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Heer bounced in early for her appointment, eager to tell me about the dream she had during the previous night. She appeared less anxious and more relaxed than I had ever seen her. People at work, she told me, had begun to comment that she looked better, that she was being nicer and more patient, even more so than the "old" Heer, before her mother's death. Her designs were getting better and she was getting better and big orders.
"This was not one of my typical dreams," she stressed.
"This dream was more alive and real. I still remember all the details, and I usually forget most of my dreams pretty quickly as you know."
I had been encouraging Heer to write down her dreams as soon as she awakened because I felt that we needed to know what was going to happen that was so important and the dreams were a key to it. I don't know why but U just knew that we had to do something. . . . .or rather, I had to do something.
Keeping a dream journal near your bed and jotting down what you remember of your dreams significantly enhances the memory. Other-wise the content fades rapidly away.
Heer had been somewhat lazy about chronicling her dreams, and by the time she came to the office for her appointment, she had usually forgotten most of the details, if not the entire dream.
This dream was different, so vivid that the details were etched in her mind.
"At first, I entered a large temple. There were no lamps or overhead lights. But the walls were somehow glowing. They emitted light to illuminate the entire temple."
"Were the walls hot?" I asked.
"I don't think so. They gave off light but not heat. I didn't touch the walls though."
"What else did you notice in the temple?"
"I knew it was a temple of some sort, but I could see that it was quite destroyed. In the center of the temple was a statue of the Lord Shiva, ummm, it was actually a Shiv Ling. It was covered by dried leaves. I felt the urge to clear the leaves. I bent and started clearing the area. I was getting an unknown feeling. . . . ."
"What was the feeling."
"It was a beautiful feeling, but it made my heart beat faster. I felt as if I have seen this place before. Aisa laga jaise ki iss mandir aur mera bahut purana aur gehra rishta hai. . . . . janmo purana rishta hai."
"Why did you feel this way?"
"I don't know."
"Have you ever visited such a place?"
"No."
I was confused. I felt that I had to question her more. A very important part of the answer was missing. . . . . the answer of the question - What is going to happen?
"What is the significance of Lord Shiva in your life?" I began.
"Well, when my mother was alive she used to keep a fast on every monday for Shivji and I used to do the same. My mother had told me that if Shivji gets happy, then he will give me my prince charming." She laughed and then continued, "but I know that prince charmings' are only in dreams, isn't it?"
Now it was my turn to answer, "Humm, for me prince charming is one who would love me unconditionally, and for me my husband is my prince charming. He really loves me very much." I smiled to myself. "What is your definition for a prince charming?" I asked.
She looked blank. "I have not thought about that." She confessed honestly.
"So. . . . ." I felt that she was going to say something important, her voice was getting serious.
"I want you to know, that, Shivji and Parvatiji are they only lords whom I worship. I have always loved the way they are. Shivji have always given his wife an equal status, he makes her sit beside him, he respects her and off-course they both love each other." "Shivji and Parvatiji had to go through many odds before getting married. Parvatiji had cried for him and Shivji had tolerated a lot of pain for her. I hope you know the story of their re-union." She added, "Parvatiji had waited to be with her Shiv, she had waited for thousands of years and had taken hundreds of re-births."
I simply nodded. I made a mental note to read about the history of Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati.
She started again, "I feel the same. . . . . I feel like someone is waiting for me, just like Parvatiji waited for Lord Shiva. It's a feeling that can't be described, it can just be felt. I am really sorry doc, but I really can't explain the feeling."
"Its really ok. . . . . I can understand." "Maybe your dream is related to love or the re-union of souls. Though it can mean many other things also. But I feel that it is related to Love, Pain, Tears, Wait, Patience. . . . . " I said. The last line came automatically, even I was surprised at what I said.
"It could be." she said.
"Are you aware of anything else in the room?"
"Yes," she said immediately as if she remembered something important. "There was a man nearby. He was wearing a white kurta and pajama. I was able to see his shadow. And then he disappeared."
At this point my practical mind couldn't contain itself any longer. It was all getting very confusing.
"What happened next?" I was getting quiet impatient. I reminded myself that I am the doctor. I had to wait.
"My heart asked me to run after him so I ran towards his shadow."
"Ok. . . . . " I said when she did not respond.
"Ummm. . . . ." She responded hesitantly.
I wondered why she hesitated now, after already relating some very unusual dream scenes.
"He appeared," she continued, in a voice slightly more than a whisper. "He had the most intense brown chocolaty eyes. His eyes reminded me of the eyes of Onu but the face was not his. He was looking very handsome. I had the urge to touch him and feel him again. I wanted to be in his arms. . . . .He came to me and looked deeply into my eyes."
"Then what?" I said while stopping myself from falling down the chair in excitement.
" I felt the most incredibly love. I knew that everything would be alright, that everything I was going through was part of some plan and that the plan was perfect."
"Did he tell you that?"
"No, he didn't have to. In fact, he didn't say anything. I just felt these things, but somehow they seem to be coming from him. I could feel everything. I knew everything. I knew there was nothing to fear. . . . . ever . . . . . and then he walked away. But I was sure that he would return, he had to return."
"What else?"
"I felt very light. The last thing I remembered is floating in the clouds. I was feeling so loved and so safe. . . . . Then I woke up."
"How do you feel now?"
"I feel okay, but it's fading. I can remember everything about the dream, but the feeling is getting weaker. I don't want to let go of this feeling doc." She said.
"You don't have to, it came from within yourself. You will feel it again." I assured her.
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Later that evening, I played the tape in which I had recorded the proceedings of today's event with Heer and I came to the conclusion that the dream was the answer of that question. I felt that she would meet her soul mate. But when? This was the second question that was answered but still remained unanswered.
While I replayed the tape again and again, I came to know that the five words that I said - Love, Pain, Tears, Wait and Patience. Were the different phases of life that Heer had gone through.
After her mother's death, she only had Pain and tears.
Now, she was waiting . . . . . she was having patience.
Only Love was left.
But I wasn't sure of my conclusions, so I thought to keep mum and let destiny decide. After all. . . . . The plan is Perfect.
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Everyone has to wait.
