How could gauri have protected herself in 5 years

 

A vast majority of girls go to hostels and also live by themselves while working in different cities before getting married.  It is very natural that they meet boys/men in college or at their work-place and either for reasons of genuine love ... or a need for companionship which they mistake for love, these girls/women may fall in love with a married man who does not reveal their marital status... it need not necessarily be a child marriage that the man has -- it could be an adult marriage too. 

 

At the last minute, when the girl feels the need to get married ... all this will come out about the existing wife and not before.

 

So, my question is what could Gauri have done differently in the last 5 years to protect herself BEFORE giving her heart to Jagat?

 

Could she have done anything differently ? Could she have asked questions differently?  Maybe she didnt ask the right questions? 

 

What should girls do before giving their hearts away ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tanvismile,

 

I am not a gauri or a jagya supporter. That being said I do not think they did anything wrong in falling in love.  I agree that if at all there are any ethics involved in the situation - all these ethical issues should be solely levelled against Jagya solely.

 

Jagya was in the marital commitment to anandi (which involves fidelity)... and the marital commitment not to hurt anandi.  He may not have understood what these commitments meant at the age of 8 when he made them. He certainly understood what they meant when he was in the age of 18-23 and he then had an obligation to break it off with anandi instead of keeping her in the dark. This is where I fault jagya.

 

Furthermore, to this day, I never saw Jagya even have a long-term game plan as to how his situation would evolve into a marital commitment to Gauri. If he truly loved her - he would have been thinking as to how to deal with the situation of anandi - if not for anandi's best interests - then at least for Gauri's best interests, if he truly claims to love her.  Instead, he just sat quietly enjoying Gauri's presence in his bed at Kundatai's knowing fully well that this was going to reach a dead end- whether they actually had a physical relationship is not the question. 

 

So the crux is - fine, he fell out of love with a and into love with G -- but did nothing to secure the future of either lady.

 

I absolve Gauri in this mess. Gauri made no such commitment to anandi. She is not part of that commitment to not hurt anandi and has no reason to think of Anandi at all...beyond simple grounds of human consideration.

 

However, my question is not triggered off from a pointing fingers perspective at Gauri.

If she were okay with the situation as it stands today, I would certainly have no problems with her.

 

But she herself is hysterical and cursing herself for falling in love with Jagya and having married him. This is why it triggered off my question - not to point fingers at Gauri for destroying anandi's life -- but to question what Gauri could have done to not have destroyed HER OWN LIFE.

 

 

If she was really too much in love with Jagya she could have agreed to be with him but only after he gave proper divorce to Anandi...finished his chapter with Anandi...convinced his parents for second marriage and then get married.

I am not against 2nd marriage...but cheating ur spouse and throwing her away like tissue paper just coz u have found someone better is bad.

Another mistake she did is she blindly trusted Jagya...any girl can know when a guy is lying...his secrecy about his family and unconvincing answers should have given her some hint even her bade papa could make out in one meeting tht there was someting wrong with Jagya.Why did she behave so dumb tht time ?

trust is fine but blind trust is stupidity.

 

 He may not have understood what these commitments meant at the age of 8 when he made them. He certainly understood what they meant when he was in the age of 18-23 and he then had an obligation to break it off with anandi instead of keeping her in the dark. This is where I fault jagya.

tinoo,

Jagya was 20 when he entered MBBs college...He was 2 years older than Anandi...So he did his grad from 20 to 25...i always consider girls more commitment oriented than guys...Gauri had the intention to marry Jagat from the time she fell in love...The only thing that irked me is,

They never discussed life after marriage. About how to break the news to the parents...They decided to live together posing married, it may not be a big deal for jagat but unfortunately in Indian society it is still abig deal for the girl...

How she did never ask to see the photos of Jagat's family???she was very keen to be associated with the family then she would have atleast wanted to see the photo...

Are jetsar and jaipur std code one and the same???

Its just the fact that when 2 people spend time together u tend to talk a lot and get to know many things abt each other... May be Jagya was a serial liar...he lied and manipulated and told a pack of lies so well that Gauri never doubted him...And this situation is completely possible: because we see men having parallel family for 20 years with the first family not even having an inkling...So to be cheated for 5 years is possible...

The question was always what she could have done after knowing the truth...She could have walked away...it would have been immensely  painful but she would not have been in this legal mess...by BV explainations she is just 22 or 23 years old...She should be studying, thinking about her career ahead, what amess to be in that age...

I know Gauri will one day realise her fault and move out of Jagat, but she will be blaming herself for her whole life for spoiling her own life.

 

Another odd thing is that parents will make at least two or three trips to the college every year. My aunt used go to her daughter's college whenever she had an exam. But J's parents never come to the college. Maybe he told them not to come but that in itself is very suspicious. 

If G had any brains she would have suspected long back. Either she was very naive or very stupid.