1. Make a bonfire, throw their books in, and say "It's Magic!"
2. Tell them the Weasley's are gingers.
3. Say that Harry belongs with Hermoine, rather than her screwing Ron.
4. Constantly tell them that Edward Cullen is hotter than Harry.
5. Argue that Stephanie Meyer could beat J.K. Rowling in a drag race.
6. Tell them that James from Twilight could eat Voldemort. Literally.
7. Repetitively ask if Harry likes playing with magic sticks, if you know what I mean.
8. Remind them Daniel Radcliffe was in a play where he was naked and fantasized about horses.
9. Run around riding a tree branch, shouting "I'M HARRY POTTER!"
10. Talk with a horrible British accent and claim you go to Hogwarts.
12. Exclaim "Well Harry doesn't sparkle in the sunlight!"
13. Tell them Bella is much prettier than Ginny.
14. Insist that Snape uses Loreal to condition his hair.
15. When seeing a poster or picture with Harry on it, scream "THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!"
16. Pronounce the actor's names wrong.
17. Ask who Harry Potter is.
18. Tell them Dumbledore hides a rabbit under his hat.
19. Pronounce the character's names wrong.
20. Suggest that Harry should look into a pair of D&G glasses rather than his silly round ones.
21. Ask if Voldemort got plastic surgery on his nose.
22. Say Harry should try out Mederma.
23. Ask "If Harry's scar hurts so bad, then why doesn't he just take Tylenol?!"
24. Tell them "Why so Sirus — Black?"
25. Ask them if they do know what Harry means and claim J.K. Rowling is perverted.
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