Story # 1: "CID aur Nanhay Detectives", its really an excillent effort, consists of very much maar dhaar, Caine character was superbly portrayed, Abhijeet exclusion and inclusion was great, the invasion of black cat, vikrant and every character was really good, use and gyaan of ammunations was also good but bit OTT especially at first scene, the idea of why the three students be there much be logical, the writing languagee was mind blowing, story was littel lengthy.
Story # 2: "Bhutiya Larki Ka Raaz", some glimpse of Abhi Sir revolves in my mind and gives
a smile on my lips while reading the title, it a new and very very good approach,
i must admit that the clutter as being a student now a days we all facing, the mafia which
really draw a line on wrong path for young shinnes, Sachin grabbed by police was hilirious
and i really saw the scene infront of my eyes where Sachin told the subject name of his research to the guy, the culprit at the end was easily identified, but really this try in a very different aspect.
Story # 3 : "Maut Ka Aashirwaad", its a nice try, the language creating problem for me because the writer used SMS language specially in some places, basically i did not find any difference in this story from the original episode except the chemical name, same Kajal and her brother inclusion in the case, same cuts found at groom thumb and bride head, the same finger prints found at utensils and washed by groom father, but a good try.
Story # 4: "Bhagdad Mein Hui Maut Ka Raaz", i think the writer dragged the episode, sume gyaan are good, but tried to be more crisp, the last patch was OTT.
I'm posting my reviews a bit early because I'll be online via mobile only for quite a while now. Those who haven't sent their scores yet, please read this after doing so. 😛 😉 😆 Just my humble opinions here.
Story 1 (CID Aur Nanhe Detectives)
From the choice of the episode, I had expected something more moderate, but this was quite an action-packed story! Though that's understandable, given the villains are terrorists. The attack on the school, weapons and countermeasures by commandoes were very realistically depicted. Interesting how it was turned into an Abhijeet-centric story, and Imran's relationship with him was sweetly shown. Cain was a formidable villain. I liked how you brought in a flavour of AKAKR without merging the actual story with it. The scene where ACP sir forcefully frees the criminal from cops could also have been adapted, but the story worked well without it too. You could've trimmed it a bit though, but anyway, great work! 👍🏼
Story 2 (Bhutiya Ladki Ka Raaz)
I think this was a very sensible and well-thought way to handle the plot. The twist regarding the paper-leaking racket was unexpected and very well done, including the suspense built up to it in the previous scenes. Apt, clear style of writing and good investigation. Sachin's disguise scene was nice and I liked how it was shown via the flashback… a student of "protein crystallography in biomolecules" 😆. Good technical details and forensic scene, such as Dr. Salunkhe's demonstration of diffraction which leads them in search of the projector (I'd have liked a bit more deduction leading up to this point, though). Really enjoyed it. 👏
Story 3 (Maut Ka Aashirwaad)
Good effort. The forensic scenes and interactions between the team were improved, but I felt much of the story remained largely the same as the original episode. You could've tried adding more twists and turns, for example, perhaps Salunkhe adding "mujhe toh koi fingerprints mile hi nahin the" after the culprit had confessed. Also, try not to use SMS lingo so that it's easier to understand. I'm sure you can do even better! 😊
Story 4 (Bhagdar Mein Maut Ka Raaz)
The concept of toxic paint was intriguing, though I'm not sure if it's enough to classify it as a federal offense. The suspense was well built up and method of death was interesting, I also liked how Daya's past relationship with the victim was depicted. However, I feel the story dragged a lot and could do with quite a bit of trimming. Interactions between the duo were a bit… weird and unnatural in places. For example the scene where Daya sir carries Abhijeet out of the room was interesting, but the actual description was quite OTT. If you could look into these issues more, I'm sure you can do much better. 😊
Story 5 (Khatra Chemical Bomb Ka)
Tip of my hat to all the hard work going on at Tum Pagal Ho Road in Lala Land 😉 😆. The writing style was crisp and clear, and the pace was adrenaline-fueled and exciting. The entire sequence of the team hunting down the bombs and diffusing them was well shown. The puzzles and clues involved were interesting, though you could've made them a bit more in a way that the reader could be involved further themselves (example, the anagram was quite tough to solve alone until it was involved). Dhiru was a good villain with a sympathetic background, but I thought his motive at the end could've been improved a bit (example, "main aapki pariksha le raha tha" instead of "main badla le raha tha"). Also you could've expanded on how possessed the experti to create and plant the bombs so well. Nevertheless, cool and exciting story. 😃
Story 6 (Daya Ki Dulhan Ka Raaz)
Nice attempt. Most of it was a notable improvement over the original and the investigation + characterization were well depicted, staying true to the team's character. Ramesh's and Rizwain's characters were intriguing, and the Daya/Ansha scenes were kept short and to-the-point. I think Ansha should've had a stronger motive for trapping Daya sir and you could've portrayed her as a more formidable, femme fatale-esque villain which would've made the story more exciting. Also the second half was a bit hastily paced and the climax could've been stronger. But despite the heartbreak, the ending was sweet and I liked the duo interaction here much more than in the original. Good work! 😊
Story 7 (Daya Ek Qatil)
An immediate and notable improvement over the original. The story was crisp and exciting and the entire first half with Daya sir getting framed was full of tingling excitement, loved it. The interactions between the team were faithfully and meticulously portrayed, and props to you for the forensic scenes which, despite retaining some of the annoyance that the team initially displays with Dr. Salunkhe, were true to their characters and sensibly portrayed with no OTT-ness. The investigation was great and the way you merged the two seemingly unrelated cases was seamless. The climax with the stakes rising to the CM's life was unexpected and wonderfully written. The motive for the culprit framing Daya could've been a bit stronger though, but I really liked the story nevertheless. 👏 😃
Story 8 (Manav Bomb)
I liked how you turned this into a Dr. Salunkhe-centric story. The suspense revolving around him was built up well and the development of Dr. Chaturvedi's character in the story was good too, especially how he rallied and brainwashed the students around him. Investigation scenes were engaging, good interactions between the team and the writing style was clear and easy to understand as well. ACP sir's leadership was very well shown. The climax was really exciting as well and the trio's quick actions were really praise-worthy. The ending felt a little rushed and could've been a bit more elaborate, and I think the villains should have been given a stronger motive for what they did, but nevertheless I really think it was changed for the better, substituting questionable scenes with much more exciting and sensible ones. Great work, I really enjoyed it. 👏
Story 9 (CID Dhoom – Bus Hijack)
Long story short, I'll sum this up in one word – WOW! Your layout of story progression resembled Michael Crichton's – educating the reader while simultaneously entertaining him/her… here, a summary of serious problems in our society coupled with a dying vigilante fighting against them – and this, combined with the thrilling action sequences, sympathetic edge to the story and excellent planning + characterization, made this a total roller coaster ride. I don't know where to begin, but I'll first mention the technical details, which were simply superb – ACP sir using the helicopter to temporarily disable the radio signal, Sahil's speeches on the radio and the team figuring out further locations using his riddles were superbly shown and spot-on in their accuracy. Sahil Gupta is a truly sympathetic and unique antagonist; especially the part with his adopted children and the entire ending part were truly touching. Daya and Abhijeet's actions to chase and stop the bus were exciting and superbly written. I am literally shivering with excitement to think what a treat it'd have been if the original episode was even 2% as good as this. I humbly tip my hat to you – absolutely outstanding work!!! 👏 ⭐️ 😃
Story 10 (Ganesh Utsav Special)
The idea of drug smugglers using Lord Ganesha's murthis to do their dirty work was interesting, and you really succeeded in properly integrating this theme with the rest of the story, where the original episode totally fell apart. Technical details of the team tracking down the statues using the paint were well written and the team distribution was good. Nice investigative procedures as well, and very clear, crisp writing style. I'd have liked to see the villain (Gani bhai) involved more though, and the climax had potential to be more action-packed. But otherwise, a very good story and a notable improvement over the original. Very good! 😃
Story #1: A very clear & well-written story & a huge relief 4m d original irritating "hume pehle se pata tha" script. D characters luked real, 4m d terrorists to d commandos , even d 'Operation Ragnarok' everything was convincing. Of all, abhi sir's action scenes wer d best of course.
Story #2: felt lyk watching a 2005-06 era case whr epi names constituted only a part of d actual case & d entire story was not forcefully centered around d title. Sachin's scene was hilarious. Very clearly expressed, never felt confused at any point of tym while reading . dealt wid a really serious issue faced by d students .
Story #3: Mine.(along with some others)
Story #4: A bit dragged wid overdose of emotional drama. Although d lines –
" Saluke= ACP, daya sahi keh raha hai. Usne badi hoshiyari se abhijeet ko sone nahi diya. Waise ACP agar tumhare paas yeh dono na hote to ?
ACP(proud voice)= to shayad yeh ACP Pradyuman bhi nahi hota !! "
R outstanding & describes d bonding between our beloved trio & der chemistry over d 14 yrs of service.
Story #5 : 11 bombs..omg !! Story was really gud..gave a "kaante ki takkar" to d original epi. However, d codes were too easy to decode, & d culprit was too easily caught. D motive of crime was silly & FW type. But d disclaimer at d beginning of d story was too gud.
Story #6: I wished dey had shown dis story instead of d crap dat was originally aired..it's a damn lot better, aftr all, it's a lot more sensible plot along wid d investigations & also we wud hv been spared of dat ' hume sab pehle se pata tha so audience plz endure an emotional atyachar'.
Story #7: d story was confusing at several places…to go thru it several tyms to understand it properly. However, it's nice to c abhi-daya's beautiful chemistry & d motive was also a gud one
Story #8: a much logical process of creating human bombs instead of inserting dem in sum1's stomach. A nice change 4m d usual abhi-daya centric stories…it's nice to c d faith dat Dr.saluke showed in his team in dat hour of crisis. Although d motive of crime was really silly.
Story #9: undoubtedly d best story of d contest. Excellent ,outstanding etc etc r very small words to describe such a superb creation, although I wished d stunt scene had been done by abhijeet sir himself (I luved it in d original epi ). Motive of d crime was also worth noting. D story was lengthy no doubt, but d amount of in4mation dat it gv me compensated 4 everything.
Story #10: Another story was dealt wid a serious problem of d present era ie corruption amongst higher police authorities dat lead dem to support such criminals. Very clearly expressed, never felt confused at any point of tym while reading. Freddy always manages to amuse us wid his actions..luved his tug-of-war wid d idols. D concept of gving a brief summary at d end was a gud one.
CID Aur Nanhe detectives ' There was less investigation and more of action and shooting and firing. The descriptions were very good but a bit confusing in the last action scene. There was a bit of an overdose of some 'filmy' style threatening, placing people at gunpoint etc. The way the episode started off on the backdrop of AKA and Abhijeet being suspended, I expected some more time to be spent in clearing Abhijeet's name. But that part didn't have an connection to the main story. Never mind. You managed to weave your story around what FW showed ' people being taken hostage in a school and 3 kids contacting CID. That's really commendable.
Bhutiya Ladki : Big deal'..it's mine''does it matter now? ;-) You all comment on it.
Maut Ka Ashirwad: First of all, sorry to say, your SMS lingo is a bit annoying. 'cut d fon' etc. Please use full words. Many of us use mobiles but don't use short forms to this extent. Moving on, it was good to see that the normal police had already had a look at the murder and they were 'handing over' the case to CID. The case was somewhat like the original, not much change. Why we dislike the original was because of some nonsensical scenes in the forensic lab by Salunkhe. You have deleted those, thanks for that. Otherwise the flow of the story, plot ' everything was like the original. Maybe this was an 'episode rectifier' rather than writing a new story. The story is good, but'.the rule said that you had to make it predominantly your own. Take the idea from a story and create a new story'you were welcome to use a few scenes or dialogues but not more than that. I should appreciate your efforts, because your story was much better than what they showed. Other than the sms lingo, it was easy to follow, maybe because we have already seen the episode and have an idea of what it is. But'..it doesn't fully satisfy all rules of the contest. Will not disqualify it, though.
Bhagdad mein maut: There was a bomb explosion but maybe you could have written this as part of the story rather than write it as a 'plot' at the start. I got a bit confused about the screen that was closed and the screen that was open. The laash was found in one place where a movie was on. Screen no 5 was not yet open. Then Daya asked for the ticket chart then why did the manager say that the screen is not open? From the ticket chart we can find the identities of those who have purchased tickets online and through credit card, but not people who buy tickets on the spot using cash. So the manager cannot really tell who had bought the ticket and who had actually come to see the movie. The ticket buyer may have bought it for someone else. So Daya shouldn't be asking the manager in such a menacing manner. Some words were mistyped ' like Fire 'Extinction' for Fire 'Extinguisher' or Fire 'Exit''I didn't get which one. The story idea was ok'.poisoning using paint which had high lead content.
Abhijeet finding T and punching hands with Daya in the lab'.hmmm'.I am really bored of this track, so personally I would have preferred if this scene were not included. I know there maybe others who like it, so I don't want to comment on it. Some of the conversations were a bit 'unnecessary', like ABhijeet asking Daya to slap him to help him remember where he had seen the guy. This scene could have been avoided.
Is there any need for CID team to make caps and show the STD booth guy? They could have just brought the booth guy to bureau and made him watch the footage'.;-)
The shaadi dialogue of Goa episode need not have been used in the lead-filled room. That entire scene was OTT . I actually scrolled down to the next scene'..please avoid OTT dialogues and scenes'.I feel uncomfortable reading some of these scenes.
Khatra Chemical Bomb ka: This writer had written the 7 laashes episode in the previous contest. And now 9 bombs!!! Do we have a 'problem of plenty' here?? J
This was the real 'chemical bomb'. The original had one major flaw'.the bomb which CID team diffused in the end was not a 'chemical bomb'.. It was a normal timed bomb which might or might not have been made of chemicals. The 'chemical' part had no relevance there. You have made use of phosphorus in the bomb here, so this justifies the title.
Then I didn't understand why a criminal would send real clues to CID. He could have kept quiet about it'he would have been successful. Or if he wanted some thrill and fun he could have just called them and said that he was going to cause a blast. There was no need to give any clues. He could have enjoyed keeping the CID team in tension.
The motive for murder was just like the 'Case of 6:48', but a bit unrealistic that he would give CID team the exact clues which would lead them to him in Pune. Anyway the story had the thrill and excitement factor.
Daya ki dulhann: Well, you wanted to change something but this one is not very drastically different from what they showed. Again it is a shaadi as a naatak except that duo didn't fight with each other. Also, the lady turned out to be a criminal and not a cop in the end. It was entertaining, no doubt, but frankly I would have expected you to give a valid reason for the marriage. It's difficult for me to even think of this'J Maybe not the marriage ceremony, but Daya bringing a lady dressed as a dulhann in disguise or something. I don't know'.but again a nakli shaadi'hmmm'...but at least I was happy to see Abhijeet willingly participating in the celebration. If Daya were ever to really get married, I want to see a happy Abhijeet at the wedding, dancing and enjoying himself and not angry and sulking as they showed. So I liked this part.
Daya ek Qatil? ' Good one, but there is some confusion. When did Daya work in Chennai in the past 14 years? That too without Abhijeet's knowledge? This part is a bit hazyThe first scene which Abhijeet saw on TV is also not very clear. It was missing a few details. One thing about this writer is that s/he has many ideas in mind and does not write everything. There is a tendency to cut it short and assuming that the reader will get the picture. But most of the time it doesn't happen so. So the first scene should have been more elaborate. That was where the murder happened. It was important to let the other readers see what Abhijeet had seen on TV. You shouldn't have made this part so brief.
The bomb blast and the attempted assassination on CM was like a PK story, but linked to Daya phasaofying. . Would have loved to see the episode completely dedicated to clearing Daya's name without the extra confusion'you know ' the impossible murder type. Something like - Daya had arrested someone and he was trying to take revenge against Daya or maybe Daya knew that a murder was about to happen there and in the process landed at the crime scene and got trapped by mistake. But anyway'.it was much, much better than the 'gun-in-cake' and the 'cooking contest' rubbish that we saw on TV.
Manav Bomb: To be frank it looked a lot like what we saw on TV to start with. Later the twist of Salunkhe's kidnapping was introduced. This is a good idea but there is a bit of a question about how and when he was kidnapped. When Abhijeet, Daya, Tasha etc had seen Salunkhe in the college, why did they suddenly return to bureau without doing the investigation at the college or maybe confronting Salunkhe there. Why did they just leave him talking to Ramprakash? Then another twist of T and S being kidnapped'.this is another form of AC. So, you can say this story has flavours from many past episodes ' not just Manav Bomb. In the end, it was a bit confusing as to why Salunkhe couldn' speak to CID team. Why was he writing on the board? Also if the bomb was just attached to his shirt then is this really a Manav Bomb? Manav bomb means that the bomb has been placed inside the person's body surgically. This was the basic requirement of 'Manav Bomb'. But placing a bomb outside is just a 'suicide bomber'. But still, overall nice attempt and good to see that the horrible scene of Daya carrying a bomb soaking in blood removed from the Manav Bomb's stomach with his bare hands and throwing it into the sky has been done away with. This was a sickening scene in the original.
And hey, you have destroyed the bureau'.will we get a renovated, well-lit bureau? ;-)
Dhoom Bus Hijack:
There are a few typos'.can see that you have written in a hurry. Never mind.
It's very very thrilling. Maybe you should have used some unknown locations'.I cannot imagine a bus going on rampage in Ghatkopar. It's a very crowded area and traffic moves at snail's pace there. Even I can walk and enter a bus(not even run). But very well written'.I could imagine the scene where the guy was speaking on radio and Daya was trying to get into the bus and Freddie was driving the Qualis'.Wow. The entire action scene was well done. Everyone has loved your story, and the disadvantage of being the organizer is that I got to see how the others have rated your story before I read it. So I decided to look at it with a really powerful microscope.
When I was half way through the story, I kind of thought that a guy who is so concerned about the environment and who wants to give a message to those who are causing harm has some love and concern in his heart. I felt that this guy wouldn't kill any kids even before I read the story till the end. If Sahil had really killed some of them, I would have rated the story very low. Such people may kill the people responsible for it ' like Naseeruddin Shah in A Wednesday or Daya's school principal in the Mamta Foundation episode, but they'll never harm any innocent person.
People who hijack buses or planes and kill some of the hostages are extremely ruthless people who don't care about anything or anyone.
As I expected he didn't kill any of the kids. But when this could occur to someone like me, why didn't this occur to ACP? ACP could have given this a thought. The real ACP of the golden era could read a criminal's mind well. He could have thought with a cool head and realized that there was no real need to shoot the driver and do all those stunts, because the man is not really bad at heart. He could have just talked to Sahil on the radio and touched upon his softer side'..like he did in 'The case of 6:48' or even 'CID at Ransom'.
I don't mean to take away anything from this story'..just my thoughts'..it was very well written and we could see it happening before our eyes. Everyone has given great marks to this story, so I wanted to really evaluate it as a perfectionist. (as I told the writer, crr1 yun hi nahin milta hai kisi ko' a little secret) Comparision with original ' I don't want to do it. The original had good stunts'.I appreciate duo(Adi sir and Daya sir, not Abhijeet and Daya) for it. But the original story, motive and how Abhijeet appeared out of nowhere into the Qualis just for the sake of the stunt was stupid, thanks for improving that part.
Ganesh Utsav: The start was interesting. I didn't understand as to why would someone steal a licence plate. It is absolutely easy to make a licence plate'anyone can get a rectangular metallic object and paint a number over it. There's no need to steal a number plate. Car ' I can understand. The story was probably better than the original but there were not enough twists and turns. This idea might have occurred to you just a couple of days before the deadline as the episode itself was aired just a week before the story deadline. ACP was missing'..never mind.
CID aur Nanhe Detectives
Wow….It was a real roller coaster ride…. Initially the things were slow…but slowly slowly you caught speed. Actually narrating a scene full of action and no dialogs is very very tough and you did it with complete perfection.👏
So starting from the beginning… what a start….. Continuation of AKA….😃 Nice…. So you are trying to correct the flaws of the other case too….😆 Good...it gave a nice shape to the story. Well I felt one thing while reading your story. You actually built the plot for a college and then turned it in to school because it was nanhe detective, in some places you mentioned college and also a career fair in school…😕 Well.. may be you didn't get time to recheck your story, as you missed removing a dialog where ACP sir says they should check out the college but then later they again say that SBC refers to the school😕. Ho jaatha hai..no probs..😉
I was trying hard to remember if Abhi sir saving Imran was showed in some case previously or was it your creation🤔. Well… I couldn't recollect any such instance so must be your creation only😛. Correct me if I am wrong. Well… from the moment Abhi sir comes to the school….everything starts happening so fast…. It was awesome. I must say you made the villain cain really strong..not like HD… But you hurt Abhi sir and Daya sir 😭
Somethings were actually very easy to visualize in the story… like Daya sir talking to the kids and giving them the mobile which was in the same case.. Abhi sir wearing a mask.. do I have to say…it simply reminds us of Khoon ki holi😛. Bringing black cat commandoes which made the hostage thing little real… The nanhe detectives were actually good detectives…
So overall you kept the main plot and motive the same, but changed things from CID side. Gave a new twist to Abhi sir's part😉… Daya sir no more doing Rajinikanth acts😆… and nanhe detectives were actually detectives. But you also added speed to the case, lots of action… a little emotion 👏…. I am impressed by your knowledge of arms😃 Did I forget what Sachin and Kaajal were doing…or were they not present ???🤔 hehe… anyways…doesn't matter.😛
This case actually turned out to be Abhijeet aur nanhe detective 😛 as most of the time Abhi sir was in action. The original case had a few flaws too…. Which were removed … great job on that…. I somehow had felt that though the plot was good…. When done by FW originally the soul of the case was missing… I mean…everyone was just doing their work like… some kolu ka bail…. 😔The director orderd.. so we are doing….but the way you narrated the case it doesn't look like that… its looks full action packed…👏 so… you have already won over FW👏. This case is much better picturized… scripted and directed than the original case 👏
Bhutiya Ladki Ka raaz
The case chosen was not really a bad plot by FW.. yeah some telepathy and twin sister stuff was present but then it was much better than the plastic surgery idea😆. The direction and distribution was also good… Though not one of the bestest cases it was actually an average case.
Your case started of immediately like our very own FW cases… bureau gets a call 😊 not of a bhoot but a murder…afterall CID members are not ghost busters 😆 I like that…. You skipped the feeling of watching Aahat😆. Abhi sir and daya sir's investigation on running was good….but you know what… I remember them finding out difference between running and walking person in some case before…🤔not by trying it themselves but just by analysis. The concept there was that in the mud the shoes or the chappal were actually much deeper… and they are deeper when someone runs.. and not when he/she walks….I was wondering if the same concept was used here… but may be there wasn't any mud under… may be it was tiles with chappal prints on it…so.. your investigation was fun to read.. actually was imagining how would ACP's reaction have been looking at duo… 😆 Sachin part was a highlight…It was fun to read and imagine… these days I can visualizes his expression very well… thanks to his recent heartbreak …. 😆 it also reminded me of the case where Sachin fell asleep and Daya sir scolded him 😉
Dr salunkhe's gyan session… Lovely…👏 I love it when Dr Salunkhe provides some real time gyan…. Not shooting the electrons ones😕…Gyan is good when it is easy to understand and also enjoyable…..mostly when it is something very basic…which we learn in school… and which we wouldn't have then concentrated much on it……that it could help us in so many ways …😃
From the gyan, they quickly find the projector and then the people printing question papers… then from there to the final criminal..sunil.. well..things went on very fast here… one after other with not much investigation needed.😊
So… comparing to the original case…no telepathy and judwaa factor…😆 a science created ghost…..thats very nice… no murder for money… a little hatke concept of selling papers….good job there… no funny duo dialogs😔 but…. the kids play duo were playing at the college was good 😛 also above that some extra gyan at the end👏. I liked the way you gave a twist at the end about the coaching classes … didn't expect it at all….👏but then sachin getting a doubt that the badge was taken by Sunil actually made me get a doubt that this guy might be involved in this…..😔 I felt the case was a little small … got over quickly…😔 or was it I was very much caught into it…..but things were continuously happening and I must say this case was much much better than the original case…you won over something which had already put behind quiet a few…👏
Maut ka aashirwaad
Well truly speaking I have heard a lot about this case 😛 but had actually missed watching it on the day it was aired… so I watched this like 4-5 months back on youtube to understand why was everyone so disgusted with this case. Well from the plot perspective the case seems to be one of the recent ordinary and a little tough to imagine kind of stuff….but lets think that "ladki ka baadluck sach mein kharaab tha" 😆
So truly speaking you have kept the plot same..atleast from the criminal side… and then kaajal was introduced in the beginning. I like the way you clearly mentioned in the case that it was really getting tough to find out how the murder happened… instead of Dr Salunkhe hiding himself stints in the forensic lab. I am not really an appreciator of Abhi sir and Tji flirting… but it was okie. You also made it believable that kaajal's brother was studying forensic and Kaajal already knows it unlike the original where he is going to give her a surprise …!!!😕 You seem to have corrected and reformed every particular flaw in the case.
Well there was some scope to change the plot too but it was your choice ...all I can say is this is a better or may be corrected or updated version Maut ka Aashirwaad and if the case was shot the way you have scripted I would say we wouldn't have actually had so many disaster cases to choose for this story contest. Good job.👏
Bhagdhar mein maut ka raaz
Another story with gyan…..😃 Well… the original story was about a death with some poison and motive being school mein copy karne ka ilzaam…🤢 I know how lame reason it is to murder someone. So.. you actually picked a nice case and fitted your gyan well into it.👏
Initially the team gets a call about bomb and arrives with bomb squad and stuff…that was a great part…. I loved it 👏…..But by the end of the case when I came to know that the bomb was just a message to CID to search the whole building.. I was a little depressed… 😔you could have anyways said that the team got an anonymous call that there is a dead body there…. Even in this case the team would search the whole building… anyways… I enjoyed reading the bomb part… so..your efforts of writing that part did not go waste as CID and bomb 😊 we love it you see. But you know what now I feel even you were a still on thinking terms as to how to make the bhagdad and relate bomb to it when it was a normal khooni story… yeh confusion mein you missed a small point...you said that CID got the call that there is a bomb in the theatre i.e. the lift operators friend called from outside to CID… phir theatre mein bhagdad kaise mach gaya…😕.tell me if I missed something in between.
The info on lead and paints in the forensic lab and also in the extra gyan section was commendable👏. I know how much effort it takes to pick some gyan...collate and make it into a case… your writing style is a little different from what actually has been the FW style but its ones own choice so I cant actually comment on that or take it in a negative way. Duo putting cell phones out and getting into the room with high lead content and getting trapped… a little tough to the imagine…and ofcourse we have duo together and Daya known for breaking doors didn't break this time was surprising….😕The last part was too very emotional. Thoda sa kam hotha toh better hotha. And yeah….. I liked the liftman's role. 😊
Well … The original case wasn't actually that bad only the motive was a dampener but… yahaan motive was better👏. Your story was good in its own way… and if this was the motive and concept of the original case then I am sure it would have been much much better than what it actually was. Anyways….you did a great job.👏
Khatra chemical bomb ka
So you have picked a case which everyone loved to watch and remade it in your own way… Well you have kept some parts of it same… but you changed the whole reason for this case. First of all I must say you are really good at creating puzzles👏. Loved the poem for Mahalaxmi mandir and also the map for the airport to passport office. I know how tough it is to write something and match it to the plot… ask me.. 😃 Well…if I am not wrong the clues connection was that… the 1st two clues..the map and the anagram were one location….while the poem and photo were the second one.. right. Correct me if I am wrong.
Now coming to the bomb part of the case… Thanks for the Info on White phosphorus… Just read on wiki about it after reading the story… didn't know there was something like that too… which was actually used in so many wars and also could kill people through burning them. Great research 👏You kept the time clicking to keep it happening and build suspense .. good job there 😊Well.. you could have actually skipped that dialog by the criminal to Kaajal…. That actually broke the suspense and made the CID team look a little dumb.😔
Truly speaking making a good case even more good is a little tough as the good scenes get registered in our minds and we love them so much that our mind is not ready to think about any change in it. … But you changed the plot and gave it a new look ….. which is also as energetic and intriguing as the original one…. And ofcourse you gave the last bomb to Abhi sir which we always love to watch.😛 Good Job.👏
Daya Ke Dulhan Ka Raaz
I have already written in the contest thread…. how intriguing the story was …. that I nearly missed my bus stop while reading it. 😆 Great work. You corrected the stupid part of the shaadhi ka plan for month's together ……. Ansha being a part of the villain side from when "God only knows"…….his uncle not recognizing his own niece… and all that asambhav stuff 😆 ( a word provided by CID itself 😉 ). But ….But…. You took the positive parts of Dulhan ka raaz and all the negative points were replaced with scenes inspired from deadly betrayal. In the initial stages I felt only the dialogs were a little inclined towards the deadly betrayal but then when I came to the climax was also inspired from deadly betrayal and we had to visualize Daya sir in pain 😭 Yeah… I know we can't just get Daya sir married… and we didn't want Ansha to be an undercover cop from "god only knows" when… so...this was the only option left so I wouldn't actually consider it as a negative point afterall… we loved deadly betrayal..i mean… we hated sonali for the betrayal but we liked the case.. I mean… we were sad… but still we enjoyed.. I hope you understand what I am trying to tell.. Okie enough of deadly betrayal.😆
Well… As an overall case…. It was a good.. imaginable... and a sensible one. Well.. I got a little confused as to who shot whom and suddenly how did Abhi sir get injured😕 … but then.. I think.. it was the bracket part where you said that they heard a bullet shot..so that might have been the one which hit abhi sir… Another point, you didn't make it clear that who was the person who actually killed ravalish …Ansha, Rizwain or ramesh😕??? And actually the nariyal waala saw only one person with ravalish then how come they became two as per Dr salunkhe 😕?? Do let me know if I missed something…..
When Abhi sir finds that blue heart and comes back to the bureau I was wondering if there is gonna be a painful fight between the duo accusing Ansha, but somehow you actually made Abhi sir support her😊. But a catch here... If you would have made Abhi sir doubt or accuse Ansha (which actually should be done by an officer) then the case wouldn't have progressed as they would just follow Ansha take out her background...come to know about Ishika….. and then "The end"… 😊 So even this cannot be a negative point that is how it had to be. 😆
Overall the case was really enjoyable and a totally sambhav case 😊 This is much much much better than the original one… so you have already put someone behind 👏
Daya Ek Qatil
So… starting with the original FW case…. It was a case totally gone wrong…they wanted to catch some attention of the viewers showing that Daya sir is trapped… but Daya sir is trapped in such a stupid motive… and I still wonder why was he trapped and gun in the cake was really foolish🤢. So… Good choice. 👏 You actually did a good job.. Nice planning… Daya sir actually shot someone and that someone actually died… I mean jayanth or aakash… whatever you call him. No nakli bullets… no drama… nothing…yet daya sir was saved at the end as you proved him to be a criminal. Wonderful.👏
The case actually started of very well… all the time I kept wondering… how will you prove daya sir innocent…😊 The part where ACP sir talks about another case… I wish you had given a little info as to what the case was.. He just keeps saying that they got a lead and then says he found bombs.. a little elaboration on that would actually make it easy to understand.. actually this part I understood after I read the whole case.
Daya sir in Chennai… 😃 The way abhi sir asks daya sir about Chennai I was afraid of another mamata foundation 😆 but then… it was a mission…. Good… Dr salunkhe's part was tough to understand… correct me if I am wrong……. was it that Dr Salunkhe was asked to prove that akaash killed jayanth… by testing the fingerprints on clothes and chain…. ???😕 I was a little confused here….
Well… after sometime…..slowly you started rushing your story and the ending was even more rushy… may be lack of time… Anyways...the overall plot was awesome…better than the original FW case… So you already won over someone ….. Good job.👏
Manav Bomb
Good one…but why do I feel that you were in a hurry to complete the case or may be you didn't get enough time to write the case🤔. A few points here and there where left unexplained like when the bombs were human bombs then how did people around survive to say who was carrying the real bomb in all the three cases. Dr Salunkhe's part was a nice twist😊 but then how come sachin say that there is no record of Dr chathuvedhi while Dr chaturvedi was very much alive😕. The investigation part of Abhay was good.👏
The scene at the college was also a little hurried because as soon as they say that Dr salunkhe's mobile is switched off ACP concludes that Dr Salunkhe is kidnapped. Actually when Sachin says Dr Salunkhe's mobile is switched off I thought Dr salunkhe was actually hiding from CID as they had seen him talking to Dr chaturvedi.
When you brought in the sad side of Dr chaturvedi like his family and stuff I thought may be this guy has gone mad and is taking revenge on people and stuff... well you did put that point and I wish you had stopped it there because he working for someone else actually made his family problem secondary. The blast scene actually reminded me of AC series blast.. 😲you know na …aaj kal CID mein blast bole toh hi dar lagtha hai… but you mentioned clearly how they escaped. and there was no magic or reincarnation … hehe…😆
Well…. Your story has a very strange ending. The villain dies without confessing or even telling the reason as to why all this was done😕…Comparing to the original case you removed the hard to believe parts like operating in a van putting a chip inside and also a bomb… and also removed the yucky scenes but then I wish the motive was a little strong. Great try.👏
Dhoom Bus Hijack
I don't wanna pick mistakes in my story 😛
Ganesh Utsav Special
It was a recent case and I remember not watching it and also remember Shreya 's comment in the WU calling the case as the case of the clichd family 😆
So… the case is based on a drug racket and the criminals using Ganesh idols to transport the drugs… Now the plus point here compared to the original case is that the story 100% sticks to the name of the case and the case looks like a genuine one and not committing a murder because someone sneezed or coughed. 😆
The case is short and clear… In the beginning the license plate being a stolen one… chasis number being scratched off was good… Coming to Dr Salunkhe's point… Well… the forensic scene was good… but bechaari Tji ko hospital bhej diya 😛 didn't wanna add the FW obvious flirting scene 😉No probs… well… I just wanted to know if this toxic chemical paint being wet causing problem…did you pick this from some source?? Or was it just your creation?? People here now a days are doing lots of research at write stories… 😉 so..Thought of asking 😃 !!!
Rocky… Kya naam use kiya hai.. Yeh naam sunthe hi… achaanak se ek poora episode fast forward mein dimaag mein run ho jaatha hai 😆 But thanks… this time no one landed on a hospital bed 😃 Then… suddenly another name Gani Bhai … You wrote Wanted in the brackets.. and I was like..wanted movie or wanted CID special .. hehe ..🤔So finally the team catches ACP Randhir and Gani Bhai.. And you gave a chance to Vivek to slap the criminal ... 😊Everyone taking slapping tuitions from daya sir these days… 😆 I wonder why you made ACP sir Mr. India😔… but thanks for the Mr. India act of you know who.😉
To put it in simple terms… Without going OTT, it is a pure investigation case sans drama or melodrama or any kind of confusion… A clean simple perfect case which FW couldn't write. From your story I can imagine how the case would actually have been.. Abhi sir meeting the khabari…. Daya sir checking the burnt car…(though the standard FW formula of separating duo happens here)……then Duo catching rocky……. going to the sea side warehouse(sea side would give us some nice flying hair caps of duo)…. Catching the real criminal at the end... without any Rajinikanth stunts At any point of time I can say this Ganesh Utsav special would have been 100% enjoyable than the original. 👏
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