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Joined: 21 July 2011
The night passed in a daze for Abhay & Pia both lost in their own world, Haseena's each words ringing like a bell on their head. Pia tossed and turned restlessly in her bed alone as not having to pretend for Ansh's sake for tonight Abhay had moved to the other room silently leaving a solid and real void in the room and in her heart. She tried to block out the words spoken by Haseena. No, Pia thought to herself she does not knew what Abhay did. It was unforgivable. No had Haseena known it she would have never blamed Pia.
In an attempt to soothe herself Pia walked outside to get herself some comfort food. Maybe, her favorite chocolate ice cream would help.
She passed Ansh's room while on her way to the kitchen when the slightly ajar door caught her attention. She peeked into it and was stunned for a moment. Abhay was sleeping on Ansh's bed holding his fav Pooh the bear & bed time story book tightly to his heart. A feeling of painful lonliness and loss washed over her as she stared at his sleeping form realizing how much she missed his warm touch, that protective embrace of his strong arms, those warm and wanting gazes of his blue eyes which used to set her heart in a flutter. The tempest of emotions came down crashing on her. Her love for him mixed with her anger & disgust for his actions, the need and want for him all knocked her like a punch in the guts. She can't forgive him nor can she forget him. Every day is a battle for her wanting and not wanting him at the same time. Loving and hating him.
A tear escaped her eyes as the pain escalated inside her. Slowly on tip toes without once hesitating she walked inside and covered him with the blanket, gazing at his face for a long time. As though of their own will her hands crawled up to his face and lightly caressed it. The familiar contours of his face felt as tough and smooth as before, she closed her eyes for a moment feeling him under her touch after so long. A daft of wind from the window brought her to her senses. She ran back and broke down crying in the pillow. Sometime in the night she cried herself to sleep.
The rude loud door bell waked her up. Looking at the clock she jumped out of bed realizing she slept the whole morning. Checking herself in the mirror she ran towards the door after assuring that she looked presentable.
She opened the door to see Haseena standing in the doorway and have an excited Ansh flinging himself on her.
Ansh- Mommy, we were standing for so long.
Pia (hugging her son) ' Momma was tired baby, so she slept late, (kissing him) so sorry. Did you enjoyed yourself? Mom please come inside. ( she said to Haseena who was standing at the door, without meeting her eyes). Tell me everything ok. But first go change.
Ansh- Where is dad? I want to show him my new playstation nanu gave me and want to play?
Pia (knowing he must be in the studio)- Daddy is at work sweetheart. Tell you what, go and freshen up mommy will make yummy breakfast for you and then we both can eat and play? Hmmh?
Ansh excitedly- Yes, I'll be well practiced before dad comes and defeat him. Dad keeps saying na..pro'pla'plekist
Pia finished his sentence with a sigh- Practice makes one perfect.
Ansh- Yes that. Kissing him once more Pia set him down and he ran towards his room.
Reluctantly she turned towards Haseena who was looking the way Ansh vanished with a sad smile on her face.
Pia ( a bit hesitating )- Mom will you have some coffee?
Haseena (as though she did not heard her)- Who would say he is not Abhay's own. Apart from Jeh's eyes and smile he is in and out Abhay's son. Is not he? She looked directly at Pia.
Pia- He never got to know Jeh properly mom. And Abhay loves him more than anything. Sometimes, its like he himself don't remember that Ansh is Jeh's son. Said Pia wondering why she feels sad about it. Should not she be happy about it?
Haseena as though reading her mind- And you are not happy about it are you?
Shocked she looked up at her. Haseena went and sat herself in the couch. She directed Pia to sit who clearly wanted to avoid this discussion yet have no choice.
Haseena- Pia, do you know why me and Chand wanted and convince you to marry Abhay? ( She looked at her and blinked ) because we could see how much he loves you. He loves you so much that he also loves anything and everything related to you. And we as grand parents wanted that for our only grand child. A father who would love him as his own. And see we were not wrong. Abhay loves him as much as he loves you. But we wanted you to be happy too. And you were, until your miscarriage.
A sharp pain shot through her heart at the mention of her unborn that crossed through her face. That did not go unnoticed by Haseena.
Pia- Mom please I don't want to talk about it. Yes I admit nothing is right between me and Abhay, but the..mi'mis..carriage had nothing to do with it. If you knew what he did.
Haseena- I don't and don't even want to know it. It's between you and him. But remember one thing whatever he did you pushed him towards it. Your loss your pain your guilt made you push him away, when all both of you needed was each other.
Pia- Guilt?? What guilt?
Haseena- Of not being able to protect yours and Abhay's child. Which was not your fault Pia. It was an accident. But you held yourself responsible and this fear and guilt of yours made you push Abhay away from you. Have you for once wondered what he was going through? He was experiencing the same pain & guilt. We were their to console you but no one for Abhay except you and you turned away from him wallowing in self pity.
Pia was silenced by her blatant yet true words. Words that she always knew to be true but never accept it. Her heart ached and she could no longer held back those tears. She hugged Haseena and cried like a child cries in her mothers embrace holding back nothing. She cried and cried until all her pain were washed away and Haseena patiently held on to her patting her head. Pia separated herself and looked at Haseena with a smile and assured her she will make everything ok.
After Haseena went Pia ran straight to Ansh and scopped her surprised son on her lap and went in circle around the house. She felt free, free of pain, guilt and is now full of hope and happiness for a new and happy future. All day she prepared the house, decorated it with her favorite curtains and filled the flowers vase with beautiful flowers. She prepared Abhay's favorite dishes. She can't wait for Abhay to come home, when she will run to him and tell him how much she loves him. And how together they will make everything perfect and be happy.
She waited. The sun set. Evening came and went bringing with it a night where Pia waited and waited for Abhay. But till mid-night Abhay did not came.
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Joined: 21 July 2011
Joined: 21 July 2011
Joined: 24 January 2012
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