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Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

A possibly controversial post on Anji-Shyam UPDTD (Page 2)

helloaamir Goldie
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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 6:19pm | IP Logged
You guys are absolutely right I think. I am not completely defending his actions either, but its true. I feel like Shyam actually does feel something real for KKG, and its disgusting what he did to try to obtain her, but Anjali DOES obsess over him like he does for Khushi, as you guys have already said. But for someone as sweet as Anji is, personality wise, I dont think her relationship with Shyam is meant to be doomed. Maybe for a while it will be, but I think KKG will change Shyam and help him change, and bring him back to RM or something.

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SunriseGreen

napstermonster Goldie
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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 6:31pm | IP Logged
See, I dont know whether Anjali is JUST a devotee at Shyam's feet, because even though they are both damaged people, there have been glimpses of there being more to their marriage. They talk about family, and she asks for his advice, and they seem to share an inner life as well, where he comforts her and does act like a sensible family member for the rest of the Raizadas. I wonder, whether  somewhere deep in there, there is some affection for Anjali, coupled, of course, with contempt for her incredible blind spot. Surely if he hated and despised his wife, ASR would have picked up on it. Maybe the Khushi thing is his first real deviation? 

I do think Shyam is a psychopath, and hence incapable of forming normal loving bonds, and a psychopath would actually see Anjali's devotion as almost hilarious, and intentionally victimize her even more for her weakness.However, other than Khushi, who he has not touched as yet (I have never understood why he hasnt even tried to touch her, when he's done so much to get her while in contrast ASR has felt her up practically every day since she first fell on him).

Shyam has had no other women hanging about, so if he is a psychopath, purely, where did this obsessive love (yeah...gag) with Khushi come from? He fell for her when he rescued her family from the gundas, if i recall, so why would he do an act like that if there isnt anything in him thats remotely decent? Even murderers have other sides, Shyam cant be pure evil, just like Anjali is not purely good.

Having said that, Anjali is not  a fully sane cookie either-I think the loss of her family, the clear breakup of her first marriage, perhaps even her loss of an innocent and adorable Arnav (who has hardened into ASR) has made her absolutely terrified of any further abandonment. She will cling to anyone and everyone, but especially to her husband. She tries to control an unknown world by praying and fasting in a manner that is not devotional so much as obsessive and crippling.  No one reacts the way she did with her mangal-sutra tearing without this being a trigger for some deep psychological issues.

This might even be what Shyam is referring to with the "no one knows what happens behind closed doors." I totally believe any man would be completely turned off and even freaked out by Anjali's level of crazed devotion, and I bought it when he said at the very beginning  of his justification scene "uss ghar mein mera dum ghoot te hai." 

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Kgirl321serendipity235DTeacherSunriseGreenCDlove

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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 6:36pm | IP Logged

''...He didn't even mention what he was talking about and it seemed like he was just expressing his feelings and it didn't seem like he had a reason to lie at that time...''


Disagree, particularly with the line highlighted above.

1. By that time, he has already become obsessed with Khushi and he may even be saying this subsconsciously. Or he could just be inadvertently setting 'signals' for Khushi's own consciousness to imbibe, without directly stating something as fact. He certainly uses such deviant methods later on as he grows in confidence and their 'relationship' (even if only in his own warped mind) 'grew'. Angry

2. It might not actually be seen as a lie by HIM. Shyam may even be deluding himself as to whether his marriage, or rather his spouse, is a good one. It's something that psychologists refer to as 'cognitive distortion.' Offenders often 'use' cognitive distortion to justify certain actions.  Looking at a simplistic and non-offensive example of this: A person is on a strict diet and is told NOT to eat a chocolate cake. He/she keeps looking at it and then says to him/herself: ''I'll eat it and then exercise a little more next time I go to the gym'' Embarrassed  (I could give better and more serious examples but it would be straying off topic too much, I guess). 

With regards to Anjali, she is not able-bodied so this may prevent any physical relationship between the pair, but then she hasn't suddenly become like this AFTER marriage, has she? Moreover, if he doesn't like his wife THAT much and he is so unhappy, why does he not divorce her BEFORE chasing after another girl? With regards to romance, Shyam doesn't seem to make much effort to be romantic with his wife, does he? He's hardly ever there! Anjali certainly reacts favourably to any perceived romantic gestures from him - remember the 'candles' scene? Dead

To be honest, it's a complex situation but I'm pretty sure of one thing. Disproportionate blame should NOT be attached to Anjali, when it is crystal clear who the culprit in the main is here; Shyam. 

P.S. Shyam appears to have a narcissistic personality disorder - that's seems patently obvious - whether he turns into a psychopath will depend on where the CVs decide to take us. LOL After the scene between Khushi and Anjali today, my concern is that they may try to redeem the snake's character and make him ' an okay guy' after Khushi has 'made him see the light' - hated her comments to Anjali today - don't do this, CVs !! Angry



Edited by DTeacher - 14 December 2011 at 6:42pm
serialjunkie IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 6:39pm | IP Logged
I think Shyam is a psychopath with a serious Savior complex.

Remember Anjali once mentioned that he rescued her and married her under some dire circumstance when most would have just turned their backs on Anjali?

We saw this again when KKG was helpless and was trying to get a foothold in Delhi, he showed up and "saved" her by giving her a job at ASR's warehouse?

He thinks of himself as a savior of helpless women, a salve to their harried souls and does not see anything wrong. In fact he thinks of it as a public service, where would these helpless women would otherwise get the kind of support and help he is so freely willing to offer? Thats his thought process ,not mine :-)
 
momma1128 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 6:39pm | IP Logged
I will grant that Shyam having to put up with Anjali and her uber obssessive puja paaths can be suffocating. But, what I will not forgive nor forget is that he is a greedy coward who doesn't have the balls to tell his wife something is wrong in their marriage. Devi Maiyya knows Anjali would bend over backwards to fix it if she could. And nor did he have the balls to ask for a divorce or separation because he's greedy. Nor did he have the balls to tell Khushi anything about his marital status while he boldly plotted the death of her dad. So, Shyam, no matter what iota of sympathy he could garner for a difficult married life loses because he took the path of a ballless wonder. Which is why he is a snake and Anjali needs to smash her puja thali on his head. If the CVs make him a saint, it will be disgusting.

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areeba_blossom IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 6:42pm | IP Logged
Nice post and i'm really glad u brought this topic up! 
There really has to be a reason for Shyam running after Khushi, beside lust because that was really visible whenever he looked at her!

Anjali i do believe is really obsessed with this man! She's fully dependent on him and most of her time is on poojas and varts!

Shyam's character has so far shown to be negative but there HAS to be reason behind his antics! 

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SunriseGreen

LuvShuv Senior Member
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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 7:13pm | IP Logged
Tragic past, deformity, insecurity, idealistic, romantic, devout--Anjali actions are consistent with what her character's history would be. Today when her mangalsutra broke, I would have been stunned if she put it aside and said, "I'll get that to the jewelers tomorrow, now tell me what's on your mind, Khushiji?" 
If the sign of KKG catching the mangalsutra is that she will save Anj's marriage--then KKG will have to reform Shyam. The writers would have to handle that very sensitively, because Shyam's is a criminal. He has tried to destroy Babuji multiple times. There is someone blackmailing him at the moment. He seems to regularly defraud his wife. 
Moreover, I'm not sure whether reforming Shyam would be TV worth watching.

My prediction is that Shyam will develop into an even greater villian. He will be more subtle, and will appear reformed, but will be more evil than ever.
That will be worth watching.

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Kgirl321true-blueserendipity235DTeacherSunriseGreen

Opti IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 14 December 2011 at 7:46pm | IP Logged
Anjali does not have a serious physical disability which will not allow her to have a normal married life.  There are women with even more serious disability (confined to wheelchairs) who can still lead a normal marital life.  So I cant accept that she is physically not up to pleasing her husband but I do not know how she mentally views the entire physical relationship with her husband. If she treats him as a God, maybe she feels the need to be more of a devotee rather than a normal woman.  

If Shyam does feel his married life is incomplete and Anjali can never fulfill it, then he should have divorced her rather than fool her, her entire family.  The guy is greedy, wants a comfortable life that his wife's wealth can provide and also wants a girl as innocent and effervescent as Khushi. As he said to Shashiji, he wants to have a woman in each of his hand. 

The guy is a creep and no amount of justification can redeem him for me.  I hope they dont do another Dev on him.

As to Khushi saving her mangalsutra, I would view it more in the short term rather than the long term. It is considered inauspicious for the mangalsutra to break because the husband's life is supposed to be in danger.  If Khushi reveals the truth about Shyam, Arnav is most likely to kill him for playing with the lives of the two women who matter the most to him, his sister and Khushi. Khushi has already witnessed the depth of love he has for his sister who means the world to him. She has also seen the way he reacted when the goondas tried to hurt her.  Given the enormity of what Shyam has done one can only imagine the enormity of Arnav's rage once he comes to know the truth. So Khushi will spare Shyam's life for Anjali's sake because she knows that this woman is too weak withstanding the catastrophe of losing her husband and her brother(if Arnav kills Shyam).

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