Love , Ego and Us
"When I was young my father said "Son I have something to say"
And what he told me I'll never forget until my dyin' day.
He said "Son you are a bachelor boy
and that's the way to stay.
Son, you be a bachelor boy until your dyin' day
When I was sixteen I fell in love with a girl as sweet as could be.
But I remember'd just in time, what my daddy said to me.
He said "Son you are a bachelor boy and that's the way to stay.
Son, you be a bachelor boy until your dyin' day
As time goes by I probably will meet a girl and fall in love
Then I'll get married have a wife and a child
and they'll be my turtle doves.
But until then I'll be a bachelor boy and that's the way I'll stay,
Happy to be a bachelor boy, until my dyin' day.
But until then I'll be a bachelor boy and that's the way I'll stay,
Happy to be a bachelor boy, until my dyin' day. "
-bachelor boy by Cliff Richards
Arjun finished his assignment , listening to this song, He just liked it for some reason, may be because in the song despite the father's advice the boy will fall in love with a girl of his choice or whatever the reason was , he liked it. As he listened to his favourite lines one more time 'with a girl as sweet as can be' he imagined Arohi to be smiling as sweetly as possible. He put his pen down and leaned back on the pillow , sighing a sigh of love. Hmmm college beauty and him, does she even know he loves her, may be, she too gives those flirtuous looks. She gets his lines aimed at her, he constantly glances at her in the class and whenever he looks at her she is turning her head, which means she too was looking at him when he doesn't see her side. His smile widened thinking about Arohi. There was no doubt he was in love with her, first time first meeting it had clicked for him. So had it for many other boys who had seen her for first time, that was what was making the queen fly high. Always acting as if she doesnot understand what the boys meant to say. Arjun thought how she had ignored him in the lab and library that day. He very well knew she too was attracted to him but neither were coming out to say it in the open. He had to do something about it. He had seen her in saree first time that day and had looked like a drooling idiot, only to compose just in time before she looked at him. Valentine day was fast approaching and now he felt the sudden urge to express his feelings to her and now this song helped too. Paper and pen were also in a hand's distance. Oh this is all a sign, write write write , said his inner voices.
They were both 21 going on 22, both in same class in their first year post graduation and in few more months will move on to second year. Arohi was bold , beautiful, intelligent and talkative girl. Her hair was her asset, it was thick, medium long, cut in an u shape at the back and whether it was a pony she tied or left loose, no one could stop from looking twice at her crowning glory. Her eyes were not so big but were attractive, her lips small but curved perfectly, nose was big compared to her eyes and lips, but the small sparkling diamond sitting on the right side, made people loose focus abt the size of her nose. She had never shaped her bow shaped eyebrows, they were natural. She had particular views about politics, life style, studies, career, music. She would make an interesting company to anyone.
Arjun was somewhat similar, handsome, liked to look good, more interested in politics, he had a determination to do something for the town he grew up in, make more improvements. He was quite smart, had an eye for beautiful things, that is how he was drawn to Arohi's charms, the almost similar outlook towards life.
Both were charmers when it came to conversations, in most of the class get-togethers they were the organizers, interacted with each other almost daily, had the same group of friends with whom they hung out often. They had fights too, mostly which were teasing each other 'let us see let us see' type of fights, they were not too close nor were enemies, there was a chemistry and attraction between them without the two putting any effort.
Both had something else in common - Ego.
Now after nearly 10 months of acquaintance he was ready to express his feelings. He struggled at first, what is he going to say , all that I said during our fights was just a farce to cover up my attraction towards you? She will just reply 'but I fought for real' and will giggle. He smiled imaging her do that. After an hour long of scribble, strike, scribble session and ignoring the annoying sighs of his roommates for keeping on the light so long , he was finally ready with the draft, he included a small poem in the end
dekha jabse tujhko, khoya khoya rehta hoon,
dil se haara main toh suna suna rehta hoon
din ho yah raat ho, sapne dekha karta hoon
sath agar tum doge , aasman chu bhi sakta hoon
feeling proud of what he wrote. He made a heart symbol under the poem and put an arrow in the middle, Wrote I Love You on it, his calligraphy practice paid up big time, the letter was attractive.
He kept it in an envelope and drew some hearts on it too, and wrote from my heart to yours, when will I hear those words from you. He hands did shake when he wrote this. Ofcourse they did, it was the first time ever he wrote something like that, and that too on his own.
Next morning as they both sat in class, trying to focus on the lecture, while the lecturer himself was looking as bored as they were, afterall the professor has been teaching the same stuff for years he was bound to be bored sometimes he would even just stare outside the windows and still be giving the same lecture, so he did not even notice that the students were upto their own tasks. Arjun was stealing glances at Arohi now, and this time when she looked back he did not turn his gaze, she had to. She looked at him again to find him still staring at her, she questioned with her eyes what it was, he asked back what , she used her fingers and mouthed 'why are you staring' he nodded his head across 'I am not' and pointed far outside the window, at a group of girls she frowned at him, and without making a sound but looking like she said 'hmph' she turned towards the board. He smiled, , just a harmless tease he thought. It was harmless only if she did not have that huge size ego as his.
She was mad now, first he always finds ways to tease her, and now inspite of staring at her he pretends not to be interested. She cannot always understand him and act all nice. If he did not want to be with her why does he hang out with them and then say he was bored or could have been somewhere else. Last time they had an argument on why a woman should cook always and she said she refuses to do that if she gets married and he had said 'let us see' with a hint of love but teasing voice, and immediately he acted like he had not uttered a word. She realized she had already reached the turning of her house in his thoughts. For some reason she was angry at him, because she knew she likes him but was not ready to accept some of his habits, for example that occasional smoking, hmm why does he even do that, he knows it irritates her but still does it. Not that he doesn't care, he had stopped doing it when they were all together , why cant he leave it forever. Today when she was about to say something to him, he left early from the class, ignoring the fact that she was approaching him.
She was about to take the turn into the street, when she saw his bike stop next to her. 'Arjun , here?' 'why am I banned from coming here' already irritated 'yes you are banned from coming anywhere close to my house, go where you can find more group of girls' 'ok, sorry about that, but its not my fault if I stare out the window to see the sky and some beautiful girl ... err ... I mean girls obstruct my view' 'are you here to fight?' 'do you want me to do anything else?' 'why did you leave early from the class?' 'had to get ready for something' 'meeting a girl probably' 'probabaly' she was angry again and jealous too 'fine, then go meet who stopped you' 'you' 'excuse me' 'you stopped me, long back, stopped me from looking at anyone else' as his look and voice changed, she looked away and then back at him expecting for him to say something more. 'after thinking a lot , I finally decided to do this' 'what' he held out the envelope a plain white one , she took it with fast beating heart, as soon as she took, 'I expect an answer tomorrow' he said with that voice he always had when he spoke with her, as if he owned her.
With fast beating heart she went inside, she could not immediately spend some time alone. After dinner when everyone went to sleep , she slowly opened the envelope. Inside it there was another envelope, looks like he put it in the plain one so it wont attract any curious looks. On this one he had hearts, when will you say those words, she smiled slightly, ab aaya na raaste par , she hushed her mind to behave and then took out the letter. She was spell bound at the calligraphic writing, they always made him write any special notes because of this. He had started off with a greeting then continued 'I meet you everyday, I like to tease you everyday, still we both know it is not what it looks like, we fight because we like to talk to each other always. I have liked you from day one, and I know you like me too. It is high time we give in to our feelings and take the next step. I want you to be my friend, girl friend, I am sure we will be compatible with each other, I want to spend my life with you. Let us talk about that later' later? Was that an option? 'you know about me already, I know you don't like some of my habits, which I am willing to change with your help, I do need a distraction you know if I have to get rid of one habit I need to get into the habit of another, you do know what I mean right?' she blushed ' Arohi, this name itself was enough for me to fall in love without even seeing the person. You do like my name right? Not that I will change it, but I want you to like me the same way I like you, and yeah one more thing, you will be the one who does the cooking ' and then there was this small poem, she found it very silly but very cute, she laughed loud reading it. and then there was the heart with I love You in it. She read the letter over and over and over again. Every time she found it more cute. If he wanted to give this letter to her, why was he looking at those girls outside. May be he lied, he was looking at her. he avoided her in the class but expects her answer tomorrow, She too has to think after all he had done lot of thinking and he has to do more thinking probably since he said he will talk about spending life together later. Thinking this she again read the letter several times. She wanted to say yes . she also wanted to tease him more, how can he be so sure she likes him, she may not like him, or she may not like to be his new habit, she may not like to do all that cooking. She is not so easy to get. He has to behave properly first with her.
Next day she went to college and behaved nothing had happened, that was one of her big drawback, sometimes it was okay sometimes it annoyed the opposite person. Arjun waited for some signal from her. At lunch hour when everyone was about to take a break of half hour he caught up with her. 'so?' 'what?' 'what did you think?' 'about what?' 'about the letter I gave you' 'which letter?' 'arohi' 'oh that one, I have to read it yet' she said trying to walk away 'you are saying you did not read it yet' 'no' 'and I should believe you' 'you can or cannot' 'okay I will take it that you read, so what is your answer' 'okay assume that I read it, my answer is I need to think' 'what? Why?' 'what do you mean why? You did a lot of thinking did not you' 'omg arohi , just say yes' 'what makes you so sure that I will say yes arjun? You don't agree that you stare at me in the class, but you want me to jump in and say yes for whatever you want me to' 'fine, if you want to fight forever so be it, I was asking nicely' 'I too replied nicely I need to think' 'foolish' he muttered under his breath, 'what did you say' 'nothing' 'I too got nothing to say' 'fine' 'fine' , he walked away. She felt like calling him back, but how can she, she had just told him a lie and then expected him to plead somemore, but he walked away. She will have to wait for him to ask again.
Arjun was getting madder and madder as he walked. Big Ego Maniac. He too has his ego and she had hurt it today. He had made a fool of himself. She did not respect the fact that he had expressed first instead she had started to fight the same old way. He deserves some respect, if this has to go any further now , she has to talk to him first and confess to him by herself now.
Few days passed with arohi regretting what she did but still not ready to apologize, arjun not ready to even look at her. Soon it became an ego issue as to who should talk first. A pain started to develop within them. It was self inflicted, more by arohi, but she was not ready to admit it. Valentines day was just another day for them, both staying away from college that day. They both started to avoid each other. Still would wait to get a glimpse of each other. Earlier they enjoyed hanging out with friends and get into silly fights and arguments. Now they did not want to talk even about important things.
Part 2 next post.
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