Posted: 01 October 2011 at 2:35am | IP Logged
Okay, here it is. But take in count that I wrote it from Der's POV due to all the Der haters still around.
I got a bit mad yesterday. After watching that scene over and over again, I felt so sorry for Der. He doesn't just say it, he means it when he says he is trying so damn hard. Hell he is even choking in that moment.
But still ppl are out there hating on Der. Saying he was still so full of hate and they wld have expected more tenderness from his side.
I seriously don't get, why ppl don't see that Mer messed up too and she messed up big. And I'm not talking about the trial thing, it's what she did after that. Ppl just don't see it, that Der isn't mad about Mer doing what she did. He said it yesterday more than clear, that he understands what she did and why she did it. HE FREAKING UNDERSTANDS. And he loves her for that. Not for being an idiot but for being so selfless. Putting other lifes before herself. That is a freaking amazing character of hers. AND HE FREAKING LOVES that. But what he doesn't love about this, is that she doesn't think about the consequences. That she doesn't think about what effects her behavior might have for other ppl. Hell, Der said it: she didn't suffer for one minute. She might have lost her job but she went through tougher times, so she wld find something else. Oh, and she lost Zola. That's the reason why Der yelled "So did I" Her acting has consequences for other ppl, not just for her. But so far, she didn't care about that. All the time she rolls her eyes, when someone is talking about the trial. Cuz she only sees her point that it was the right thing to do for Adele, that it was a brave thing to do for Adele. But she still doesn't see what her acting means to other ppl.
That is all Der is asking for, her thinking about what she did. Thinking about the consequences and taking them in count. Thinking about that her selfless behavior might have effects to other ppl. So far, when Mer thinks she is right, she just does what she thinks is right. The same thing happened in the OR. She thought she was right and she refused to listen to Der.
That's the reason why he can't trust her, as long as she doesn't listen to other ppls opinion, take their opinions in count, he won't be able to trust her. He doesn't want her to do everything HE thinks is right. That's so not what he wants. He just wants her to listen to others, to think about the consequences and then make a decision.