Diya Aur Baati Hum


Diya Aur Baati Hum
Diya Aur Baati Hum

What about Ankur's dream?? (Page 12)

nayhaj Senior Member

Joined: 25 December 2007
Posts: 851

Posted: 29 September 2011 at 9:00am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Opti

Ankur is selfish because:

1.He is forcing a marriage on a girl who is not ready for marriage only because it would leave him free to go to the U.S.

2.He has not revealed anything about the groom or his family either to his wife or his sister for fear that they may not agree to the match. This when he himself knows very well that his sister will be a misfit in the house she is going into because the groom's family wanted an uneducated girl who is good at managing a house and the groom himself has limited education.

3.As far as the question of exploring other options is concerned, he should have done so, which he did not because at the back of his mind, he never considered his sister's dreams seriously. Even before his parents' death, he had taken the liberty of finding a groom for her without consulting his parents or his sister.  He seems like a real MCP who thinks women have to just tow the line drawn by the men in their lives, be it brother, father or husband.

4.After the loss of his parents he had taken a vow to fulfill the incomplete responsibilities of his father. Seeing Sandhya as an IPS officer was not only the dream of his sister but also that of his father. So what became of that promise? 

5.He is selfish from the point of view of Suraj's family too because he hid the truth about his sister's educated status from them too. He knew if they are aware of the truth, they may not agree to the wedding and he cannot go abroad as planned.

Even if we presume that the town they live in does not have hostels or paying guest accommodation, he could have taken her to the nearest metro and found such a hostel for her. After all he did have 15 days to do so. Instead of trying to fix up a marriage in that time he should have tried to do this instead.  In case of these efforts fail and he is not able to fix up a safe place for his sister, he should have stayed back.  Being the head of the family he should have fulfilled his responsibility and sometimes responsibilities come with sacrifices.  It cannot be helped.

At the end of the day he failed in his duty as a brother, especially one who had assumed the role of a father in the absence of his own parents.  If today his wife is able to accompany him to the U.S. it is because his sister was willing to let her parents mortgage the house in which she too had a share.

As to realising his own dream, he could have done so at a later date also. It is not that he will never get another opportunity.  He wanted to play God in his sister's life.  I'm sure he will have a miserable life in the U.S. because the recession will break out and the guy may lose his job.

well said...hes very selfish in every aspect. marriage isnt the only option, and the reason he hid her passport was for his own selfish reasons too. as u said before he tried to marry her before too but her parents didnt allow it. the whole point of being the head is putting others priorities first which is wht r parents do for us and now that he was taken their dads place he shouldve thought of that. but no hes just thrown her with the orthodox rathi family with only two sane ppl in the family Suraj and Chaturi, God help his kid and his wife..and ur rite he will lead a miserable life...ppl jus have dreams to move to the usa and uk but its not all bud of roses its a tough life! esp if u dont know anyone there..the only one film that showed that was Love Aaj Kal they showed how unhappy he was without family n friends...i wish theyd be more realistic in dramas too 

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Opti IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 14 October 2006
Posts: 29113

Posted: 29 September 2011 at 9:27pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by tanthya

There is a big problem in that thinking because he disregards her thoughts on the same. 

Yes, He is doing that  bec  as a  elder brother he thinks he knows better ..

That makes him an MCP in my opinion because he thinks women have no freedom to decide their lives. And what sort of an elder brother is he who puts his interest before others?  Loved what Ankita had to say to him in yesterday's episode.

How is he fulfilling that responsibility? By pushing her into a marriage with someone totally unsuitable for her? He is just trying to get rid off his responsibilities at the first available opportunity
for his own selfish purpose.  I don't think this is what Manu meant and if it is then, Manu is no better.

Manu is lot worse , he makes even MCP's like a gallant KnightsSmile ...He did not start out with an intention of pushing her into an unsuitable alliance, he first tried in a family equal to their's but with time constraint and a wily Kisna at his heels.. he cemented this highly unsuitable alliance...He is trying to discharge his responsibilities  to attain his goal... Ankur is selfish , there is no doubts about that ...but at the same time he is also not leaving Sandhya to fend for herself ..He is trying to set her up in some protected environment  after making sure that she will be allowed to further her academic course and can pursue her dream..He is doing what he can in a space of few days..

Even he is not too convinced that Sandhya would be allowed to follow her dreams, especially when he is forced to hide her certificates and trophies and he gets glimpses of what sort of household she is going into.  He has seen enough of her would be mother-in-law to understand that she is one of those traditional women who believes that a married woman's purpose in life is to serve her husband and her in-laws.  When he asked Kisna about whether they will let her study, he was only paying lip service. If he was really concerned that Sandhya's life should not be wasted post marriage, why not ask the groom's side whether they will let her pursue her studies and her dreams? He knows that the answer will not only be a no but the family will take to their heels when they come to know of his sister's accomplishments. He cannot afford that considering he wants to leave for the U.S. 

And what is the protected environment  he is leaving her into?  Is there any way he can monitor how she is treated once he leaves for the U.S.? He has concealed important details of his sister's life to her would be in-laws and husband. While they were expecting a girl with limited education but who is good in managing the house, they are getting an educated girl who has no clue how to run a house but has dreams of how to run a police force, should he not anticipate that a volcano would erupt once they come to know the truth and his sister's life could become more miserable? 

Suraj may be a man with a golden heart but how much of this man does he really know before giving away his sister in marriage to him?  Given that Suraj respects and adores his mother, he could have well taken up her side rather than his wife's.  So with so many 'ifs' and 'buts' in this relationship, can he really justify his act as being one of fulfilling his responsibilities? I don't think so.     

Yes, I think he would have left her ..and there is nothing  scandalous about leaving a wife for a assignment..Lots of Hubby's do that   ..

Of course they do, but they try to ensure that their wives are in a protected environment where in case of emergency they do have someone to help. It is Ankita's first pregnancy and anything can happen.  From what they have shown so far, there does not appear to be any relative who can help. I think Ankita is an orphan  for they do not mention her parents.  I mentioned this point to underline the fact that this man does not care for his wife either.  He is too selfish to care for anyone.

it is here that I do not understand Kothari's thinking ..why mortgage a house for a visa that too when Ankita and Ankur were going for 2 years period and were returning back to India..It would have made sense if they were shifting permanently.. or was it to highlight the conservative mindset of the Kothari's that despite  their education they still believe in the old values ..

Yes, they do appear to be a conservative family as most families from small towns are.  Anyway it is good for Ankur that they did make arrangements for his wife to join him. now he can have his  prized American soil born baby.

It is not easy to get a opportunity  again esp after u  were unable to  exercise the first given oppo...The Karma Theory does not always work ..Ankur has been shown as a Human being , an ordinary mortal ...That is the beauty of the character..He is not shown as a Mahan aathma ..had that been the case, Sandhya's  noble gesture would not have had the same impact ...This is not a parable but a commercial show

I don't think Ankur is shown a human character. To me he is inhuman as he considers no one but himself.  Sacrificing your sister's happiness does not make you human and sacrificing for your sister's happiness  does not necessarily make you mahan aathma.  It is the basic responsibility of any elder sibling who is a decent human being to ensure that his sister's life is not ruined. If tomorrow Sandhya's life turns good it is inpite of her brother and not because of him. Because this man was not willing to make the sacrifice, another man (Suraj) will be doing so. And the beauty of it will be that the man who sacrificed will be happy and the man who did not will be unhappy!

Yes, fulfilling Ankur's dream may get postponed but not necessarily destroyed. If he is really good another opportunity, even a better one can come one's way.
Moreover, his bosses knows the circumstances under which he was losing this opportunity. So I bet if he continues performing as he did they would definitely consider him again the next time. I've seen enough examples of  people who have done justice to their duties  being rewarded amply which has only strengthened my belief on the one above.  Yes, it is a commercial show and there needs to be positive and negative characters. While Ankur is not a negative character, but he is a deep grey in my opinion and no justification can exonerate him. By the way a parable also has good people and bad people to show the contrast between the two. 

Edited by Opti - 29 September 2011 at 9:38pm

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