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FF- Katra Katra- Part 25-141, Pt 26-145, Pt 27-148 (Page 15)

KrazEee Senior Member
KrazEee
KrazEee

Joined: 04 July 2005
Posts: 727

Posted: 28 May 2011 at 9:09am | IP Logged
Saaz soo happy to see you writting again...and even more happy to see its a FF this time!

Excellent start...Already soo much happened by end of part 1...Suraj-Shaan bond was cute but shortlived...Sad...But, Atleast Shaan and Khanak are together now LOL mean, but thats all that matters LOL

This Shaan seems different...liking it! liked the small Khanak-Shaan convo's...Combination of mixed emotions portrayed beautifully!

Hostel life should be fun...hatke from family atmosphere...No kitchen for Khanak to spend all her day in...looking fwd to this sort of lifestyle...In only 3 parts soo much happened soo many questions...Getting interesting...

Once again love your style of writting Smile

Update Soon

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saaazRB81

christmas Senior Member
christmas
christmas

Joined: 06 July 2005
Posts: 924

Posted: 28 May 2011 at 8:37pm | IP Logged
there is such an ease in your writing. its such a pleasure to read. i remember reading one of your stories based on sunil and madhvi a while back. and catching myself thinking never would i've thought that i would actually enjoy let alone read a fiction based on those two.
 
glad to see somethign new from you. quite intriguining so far. at first sight. it seemed tho. it was the silsila route (except shaan didnt have a lover already) by the whole marrying your best friends gf and she seeming pregnant? or is that me reading too much into her throwing up?
 
but at the same instance. it doesnt seem completely that way...
 
please update soon! looking forward to the unfolding of the story...

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saaaz

destinylove IF-Rockerz
destinylove
destinylove

Joined: 09 August 2010
Posts: 7616

Posted: 28 May 2011 at 8:46pm | IP Logged
saaz
 
please one humbel request  
 
 
 Please dont make shaan marry khaank to save her honour since she was already pregnant  etc.,  
 
That does not go well with the khanaks character anywhere even in FFS 
 
 ..she is shown as a traditional family girl..every where keeping up the middle class values
 
please yaar dont make it ekta typr or art film typeCry
 
 I haet such sacrificial bondings
 
  It is very much o,.k for me if it is to honour friendship and friends request of having to marry his fiancee
 
since she would face a tough future being branded abshagun  
 
 but definitley not this idea of already  pregnant khanak
 


Edited by sshriyaa84 - 28 May 2011 at 8:47pm

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hotchpotchRBO

saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 28 May 2011 at 9:23pm | IP Logged

THANKS TO EVERYONE ESPECIALLY

@Lana..My gosh..tere comments and analysis are out of this world man..really, for me sometimes they are better than my story..so far they are both not fully themselves..if how I would like to  look at it..yes, the minute he reveals it is his desk..she knows..


@Rooji..Namr is 'soft' .. often used synonymously with soft spoken, kind hearted..


@ Purvi..thanks for liking Shreela'


@ Deepa..I am going to catch up on the book for sure..thanks re


@ Dish..slow and steady..well hope the next update throws some light on your queschen..


@Naveen: thanks re


@ Vat..thanks re..loved your observation..frankly on the GFs in his life..did not think of it till you put it in my head..


@ DJ: Yes..I wanted to stylize it like a calm after the storm..


@ Vandoo maaro Bandhoo'.hu tanne prem karoo chooo


@ Ad..thanks di..hope you like every next part as much as part 2'and YEP'this is a story of a strong intelligent chick and a careless sex guy'


@ Jyothi'my dear you keep calling me Simi..I am taking it as a compliment..wonder how Simi will take it


@ Neha'I shall be trying my best..hum karna chahte hai'hum karenge..hum nayee duniya banayenge'hehehe'I am glad you like Khanak'Shaan is usually always likable, it is tougher to write a woman'..


@ Sneha..Oye..yeh le..next update.

.

@ Candy ..thanks for your comments and questions..1. Shaan has never met Khanak becos Khanak has never come to Bombay to meet Suraj at the institute..and even if she did come to Bombay Suraj and Shaan share a very non interfering friendship..these are the kind of guys who are not 'family' friends but very close yaars..now had Khanak wanted to meet Shaan, Suraj  would have introduced him..but that did not happen..Shaan has at the most seen a picture of Khanak and has never paid attention..Khanak only came into conversations when Shaan used to tease Suraj about his 10pm calls. 2. Shaan is not shocked, it is just he pays attention because there is some reference to Suraj made by her..Hope this helps..


@ Deepali..thanks re


@Priya cool..The counseling was becos there has been trauma, the dean has bent the rules to accommodate them..he wants to make sure he does everything right..Suraj most probably would have opted for family housing.


@ hotchpotch..Thanks so much re..your comments really brought a ssmile on my face..


@ May..thanks re..hope the next update meets your expectations


@ Varsha..thanks re


@Ramani..counselling queschen answered partly in update and partly to priyacool in this post..as for why and how of the marriage..lets wait and watch..am glad you are liking the story so far


@ Shriya..yes that is true, hostel rules are extremely strict..but this time, the situation involved a death and marriage in unforeseen circumstances, so the Institute has made an exception..in many ways to honour their dead student and to make it less traumatic for the smart student..OF course, it helps the Shanak love story


@ Ujjwala..Haye..such beautiful lines ..Jagjit Singh i baat hi kuch aur.. Bezari ke andhiyara mein..jeene walle jee lete hain..thanks so much


@ Shiksha: Thank you re'here you go with next update


@ Krazee..Gosh..how have you been? Don't know how looong I can make this one last'hopefully more questions unravel and answers get questioned'in the next updates'thank you so much


@ Christmas.. don;t you worry re..no way is Khanak preggie..did you meet Souma on the way to reading the story??? Hehehe..she thought the same too..Khanak throws up becos she has gone through a life changing experience ..and sometimes, the only way one deals with it is when you are so spent emotionally, that you have a physical reaction..haylo, no preggie stories here..don;t worry..thanks so much for your comments on my previous story..thanks re..


@Shriya..my dear..dont worry re..read my response to Christmas..I wish sometimes, we were all as angry to watch Khanak in the show waiting hand and hip and lips to an unemployed vela Shaan..nothing can be more sacrificial a bond than that one on the show..but kya kare na..that boat has sailed na re..Don't worry, aisa kuch nahin hoga iss Shanak ke beech..


All those who pressed Like...Bahut Thankoo Jee

Next update coming up



Edited by saaaz - 28 May 2011 at 9:39pm

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saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 28 May 2011 at 9:25pm | IP Logged

PART 4


Saturday 5pm..Hostel 7 Room 212


Kartik: I don't get it, there is something off with the damn alignment.

Murli: (pouring into the book of diagrams): Hmm..Shaan I thought you were going to look into this last night..

Shaan: (his head into Thermodynamics and Freezers) Haan..time nahin mila..was just tired..Yeh Dekate kahan gaya?

Murli: Hostel 4

Kartik: Yeh chemical wallon ki setting achi hai..

Murli: How come the chemical guys get the girls and we mechanical ..

Kartik: I swear, Harshad, Suraj..(holds his tongue)

Shaan: (looks up and goes back into his book)

Murli: I miss him yaar, ab tak tho chai bhi leke ajaata hum logon ke liye..

Kartik: (nudges him and nods towards Shaan and both of them stare at Shaan)

Shaan: (looks up from the book): Kya?? Come on..you think I don't miss him..

Murli: Don't be an arse..of course you do..we all do..but that's not the point..

Kartik: Shaan yaar..we are just wondering..

Murli: What has happened is no small shit..

Shaan: Listen you guys..I don't know what everybody's problem is..This afternoon that Shreela Maajee was eating our brains..

Kartik: What..When was this? Bhabhee was there too?

Shaan: Yeah..she was..

Murli: And?

Shaan: And what?!.

Kartik: This Dean CHOWDYA is only concerned that the board not question giving away the spot to a non student..especially since the State must have reneged Suraj's scholarship..the fact that your Dad has promised to pay double for the damn room is itching his ass..so now cover up for the board..

Murli: Come on..He does not need to drag Shreela babe into this..obviously they think Khanak needs some time..it is a huge deal for a small town girl..

Shaan: She is not that dumb..she is amazing..I mean amazingly adjusted..

(Murli and Kartik stare at each other..Harshad enters the room and he stares at everyone..)

Harshad: Abbb kya hua?

Murli: Nothing yaar..

Kartik: Shreela Doc se Shaan ke liye bulaava..

Harshad: (senses enough tension and breaks into a jig towards Shaan): Shreeela'Shreeela ki jawani..

Murli and Kartik are laughing..Shaan is smiling at Harshad and waving him away from his face..

Shaan: Aur tu??..Ho gaya tera Hostel 4 ki Mohita ke saath kissy vissy..

 

Saturday 10:15..Hostel7, Room 201


Shaan enters his room to find half of it filled with books stacked on the floor, some T shirts, shorts, bunch of papers with scribbles on them..the other cupboard half open..and suitcases fully opened..

Shaan:  What the heck is this??

Khanak: (peeps from the half opened cupboard): I am sorry..cannot live out of a suitcase..tho main safaii kar rahee thee..books jyaada aur kapde kam..

Shaan: Uske paas sirf teen T-shirts hote the..you need help??..(Her head is back in so he can't see her expression)

Khanak: (from inside the cupboard ): Nahin..I am OK..

Shaan: (walking towards the bathroom and steps on something..moves his feet to see her phone in two pieces on the floor, picks them up..keeps them on her bed): Phone ko kya hua?

Khanak: (suddenly walks around and over the stuff on the floor with a towel and change of clothes in her hand): Nothing..jab 10 baje ko ring nahin hua..I flung it..

Shaan: (he can now see her face..she has been crying..): Khanak

They stare at each other for a few seconds..the seconds turns into a minute and could have been more if not for the sudden yelling outside by chowkidar uncle..

Khanak: If you don't mind, main pehle naha loon..don't worry safai uske baad kar doongee..

Shaan: If you want aaj raat main Kartik ke yahaa so sakta hoon..

Khanak: THeek hai..

He can hear the water running..he looks around the whole mess..he opens his cupboard, changes into shorts..walks towards the small pantry enclave where there is a hot plate, two buckets and some utensils. He fetches a glass of water for himself. He can see there is a plate covered with some food in it..he picks up his bag to leave the room..and then suddenly through the noise of the water..he can hear her..she is singing..it is not clear..but she is..her singing voice sends a shiver down his spine..

..he has never heard a melody in his life..at the most, his Daadi singing some bhajan or lullaby when he was a kid and since then it has been techno, rock and club music..his bag automatically leaves his shoulder..he steps towards his desk, sits down..his hand automatically picks up her phone..he walks towards the night stand..opens the drawer, pulls out a swiss army knife and sits to repair her phone..

..her tears are getting washed down in the shower..it is such a small bathroom..but a luxury at the Institute..Hostel 7 is the only one with attached bath..tiny showers with tinier sinks and decent size toilet..thank god for that..she runs her hands on the tiling..its blue..Suraj's favorite color..not her's though..she continues humming..gets out of the shower..dries herself humming..and slowly steps into pyjamas and his Blue T-shirt, one that was among all his books..stares at herself into the mirror..she will be fine, she promises herself.

She steps out..and gasps..his desk is right in front of the bathroom..and with a towel wrapped around her head..she feels a bit foolish..he looks up, grins and waves her phone ..

Shaan: All back to normal'

Khanak: Aap jaane wale the na..

Shaan: Bus..thought I will help you out..

Khanak: Oh..uskee..

Shaan: it's okay..(and walks towards the mess and starts to collect all the books to put them in a box)

Khanak: Thanks..(and starts emptying her suitcase into the cupboard)

Shaan: (busy picking up books): Nice T-shirt by the way..

Khanak: (suddenly shy..looks at him, but his head is still bent in getting the job done): Oh..woh..Suraj ka hai..

Shaan:  (looks up at her): I know..Maine hi use diya tha..I hate blue..


Sunday, 2am..Hostel 7, Room 201


They have spent a long time staring at the same ceiling fan..

Khanak: Kal mujhe Dr.Shreela school ke music teacher se milwane walli hai..

Shaan: Kal main ghar jaaonga Bhaiya se milne..

Khanak: Oh..

Shaan: Good night

Khanak: Umm..Jee..good morning..(smiles into the darkness)

Shaan: Hmmm'(with a small smile shuts his eyes)

--

Katra Katra Jeene Do..

--

Review Mandatory

--

Next Part- Page 20



Edited by saaaz - 13 June 2011 at 9:41pm

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RB81 IF-Rockerz
RB81
RB81

Joined: 01 January 2011
Posts: 9074

Posted: 28 May 2011 at 9:47pm | IP Logged
hai saaz,
waiting for the update..
*off to read*
wat is this saaz?i need another long update today..
will u do it?(*looking expectantly*)plsss karo na?
the convo between the boys n their nok-jhok was nice..
even though they miss suraj mainly shaan didnt show it much..
will he at any time share it with someone?even khanak didnt share..will they both share abt suraj some time later..i wish that they talk abt him..
"shreela ki jawaani" was nice..
when khanak casually said she flung the phone when it didnt ring by 10 was so nice..i felt emotional..
so will shaan get to hear her sing more?
tho shaan didnt leave to kartik's room to sleep?instead he helped her n stayed there..
wish they talk a little more n become friends soon to start with..
i like this set up of both in the same room..they r kinda aloof but care for each other..dont talk much..but r not uncomfortable of the other's presence in the same room..
 
jaldhi update karo saaz..actually i was expecting part 4 from yesterday..ab mila lekin chota..so write more yaar..
 


Edited by RB81 - 28 May 2011 at 10:29pm

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saaaz

dishbhan Goldie
dishbhan
dishbhan

Joined: 16 February 2011
Posts: 1728

Posted: 28 May 2011 at 9:51pm | IP Logged
Life is settling down for these 2 I guess

Superb scenes ... totally natural!

The way she said she flung it when it did not ring at 10 ... I was like there, seeing her grief, which she could not show.

He could not do anything but call her name out ... and then calmly just decided to go to Karthik's place... not sure if it was bcoz of the mess in the room or of her emotions being messed up.

Btw, this is the first time he takes her name na? She has never called him by his name as yet ... am I right?

The small talk of t-shirt and stuff, just shows how much mature he is about life and accepting to new things ... All FFs have a very above normal human being shown in Shantanu ... I wonder why???


Next update kab?

~Cheers,
Dish


Edited by dishbhan - 28 May 2011 at 10:50pm

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candy84saaaz

saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 28 May 2011 at 10:24pm | IP Logged
Hey Dish...I want to believe that I am writing both Shaan and Khanak as close to reality as possible...in the sense..while one does not know what 'really' can happen in situations such as these...in no way do I want to paint him superhuman...he is a good friend..so he rose to the occassion..or as his mom said, he is impulsive..at the same time..now that he shares the room with his 'wife'..in his head, he treats her just as he would treat any other,,,no gloves nothing...and in so many ways Khanak is the same too...
Thank you so much for questioning...and analysing...thanks re, made me sooper glad...

Yes, this is the first time he has uttered her name after having called her wifey ...she has not..she has however acknowledged him as her husband...

he opts to go to Karthik..thinking maybe she needs time alone...but of course it was only she (her melodius voice) that changed his mind..made him selfish shall we say...

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