Dil Dosti Dance-FF-Part 21 - page 36! :) - Page 26

Posted: 12 years ago
Okay - my quick reviews chapter wise: 

Chapter 1 - Can I say your Sharon is a vast improvement on the show?! I've always thought its unfair to show her character as slow on pretext of her vanity - people can be vain and brainy at once! Oh, and hot and happening at that, lol! I like her already - she has the right mix of being mean and heady, yet thoughtful and smart. More on Swayam, when I read more of him... 

Chapter 2 - Before I forget (I had to memo to myself mentally to mention this without getting lost in the Kriyaansh dynamics πŸ˜³) your 'bold' font for parasites totally caught my attention but I have to admit it was a second before I related the pun in the coincidence that she was getting wary of this 'hunk parasite' called Rey, while reading its literal definition over and over struggling to grasp meaning πŸ˜† ... Kudos to bringing out the nuances without being blunt! And you were calling your writing child-like?! I think light and subtle is the hardest way to write, and impress - so I'm already thoroughly planted in your PM list, thank you! 
Oh should I add Kriyaansh were already Ice and Fire much! I like them on the show - but there are just those times now and again, when their scenes are stretched into too much staring and rob it of the impact it could otherwise have! In general - I think they are a classic teen couple to explore in fiction... and if your introduction of them is anything to go by - I know I'm in for some fun reading! 

Chapter 3 - Oh I love Vicky and Rey! They are my guilty secret - cause while I like Swayam and Rey, and their oh so awesome bonding beyond LOC, Rey and Vicky are quite another level and thing! I miss them on the show - so I really hope you will never ignore them! Neha liking Vicky better when he's mean is so expected - at least he's not grinning with food stuck in his teeth then πŸ˜† I like how easily Neha complies with Rey's indication - and of course the hot and cold Kriyaansh dynamics continues! A little cooler towards end of chapter 3. More on SwaRon next? I would think...! 

Chapter 4 - ooh! Here come ShaRon Galore! That was one neat scene! For all my love the Kriyaannsh original dress rip scene - especially the follow up of Chabilal and Romaira - you totallt get all the points to make that rip sound plausible and fitting. The scene had SwaRon screaming all over. As for boys being dimwits - lol, we're talking teen fics after all! πŸ˜† It's their natural prerogative! The little section about SwaRon past since kindergarten was so adorable! 

Chapter 5 - Classic lines: Damn Dazzlers, even their eyes dazzle!πŸ˜† Er, maybe its just this one Dazzler Kria...! And again, Did you seriously bite me?! πŸ˜² *shakes head at these two* Kriyaansh are so awesomely punk! Totally enjoy the punch in their parts! Oh and, Neha getting love note from RDX?! She can dream! its probably Vicky, for all you know! πŸ˜† But then again, the note didn't bear food marks - yeh?! Hmmm... As for the 7PM date... I doubt she's that easy to draw... or is she?!

Chapter 6 - Hah! I was right, she didn't go after all! But trust Rey to bring the date to her πŸ˜† Now he's gone from being a Dazzler to a plumber?! Sigh! Things you do for love! I like how he buys a 'pink' rose after 'destroying' the red one. Smart move mate, you know you're going too fast when a girl holds up a 'Dazzler' for a 'date' πŸ˜† 

Will read the rest soon and be back again! 

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be back later to edit for other chapters. I hope you don't tire of long comments, I can get tedious at times... πŸ˜³
Edited by JZephyr - 12 years ago
Posted: 12 years ago
I read it all in one go 😲
I just came across this form for the first time and read it all and trust me, its AMAZING !
I got so engrossed in it that idk what do i say.
Honestly, it was supercool.
I loved every part so so much !!

And i am like WOW !!

Specially, Kriyansh πŸ˜ƒ
And i just love it how she kissed him πŸ˜†

Please update soon.
And pm me kay ?
Posted: 12 years ago
OMG OMG SHE KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!! ahhh☺️

Anamika IAM SORRY FOR not commenting on the last part!!!! damn awesome yaar!!!!! loved the way you described their emotions!!!! and yeah i have not forgotten about your vm request...iam sorry yaar ...actually nowadays iam quite busy with studies...but will surely make one on ur song!! plzz can u post that song again so that i can download it :))))
😳
Posted: 12 years ago
Chapter 7: Aww these two! He saves her from the shower only to get irriatated at being the only one drenched and pull her back under in vengeance?! πŸ˜† Kria's right Rey - you are a Dazzler, can't take another upper hand πŸ˜† It was so cute to watch the little but consequential (?) bonding between Mommy and Rey - good idea to get on the good side already... ofc, it helps she has no idea about cut pipes and plumber wannabe acts πŸ˜†

Chapter 8 - Line of the chapter:  he was kind of cute in a gross, disgusting, burger-eating pig-kind of way πŸ€£ Viha were uber cute! Vikki just a tad more than Neha, cause I always side with the guys β˜ΊοΈ Glad it wasn't RDX or Vikki writing the notes, cause RDX would be a shock and Vikki too cliche! You made the best call there! I wonder what he's going to tell the Dazzler gang though... specially Sharon? Maybe Rey will rescue his pig-mate?! πŸ€”


Edited by JZephyr - 12 years ago
Posted: 12 years ago
Pre note: So I'm trying to go slow, but each time I sit down, its hard to not just finish up with the 19 some chapters! But I'm trying to time it so I'm just rightly coordinated with the end of your exams... you better be having immediate update plans at that point 

Chapter 9: Wow! Can I just say you dealt with ViHa a whole ton better than the show itself? I usually have a hard time relating to the build up for that couple on the show, they are the only ones who kinda seem misfit - no offense ViHa fans, I just think they should be handled better... like you've done it here! Not just the food fight in the canteen - but other scenes they get, are usually left hanging middle of no where, quite noncommittally. Anyway, you did much much better. I actually wasn't waiting for their part to get done - as I do on the show - and that it took and entire chapter went well with me! not to forget, Vikki is my secret favorite πŸ˜† He's not the dude, and he's not the humble nice guy - he's in between and his half minds and imperfection make him so real! πŸ˜³

Chapter 10: Now this was bumper part - we get Kriyaansh and we get ViHa! I know I should feel for Neha, but I feel more for Vikki. Because. β˜ΊοΈ Anyway - Kria and Rey continue with their hot and cold routine... they way Rey thought about how close he'd been to getting that date but wouldn't cause of Vikki, made me think of today's episode when they push him into election and he's thinking of how for the first time she's smiled and said thanks and there goes everything down the drain πŸ˜† Poor guy - I think life is more unfair to him than Swayam... at least Swayam's friends are more tolerant of his obsessive 'lowe' for Sharon πŸ˜† Poor Rey has not an ear in the place to call his own, not to mention an impossible nut like Kria to crack ... oh I feel for him alright! πŸ€”

and that's me for today, more reading and reviews tomorrow! 
Posted: 12 years ago
OhEmGee, JZee. Wow...I can't believe you've reviewed each part individually! I will reply back after my finals! But for now, you can safely read at least 3 parts a day, even more actually because I'll probably update this weekend. Happy Reading!
 
Anamika (:
Posted: 12 years ago
Chapter 11 - Hostility and indifference were the only ways she could deal with a Dazzler, sure! Operative words were - could she manage indifference?! Hostility, maybe, just for a little while! Kriyaansh continue being hot and cold - I think nothing can really change that for them, even long after they get together... I wonder if there will be a day when Rey throws a tantrum and Kria has to appease?! 
ViHa were cute. Vikki's trying so hard, but he's also been an A level jerk, more than once at that! He can't have his cake and eat it too. Am I the only one who finds a Landon Carter semblance here?! 

Chapter 12 - πŸ€£ πŸ€£ πŸ€£ I officially love Vikki more than ever! the guy just implies insanity and fun, there's no other way about it! Walks into a puddle and thinks of how hard love is (seriously princess, grow up!) then thinks about his sneakers, then remembers again that he was supposed to think about this verbal diarrhea girl, rebukes his 'pyaar' but looks for her anyway, gets attacked by a hooker and the girl plays his knight-ess with the armor πŸ€£ Life can be so unfair! πŸ˜†

Chapter 13 - πŸ€£ ViHa continues, as does the laughter riot. Can this guy get anymore cute?! Yes Neha, he is the diva, and Sharon can never beat him at that πŸ˜† The whole pati patni role play bwas so cute - reminded me of Chabilal and Romaira from the show between Kriyaansh (I wonder if you refer to that?!) And Vikki - its enough that you're one hell of a princess, stop trying get all SRK too πŸ˜†

Chapter 14 - Oh what's with these girls accusing the Dazzler men of being girls! I think a guy who can tell emerald and aqua and green and algae apart - just has a sharp sharp eye. Maybe he wont groan at shopping trips too - how awesome is that?! Psst Kria! Also, I like the silent symbiosis between Rey and Neha - they are each dealing with a nuthead and pighead respectively... might as well help each other πŸ˜† And Swaron playing unintentional cupid to give Kriyaansh a UST moment - wow, if only she knew! πŸ˜†
Posted: 12 years ago
Part 20 -
 

Neha literally dragged Kria by her arm into Ecology class.

"Krrriaaa! Walk! - Right now! Or -  we're not -  friends!" Neha said, panting in between.

"What?! No! I can't! I have to go do homework for English class." Kria said, pulling herself away from her crazy friend. People in the hallway were turning around to stare at them.

"You didn't GO to class this morning. And Kria already done last week's homework. Neha copied that so don't lie." Neha stopped. "He's not there. Rey."

" SHHH! We need a code name for him. RS?" She looked at Neha.

"Very original, Kria." Neha rolled her eyes, leading Kria in the classroom.

"Sit." Neha told her. Kria glared at her, walking to the last corner seat of the room. "Uh, Kria, not there! We can't even see the slides from there!"

"Too bad." Kria pouted. She opened her books and sat down, trying her best to hide herself. She did the best she could but just as Rey walked in, everything stopped. It took him about two seconds to spot her. Well, so much for 'hiding' at the back of the classroom, Kria thought. She couldn't look away. He held her gaze in a piercing way. He usually smiled, or winked or did something at her. But right now, he was just staring. It was almost creepy in a...creepy way. What the hell?! Kria! Wake up!! Snap out of it! She forced herself to look away, looking at the front of the classroom.

Rey walked straight up to her desk, placing his book beside her's. Kria's eyes widened in horror. Or shock. Or both. Neha looked at him and walked towards Vikki who he mouthed, "What happened?!" to her.

"Neha?!" Kria called out, in fear. Neha shook her head vigorously, as if saying, "no way". Damn it, Kria thought. She took her words back. She had the worst best friend ever!

"Rey, about yesterday – I shouldn't have – "

As the professor walked into the classroom, the class stood to acknowledge his presence and Rey looked away from Kria. Was he angry? Was he just playing with her? She was getting restless already. She spent the whole lecture, looking at him stealthily, stealing a glance here and there. She looked at her notes. She barely had anything written down. Hell, even Vikki, sitting three seats away from her had written more. Now that was saying something.

                As the class shuffled around, Kria realized the lecture was over. She gathered her things and put them in her bag quickly, leaving her pens uncapped, something she never did. She was about to get up when she caught Rey's piercing gaze again.

"Sit." He said. And she did, obediently. He waited for the whole class to get empty. Then he walked up and closed the door. The first thought Kria had was 'rape'! And the second was where the hell was Neha?! How could she leave her with this angry vulture? He approached her slowly like those old Hindi movies with the villains walking towards the doe-eyed, helpless heroine.

"Rey, I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have done what I did. It was totally uncalled for. Out of line. You were just annoying –"

"Oh, I was the one that caused that?" Rey asked, cockily.

"Yes! You're...just so arrogant! You think you're always right. You're the hero. You HAVE to fix everything. You have to be friends with the Dazzlers and us too! I mean, you just can't be superman, Rey."

"Okay, so my over-friendly nature makes you angry?" Rey asked.

"Yes." Kria sighed. It did.

"And so when you're mad at people, you go and kiss them?" Rey asked, smiling ever so slightly.

"No! I mean...I just sort of did that. I don't know why. It's just stupid. Okay? I was stupid. Now, can I please go?" Kria looked helpless. Rey was loving every bit of this interrogation.

"No, it wasn't just something stupid. You were trying to tell me something. You said, "it's nothing"?" Rey questioned, walking towards her.

Kria couldn't stand it anymore. He was teasing her! "Rey, I don't remember. Just get lost. I'm sorry, okay? It won't happen again." She grabbed her bag and started walking past him. Rey grabbed her hand, pulling her aggressively.

"Rey, what the hell- ?!" Kria shouted.

"Kria, you need to learn to kiss." He lifted her face slightly with his index finger, tilting his own.

"Rey – " Kria tried pushing him away, but Rey interwined his fingers with her's, pulling her closer until their lips met. He didn't kiss her fiercely as Kria had been anticipating. His kiss was soft and gentle. He didn't hurt her. He stopped suddenly, pulling away just a bit to only leave his bottom lip touching her's. Kria opened her eyes, confused. Was she really that bad at kissing? He smiled as he pulled away. She was frozen in her spot. The whole world was spinning like crazy. She looked at his twinkling eyes, his lips curled into a mischievous grin.

"We'll practice more later. I'm sure you'll get better eventually." He winked, leaving the room. Kria sat down on the table, afraid her wobbly legs would make her crash if she tried to walk. That was...unbelievable.

Posted: 12 years ago
A big thank you to all! So I know this is kinda short...buy I swear this is the last short part because I'm done 3/4 of my exams today!! Yayyy! And just ONEEE more to gooo on Monday!!!! So after Monday, I'll try to update more often! Hope y'all like this one! Comments? Suggestions?
 
Cheers!
Anamika
Posted: 12 years ago
Yay you to post the new chapter, I'm going to review the ones left now -

Chapter 15 - Oooh SwaRon going all touchy-feely πŸ˜† They were actually cute, no I mean Swayam always is, even Sharon was! Her cute side tends to shine only when he's around and no one else... the dynamics of knowing someone from the age of dolls and action figurines I suppose! 

Chapter 16 - ViHa exclusive this time! I love the diva boy... I know Rey is the perfect one, and Swaron is a sweetheart like no other - but my favorite shall always be this blundering buffoon! He's SO MUCH FUN! Even when he's trying to be a pain, lol! I just wish you'd bring outb (eventually) this other side to him which can beat Neha at being the profound guy... like something he's such a natural at, that it throws her of for her diva boy to have such a knack - and let that not be dancing... I mean, all these people are dancers- so ofc he's good at that! Something else. I wouldn't care of he was just this excellent (secret) cook - given his food obsession! Because in the end, there is something pretty menial about cooking and it would surprise Neha if she found spoiled boy to know his ways with winning hearts through stomachs! Just a random line of thought ...! 

Chapter 17 - LOL @Vikki getting jealous of a nerd... The Dazzler sure forgets his stature around this 'lowly' people πŸ˜† tch, tch! Rey getting under Kria's skin is so expected - she does it to him all the time and deserves a taste of her own medicine, sure thing! And whoa, I'm glad the next three parts are up after this - I'd hate to wait on an update at such a point! 

Chapter 18 - Ooh really, she didn't just kiss him! Oh I feel for Rey... poor guy gets pulled into an argument he's absolutely not called for, then gets pulled into a kiss that there is absolutely no defining off! I wonder what's he's going to make of this becoming the first kiss in their history - he can grudge her all his life to make the first one an outburst! πŸ˜† Oh Kria - your head is one convoluted place! 

Chapter 19 - Haha! See, I said he wont let go of ruining his first like that! Not in the vengeful way, but really, everyone wants their first moments with someone special to be special - then again, for Fire and Ice people, this is special πŸ˜† Kria - ever the more messed in her head! She goes out to kiss the guy to prove to herself that there's nothing she feels - and misses out an important detail like his reaction to the same?! Hello! You didn't just lock lips with Reyaansh Singhania's wax statue to test! This was the guy himself - alive and kicking! Oh she's called the action on, she better be ready for reciprocation πŸ˜†  
On a side note - Neha and Kria were so0 so cute! Girlfriends are made of stuff like that! πŸ˜³

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