisper. "What?"
"I said get out!" she screamed.
Richard shook his head and turned to leave scooping the fallen photograph from the floor. "I thought you'd understand. You wanted me to consider your emotions" he said from the doorway.
"I was wrong", said Emily through fresh tears, "I was wrong."
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