emotional abuse

Marriage is not just about being with the right person but also being the right person YOURSELF.

Marriage is not just a physical relationship and about two individuals coming together. To sustain a successful marriage it is important that an effort is put in from both sides.

I've noticed that Nivi is and has always been affectionate towards everyone apart from Viren right from when they first got married she has been really unaffectionate towards him, when he always stood by her (this was while she was still oblivious of fact that he is the stalker) and then showing a limited amount of affection towards him even after they got back together and moved back in the Sood house. It's like she knows that she can get away with anything when it comes to Viren because he loves her so much.

Not many will agree with me but i think she is emotionally abusive, but also want to say that even the most loving person is capable of emotional abuse. She is using dwitas love to get what she wants when in fact it is out of guilt she is taking such a drastic step (something i think she doesn't even know herself that she is full of guilt) she is making all the decisions on Viren's behalf.

Emotinal abuse grinds you down and She is emotionally draining Viren by her constant demands, he is having to give in to these demands as he said himself that he is only agreeing to this (signing the papers for the hysterectomy) out of love, but you can see that he is close to breaking point. I'm surprised he hasn't had a nervous breakdown yet as he is investing so much into this marriage but is getting nothing in return.(e.g when they rushed back from the resort, when Nivi started demanding to return for dwita) He has a wife who is busy pleasing others and doesn't have the slightest hint of what the repercussions of her decisions are having on her husband. All this is now leading to Viren being the victim of feeling depressed, worthless and helpless.

Not only that she is also sexually selfish, she is okay to go to him to have her physical needs met but making it out that it's his physical needs that she is meeting and it's not fair to refuse him!!!!!

I do apologise if I have upset or offended anyone.

 

Hi Aamina, well u havnt offended me, it's ur POV & ur fully entitled express it! Edited by anjaani07 - 12 years ago

Yeah I see what your saying asma and yeah like you I also want to see the old Nivren back. She knows what his weakness is and it is her and her water works. I can't believe she is the same woman who stayed with him and helped him after he was revealed as the stalker.

I cant believ it either Aamina. You know, part of me is happy that ccbm wont end tomoro but then part of me is just thinking kaha se kaha aa gayi yeh show and its characters?! I guess they're showing us what one persons single minded-ness/guilt can do to a marriage and a family but if you'd asked me a few weeks ago, i'd never in a million years have guessed we'd end up here!!

The name of the topic is so apt to what Nivi is doing to Viren. She knows how to use her weapon.. Her tears to convince people that what she is doing is right.. She is an utter selfish and cunning human being and somehow she gets away with the "Mahan" title despite of ruining everyone's life. It's all DS, VD and Sid's fault.. bahot sir pe chadake ke rakha hai na ab bhugatna padega. Nivedita only and only thinks about herself.. How on earth will she ever give any sanskar to Dweeta.. Like others she will ruin this poor Dweeta's life too. It's enough for one selfish and cunning Nivi in that Sood house.. Dusri ki zarurat nahi hai ab. CC is right when she says that Nivediat can never..never give any happiness or love to her son. She has ruined poor Viren's life. No wonders why CC and HL hate her so much..coz they know how pretensious Nivi is.

Aamina and Asma ...both of you have said it brilliantly ...too good ...thanks

aamina I agree with you there is a component of emotional abuse here-perhaps unconsciously.  Nivi is so involved in her own feelings and justification for whatever decision she makes that she is totally insenitive to her husband.  In a marriage a husband and wife discuss and decide together about the most trivial things and here we have Nivi making a major decision on her own without any thought whatsoever.  We see Viren getting drained.  How long should his patience last?  I think he has had enough patience.  I am also for once seeing CC's point of view that Nivi is not the suitable girl for him.

I don't think she is doing any emotional abuse as Nivi is not kind of person who has these kind of thoughts. She herself is sacrificing her right to become mother for the sake of motherless child. Though her decision is wrong and there is no justification for that but we can't compare this with selfishness. She is so much in pressure because she really loved her sister that she is unable to make a right choice but this doesn't mean she don't care for ones she love.

Aamina, i do agree with u.

the best part of your post is the following(according to me):

 

Marriage is not just about being with the right person but also being the right person YOURSELF.

amina really gud post love it jannn really ...am feeling bad for verin and for nivi 2 agree nivi must think properly  but she can't as she alwys remember dd when she think about verin she makes a step but doesn't complete it that dd msg always be in front of her she need first to go out of dd death and she will think gud after that ... love ur pov sweeti