The night passed in a daze for
Abhay & Pia both lost in their own world, Haseena's each words ringing like
a bell on their head. Pia tossed and turned restlessly in her bed alone as not
having to pretend for Ansh's sake for tonight Abhay had moved to the other room
silently leaving a solid and real void in the room and in her heart. She tried to block out the words
spoken by Haseena. No, Pia thought to herself she does not knew what Abhay did.
It was unforgivable. No had Haseena known it she would have never blamed Pia.
In an attempt to soothe herself
Pia walked outside to get herself some comfort food. Maybe, her favorite
chocolate ice cream would help.
She passed Ansh's room while on
her way to the kitchen when the slightly ajar door caught her attention. She
peeked into it and was stunned for a moment. Abhay was sleeping on Ansh's bed
holding his fav Pooh the bear & bed time story book tightly to his heart. A
feeling of painful lonliness and loss washed over her as she stared at his
sleeping form realizing how much she missed his warm touch, that protective
embrace of his strong arms, those warm and wanting gazes of his blue eyes which
used to set her heart in a flutter. The tempest of emotions came down crashing
on her. Her love for him mixed with her anger & disgust for his actions,
the need and want for him all knocked her like a punch in the guts. She can't forgive
him nor can she forget him. Every day is a battle for her wanting and not
wanting him at the same time. Loving and hating him.
A tear escaped her eyes as the
pain escalated inside her. Slowly on tip toes without once hesitating she
walked inside and covered him with the blanket, gazing at his face for a long
time. As though of their own will her hands crawled up to his face and lightly
caressed it. The familiar contours of his face felt as tough and smooth as
before, she closed her eyes for a moment feeling him under her touch after so
long. A daft of wind from the window brought her to her senses. She ran back
and broke down crying in the pillow. Sometime in the night she cried herself to
sleep.
The rude loud door bell waked her
up. Looking at the clock she jumped out of bed realizing she slept the whole
morning. Checking herself in the mirror she ran towards the door after assuring
that she looked presentable.
She opened the door to see
Haseena standing in the doorway and have an excited Ansh flinging himself on
her.
Ansh- Mommy, we were standing for so long.
Pia (hugging her son) ' Momma was
tired baby, so she slept late, (kissing him) so sorry. Did you enjoyed
yourself? Mom please come inside. ( she said to Haseena who was standing at the
door, without meeting her eyes). Tell me everything ok. But first go change.
Ansh- Where is dad? I want to
show him my new playstation nanu gave me and want to play?
Pia (knowing he must be in the
studio)- Daddy is at work sweetheart. Tell you what, go and freshen up mommy
will make yummy breakfast for you and then we both can eat and play? Hmmh?
Ansh excitedly- Yes, I'll be well
practiced before dad comes and defeat him. Dad keeps saying na..pro'pla'plekist
Pia finished his sentence with a
sigh- Practice makes one perfect.
Ansh- Yes that. Kissing him once
more Pia set him down and he ran towards his room.
Reluctantly she turned towards
Haseena who was looking the way Ansh vanished with a sad smile on her face.
Pia ( a bit hesitating )- Mom
will you have some coffee?
Haseena (as though she did not
heard her)- Who would say he is not Abhay's own. Apart from Jeh's eyes and
smile he is in and out Abhay's son. Is not he? She looked directly at Pia.
Pia- He never got to know Jeh
properly mom. And Abhay loves him more than anything. Sometimes, its like he
himself don't remember that Ansh is Jeh's son. Said Pia wondering why she feels
sad about it. Should not she be happy about it?
Haseena as though reading her
mind- And you are not happy about it are you?
Shocked she looked up at her.
Haseena went and sat herself in the couch. She directed Pia to sit who clearly
wanted to avoid this discussion yet have no choice.
Haseena- Pia, do you know why me
and Chand wanted and convince you to marry Abhay? ( She looked at her and
blinked ) because we could see how much he loves you. He loves you so much that
he also loves anything and everything related to you. And we as grand parents
wanted that for our only grand child. A father who would love him as his own. And
see we were not wrong. Abhay loves him as much as he loves you. But we wanted
you to be happy too. And you were, until your miscarriage.
A sharp pain shot through her
heart at the mention of her unborn that crossed through her face. That did not
go unnoticed by Haseena.
Pia- Mom please I don't want to
talk about it. Yes I admit nothing is right between me and Abhay, but
the..mi'mis..carriage had nothing to do with it. If you knew what he did.
Haseena- I don't and don't even
want to know it. It's between you and him. But remember one thing whatever he
did you pushed him towards it. Your loss your pain your guilt made you push him
away, when all both of you needed was each other.
Pia- Guilt?? What guilt?
Haseena- Of not being able to
protect yours and Abhay's child. Which was not your fault Pia. It was an
accident. But you held yourself responsible and this fear and guilt of yours
made you push Abhay away from you. Have you for once wondered what he was going
through? He was experiencing the same pain & guilt. We were their to
console you but no one for Abhay except you and you turned away from him
wallowing in self pity.
Pia was silenced by her blatant
yet true words. Words that she always knew to be true but never accept it. Her
heart ached and she could no longer held back those tears. She hugged Haseena
and cried like a child cries in her mothers embrace holding back nothing. She
cried and cried until all her pain were washed away and Haseena patiently held
on to her patting her head. Pia separated herself and looked at Haseena with a
smile and assured her she will make everything ok.
After Haseena went Pia ran
straight to Ansh and scopped her surprised son on her lap and went in circle
around the house. She felt free, free of pain, guilt and is now full of hope
and happiness for a new and happy future. All day she prepared the house,
decorated it with her favorite curtains and filled the flowers vase with
beautiful flowers. She prepared Abhay's favorite dishes. She can't wait for
Abhay to come home, when she will run to him and tell him how much she loves
him. And how together they will make everything perfect and be happy.
She waited. The sun set. Evening
came and went bringing with it a night where Pia waited and waited for Abhay.
But till mid-night Abhay did not came.
Edited by snitchseeker - 11 years ago
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