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Call it an O.S; call it a verse para, if u will..
these are just a few thoughts..all mixed up...
Was watching a few previous arhi scenes..
Here goes nothing😃
I don't like this man. He gives me a weird feeling..I don't remember anything of the time we first met, but utter humiliation. I had fallen into his arms. All I could think was nothing. All I could feel was scared- there was my heart, beating a tattoo; trembling and all I could see was a pair of sad, angry eyes in an angry, grim face. That face didn't promise me any good tidings. He left me as abruptly as he had caught me and the rest is history.
Lying awake that night in bed, I thought if things had changed...Was there something more to him...underneath the veneer..the polish of money?
Was there more of the brother I had seen that day? Was there more to the shocking concerned question of his today? Nah- he hates me. But his hands were infinitely gentle today. He insulted me at every opportunity and yet...yet I couldn't help but think of him. Do we think of the one we hate, devi maiyya?
Do we think of the one who makes our life hell?
Why does he affect me at all?
Why does he meet me all the time...is it plain bad luck?
Sighing..I thought back to my missing payal..where was it?
I looked at the healing wound of my wrist..touching it gently...that night still shook me. His eyes, spitting fire..the man scared me to the utmost limit...and yet, he annoyed me even more. So i could speak. HE brought out the angry side of me..
He had broken my fast; the dupatta had fallen on me- that was too scary for me to think about. I'd rather not.. Sighing, I prayed to Devi maiyya that things get better with my family...That was more important than a million Arnav Singh Raizada's...
I closed my eyes and went to sleep...
Sleep was a long time away...my mind, my heart- they refused to settle down. My eyes would open of their own accord and stare at the sealing. So I got up and sat by the pool-side..looking at the ripples the water made there...seeing not the water, but a face. An innocent face with big brown eyes; usually wide, tear-stained, filled with anger and fear...except...today...when she could hear my heart-beat..was it as fast as her own?
Did I imagine her reluctance?
Why did I care at all?
After everything I had told myself- how could I make myself feel for anyone.
NO- Lavanya was the right choice. The sensible choice. Khushi- she aroused strong emotions. She needed to be kept away. She made me angry, she made me shout. The coolness of ASR melted before Arnav's passion. I couldn't let this happen.
IT will pain me..I'll definitely pay for it. I have to continue the struggle. I can't just..let go...emotions make us weak. Reason should guide us. Always. Di is the only one I trust. No one else matters. Those who did..left me...all alone..but di was there..always..Khushi- she'd leave me too. And I don't NEED anyone who would leave me.
No. Never. I don't believe in all this. She can't have affected me that much. Where was the ASR I knew?A weakling, I would NOT be.
But, she made you feel- reasoned my heart with me
HA- Reason and my heart. Impossible.
She was everywhere where I didn't want her to be..
or..did i let her in?
Of course I did- it was my fault- to have let her get to me. She didn't matter. And the fact that I can rationally discourse about it proves my rationality!
YES! Finally- a solution. Stay away; maintain distance. Don't get tangled..coz she'd leave me entangled again in a web of pain..and I needed to defend myself against that. What did my heart know? except pain- nothing.
So I should never ever listen to it.
With such a scrambled thought process- he fell into a tired sleep..
As they both slept- neither knew or cared about the stars, the night that looked on...saw into their deepest thoughts...saw deeper than thoughts- in cahoots with nature, of course, they knew what these two didn't. They knew the pain, the passion, the love, the misunderstandings..they knew how boundaries of love and hate would be crossed..they knew how a relationship had been forged when they were busy reasoning with themselves at the futility of that relationship.
The entanglements Arnav wanted to extricate himself from..he had no idea how deep those went..deeper than he knew for sure...a connection that was deeper than that. And not restricted to a category. Neither did Khushi or Arnav fall into any category- not really- then how could their relationship be different.
Both didn't seem to be of this world..simply entangled in it...Innocent of heart and yet filled with playful wisdom with a man, who was as much a kid at heart as a stone cold man from the outside.
A shrewd businessman and a girl who loved sweets. A silent man with one as bubbly as a stream.
Were they as opposite from each other as they seemed? OR was it just how the world made them see each other?
With that, the stars all winked at each other
sang a little lullaby to the couple sleeping apart
waiting to be witness to happy moments and sad
with wisdom of centuries, they waited in the night sky together...
Okay..I know it might be crazy and all..but I wanted to write this..haha
comments welcome :D
love to all!
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