Joined: 28 January 2010
After going through every emotion possible, I feel wrung out, but the constant thought that remains with me is that I have faith in my love for Ishaan and his love for me.
When I was feeling miserable about Ishaan having forgotten me, Badi Maa told me something that soothed my heart. She said that human emotions are connected to our hearts, not to our conscious mind, and so, I shouldn't lose hope. Her opinion made sense. I know that Ishaan loves me, and that it is only a matter of time before we will be back together. It has been so long since he came back from the hospital, yet he hasn't shown any inclination to befriend me or talk to me - on his own. I miss being with Ishaan, feel hurt and upset about his behaviour though I know he doesn't remember me – so it isn't really his fault.
Badi Maa and Dadiji gave me some cool advice. They both told me that I should be happy and see the silver lining in this situation. As of now, I have got an opportunity to make Ishaan fall in love with me, all over again!! OMG, wouldn't that be wonderful? But, I think, a bhondu like Ishaan will take ages to fall in love.
I have started applying subtle tricks to connect with Ishaan and remind him of our love. Like, when everyone in the family was pulling pranks on Ishaan and claiming fake things for him to do, as he doesn't remember anything, Ilesh bhaiya told Ishaan that girls reject him because of his dress sense. Right then, I jumped into the conversation and assured him that I would never reject him. I even winked at him, and felt a bit naughty doing so. He got very conscious, which was too sweet.
Nowadays, I sleep on the sofa, as I like to see Ishaan sleeping and be there when he wakes up. I remembered once waking him up with wet hair and being very filmy. Perhaps I should try that again and see if it has any effect on him. Though Ishaan might not know it consciously, I know he enjoys being with me. Like, when I go to his room to give him dhoop, or know all his little little habits and needs. Everyone has told me to be with him as much as I can and do things for him. I flirted with him while feeding him breakfast. He was surprised when I told him about his favourite dishes. I can't help smiling when I feel Ishaan's happiness. I am happy when he is.
Once, when he needed help in taking his shirt off, I removed his shirt and glasses, which got stuck together. I had done this before, and could see traces of that memory in Ishaan's eyes, as we gazed into each other's eyes. When he got embarrassed and realised he was shirtless, he ran out of the room, calling for his bhabhis. I teased him mercilessly, asking him why did he rush off to them like a kid whenever he needed anything. I didn't let him go and asked his opinion about my nail polish, etc. I couldn't help but laugh out loud at his funny reactions to my questions.
Later, when he was cleaning his scooter, I chatted with him about his girlfriend, and asked him if he had ever taken her for a ride on the scooter with him. I have realised I can do anything to win Ishaan over again, and am mentally prepared to woo him. I knew I was on the right track when Ilesh bhaiya told me that Ishaan had been enquiring about me. I was overjoyed.
Perhaps, if I keep up with such tricks and pursue him full-on, he might fall in love with the new me, Shashikala, and also remember his Suhana. Do write in with your advice on how to make him fall in love with me at [email protected], and don't forget to watch Sasural Genda Phool every Monday to Friday at 7.45 pm, only on STAR Plus.
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