Chapter 15: I Miss You! I Really Do!
Time flew by every day, and each day had a sense of loss, pain and memories attached to each ticking second on the clock. They say the shore calms down after every storm, it has to. It's a natural process where the entropy is restored, eventually as time passes. But how could the calm that comes after every storm repair the wounds it has left behind? They have another answer for that too, time. They say time will heal all the wounds and another day will dawn in life. And it had to be true for Riddhima too, except she didn't want it. She didn't want any measure of time to erase any memories she had of him, she didn't want the pain that followed with his memories either, but she would bear the pain for his memories because that's all she had left with her now and nothing else. Just like he had left her, with nothing said, nothing given and nothing left to be hoped for. One would think holding onto his memories she was stuck in time, she was frozen in a state that she couldn't see anything beyond him. But that wasn't true. She held onto his memories, but she moved on in life. She worked in the Hospital, did her clinical research, hanged out with her friends, shopped, helped her mom in the household chores, played basketball with her dad every Sunday, and she did all that with a smile on her face. A smile that was as fake as the truth in her love for him. Initially people who knew what had really happened with her thought she would break down, but she didn't, she was stronger than they knew and as weeks flew by they were happy she had moved on in life. And she was happy to magaed to have convinced each and every one of them properly, even Nikki, who was her best friend and her sister, who was really her soul sister. She was happy she was able to make them let go of their worries. She remembered how they used to ask her all the time, "Are you Okay? Ridzi", "I'm here if you want to talk about it", "You can cry, its okay to sometimes." Though she used to find their questions incredibly painful to answer as they had reminded her of him, she was grateful they were there for her. They used to have sleepovers, go watch movies and do anything fun they had in the small time that they had. She couldn't thank them enough for being there for her cause she knew no matter how hard she tried, that pain crept back into her heart and tore her apart from the inside in the nights sometimes, Like it did today. And them being there had helped her see beyond the pain in life.
Riddhima clutched the blanket closer to herself as the wind blew furiously outside, scratching the window with this force. She could see through the transparent window that it was a full moon today. And that full moon brought in a whole set of pain and memories. IT had been exactly a months since he had left her. She recalled how on the last full moon, they were in the hospital room and how they both had almost confessed their love to each other. A tear rolled down her eye as she thought of how things would have been today had they confessed their love, had he not left. They would have been together today, celebrating a month of their love. And a few more tears rolled down her eyes and that led to her crying badly, as she tried to keep her voice down. She couldn't hold herself anymore and the dams came loose. For some reason tonight, his memories were haunting her a lot, she was missing her a lot today. His love, his care, his naughtiness, how they used to tell each other how their day had passed everyday before going to sleep, how he used to tell her all the stories about his FBI career, that her di herself never told her, how he used to use Dr. Shruti to make her go jealous and yet make her blush at the same time, all those memories were flodding her brain, as if they've happened in a different lifetime altogether. A time where there was sunlight in world, not just trailing grey clouds that traveled wherever she went. But today she missed him much more than she did any other day, maybe because she was leaving Mumbai and going to a medical camp for a couple of weeks. She didn't admit it, but she would continuously roam around in places they have been together, like the fire escape, the pub, the hospital room where she stayed in, just so that she could feel him again, so that she could tell that him coming into her life was real, that this pain was real, because she felt like she was living in some sort of a limbo. So leaving town would mean leaving part of her memories, leaving part of him or rather leaving a part of her and she didn't want to go. The clock's tick at 2 brought in a roar of thunder, with pouring raining. She shut her eyes tightly trying to sleep, trying to escape the world for at least a few hours.
It had been weeks since Muskaan and Armaan had come to work with the Singapore headquarters and with the help of the team had been able to solve the case and catch the criminals. And now they were standing in a recognition ceremony held at the auditorium in the headquarters, honoring the team that had worked so hard in solving the case. As Armaan sat there listening to the chief's speech, his mind wandered to Riddhima, like it had ever left her. It had been a month and he couldn't believe the amount of pain he had faced from being separated from her. It was so unbearable that he felt suffocated at times, and to say he missed her was an understatement. Though he told Nikki and Abhi that he was going to forget her, he couldn't stop thinking about her. He missed her smile, her laughter, her stubbornness, her kindness, her love for her family, how she always put everyone before herself, how she was so positive about everything in life. He felt so bad about the fact that he had to come into her life and ruin it for her. He didn't know how she was, he hoped she had forgotten him by now, he hoped atleast she was able to unlike him. Because no matter how far he ran away from her, he wouldn't stop loving her, he couldn't. Asking him to stop would be like asking him to stop breathing, it would kill him. It was amazing how the person he knew in a matter of months became so important for him. He couldn't sleep properly at night in the while month he had been here, he had gotten used to watching her sleep and wake up to her smile every morning, as she always got up before him. Tears filled his eyes as he blinked to stop them from coming down. A roar of applause brought him back to reality as the Chief called his name, asking him to come on stage. He discretely wiped his eyes and got up and walked up to the podium mechanically. After the ceremony got over, he walked up to the hotel room where he was staying. Muskaan walked behind him and sighed staring at him lost in some world. They had gotten pretty close in the past month they have worked together and today she was going back to the Mumbai headquarters and he was going to head back to New York after a couple of days. And in the past month, they had become really good friends, Muskaan never had any brothers before, but if she had a choice, she would ask one just like him. As they went to their respective rooms to freshen up and Muskaan went to get the luggage. Armaan knocked on Muskaan's door, "Come in", she called out knowing who it was. He entered to see Muskaan struggling to close a fat suitcase. "Armaan please help me yaar, yeh nalayak suitcase close hi nahi ho rahi", she complained sitting on it this time. Armaan pulled her from the suitcase and tried to close it himself. "Muskaan tu pagal hai kya? If you sit on it, yeh sach much nalayak ban jaiga aur toot jayiga. And tum girls bhi na, who told you to shop so much ki tumhara bag close hi nahi ho paye", he teased her only making her frown and hit him. "Tu chup bait aur mera suitcase band karo. I'm leaving today, atleast be nice to me now", she said frowning. "Thank god! I'm leaving Bechare Anjie and Atul they have to bear you from tomorrow", he laughed as she hit his arm and then laughed at it. As Armaan closed the suit case, Muskaan looked at him. Though he never talked about it, he knew he was hurting and that too real bad. She knew he loved Riddhima, she wasn't blind and they he never actually told her the reason, he knew he had left her and never contacted her because of putting her in risk. She saw how possessive and caring he had been for her at the hospital. She saw the rage in his eyes when they interrogated the criminal that had shot her and how difficult it was for all of them to stop him from beating the guy dead. And mostly she saw the hollow pain in his eyes that was always there whether they worked, talked or anything else. And that hollowness reminded her of her own pain, but she didn't want to think about that now. It was forbidden territory. She had started to see him as a brother she always wanted and out of that love she wanted to relieve him some of his pain. So she tried talk to him but he'd always made some excuse or the other. But today now that she was leaving, she felt that she should at least try again. "Armaan, I know you told me not to talk about you and Riddhima. And I understand where you are coming from in terms of our profession and your parents, but I really think you should think it over." She said looking at him seriously. Armaan stopped what he was doing for a second and then started again. "Muskaan, please…", but she cut him off. "I know you're going to say please and everything. But I won't be there tomorrow to lecture your or tell you any of this. So just bear with me today….. Dekh Armaan, life is tricky, it's never easy. It isn't easy for anyone, not just us. Problems tho hum sab ke ho hothe hai. It doesn't mean we try to run away from them. Love is very hard to find Armaan, especially true love. And jab miltha hai na, use jane nahi deta hain. Today you might think whatever you are doing is right, but think about the future. I know you're hurting inside and I'm sure Riddhima is too. Think 10 or 15 years down the lane, when you realize what you have lost, you'll be far too behind to ever get it back Armaan. Don't let your love go. Don't think everything will be a problem if you be with a person. No one has seen the future. It doesn't always has to be storms and thunder, there is an equal shot for rainbows too. Think about it. I can't change your decision, but I hope if you've ever considered me as a friend you'll atleast think about what I said", she said giving him a look. Armaan just stared at her, deep in thought thinking about what she said and nodded slightly. Muskaan nodded, "Chalo itna bhari lectures mujhe ko suit hi nahi kartha hai. Oh crap Look at the time, chalo chalo lets go to the airport, warna mere flighlt chale jayegi yaar and Anjie mujhe maar dale gi agar mein uska shoes nahi laya tho time mein", saying that she dragged her luggae and Armaan out of the room. Armaan shook his head at her nautanki and her attempt to make him smile. He drove to the airport and hugged her tight as she was about to go off. He would really miss her, she reminded him of Nikki so much, she was just as sisterly to him as Nikki was to him to. And he was happy to have gained such an awesome friend. "Take care Muskaan and Don't eat Anjie and ATul's brains so much back in Mumbai", he teased her. "haha haa very funny! Kameene! Achha take care of your self! Think about what I said. And please yaar, try to come to Mumbai to visit us atleast. Bhul mat jao humain!". "Yes Grandma! I won't forget!" he smiled and hugged her. He bid her goodbye as she walked past the check-in counter waving back at him one last time. He felt sad as he walked out of the Airport and into his room. She had been a good friend to him in the past month, especially whenever he needed her. She was there and understood his pain, just like Nikki did. And he was really thankful for that. Now that she left too, he was lonely again. He laughed at himself, he was so used to being alone so why did he never like it anymore. He stared at the blue sky in his room and sighed. He felt more alone now that he knew he was going away from Mumbai, back to New York. In the days Muskaan was with him, he felt like he had a connection of his basket. Like Muskaan was a reminder of him of Mumbai of all their memories they had together. It was like he could believe that she was real to him. But now that Muskaan had left too, he felt like he was surrounded by oceans of just water and nothing else, no shore or island to lend him support.
Chapter 16: Love Story!
Riddhima stared at the blue water flowing around her as she sat near the deck of the ship. It was a truly beautiful sight. The sun set orange molded with the baby blue in the sky and the whistling wind kissing her face, she felt calm after such a long time in her life. She looked at the island that peeked through the blue waters and sighed to get ready. Riddhima was here at the Andaman and Nicobar Islands for a medical camp sponsored by Sanjeevani every year. She was selected as the supervisor and she was going to work with the local clinics to provide proper healthcare for the next few weeks. As she saw the shore approaching near, she remembered the last few times she had been here she had made a very good friend. She hoped she would see that friend again this time around too. She went to get her luggage and waited for the ship to come to a hault ignoring how the ocean blue waters reminded her of his eyes. All throughout her journey, she kept thinking about him and even let a few tears slide as there was no one there she had to pretend to. She sighed as the boat ship came to a stop and the passengers unloaded. She got down and saw the shore and it looked exactly like she had left it two years ago, nothing changed. And nothing changed on her sixty year old friend's face as she smiled a bright smile and waved at her. And that brought an smile on Riddhima's face to involuntarily. She walked near her friend with her luggage. "Riddhi! I'm so glad to see you! You conmpletely forgot me! You didn't even call me much, just for occasional holidays!", she said hugging Riddhima and tapping her head lightly. Riddhima smiled and hugged her friend tightly. "I'm sorry Dadi! Please forgive me! I really did miss you", she said holding her ears. Dadi just looked at Riddhima, who was like her own grandchild to her. She had come her when she was an intern initially for the medical camp as a team and ever since she met her, she had become close to her. They had become really close and whenever Riddhima came over, she made her stay at her house, which was a huge mansion. And Riddhima looked beautiful as ever, but there was something different that she say in her eyes today, some hollowness and she had never seen that way before. Her life and her experience had taught her a lot in life and she could tell there was something amiss, though she couldn't exactly put her finger on it. "Achha! It's okay! Chalo! Let's go home! You must be really hungry too. And I made your favorite coconut dessert too!", she said to which Riddhima smiled as they headed towards her mansion. As Riddima walked into the mansion she couldn't help but admire it its beauty. Dadi lived in a huge bungalow, that looked a lot like a beach house. It looked as if it could accommodate rooms for atleast two hundred people. It had an outhouse that was near the gate of the entrance and a small pond near the entrance of the door. But nothing compared to how it looked in the inside, absolutely beautiful and filled with antique treasuries and long clear doors and windows and curtains that always flowed with the wind that flew by. No matter wherever she travelled, nothing compared to the amount of peace and pleasantness this house held. But her most favorite part was the beautiful waterfall that was in the patio of the house. Dadi showed Riddhima her room and asked her to freshen up while the cook got the food ready. Riddhima quickly took a shower and came downstairs to the dining area, hoping to not get lost through the multiple stairways in the house. They finished dinner and sat at the patio of the house, eating the delicious coconut dessert that Dadi had made for Riddhima. "Dad this is the most amazing Dessert I have ever had in my life. Thank you so much for making it! You're the best!", she said hugging Dadi. She felt slightly eased of her pain after so many days, it was like Dadi had that aura of relieving anyone of any pain and making anyone genuinely smile and the yummy coconut dessert was playing a part too. "Arre, How many times have I told you to never thank me. You're like my grandchild, Riddhima. Tum meri pothi jaisi ho, itna tho main kar sakhtha hu na", she said smiling at Riddhima, who was eating the coconut dessert. "Accha tell me about your life. Its been two years. Ab to you've become a complete doctor by now na?" "Yes Dadi. I'm officially a pediatrician now. And I've gotten a lot more workload now. But I'm enjoying it", she said trying to sound as genuine as she could, ignoring the ache of her heart. Her work reminded her of the hospital which reminded her of Armaan. "Accha! That's good. How's your family? Mumma, papa, Anjali, Nani, sab theek hai?". "They're good Dadi. Nani's asked me to ask about you. Infact she asked me to give you something. It's in my bag. I'll give it to when we go upstairs.. "That's so sweet of her beta. Tell her I asked about her too, when you get back", she said. Riddhima smiled, "Di ki shaadi ho gayi…" And she continued to tell the tale of Anjali wedding deleting any detail of Armaan in the story. Dadi's mouth opened for a minute and she smiled a little. Riddhima saw two things in Dadi's eyes, a twinkle as if she was reminiscing something and something else that she couldn't understand. Dadi stared at the pond and the waterfall in front of her, "Kitni ajeeb hota hai na Riddhima, Life sometimes makes you do things where you have to only listen to either your heart or your mind, but you can never please both", she said lost deep in thought. Riddhima looked at Dadi and that reminded her of her own situation. How her heart was lost to Armaan and her brain was lost to her duty as a daughter. As she loved someone who her dad might never approve too, but that didn't matter anymore either because the person she loved didn't seem to approve of her either. But she put those thoughts behind her mind. "Kya soch rahi ho Dadi?", she asked to Dadi who was brought out of her deep thought. "Kuch Nahi, just some memories. You know, main bhi tumhari di ki tarah bhaag kar shaadi ki hai." She said, making completely flustered at the thought. As far as she knew Dadi always came across as a fun loving, disciplined and level headed person, she couldn't believe the same dadi had ran away. "ha, I know hard to believe", she laughed gauging Riddhima's expression. "Kya hua Dadi, tell me the story", Riddhima asked her. "I was seventeen when I met Veer. He was just nineteen preparing for an army officer. We fell in love, when he was training in Mumbai and wanted to get married. But he had to go for his training and work away for two years. Those two years were the hardest of my life, but we made it through. We sent each other letters and he used to call whenever he can. I used to spend days and weeks waiting for those letters", Dadi smiled dreamily remembering those golden times of her life. "Pata hai, Riddhima woh kitna filmi tha. He used to make up poems and songs in each letter he sent me. Two years passed away and he finally came back to Mumbai as an officer. We then told our parents about our love, but my dad didn't approve. He wanted to get me married to his friend's son. I tried to convince him, Veer tried too. But my father didn't agree. So one day I ran away from my house and we got married. We came here as he had duty here and stayed here. A year after we got married, my son was born. We went back to Mumbai when he was eight so that Veer could start a business and so that my family would accept us again. But they were stubborn because Veer didn't have a properly family, he grew up with his uncle and they didn't want to accept him back to the family. So we moved to Delhi and built our home there, Veer established a business and financially we grew a lot. After our son grew up and got married, Veer decided to retire so we rebuilt out old house here and made it much bigger so that our grandchild and kids could live here luxuriously. Few years after that, Veer passed away leaving me alone. My son still asks me to move back Delhi and he still calls me every week, but I can't leave this place. This was the place we began our life together, where we built our home, our dreams, where our child was born. Veer's memories are always in this place and that's why I decided to stay here. It feels like he's here with me too", she finished her story wiping a tear from her eye. Riddhima stared at Dadi speechless, wiping a few tears from her eyes too. It was such a beautiful story. "You know what the best thing is Riddhima, Veer never let me miss my parents at all. I was so lucky to have found him. He loved me so much that I'm sure even my own parents haven't loved me that much. He's the best thing that has happened to me in my life. And you see the stars up there, we both used to stare at these stars to pass time when we were apart in those two years, or whenever he was away from me. And he used to tell me if something had ever happened to him, he'd become one of those stars and always stay with me where ever I am. And whenever I miss him a lot, I come and sit here and stare at these stars because I know he's watching over me. And I try not to cry too much either, because he hates it when I cry", she said wiping her eyes. Riddhima just smiled at Dadi, her heart was all fuzzy and warm with her story. She just hugged Dadi a little and let a few tears escape over her own. She couldn't believe such stories ever existed in real life and listening to that story made her miss Armaan so much more. She quickly pulled out before Dadi noticed something. "Accha Let's go inside. Rath bahut hogayi hai. I'm sure you're tired too. Go get some sleep. We have the next two weeks to talk about anything and everything okay", Dadi said caressing her face. Riddhima nodded, "Acha Riddhima. Radha wanted to meet you. She's actually in town for a week. I forgot, you weren't ther, Radha ki shaadi hogayi hai. She has kids now too, twins", she said smiling a little. Radha was their watchman's daughter, she grew up in front of Dad's eyes. Dadi always treated her like a daughter, Radha got married and moved to another town with her husband, but now she was in town. Riddhima and her had become really good friends the last time Riddhima came over and Riddhima's was super existed at this news. "Oh my god! Radha got married? Kids too? Kab kaise?", Riddhima fired these questions as they walked upstairs to their room. "Calm Down Riddhima . She'll meet you tomorrow and I'm sure she'd love to tell you the story", she said laughing at Riddhima anxiousness. Dadi bid Riddhima good night and went to her room. Riddhima climbed onto bed completely exhausted. She closed the window as she felt the wind blowing the windows, it looked like a thunder storm was about to erupt. Riddhima got into bed and went to sleep. "Riddhima woke up to the rain thudding at the window, she could never sleep when there was a storm outside. So she went downstairs to get some water. As she was about to turn for the Kitchen, she heard someone banging at the door. She didn't know if she should open it or not, but went forward to anyway as she heard the banging get louder. She opened it to see a man in a black jacket with his hood around his head, completely drenched from the storm. His hood covered his head, so she couldn't see his face. As soon as when opened the door he ran inside the house not even sparing her a glance. "Hey!", Riddhima stopped him by holding his arm from the back, she couldn't see the person his back was turned towards her and she hoped he wasn't some burgalar. The man slowly turned and took his hood off and Riddhima's eyes widened as she took in the person standing in front of her.
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