Posted: 20 November 2011 at 11:08am | IP Logged
chapter 14 part 1
staying in dis house i feel like i gav got my family back.mom n dad loves me a lot.after 13 yrs of isolation dis feeling of lov n affection,it seems like my dream has come true.bt abhay,its been 3 days since we returned frm hospital bt since den he had been avoiding me.i dnt know y bt he doesnt even look straight into my eyes.he hadnt eaten properly since den.i dnt know wats troubling him.he seems distant.he doesnt smile like he used 2 n it hurts 2 c him dat way.dat spark,dat happiness is missing in his eyes,dat enthusiasm is missing in his voice.he barely speaks 2 me.he didnt even attend clg.college seems like a ruin widout him.i cldnt even concentrate on my studies.widout him i feel empty inside as if a part of me is missing.da way he held me,da way he cried wid me,i had felt a sense of belonging bt nw wen he is avoiding me i feel lyk crying.i want 2 confront him n ask y he is doing so bt wenever i stand infront of him i becom dumb,i cant even utter a word.i jst stand there n he avoids my eyes n leaves me in tears.
2day wen i took his meal 2 his room.he was staring out of the window.i called him bt he didnt respond.wen i tapped his shoulders.he turned back n i cld see the trace of tears in his eyes.i cldnt bear it.tears welled up in my eyes as well.he raised his hands 2 wipe away my tears bt stopped in midway n turned his back 2 me.he shouted at me 2 leave him.i dnt know wat he is thinking.i dnt know myself wats happening 2 me.y cant i see him in tears?y cant i bear his pain?y cant i bear it wen he avoids me?y is it killing me inside?
Ram vaiyya brought back the tray frm his room.he hadnt even touched his meal.if he cld only tell me wats wrong wid him,i wld av gone thru every possible way 2 solve his problem.i guess he doesnt trust me enough 2 share his problems wid me.maybe dats the reason bt i jst dnt want him 2 b in pain.i jst cant c him in dat condition.i wish he cld share his problem wid me.
sorry i havnt been talking 2 u 4 3 days bt lots of things r going around me.wen my mom said dat man was my father i cldnt bear it.i m a son of a murderer,m da son of dat man who snatched away al the happiness of my love.though i dnt consider him 2 be my father bt i cant deny dat da blood flowing in my system in his blood.if i cld i wld av drained my body out of the blood bt i cant do dat as it wld make mom devastated.
I m nt able 2 meet piya's eyes.how can i?after al m a part of dat filthy man.i love her a lot nd dat makes it even more difficult 4 me 2 meet her eyes.i cant confess my love becoz of dis guilt.
Wen i saw tears in her eyes i wanted 2 wipe it away,i wanted 2 hug her n ask her nt 2 cry.her tears pinched me bt i cldnt do so.i hate myself knowing dat m a part of dat monster.how can i touch her wid these hands den.
I havent been attending my clg bt i cant neglect my studies like dis 4 my dad-chand raichand.i must walk on the path he showed me.so i av decided 2 attend da clg bt the project-wat do i do abt dat,how can i say dat we 2 project partners-one's parents were killed by the other's father.
Swthrt i so hate myself 4 being a part of dat person who tortured my love,my life piya nd also my mom.as if it wasnt enough dat he was the murderer dat the fact of him being my father came infront of me knocking me so hard.dis mark on my back always remind me of him nd his sins.
I m glad dat mom n dad loves piya a lot bt me-do i deserve her love??i m frustrated.i cant stay wid her nor can stay away frm her.hope c finds some1 better nd hope c finds all the happiness c deserves.
Gud nt swthrt.
abhay woke up after his disturbing night.he freshened up n entered da kitchen n found piya making tea.he was abt 2 leave da kitchen wen piya called him.
Abhay jst ignored it n rushed outside bt piya followed him.
P:abhay,i need 2 talk 2 u.
A:piya plz i dnt want 2 talk 2 u.
A:dnt ask silly questions.m nt in mood 2 talk.
P:u can say it looking at my eyes too.y dnt u meet my eyes hun?wats happening 2 u?u were never like dis.y hav u changed?
A:cant i piya?its my life n i can change wenever i want.
Abhay rushed 2wards his room leaving piya in verge of tears.abhay entered his room nd banged his fist on the wall nd closed his eyes letting the tears fall down.
Piya was hurt.c sat down on the chair nd stared blankly at nothing.haseena nd chand saw piya in dat state.
Piya looked at haseena trying 2 smile bt c cldnt smile.how cld c wen her heart was in so much pain.
H:wat happened piya.
H:hey y r u crying?
Chand:did he say something?
P:no dad bt...bt he has changed.he is so rude 2 me nd avoides me as much as possible.i dnt know why he is doing so.i dnt want 2 loose my best fren.
H:dnt worry piya.it wil be alright.jst give him sometime.
Piya hugged haseena nd haseena patted her back.
P:everything will be alright na?
H:ya everything will be alright.
part 2 posted below.
Edited by -srija- - 21 November 2011 at 7:08am
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