wrote in my earlier comment that will sit back and enjoy as your story flows...
wrote in my earlier comment that will sit back and enjoy as your story flows...
THANKS TO EVERYONE ESPECIALLY
@Priyacool: I am glad that this part made you happy..lets hope for the WIFE..to make an entry into his phone soon..
@May: Thanks re
@Vat: yes, actually Murli mentioning it was my subtle way of saying Murli had entered Shaan;s number into Khanak;s phone..full words on the SMS ..nice observation..made me smile..
@Suchi: Thank you..
@ Dish: I shall be completing it..but not as soon as I thought I would and that's what I meant..I am leaving it open ended for now..let me see..it is very unlike my previous writings where I knew exactly how to end it..but this time..I have no clue..
@ Ramani: Shaan meeting Tina seems to be a much awaited part..I am beginning to think whatever I have planned shall fall short..hehehe..nahin re..dekhte hai..yep, they are still in a teasing each other mode..
@ Lana: how cute is your statement about soulmates..too cute..and as for the holding Shaan during the ride..the wonderment as to what she was holding on to..was to subtly show..Khanak's independence..and also in many ways their current relation..she shall not hold on to him until there is a jerk..as long as they are cruising..they shall be by themselves..by each other but by themselves…a jolt brings them closer..As for your scene my dear..aap pooche aur hum na likhe aisa ho sakta hai kya?
@ Vandoo meri bandhoo..aise comments jab tu deti hai na..mera dil bhar aata hai..I swear ..no jokes..
@ Naveen: Good luck re..
@ Deepa: My gosh!! I am super touched by your comment..you are too cute re for showing such appreciation..really you are..I am so happy you like it..comment often..makes me feel good..
@ Shal: Haila..extras mat bol..bechare dost hain..woh nahin tho shanak nahi..hehe
@ Neha: WHADYAMEAN…I just could not understand a word you typed..are you saying that this is the best phase of Shanak and you are enjoying it..no are you saying that?? Tell..tell..nautankeee…not good with words…nunsenselessness…that's exactly the hook of the story sweetie…so yes…I got it..and you said it better than anyone..
@ missfilmy: oye ranjini…like I said I have you to thank for all the little details you have helped me with..a mention in my FF was the least I could do..
@Kiwu: did you mean this comment for my FF or something else??..thanks nonetheless re..
@rooji: Thanks re for your comments..yes, these two are supercute..yep you and Murli share the same feelings
@Kari: Thanks re..I am touched..
@Chris: of course you did..no no, it is ending but later than sooner..
@Sneha: You came..kidhar thi tu? Thanks re for your comments..
@Anu: Thanks so much..hmm so you are determined to wait and watch..this just means that I have to write more of such updates to get you to comment..hai na??..as for the bike scene..the simplicity was for a reason..see my response to Lara above..loved that you loved it..I have always said,..your comments are special..really are..always have detailed ones since my first story..shall always stay close to my heart..btw,,what ishara scens at coffe shop? Do you mean ishaara scene in the mess in Chapter 6 or ishara scene in the restaurant in Chap 10?
@Varsha: Aaammmoo…nuvu nalugu lines rasava..just for that you deserve an update ra..
@Deepali: thanks re..how sweet re your comments are..thanks so much
@Gaayu: Haila..you commented..me like!
@ Purvi: Yipee..you came..hold on..you will come regularly na or will I see you after another 10 parts..he ram!! Thanks so much re..yes, I love the boys too..they are the most reliable cartoons ever..
And those who pressed like: mm Hmmm...mm Hmmm...me also like..
Next part coming up
I know I said a couple of days..but had some time..and an idea for the next part so decided to post it before I forget..dyammeet need to keep an idea diary..now I am serious, no updates until Friday..
Part 11
Tuesday 1am..Hostel 7 Room 201..
Shaan enters the room slowly not wanting to disturb her, however, he notices the lights on and he can hear a retching sound from the bathroom..concerned..he walks towards the bathroom..
Shaan: Khanak!!
Khanak: (weak): Main yaha hoon..
And there sitting on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet seat, is Khanak in her kurta and jammies and for the first time, Shaan notices her long hair, that almost reaches the toilet floor..
Shaan: Khanak, kya hua?
Khanak: Lagta hai kuch galat kha liya (and goes at it again..trying to push her hair back and the other hand holding the toilet seat)
Shaan: (suddenly on his knees, holding her hair..its soft..he thinks): Oh god!! Kabse chal raha hai yeh?
Khanak: (stops..looks at him with a are you kidding look): Pata nahin..maine ghadhi nahin dekhee..(and continues her deed..)
Shaan: (rolling his eyes and running his hand over her hair): I think we should take you to the hospital..
Khanak: KYA? Arrey..do teen baar ultee karloongee..phir so jaongee..I will be fine..
Shaan: (gets his hand reluctantly away from her hair): Are you sure..??
Khanak: (gets up): Of course..dekha.!! .(and then sways a bit)
Shaan: (gets up, holds her and takes her to the sink): Are you okay?
Khanak: (holds her head and snaps): yes, I am!
Shaan: (lets go): okay..
Shaan comes out while Khanak is washing up..he texts Murli..
Dude..meds for nausea or food poisoning?
Waits for a response..while waiting for her..he sits at his desk..shakes his leg..and keeps looking at the door of the bathroom..it suddenly opens just as his phone rings..
Murli: Kya hua?
Shaan: Actually (glances at Khanak) Khanak ki tabiyat achanak kharab ho gayee hai..
Khanak: (glares at him and whispers): Kaun hai?
Shaan: (looks at her): ek minute..
Khanak: (grabs the phone): hello..
Murli: Are you okay?
Khanak: yes, I am..please ..good night!! (hands over the phone to Shaan)
Shaan: (irritated): What is wrong with you?
Khanak: Absolutely nothing, I am fine now..chalo so jaate hai..
Shaan switches off the lights and both of them get into their beds..
Tuesday 2am..Hostel 7 Room 201
Shaan is on his stomach..but facing her bed..while Khanak's back is towards him..suddenly she turns..
Khanak: Kya barish ho rahee hai..?
Shaan: Nahin tho!
Khanak: Mujhe barish bahut pasand hai..Main kal Raag Malhaar pe bandish pesh karne walli hoon..
Shaan: Kya?
Khanak: (faces him): Oh ho! Raag Malhaar..is the name of the raag, usually sung in honour of rains..bandish..is the song or composition..
Shaan: (nonchalance): Oh Ok! Good to know..I'guess..
Khanak: bekar kahee ke!!.. I am quite excited..
Shaan: Only if you are feeling better..
Khanak: I am better..
Shaan: I think it was the wada pav..
Khanak: Isse bura aur kuch nahin ho sakta..
Shaan: Kya matlab..??
Khanak: (turns on her back): I have been dreaming of having the wada pav everyday and if that thing is the reason..main tho bahut disappoint hone walli hoon..
Shaan: (smiles at her): Tum pagal ho!!
Khanak: (suddenly becomes very quiet):..
Shaan: Khanak?!
Khanak: Woh bhi mujhse hamesha yahee kehta..aur main hamesha usse kehtee ki pagal tum ho!!
Shaan: (on his stomach..folds his hands under his chin and stares at the desk on the side of his bed): Woh bahut kuch tha..lekin pagal bilkul nahin..
Khanak: Haan..itna suljha hua ki naaraz bhi nahin hota tha..
Shaan: (turns to her and smiles): You probably made up for that..
Khanak: (laughs in the darkness and then in a serious tone): Mujhe kal subah riyaaz karna hai..I need to practice..
Shaan: (on his back..staring into darkness): What time do you need to get there?
Khanak: 2pm.
Shaan: Good night..Khanak
Khanak: Jee..good morning..
Shaan: (confident smile): Hmm..
Tuesday 9 am'Hostel 7 Room 201..
Shaan is up..in his drowsy state..he enters the bathroom..and starts brushing his teeth..and suddenly realizes the toilet and the sink smell antiseptic..he is not able to place the smell..till he spots the dettol bottle over the flush..she actually cleaned the whole place before getting out..it amazes him to no end..he has never ever cleaned anything..while he is hale and hearty..forget while he is sick..
He comes out of the bathroom..and notices her still fast asleep..he nears her bed..and touches her hair..the part that is resting on the bed..so that she cannot feel it..she stirs..takes his hand back..and then suddenly realizes..something is off..he puts his hand on her forehead..she is burning up..he shakes her awake..
Shaan: Khanak..
Khanak: (drowsily): Hmm..
Shaan: tumhe bukhaa r hai..
Khanak: (mutters): Tumharee Saas ka byaah hai..
Shaan: KYA? Oh for God's sake, Khanak..wake up..
Khanak: Baiii
Shaan: Main tumhara koyee bhai nahin hoon..
Khanak: (opens her eyes): Aap yahan..(sits up too fast..and then holds her head)
Shaan: Khanak..we need to take you to a hospital..please..
Khanak: It is just a headache..
Shaan: It is not..what is wrong with you? You are burning up..
Khanak: I will be fine..
Shaan: (yells): FINE! ? ..you are burning up..I am calling the hospital..they will send the bus..
Khanak: Please ..
Shaan: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Khanak: I AM SCARED OF HOSPITALS!!
And that is how for the first time in broad daylight..Khanak and Shaan bring up the fateful day..2 days before the completion of a week since his death..they face each other in silence as though they mourn him..after a whole five minutes of staring at each other in that same silence..
Shaan: You will be fine..I am there..
Khanak: You are always there..
Shaan: Should I leave??
Khanak: You cannot..You won't be able to..
Shaan: Maybe I don't want to..
Khanak: You don't know that..
Shaan is silent..and so is she..the silence is stretching out of the room into the corridors and all the way to the hospital Suraj died in ..and threatens to kill them too..until ..
Khanak: there is a crocin in that bag..
It takes him a minute to dig it..walks to the pantry enclave..gets a glass of water..tears the cover of the packet..and puts one tablet in his hand..hands it over to her..and watches her neck while she downs it..
Shaan: I have to get to my session..
Khanak: Please go..
Shaan: (stares at her for a while): I will call you in an hour..
He places her phone next to her pillow..He puts the Jansport over his shoulder..gives a look to her sleeping figure..and leaves the room..while Khanak..wipes her tears ..and wills herself to get well..since she needs to be at Sangeet Mahabhartee at 2pm..
--
katra katra jeene do
zindagi hai, behne do
--
Review Mandatory
--
Next Part- Page 53
Originally posted by: saaaz
And that is how for the first time in broad daylight..Khanak and Shaan bring up the fateful day..2 days before the completion of a week since his death..they face each other in silence as though they mourn him..after a whole five minutes of staring at each other in that same silence..
Shaan: You will be fine..I am there..
Khanak: You are always there..
Shaan: Should I leave??
Khanak: You cannot..You won't be able to..
Shaan: Maybe I don't want to..
Khanak: You don't know that..
Shaan is silent..and so is she..the silence is stretching out of the room into the corridors and all the way to the hospital Suraj died in ..and threatens to kill them too..until ..
Khanak: there is a crocin in that bag..
It takes him a minute to dig it..walks to the pantry enclave..gets a glass of water..tears the cover of the packet..and puts one tablet in his hand..hands it over to her..and watches her neck while she downs it..
Shaan: I have to get to my session..
Khanak: Please go..
Shaan: (stares at her for a while): I will call you in an hour..
He places her phone next to her pillow..He puts the Jansport over his shoulder..gives a look to her sleeping figure..and leaves the room..while Khanak..wipes her tears ..and wills herself to get well..since she needs to be at Sangeet Mahabhartee at 2pm..
comment:
p_commentcount