I think what sums up the scene for today, is the old adage:
Sticks and stones will break our bones; but words will break our hearts!
Here goes the HD clip for today - and then the written post and analysis after.
So technically, this is the first 'candid' confrontation between GK - with therefore, a to and fro volley of some very candid questions - and no answers really, but rhetoric replies.
Tujhe aise dekhkar achaa laga Kesar - Gulaal does try to start it on the right note, but the BG tone sets the mood for what is coming; plus, if there was ever any scope to reconcile (if I say) then the fact that she has walked in early morning into his room to bring him *what else* the infamous 'doodh' would have started the epic war anyway Miraculously, today the battle content rises beyond 'doodh vs chai'
In Kesar's defense - he was already readying himself to go out, so Gulaal just accidentally gave him another reason to pose rebellion. Given his solemn stance even the seconds prior to Gullu walking in, I'm inclined to think he is in the middle of making mental plans for the day which deal with seeking out more evidence about the murder front. Anyway - if she can be typical with doodh, Kesar too doesn't quit making a habit of glare hexes.
Nahate waqt apni patti bheegne to ni di na? - Being Galool, she tries again, oh so in vain! Kesar fails at pulling off an X-Men stunt in throwing her out of the room by the sheer force of his glare; and wisely goes back to his other never failing trick, the cold silent treatment. Gulaal 1; Kesar 0 - encouraged by her score, she still goes on *face palm* - Wo main ye kehne aayi thi ke tu aaj kahin mat jana... bas ghar baith kar aarama karna - *more face palm, added head desk* - Gullu's Galool rule to counter 'ignore' treatment: patronize the enemy If I was Kesar, and my wardrobe rules effectively summed up to 'second shirt = going out' - I might have just pulled on that second shirt a tad faster than needed, to make sure Gullu takes notice. Because remember, I'm not talking to her. Yet.
Ye tu kya karaha hai Kesar? (see! it works!) Kahin jaa raha hai? - Kesar scores! And pumped up, he passes buttoning up to merely take pointed strides across the room - pretending she is transparent, and he is deaf - and begins to fix his hair. But josh ki overdose results in scraping the injury, and inevitable expression of being stung - however momentary.
I love the next few seconds, as Gulaal rushes to him, and he slaps off her hand, literally. Ouch She's testing him with her patience, and he's testing her back for her tolerance. Let's not even ignore the dialog preceding this - meri baat maan aur thoda aaram karle - if there was ever a chance of him resting, there it goes down the drain. How in character for Gulaal to cajole him with that preamble of 'meri baat maan' - and yet, one wants to shake her up and ask her, was she sleep walking the last two days? Didn't she see this new avatar?
But that question is coming right up too. In reaction to Kesar's 'physical' shunning of her concern.
Ye tujhe kya hogaya hai Kesar? Kabhi Kabhi lagta hai ke tu mera Kesar hai hi ni... wo Kesar jise main jaanti thi. Tu itna kaise badal sakta hai? - excellent dialogue writing - how brief, and how precise! The moment she says 'mera Kesar' you can assume this time she will get a reply. Interestingly, she actually amends her statement of doubting he is 'her Kesar' the following nano second, by saying (she implies) the Kesar she knows, or knew. And then, THE question that has been lurking just beneath the surface of her 'give him time' tolerance - how can you change so much! In that one question, you know exactly why Gulaal, despite these blunt signs of Kesar's changed attitude, cannot but act repeatedly in hope of digging out her Kesar from beneath it all! She's spent the last two days, knowing, but shunning the change, in the name of a temporary tantrum of sort - because she cannot imagine the 'change' is a change for real. Its just a fleeting grudge and she's striving to win it over - but in this momentary instance of being physically resisted, the question that has been dying to surface, pops up!
And yes - mera Kesar gets Kesar talking at last. She's hit a nerve there, intentional, or not - and it stings me more than the scraping of his injury seconds ago, so he answers back in more riddles. I like, again, the mix of tone in Kesar's reply. He's giving her some twisted and cold answers - but answers, wherein lie the question he wants to ask her. THE question. So he admits he has changed, to put forth the argument that she too may have changed under circumstances. Maybe she too, isn't the Gulaal he knew... His tone isn't frigid here, its not sarcastic, its a mix of confronting and seeking. He might be officially answering her question about his change - but really, he's only asking her to give him answers - to clear away his doubts. The last statement is almost like an unassuming bait for her - he tells her she may not be the same Gulaal, like he hopes for her to jump at that and refute it. Tell him she is the same. Make him believe she is the same - he's really testing the waters, and the sarcasm is missing, because however indirect his speech is, it hides underneath it, the tormenting question of a decade. And when she expresses her anguish at this change in him, her Kesar, he cannot but turn the question back at her, even if in rhetoric!
Alas - if he was hoping for answers, or at least assurance, Gulaal does not get the hint. Mujhe teri baatein samjh mein nahi aari hain... - and it blows off his lid! The Kesar paradox at play again! On the one side, he's seeking proof from her, of her not having changed. Assurance of being his Gulaal! On the other hand, he is expecting her, by default, to be his Gulaal, and understanding the very convoluted hidden agenda of his remarks. It makes him mad that she is confused, that she cannot understand - how can his Gulaal not understand his dilemma and anguish? - and yet, how does he expect her to, when he's supposedly living with the assumption that this is not his Gulaal? He's basically treating her like 'his' Gulaal - and then demanding evidence of her being the same!
And when she 'fails' at it - he lashes back further! Agar main tera Kesar hi nahi hu, agar tujhe meri baatein hi samjh nahi aati, to mujhe pareshaan kyun kar rahi hai? Akela kyun nahi chod deti! - Someone show this guy the mirror that he is standing before please! [which interestingly is a well thought of prop, for a scene where both these leads are beginning to question if either or both of them are the people they once used to be. Almost like looking at the mirror at 30, to try and find out what being at 20 was like, and how much has changed!] Anyway, show Kesar the mirror, because the words he now speaks in anger, are exactly what Gulaal could ask him, if she knew better. If she isn't his Gulaal, why does he expect her to understand his turmoil - that in an unspoken manner! How does he expect her to read his mind - when she hasn't known one first thing about him in a decade - when he, who has heard update from her, is in such dilemma over the true identity of his Gulaal. The 'akela kyun nahi chod deti' is more figurative than literal. In that second, he's venting out on why he can't rid of this dual existence of her person inside his head - where for good or bad, he can't stop thinking about her. For a decade plus, she has invaded his system - and it has bothered him to no end - her persistent presence in his system is the root of his dilemma. He hates her, but he hates her not! It reminds me of the later to come classic pareshani scene - where he tells her how he can't get her out of his mind!
And as of on cue, comes the first mention of the 'classic' pareshani.
Agar tujhe mujhse pareshani hai, to main tere paas nahi aungi. Par meri wajah se apne aap ko taqleef kyu dera hai tu?! - Ouch! And she hits another nerve! If Kesar was truly so over his craze for Gulaal, he could have shot back at her - why she assumed he was hurting himself on her account! How she deemed to give herself so much importance on his behalf! But no, it rattles him, flusters him - when he physically hurts her this time with his harsh grip, it's like he's making a desperate attempt to prove to her, that he's hurting her, and not himself! He comes up with ridiculous fibbing about boys and chottein and whatnot - like he's arguing his case and daring her to say it again, that he's hurt himself because of her! Gulaal doesn't realize so fast - but she has hit such a delicate nerve! Oh not to forget the difference of his reaction at her words - 'main tujhse dur rahungi' - its partially a version of the childhood threat that always worked in his case 'main chali jaungi' and partially a precedent of the much elaborate version that comes when she accepts defeat over Talli-Kesar wedding fiasco and tells him she will not show him her face! He's mad at her, because she has spoken so much of truth - and he physically tries to undo any such conception she may hold by manhandling her.
Temporarily, it even works. Gulaal declares (although this too is some version of a bait than conclusion), he cannot be the same Kesar. Because that Kesar would have come back home to her first - aah, secret desires! - would have sorted the mess candidly, and not allowed it to fester! Certainly not made a point of his grudge at every instance he could chase - and the secret lament right there! - she comes up with the eternal boarding school excuse, oh lord, get over it already Galool... she tells him he has kept distance for ten years, and she has held herself back - its like she's accusing him to wish for distance and a rift, of course hearing it from her so plainly breaks him as much as it does her to say it!
... and to all of it, Kesar finally begins to hurt enough for the tears to begin brimming. How long can one hold onto a facade so unreal anyway! He's struggled for a decade, and continues to, to hate her - but can he? Well only if there was a way to pull out his heart and put it aside in a hibernator, maybe! Yet another time, as the vulnerability threatens to give him away, in reaction to her own - he escapes the scene.
Leaving a very inconsolable Gulaal behind. And then, to me, is the saddest moment of the scene. Even if I must bear Talli for it. The way she brushes away the tears and appears to be normal when Talli walks in calling for Kesar - this is the Gulaal she never was, and this is the Gulaal she has now lived being for a decade. This is the facade she is living with - a facade that suffocates her day after day, a facade of pretending she is alright. Even before a 'confidante' like Talli - she cannot pour her grief. She doesn't lie, when Talli catches her tears, but her answer is more dismissing, then trying to share her grief. This Gulaal has alienated herself from everyone she has ever held dear in her life - and the alienation, in a strange way, has been a consequence of being alienated by the one person who matters - Kesar.
Maine apne aap ko baandh kar rakha - the words say so much about the transformation in Gulaal over a decade. The subdued wishes, to the extent that they are buried out of her own reach now.
Another day, another scene - of how lonely these two are in their own rights, and how self imposed this misery is...
And that's that. Now drill for the weekend ahead - refrain from Kesar's unspoken ways, and please share your thoughts - verbally Nur and i are incapable of cyber-reading minds
Edited by JZephyr - 16 September 2011 at 2:53pm