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Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

Deciphering Anjali (Page 2)

.Mandy. Channel Moderator
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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 9:58pm | IP Logged
Sorry to hear about your bad experience and I can totally see Anjali not believing Khushi and being in denial, infact I expect it but I still want the truth to come out. I want Payal to tell Akash that way there won't be secrets when they marry, he will know the truth and no one can say later on that the truth was hidden and think the worst of the Guptas.

blokes Goldie
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Posted: 15 December 2011 at 12:39am | IP Logged
I am not surprised- here in the US, I know of some cases like these. To add to that list, a lot of domestic abuse happens too- against wives as well as children. It is truly shocking. People like Anjali have such little self esteem and so swaddled from the world that they cannot even imagine such perverted behavior! That is another angle of the same problem.
princessunara IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 15 December 2011 at 1:50am | IP Logged
this was one wonderful post..n specially thank u 4 sharing ur personal experience..cz 2 days back i was going 2 make a topic asking if anyone knew a real life Anjali..regarding her blind faith devotion and puja path for her husband..i was intrigued cz i had never known someone like that.may be cz i haven't observed these nuances when i'm with any of my aunts n uncles(well that is the last thing one would do when u can be with ur cousins) and having no married friends..i really have no real experience of such..

but reading this..well i guess it was a good thing u decided it was a lost cause..but i guess u did the right thing of telling her even if it resulted in the bad fall out..cz otherwise every day in life when u met her after that u'll feel guilty and think 'should I be hiding something this big from her?'

but i guess ur friend probably knows that what u say is true in a subconscious level..but as u said the guy fulfills his responsibilities as a father and a husband and is sweet with her in normal situations...so she must have make that unconscious decision that she will turn blind to all else that lack...denial and living in that happy place in one's mind is a manner of coping..u know mind is a fascinating thing and operates in surprising ways...it sometimes prefers to close out all unpleasant things so dealing with it is easier if u pretend it is not there..

and anyway think of ur friend's options..u said she had kids..and i guess rocking the boat must be a terrifying thought..

I'm sad that she lost out on such a good friend who looked out for her welfare...but well i guess the saying 'u can lead the donkey to the water..but u can't make it drink it' exists for a reason..

a prayer for ur friend...if not the strength to walk out..hoping she'll have the strength to endure..

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Posted: 15 December 2011 at 2:02am | IP Logged
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Posted: 15 December 2011 at 2:13am | IP Logged
Sorry to hear about your friend...
Even I did think that if Khushi tells the truth to Anjali, she wouldn't be believed and there would be possibilities of Anjali turning hostile towards Khushi (and hence the reason why the Guptas were worried that Payal's wedding would be called off). Khushi had the intention to tell the truth but after the mangalsutra fiasco, she became hesistant.
 
And regarding Anjali..yes, she lacks self-esteem and she compensates for this by her bilnd trust in her husband and her over-indulgence in poojas and vrats. Sometimes I wonder whether her lack of self-esteem is due to her past - the painful past that she shares with Arnav. Maybe her parents death, her wedding being called off, she and Arnav being thrown out of their home and she being handicapped...might have contributed to all this.
 

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NaBoleTumNa...serialjunkie

serialjunkie IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 15 December 2011 at 10:32am | IP Logged
Thanks friends for reading and commenting on the post.

Even as I wrote the post, I was feeling pretty rotten that somehow I might be betraying my ex-friend. But I've really tried to keep her identity anonymous because the last thing i want for her is to be ridiculed by anyone.

I see shades of my friend in Anjali. As princessunara said, my friend has kids with this guy, she really has never held a job and is not financially independent. her parents cannot support her not after three kids with him. so she is societally bound to him. And this did not happen in India, this is happening right here in the U.S. She is here and decidedly her husband is a rich guy. So she might have weighed her options and decided that a known devil is better than an unknown friend.

And then i tried to rock her boat and i am sure she knew it all but did not want anyone else pointing it out to her. I hope she has found her peace with her decisions.

I seriously think such women save their revenge for the last years of their lives. I am sure she will turn around when this guy is older, less wanted by others and needs her help to take care of him. But really, that is a pathetic time to be exacting revenge.

In any case, i wish her well. I'd be interested to know if she watches IPKKND LOL but really there is no way for me to know and i really woiuldn't want to touch her or her family with a 10 foot pole.

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LadyLaLa IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 15 December 2011 at 10:49am | IP Logged
Fab topic... 

It is a sad situation and I do feel for  the loss of your friendship...

don't they say when one's spouse is playing the field, the wife is the last one to know... This is true...

Such men know how to brain wash their wives...

I don't know about your friends status, but perhaps she wanted to turn a blind eye to his behaviour and be on denial as she had all the comforts which are provided by him.

She may have not wanted to disturb the peace at home and upset her children... there may be family pressures... who knows if her family will be able to accept the fact ... She may have been afraid of her future... At least in the west there is legal aid and other facilities for women who are caught in such situations...

I don't want to take names but haven't we seen such incidents in the lives of film stars? Wives are fully aware that their husbands are straying but still prefer to remain docile ...

If he had threatened you through FB with dire consequences imagine what he would have threatened her with... I don't know these are only my assumptions...

True... when faced with such situations it is hard to take a stand... At least  she could have been on alert and done some investigation herself... This is what I will do... After all there is no smoke without fire and it's good to be safe than sorry...

In IPKKND Khushi thinks Anji wont  be able bear the pain... If I was Khushi I would have turned to ASR... whether he believes it  or not that is another story... but I would have laid my cards on the table and said now do what you want...

Shyam is a compulsive liar and a schemer... perhaps he needs counselling LOL



Edited by LadyLaLa - 15 December 2011 at 1:42pm
FairyLiquidSoap IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 15 December 2011 at 10:51am | IP Logged

Serial I read your post with a great deal of interest and funnily enough that was what was also going through my mind about Anjali's reaction as I too had a similar experience albeit it was a girlfriend boyfriend relationship.( He was the worst sleaze ball on a slime bucket but she refused to believe me when I told her that and he later proceeded to break her heart with some dire consequences)

 
I really do empathize and sympathize and can understand the pain you must have gone through not to mention the soul searching trauma you must have endured before deciding to tell her. It is not an easy decision and one filled with thorns. The sad fact is that they would rather believe their cheating partners rather than see the reality of their lives but then a song line by Paloma Faith Do you want the truth or something beautiful comes to my mind and I think your friend chose to live in denial and after reading your second part I so very understand her decision and yes the sad part is her vengeance will come later and will unquestionably leave a bitter taste in her mind-of the years, tears and youth lost in trying to keep up a lie.

One day for sure she will appreciate that you were a really good friend who meant the best for her and even though she may lack the courage to look you in the eye, she will thank you in her heart and that is the best that can be wished for. Sending you healing energy and hope you continue to do what you think is right.

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